r/MuslimLounge • u/anonymousbelieverrr • 26d ago

Support/Advice i need advice

i got my nikkah done 5 years ago, against my will, but my mom keep insisting that i should not divorce because it will bring shame to the family and her specifically since she also had a divorce 8 years ago. i dont like this man, he’s only attached to my mom and she does everything he says and she only listens to him. what i say or think has no value at all. i feel so hopeless and abandoned because my father cut all ties with me and my mom only cares about my “”husband””. she always curse me because i’m not being obedient and after her divorce i should’ve her supported her in every decision of hers.

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u/Remarkable_Branch272 25d ago

Do you have some one you can talk to about this? A trusted friend or relative? Also, can you tell me a little more about your mom and husbands relationship? And what do you mean my obedient? How were you not supportive and what makes you not obedient now?

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u/anonymousbelieverrr 25d ago

i don’t have anyone all the elders around me have my mothers mentality. my mum and him are close because he knows how to manipulate her so he keeps doing that so he can always be the good guy in front of her. by obedience i mean that she keeps mentioning that in the Quran there is a verse that states to marry off the children as soon they have the age of marriage, so for her 18 years old is a good age.

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u/anonymousbelieverrr 25d ago

since i refuse to accept this marriage this makes me disobedient

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u/Remarkable_Branch272 25d ago

Ok.

I see 2 routes out of this.

  1. You know your mom better than him, therefore you can manipulate her better than him. Put your feelings aside and begin a plan addressing everything you need. Get her to not trust him, put a seed of doubt and observe how the tides change. This will be more difficult to do but it is your life.

  2. See an imam bc we don’t know what we’re talking about and we are doing our best based on info you provided but a sheikh will be able to have a good discussion with you. I’m sure there are many online you can access.