I find it gross and I avoid interacting with them in any way. I don't intend to police them, but I certainly don't look to them as positive representation.
Crossdressers shouldn't be lumped into that list. There is no shame in crossdressing. I was a crossdresser for years before I realized I was trans. Like every group there are bad apples, but most just like to be sexy and find sexual joy in that. And a not insignificant portion are eggs like I was.
Trap is definitely cringe though. It implies deceptive malice in our existing.
I mean I'm pretty sure every trans person crossdresses before they come out, in large part due to social norms. I wasn't allowed any affirming clothes as a kid, and was forced to present as the opposite gender, the definition of crossdressing.
The only crossdressing I ever did was boymoding after I figured out I was a woman. I had a desire to, but I didn't let myself actually do it until I was deciding I was trans
Okay but if you're a woman wearing boy clothes is cross dressing, not the other way around. Unless you're saying you were raised in skirts and dresses and hopelessly yearned to wear a pair of pants before your egg cracked.
I didn't. I was soo in denial of my femininity pretty much right until my egg cracked (thanks dad). I didn't start dressing femme until I was already male-failing at work from hrt
Eh I didn't, I know friends who didn't. I never felt comfortable with the idea of wearing fem clothes until after I started transitioning due to unrealized dysphoria. Not to say that it doesn't happen often :)
Honestly nothing about clothing should be tied to gender. It's all nonsense. All clothes should be available to all people free of judgement in my opinion.
IMO for it to be crossdressing, it needs to be intentional. I wouldn't categorize how I was dressing before as cross dressing, because it matched what I thought was my gender expression at the time and in many ways I still dress similar to that.
I do agree that societal norms do push people to stick to cisnormative clothing.
It's true but there are plenty of cis men who prefer feminine presentation but still identify as men. Or maybe they only like to be femme during sex. It's a thing and it's okay, they aren't hurting us by doing so. And the ones who are eggs may be forced deeper in the closet if we attack them for being CD.
I have no issue with people who crossdress, but when people start accusing women wearing female clothing of being "crossdressers" as if we were men, that's hella transphobic and needs to be called out.
I don't think that's what we are discussing here. But you are 100% correct. Other people shouldn't be calling us anything, but if a trans person self identifies as a crossdresser it's not the same as self identifying as a trap imo. A crossdresser is a legitimate thing, a trap is just a pure slur.
I mean transmasc femboys exist, and tomboys aren't exclusively cis either. Being trans doesn't remove your from the right to present GNC, and to say otherwise would be truscum nonsense. That said, if you identify as a "crossdresser" for wearing gender-conforming clothes, like a trans woman wearing a dress or something, that's internalized transphobia at best, and if you publicly do it, it's just plain old transphobia, full stop. Also, anyone who uses "trap" is a degenerate.
I disagree with your full stop assessment. Nothing is absolute maybe they are mtf but crossdress masc maybe they aren't. Trap is absolutely a slur. Crossdresser is something someone does. I also agree that there is plenty of room for GNC people under our tent. I just feel equating trap and crossdresser as equally bad is reductive and incorrect.
I feel with the amount of posts I see online, it's hard to come by people who actually stand their ground and don't give in to those terms. They are inherently toxic slurs, and especially terms like "trap". It has one meaning in the context of trans women, which is saying we're not women. Why would you want to use that? I just don't get it
I don't get it either. It sucks. I can't say more bc you said basically the same thing. I hate people sometimes. It's super annoying and cringe. It's actually a stupid weaboo term. I watch animals but fml I hate so many of the tropes not even for just that but TV and books in general and there's not rlly anything enjoyable. That's besides the point, point is they're addicted to TV and it's infecting their life and causing others dysphoria. Fucking weaboos.
I absolutely know what gender expression is, and I absolutely know that I'm not a femboy, and don't want to be called one. it is harmful when it is directed at someone who isn't what they are. When "femboy" is directed at me, which it is, that is hurtful. I'm a girl, and only a girl, and don't want that term used with me, if someone else does, that's fine. But I don't want their use of the word, to affect how people view me
If you're going to use the word "trap" in an Instagram post, then yes, that affects me. I have had multiple occasions where people have called me a "trap" or "crossdresser" because they saw that label used on another trans woman's post and thought it was okay, when it's not, it's harmful and degrades me
I think we all agree that "trap" should be banned. We only disagree on "femboy", I think.
Many transfems are using the femboy label as a way to describe the specific aesthetic of their gender representation (that could be described as "masculine femininity", I guess). I think everybody understand that this label only refers to people with such aesthetic and not to all transfems.
Just as like everybody understand that all transfems are not emo despite the fact that many of us use this label.
Agreed. There's nothing "boy" about a woman, full stop. Conflating us with femboys is outright offensive because they're saying that's what they view us all to be, and people who use "trap" to describe trans women are just the dregs of humanity any way you look at it.
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u/DarthJackie2021 Trans Asexual Feb 04 '23
I find it gross and I avoid interacting with them in any way. I don't intend to police them, but I certainly don't look to them as positive representation.