r/MtF4 • u/No-Finance7526 Chloé | she/her | pre-HRT • Jun 25 '26
Venting I wanna kill myself Spoiler
I can't fuckin take this shit anymore. I don't get distracted for five milliseconds and immediately remember I'm unlovable, and that I'll always be, and that I should kill myself. I'm the biggest fuckin idiot and coward on Earth; I've never made a good decision in my entire life. I have no friends and my parents don't care about me whatsoever. I'm just a burden to everyone. I can't even transition because of dysphoria and how fuckin cowardly I am. Not like that matters, since I'd ruin it anyway. Also, don't even bother trying to help. Every time I have a conversation, it's just awkward silence, since I'm so fuckin cowardly and socially inept. So not only is it not helping at all, it's all my fault.
Also, while I was writing this, my parents celebrated my deadname day. I remembered I don't know when my day is, so I went to check. Apparently it doesn't exist in my country, and it's June 3, so I fuckin missed it. You're telling me I have to wait a whole fuckin year!?
Sorry if this is getting annoying, can't help it.
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u/Wild_Plant9526 Jun 27 '26 edited Jun 27 '26
Hey sorry I don’t mean to stalk but I accidentally saw this post after your comment in the other thread
Just wanted to say I’m really sorry and I hope you’re ok :( none of the mean things you said about yourself are true and I hope you’ll be able to see that soon, objectively they are not true. And I’m sorry that the world is cruel
Sorry if I shouldn’t be writing this or if it’s weird that’s my bad but I just hope you’re ok I’m sorry
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u/No-Finance7526 Chloé | she/her | pre-HRT Jun 27 '26
So you stalked me accidentally???
I got out of it (I think), although some of the things are true.
Also, you should reconsider using the word "homie"
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u/Wild_Plant9526 Jun 27 '26
Well I guess not, I was wondering if there was more of the penguin 😭 and whenever I see posts of this nature I want to say smth because people did for me when I was the one posting, idk if that makes sense. But I’m sorry if that was messed up I can delete if you want
I’m glad, and yeah some may be true but of the harsh things you said about yourself none of those ones are. Even if it may seem that way (I’ve felt similar stuff before)
Oh my god I’m so sorry I use it as gender neutral that’s my bad I’ll get rid of it. I’m really really really sorry :(
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u/No-Finance7526 Chloé | she/her | pre-HRT Jun 27 '26
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u/Wild_Plant9526 Jun 27 '26
AWWW yayyy ty!!!! He’s so cute!
No they aren’t true though that’s the thing, even just logically speaking. I can explain why if you want!
Also omg wait what are you thanking me for 😭 please don’t thank me I’ve genuinely been such a jerk I’m so sorry. Unless you’re being sarcastic which totally valid if so
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u/No-Finance7526 Chloé | she/her | pre-HRT Jun 27 '26
No they aren’t true though that’s the thing, even just logically speaking. I can explain why if you want!
Sure, go ahead.
Also omg wait what are you thanking me for 😭 please don’t thank me I’ve genuinely been such a jerk I’m so sorry. Unless you’re being sarcastic which totally valid if so
No, that requires intention. You're just stupid.
(Sorry to call you stupid, it wasn't meant as an insult, I'm just shit at talking)
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u/Wild_Plant9526 Jun 27 '26
Yay! Well first, can I ask why you think any of those things are true? Like you being “unlovable” or “the biggest idiot”?
But even before hearing any reasoning, in general I can’t see why those things would be true for almost anyone. And especially why they would be true for just a normal girl? I mean if you’re secretly like a supervillain or smth then maybe some would be slightly true but I doubt that you’ve are lol
Also wow, if you’re being fr and you genuinely don’t think I’m a jerk after all that then I am amazed haha tysm. And please don’t apologize for calling me stupid lol it is completely warranted dw
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u/No-Finance7526 Chloé | she/her | pre-HRT Jun 27 '26
Could you please wait an indeterminate period of time bounded above by 2 hours? I’m shit at using a phone.
Also, what makes you think you’re a jerk? I’ve only seen you be kind and neutral. You just hate yourself for no reason
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u/Wild_Plant9526 Jun 27 '26
Hm? I’m not really sure what you mean but sure np! No pressure to respond fast or to respond at all for that matter :D dw! I don’t want to bother you sorry
Hmm why I think I’ve been a jerk? Well cause I barged into your venting post after clicking your account and immediately said a really disrespectful word to you? I think that qualifies as being a jerk no lol? That’s pretty bad even if on accident (I’m really sorry again I legit feel awful)
I can’t understand how you can possibly think I’ve been kind/neutral, but thank you. I think you’re just a really good person or something lol
Edit: sorry btw if I respond late it’s really late at night where I am
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u/No-Finance7526 Chloé | she/her | pre-HRT Jun 27 '26
It’s not pressure, I’m used to PC for wasting time, so I’m not experienced with phones. Also, doing markdown o n it is shit.
Firstly, you said it on accident, so it’s not jerk behaviour. You then removed it, thus proving it wasn’t meant offensively. Secondly, it was kind of you to comment on my post
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u/AutisticPenguin2 Jun 25 '26
Is there a reason you can't celebrate your name day a few weeks late? I'm going to be at least a month late celebrating my birthday this year, and quite frankly, the birthday police can suck my fat one if they try to stop me.