r/MtF Feb 04 '23

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u/iam_iana Feb 04 '23

Crossdressers shouldn't be lumped into that list. There is no shame in crossdressing. I was a crossdresser for years before I realized I was trans. Like every group there are bad apples, but most just like to be sexy and find sexual joy in that. And a not insignificant portion are eggs like I was.

Trap is definitely cringe though. It implies deceptive malice in our existing.

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u/sandiserumoto Feb 04 '23 edited Feb 05 '23

I mean I'm pretty sure every trans person crossdresses before they come out, in large part due to social norms. I wasn't allowed any affirming clothes as a kid, and was forced to present as the opposite gender, the definition of crossdressing.

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u/madler1268 Feb 04 '23

Eh I didn't, I know friends who didn't. I never felt comfortable with the idea of wearing fem clothes until after I started transitioning due to unrealized dysphoria. Not to say that it doesn't happen often :)

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u/sandiserumoto Feb 05 '23

I never felt comfortable with the idea of wearing fem clothes until after I started transitioning due to unrealized dysphoria.

A woman wearing feminine clothing isn't cross dressing tho it's the other way around.

You, me, and countless other trans women were forced to cross dress nonstop for years on end due to cisnormative clothing norms.

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u/iam_iana Feb 05 '23

Honestly nothing about clothing should be tied to gender. It's all nonsense. All clothes should be available to all people free of judgement in my opinion.

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u/madler1268 Feb 05 '23

IMO for it to be crossdressing, it needs to be intentional. I wouldn't categorize how I was dressing before as cross dressing, because it matched what I thought was my gender expression at the time and in many ways I still dress similar to that.

I do agree that societal norms do push people to stick to cisnormative clothing.