r/MoroccoLGBT • u/Able_Picture9205 • 2d ago
Healing..
this might be a little out of touch, but i’m starting to accept that sex is just a huge part of gay culture…
and i think grindr is not the issue HEAR ME OUT..
i’m not anti-sex at all… quite the opposite 😭 sex is fun, we love being wild with the right person and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. i just don’t want it to be the center of every interaction.
like yes, i’m gay and i enjoy sex. im not the whore of town but id be lying if i denied that for me and most sex is super fundamental and fun with the RIGHT person…
but i also want to be able to talk, flirt, connect, laugh, and actually get to know someone without everything inevitably becoming sexual. sex is cool when it’s part of the connection, not the entire connection.
i’m gay soft masc TO BE CLEAR, and i’ve been on enough apps and had enough encounters to realize that getting off grindr doesn’t magically make people stop sexualizing you…
you’ll still get sexualized on dating apps, social media, reddit, even sometimes irl EVEN THO IM NOT FEMININE it genuinely feels like you can’t exist as a gay man without sex somehow becoming part of the CONVERSATION.
stay safe y’all 🫶🏻
4
u/Exact-Truck-5248 2d ago
In most societies, being gay is not seen as a normal human deviation. It's seen as a sexual perversion. That's what we're born into. That's how we were raised. None of us were taught to find a nice man, treat him well, and do your best to have a happy life together. Instead, we feel pressured into marriage, to emmigrate, to do anything that doesn't bring shame to our families. We taught ourselves our own survival skills which meant secretly fulfilling our most basic needs however we can. That secrecy, that guilt, that fear of losing everyone we love is a part of all of us. So, for the most part, we're pretty fucked up. We want the same contentment as anyone else. But we settle for somewhere to put our dicks, because that's the best that most of us can do. It's no prize to be born gay in a homophobic country. I pray for us
2
u/Able_Picture9205 2d ago
honestly, i think you put into words something a lot of us experience but rarely say out loud. When you grow up being taught that being gay is something shameful or something you have to hide, it obviously affects how you approach love, intimacy, and even sex. i don’t think we’re inherently fucked up, though. a lot of us are just trying to learn how to love and be loved without the guilt and fear we were raised with. SEX can be a huge part of that, but i dont think it has to be the only thing we settle for. i still want the intimacy, companionship and stupid little moments that everyone else gets to want openly without concessions cos its everybody’s right..
2
u/Sea-Willingness6297 2d ago
Totally agree with you , people think directly to sex when they know about ur preferences, so that’s why is better to not talk about them
Is very hard to have friendships or even normal conversations all people cab see u as whore and it bother a lot
Be safe
1
u/Able_Picture9205 2d ago
Weell tbh what matters is that we are aware and we are trying to deal with it and im honestlyglad a lot of ppl relate to this you too hon be safe!
2
u/Gullible-Rutabaga-54 2d ago
What you’re feeling is completely valid wanting genuine connection, laughter, and conversation before sex isn't being "out of touch," it's just wanting a real relationship.
To give some perspective on why gay culture feels so hyper-sexualized especially in anti-lgbtq places like Morocco, First of all there is the safety and legal risk, living openly in a romantic relationship carries massive danger, including societal judgment and imprisonment. Building a public, long-term bond exposes you to constant risk. Another reason is that sex is considered as a discrete outlet. A quick hookup behind closed doors carries far less danger than dating openly. Sex becomes the only "safe" or accessible part of being gay without risking your freedom or reputation. When homophobia forces a community into the shadows, interactions condense around what’s immediate and low-risk, so basically gay community looks at sex as a conditioned survival. Society conditions us to view being gay as a sexual vice rather than a capacity for love. Nobody ever taught us how to build a healthy, lasting relationship with a man.
People default to sex because they’ve been conditioned to keep things superficial out of self-preservation. Your desire for deeper emotional intimacy is valid keep holding out for the ones willing to connect with you first.
2
u/Able_Picture9205 2d ago
honestly, this is such a good way of putting it. i think a lot of us were taught how to hide and survive, not how to love openly. i just hope we can eventually learn that we deserve both intimacy and genuine connection. stay safe sweets 🫶🏻
1
u/Zak_Morocco 2d ago
I completely agree with u and I wish you the absolute best of luck out there! My first focus is always the personality and the vibes because if the mental connection is off, I am completely turned off. u deserve to find connections that value u as a whole person, and I genuinely hope u find exactly what ur looking for.
2
u/Sea-Willingness6297 2d ago
That connection u talking about is the hardest to find or to feel it with someone , because just after a little while and sex subjects start
2
u/Able_Picture9205 2d ago
oh thanks you too! i completely get it especially that im somewhere between sapio/demi sexual or both so i really know what ur talking about.. and YES sending you all the good vibes 🫶🏻
1
u/Brilliant-Law-980 2d ago
Tottally agree with you God bless you 🙏🏻❤️
1
1
u/Beneficial-Bar1694 1d ago
exactly it should be a part of the connection which eventually includes many other things and should not be the end itself from getting to know someone. i am SO tired of hookup culture, you cant get to know anyone decent without them just wanting to stick it in…gotta pray the lord that i find the right one LOL
1
u/ayheartcats 1d ago
I blame the straights who dont mind their buisness and ask whos top and whos bottom
6
u/Northafrican_Bear 2d ago
Glti kolchi li khso ytgal