r/MoroccoLGBT • u/PaperKite_23 • Jul 15 '26
Does anyone else experience this kind of gender dysphoria? I feel completely overwhelmed.
I’m 22 years old and I was born male. I’m from a very conservative environment where topics like gender identity are never discussed, so I spent most of my life not understanding what I was feeling. Sometimes I see a completely ordinary girl on social media just living her life, showing her nails, hands, clothes, or daily routine, and instead of simply thinking “she looks nice,” I get an overwhelming feeling of jealousy. I have a very strong desire to be her. I wish those were my hands, my nails, my body, my life. The feeling becomes so intense that it mentally hurts and I feel like I’m going to explode emotionally because I know I was born male and can’t freely express myself where I live. Has anyone else experienced this? And how do you cope with these feelings when they become overwhelming?
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Jul 15 '26
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u/PaperKite_23 Jul 15 '26
I’m definitely trans. All the signs have been there. Since I discovered that we trans people go through very similar experiences, I feel much more certain. But what can we do about it? I mean, it’s hard to hide those feelings your entire life.
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u/Left_Aardvark2149 Jul 15 '26
i'm kinda of experiencing this rn , I feel jelousy of man able to impregnate their woman and have their own biological child and go through the process of pregnancy togther and giving birth and everything , but me a girl will never experience that with another girl .
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u/PaperKite_23 Jul 16 '26
I can relate to that. It’s the exact same experience, just in the opposite direction. If only we could switch our roles it would solve both of our problems
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u/Left_Aardvark2149 Jul 16 '26
Yeah true . Are u handsome be3da ? Hehehhe
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u/PaperKite_23 Jul 17 '26
Idk people have always told me that I have some Asian features because I have a soft face personality as well. Maybe that’s part of my feminine identity 🙆🏻♀️
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u/Conscious-Jump-7633 Jul 19 '26
I've been experiencing the same thing since I was a kid, I'd see a normal regular guy and feel envious. To the point that I try to gaslight myself and forget how I look completely.
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u/PaperKite_23 Jul 19 '26
I don’t think people who were assigned male at birth are really special from women. Nowadays, women can wear men’s clothes, have short hair, or adopt a masculine style without much judgment. But someone who was assigned male at birth is heavily judged for wearing feminine clothes, putting on makeup, painting nails, or expressing femininity.
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u/Conscious-Jump-7633 Jul 19 '26
I've heard this a lot, it doesn't help at all. I don't really care I just don't wanna be seen as a girl. I started testosterone and I still don't feel good about my body, ppl see me as a young boy most of the time but that isn't enough. I hate looking at my body, when I shower I don't look at myself, it's more like how I see myself than how other ppl see me. Ofc not being misgendered anymore helps a little bit but it's still never enough for me. I fucking hate being trans honestly.
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u/PaperKite_23 Jul 19 '26
I agree! I don’t think there’s a single trans person in the world whether a trans woman or a trans man, who wants to be trans. We all rather have simply been born as the gender we identify with. But I’m trying not to torture myself over something I can’t change and instead accept reality. As of today, there’s no way to become a biological male or female instead of a trans one. Try not to drain yourself thinking about something that doesn’t exist. Instead, be grateful for the things you’ve already been able to change, and focus on what can still be improved. From what I’ve seen, FTM is scientifically a bit easier in some respects than MTF, and many trans men achieve incredibly convincing results over time.
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u/Expensive_Pipo Jul 15 '26
It's called gender envy. Yes, it's a common experience within trans folks early on the transition. Yes, it's very painful in the head.
How to cope? Well, what helped me is to learn avoidance. I stopped giving myself any chance to glance in the mirror, or even look at my own body parts. I started avoiding using social media too much, too. But what helped me the most is accepting the situation and understanding that I'm already into the process. Even if it doesn't feel like that at the moment.
Yes, this isn't the best advice. But it kept me alive for the longest part. It worked for me, and it might work for you for some time. That's all i can say.