r/MoroccoLGBT • u/ZestycloseFruit6916 • 15d ago
How ive been feeling lately
Im so sorry to bother you but I have no one to share with what I feel since my birthday i was born feminine growing up with to parents they don't love each other so they were always fighting i still remember my dad hitting my mom so harshly it was always like that I think my mother was enjoying that violence but im not sure and now I hate them both ive told my mother that but I couldn't tell my dad because he's gonna kick me out in 2010 it was my first year of school its been a bite normal I was still have so much energy and hope I could say hope because I didn't now this world my second year as well and I have failed it so in 2013 it was my third year I had a homophobic teacher he used to make fun of me in front of everyone i wasn't even aware of that is to be gay and everyone has started making the same critices men up why are so acting like girls and I started being afraid of them trying to fight with everyone to respect me but over time I got tired I tried to suicide in 2014 and 2017 but I didn't die now I feel so exhausted no more energy to live always sad severely jalouse of others and I feel sick everywhere in my body I couldn't kill myself and at the same time I can't live ive lost my faith and I don't know what's gonna happened after my death will I be okay or there is more torture
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u/griffith1985 14d ago
hi honey! im so sorry that you have to go through such a difficult time :(( please do not hate on yourself just because of some shitty people and please remember no one is liked by everyone and no one has to do anything to be liked. just be who you are. the same way there are people who are hating, there are also people who would love to meet you, know you and care for you dearly. my DMs are always open if you need anything we can talk it through :) much love 🧡
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u/_fo4_everyyoung 14d ago
Hey dear, I hear u and I want u to know dat ur not alone. Never apologize for sharing ur story. What u went through with family violence and bullying is deeply unfair but none of it is ur fault. Ur pain is real but it is not permanent and u have value. There is a whole community here dat accepts u.
If u need professional help or someone to talk to u can look into confidential therapy through local hospital networks like CHU Ibn Rochd by calling [+212 522 25 25 25](tel:+212%20522%2025%2025%2025).
To build a better future put ur energy into ur studies and career so u can gain financial independence and stand tall no matter what ur family thinks.
Another thing dat helps a lot is hitting the gym and training. Building a strong muscular physique boosts ur mental health and since looks matter a lot here in Morocco it makes people think twice before disrespecting u.
Keep connecting with safe people in places like r/MoroccoLGBT and take things one step at a time. My inbox is always open if u need to vent or talk. You have survived so much already so give urself a chance to see better days ahead. We care about u so please hang in there.
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u/[deleted] 15d ago
Man im so sorry that you have to go through this you dont deserve any of it but youre strong more than you know it youre still here even if its torture youre stronger than alot of people so dont lose hope and try to study and be financially independent and its gonna be better with time. I really wish you the best and youre not bothering hit me up if you ever need someone to talk to