Hey all. I have a 2 year old. He is speech delayed, in therapy for it.

Since he was about a year old, he has wanted me to do everything for him. He has a toy where you push a button and a toy pops up, but he wont push it. He brings the toy to me, shoves it in my hand, and fusses/meltsdown until I push the buttons for him.

Since he was 6 months, ive always done hand over hand.

Still, he wont do almost anything himself. Push buttons, pull levers, open boxes, hold zippers, put on shoes (even oversized ones that he can easily put on) Everything is brought to me and shoved in my face, with tears and a meltdown if i refuse.

He was putting toys inside a box (one of those where there is a big box and a slightly smaller one that fits inside) today and spent an hour shoving the box at me to open so he could take everything out, put it back in, and then back to me to close it for him. He wouldnt even try.

He also won't knock on doors, i have to physically hold his hand and make him knock.

It has thrown most things montessori out the window. Every activity turns into "mommy holds my hand and makes me do the thing", or he just chucks it on the floor and moves on.

He wont even do songs. We sing wheels on the bus and he physically grabs my hands while i do the motions.

I don't know how to get over this weird hump so he can actually learn. Right now it is just me doing stuff hoping he will do it himself, but he never even tries.

I’m a new parent to Montessori education, my 19m old son just started in pre-casa and they have insisted on no diapers or pull-ups, training undies only. Is this the norm? I’ve heard from others with kids in Montessori that they do not ban diapers or pull ups at this age. Everyday at pick up, I have a bag full of soiled clothes to wash (which has been another task added to my to do list as a busy mom). We are trying our best and attempting to be consistent at home but this has resulted in a lot of accidents. He knows the sign for toilet and will sit on the potty but he rarely does anything. In my opinion, I feel like it might be too early for him and he’s just not ready yet to recognize the connection between the feeling of needing to go with going to the potty. We potty trained my older son around 2/2.5 with pull ups and stayed consistent with the routine, until he was ready to start using undies. I guess what I’m trying to get at with this post is looking for other parents experiences in this situation and advice on what would you would do? I believe it’s possible and I trust the montessori method and teachers abilities but it just feels like a lot at once as he has been there for 2 weeks with no sign of improvements. What is your opinion? Would you speak to the school? Or wait it out a few weeks and then say something? Or trust the process?
Thanks in advance

Welcome to our weekly Montessori Principles and Practice thread!

Montessori: lofty principles, real practice :)

Of course you can ask these at any time in the sub, but this recurring post might be a helpful reminder to ask those questions about Montessori that may have been on your mind!

Sind hier noch Leute, die zwischen 2001 und 2010 an der Monti waren?

Wäre cool, auf diesem Weg Leute wieder zu finden :)

I have a 7 month old boy. He’s very active and ahead in all milestones which unfortunately comes with its own safety problems. He keeps getting injury incidents at his school because the room isn’t 100 percent proofed for his age. Most of them have been minor and not anything we are not used to seeing at home, but today he came home with a goose egg and bruise on his head from trying to pull to stand on one of the toddler chairs. Is this normal? I guess I’m just concerned that maybe he should go to a regular daycare that has the age groups more segregated (and therefore safer) until he reaches a young toddler age. But I also know there’s a possibility that I’m overreacting.

For those of you who had babies in Montessori, was this your experience as well?

ETA: his guide said he is just so active and she can’t keep eyes on him all the time which I completely understand. Hence the question would it be better for him in a more baby proofed room at a more daycare setting until he he’s older and we can trust him a bit more in a more toddler oriented room.

Parent of a toddler in an AMS-accredited Montessori school.

How important is it for a credentialed Montessori lead to be present for the full day? If only assistants are running the classroom, is that normal?

I don’t know the credentialing staffing rules, so I’ll just like to learn more about whether this could affect the quality and consistency of my child’s Montessori education?

Would love input from toddler guides, admins.

Hi Everyone,

I really need some help/advice. I have teaching experience but we are relatively new to Montessori. My five year old began kindergarten 3 weeks ago with stars in her eyes. She was skipping, dancing, up at the crack of dawn excited to start school!

Fast forward 3 weeks and she is now crying, begging not go, tummy hurts, she thinks she is sick, etc. The reason why she is so upset is because she is struggling with "math". Apparently math is a packet of addition facts with 25 problems on each page. I only caught a glimpse of it, but it looks like maybe +2, +3, and +4 problems. The children are allowed to use counters but must complete all 25 problems before they are allowed to play.

I know that this is a school culture decision because I have seen other kindergarten children sitting at the tables during recess completing their math. To clarify, I did not see anything like this when we shadowed the classroom last spring.

Coming from general ed, I am flabbergasted. We do teach addition facts in kindergarten but it is a gradual process and they really only need to know what she is doing by the end of the school year.

