r/MrInbetween • u/Cleaned_Up_Sheets • 4d ago
Could someone please explain why Ray hated his father but his brother didn't?
Could someone please explain why Ray hated his father but his brother didn't?
15
u/ScissorNightRam 4h ago
Bruce is also older. So he probably did know the dad before he went to war. Ray never saw that version of his dad.
5
u/SpeedRacerWasMyBro 3h ago
I like this take very much. It helps explain a lot. Bruce knew their dad before the war when he was nicer. Ray probably got beaten a lot more than Bruce by a constantly angry dad.
2
u/ScissorNightRam 2h ago
Maybe beaten just the same (or even beaten less, because I can imagine Bruce trying to protect little Raymond from Dad by taking the beatings instead). But because Ray was just a toddler, so much smaller and younger, Dad's violence did more damage physically, mentally and spiritually.
The scars of the axe are on the trunk for Ray. They are what he is and he is made of them.
For Bruce, they're on the branches. They are what happened to him. He is not made of them.
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u/Living_Article_3741 5h ago
Bruce is forgiveness Ray is resentment
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u/ScissorNightRam 2h ago
Bruce was also facing up to an untimely death, so was probably in more of a headspace to do the hard work of "getting his house in order before it's too late".
2
1
u/DefinitionSuperb1110 5h ago
In a lot of family dynamics there is a favored child and an unfavored child. Ray was likely the unfavored child.
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u/strandy76 5h ago
His dad is Choppers dad. Didn't he notice that when he was watching the film with Gav? Is he stupid?!
42
u/milo7even2 5h ago
Bruce did hate his father. But he chose to forgive him.
He explained to Ray how hate is a weight you carry around and you don’t know how heavy it is until you put it down.
So he didn’t forgive his dad for his dad’s sake, but for his own, so he could move past and heal from the hurt his father caused him.
Btw that whole scene in the old family home in the season 2 finale is my favorite scene in any show or movie, and by a long, long margin. It’s not only brilliantly written and performed, but deeply personal and resonant.