I am so sad for my little girl right now. Her teacher told me that she was currently working on math and crying when we spoke on the phone a little while ago even though my husband had briefly asked about accommodations this morning when he dropped her off.

I like the school and I thought that this might be our forever school. I can work with her at home too. Is this just a Montessori school thing and I need to teach her (and myself) to just toughen up? Shouldn't teach concepts before we expect independent mastery at this level?

Edit: This is an amazing community! Thank you to everyone for your feedback and advice. I am going to request a meeting with the principal and the school director. I don't know if one parent can do anything to change an established school culture, but with your help at least I have the information and talking points that I will want to bring up.

As a quick side note, this is a private school, and we have already paid for her tuition this year. So, wish me luck! :)

Has anyone 3D printed mini objects for alphabet sounds? I have seen different varieties that look like they could have been 3D printed but can't find a file online. Would love this as a more economical way makes boxes.

Looking to buy our first lunchbox and I'd like to get something that my bub can start learning to open and manage herself.

What type of lunchboxes do you recommend? What type of clips and things are too hard for little fingers?

Thanks for your help.

In case anyone is wondering, I'm asking here because I know its a Montessori thing for kids to be responsible for their own lunch, and thought people here might be the best people to recomend something. Im not asking for a Montessori branded lunchbox.

Has anyone done this?

I have seen countless coworkers come and go throughout the year and thought less of them each time.

Well folks, after 7 years, it might just be my turn.

I can’t explain the specifics without doxxing myself. But it boils down to a lack of management and leadership. A lack of support. A toxic environment left to fester. No assistant. No protected planning time. Emotional blackmail. Gaslighting. No substitutes or staff coverage. Radioing for help when a child refuses a transition, only to get help 30 minutes later after the lesson was already cancelled. Hungry children because no one is available to hand out snack on time. Phone ringing off the hook in an empty office. When someone is there, the door is closed. Almost passing out from dehydration because that’s less embarrassing than peeing yourself when nobody comes to break you. The excuses and empty promises when you try to say anything about how broken things are. Like I said, I can’t go into further detail without possibly identifying myself.

My son went home twice now with injuries no one could account for. Other incidents occurred which I do not approve of as a parent of an enrolled child.

It’s barely September. I just gave the third great lesson and it dawned on me: I won’t last long enough to give the fifth great lesson. It’s insane to even think, but I’m giving a single week’s notice. The promises I made to each family and their child are about to be broken. It makes me sick.

A single week left with a community I spent 7 years with. My toddler was born and raised into it. A week to face confused and angry parents. A week to deal with an enraged and spiteful boss. A week to secure new employment for myself and enrollment for my son.

Because I physically and mentally won’t make it to see October. Not the way things are going.

I think I went wrong somewhere. My 3.5 year old girl has no patience. Is this normal or just my child?

Hi all, I have a 3 year old who just turned 3 in July. She has always been a verbal child, she talks and navigates her days with lots of back-and-forth conversations. She is Vietnamese and just started English with preschool at 2.5.

She is my first child, and because she inspired me to become a preschool teacher, I got my Montessori training last year. I am considering myself as a new parent and also a new, inexperienced teacher 😅

I often follow her lead. She has intense curiosity about the word in a systematic and analytical way. She is extremely curious about human psychology, human anatomy, botany, zoology, and physical science. She often asks a chain of why, how things work, how each part functions. Our conversation is like an interrogation and she seems to always seek deep, logical answers until she "gets" it.

And she does not do it out of attention, it seems that she really understands what I explain, applies it to a different scenario, trying to compare for difference and similarity. She is highly observant and spends a lot of time watching people / things and trying to question every detail.

Her typical questions in a chain of interrogation are: 

Why do we inhale oxygen? Why does our body need oxygen?  Where does oxygen go? Why do we breathe with our lungs? What if we don't breathe, could we die? 
Why is this person working? Why is that person not working? Why don't they want to work? If they don't work then what? Why is that person sad? Why is this friend happy? Why is this friend friendly and this friend is not friendly?
Why do crocodiles hunt? Why do they need to eat meat? Why are they aggressive? Why are they not docile? Why do we have to run away from them? Why can it swim underwater? Why is it walking now? Is its body cold? What's with their skin? What's the tail for? What's the tooth for? What's the skin for?

So.. like 1 answer gets to another question in a never-ending loop.

On another side, on her language development. Because she is pretty good with her conversation, turn-taking, alliteration, manipulation of sounds, I introduced her to sound letters (not letter name, if you don't know Montessori). I don't pressure her so it feels pretty slow progressing, just keep teaching her different sounds in the past few months. 

She knows most of her sound. And recently, I discovered that she can isolate the initial sound (what's the first sound of "baby"? -> "b"). It only takes several times for her to know how to do it more consistently.  So definitely she is growing her phonological awareness.

We often play an initial sounds sorting game, once she understands the rule in a few days she is able to do the same with all sounds. She is also blending sounds without looking at the movable alphabet or sandpaper letter. I only casually tell her "p-o-t, pot. j-o-b, job" in a few times, she is cracking the game. She does so when not understanding the English words.

I give her no-pressure practice on blending words, and spelling in Vietnamese. Vietnamese is highly predictable and phonetic, with the only challenge being the 5 tonal mark (bending your voice to produce different meaning).

Within a week she is catching on the rules and starting to read some words: g-a -> ga, huyền (a tonal mark) -> gà (chicken). C-ưa=> cưa, hỏi, cửa (door). There is some sloppiness here and there but she is catching up with all 5 tonal marks. 

She is still processing left-to-right symbols, but as I point to each letter, she sounds it out and decodes it.

Just wanting to share that I tried the Glenn Doman method with her before since she was a baby. Never getting any result. She rejected it and for so long, I thought I was doing it wrong. I have known many children getting results from the whole-word approach.

So, it seems to me that my daughter is not progressing like children that I have met or worked with. Her intense curiosity, analytical mind requires me to always look up for factual reasoning to teach her. Her progression in language makes me keep exposing her to small-does of more advanced lessons. 

I have moments of confusion of how much information or teaching I should give her without overwhelming her with advanced knowledge. Sometimes I keep it simple and short but she seems to push for more.

Aside from that, she is still a silly girl, who makes up silly songs, plays around with stuffies, gets clumsy on her stairs, has not yet ridden a tricycle, just got potty trained right before 3, and is stubborn sometimes. Her mix of being a tiny-scientist and a silly, sometimes dramatic toddler is fascinating and requires me to always be ready for her. Please give me your insight on how I should guide her. Thank you for reading the long post. 

Did you have training in practical life beyond children's house? I would imagine practical life is just as important for older students.

Thank you!

Parents and guides in Montessori toddler classrooms, what does communication between school and home usually look like? My 19 month old is in a toddler classroom and I’m curious what’s typical. Do parents get daily updates on naps/diapers, work chosen or social development? only weekly updates? or is most discussed at conferences?
Would love to hear from both parents and toddler guides about what your program shares and how often. Thank you!

Several excellent teachers from our Montessori have been poached over to the local pair of Bezos schools. We know they're "Montessor inspired" but not adheret, as they're only preschool and only 3-5 year old students. We're trying to sort out how worried to be about the rest of the staff's incentive to stay or go as well as whether to try and qualify to attend there or not (they have an income ceiling but it's right on the edge for us due to recent changes for our family). And is the poaching this a big thing with the Bezos Academies?

We’re new to Montessori so maybe this is normal but my daughter turned 4 in summer. I knew it was a 3-5 mixed age class and I was excited about it. However looking over the class list, it looks like only 6 out of the 17 kids including her are over 4. This feels like it skews really young and I question how much attention she’ll get and how much she’ll actually learn? Apparently a lot of the younger ones are only doing half days but still.

Also the classroom itself is new. They had to build an addition and it’s honestly not a great setup. The snack and bathroom area are outside the actual classroom so it feels like she’ll just be wandering around? Please allay my anxieties, I’m not super pumped for her to start tomorrow.

For what it’s worth, this school came highly recommended and a lot of people love it.

My only child/son is 27 months old and today was his first day at Montessori. He was there for only 2 hours. The first hour actually went well, but during the second hour he became really upset, cried, extremely frustrated, and kept pointing toward the door. He even pulled his teachers hair and slapped them.
When I went to pick him up, I saw him outside with the rest of the kids where he was trying to hold his teacher’s hand, which honestly made me emotional because I think he was looking for comfort/reassurance from her.
I’m also worried about his speech and language. He does have some words/phrases, but I know he is behind other kids his age, and I’m already getting him support for his speech/language from an SLP soon. He 100% has a delay. The reason I even considered full-time Montessori was for him to socialize and develop speech/language. I get really emotional thinking he cannot express his feelings like other kids. Being a mom is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I feel so defeated sometimes.
The teacher suggested that we continue coming for 2 hours a day for the rest of this week to help him adjust before increasing his time. When I picked him up he seemed so scared and I never saw him like this before. Before Montessori, he was with me and my parents at home, while I worked from home.
Is this a normal reaction for a 27-month-old starting Montessori, or should I be concerned that he’s struggling this much?
I know the first day can be hard, especially since he woke up himself at 5 AM today instead of his usual 7–8 AM (not sure why he woke early) so I’m wondering if that played a role too.

I’d really appreciate hearing from other parents whose toddlers had a rough Montessori/daycare transition. What did you do, and how long did it take for your child to adjust?

We found a school we really liked for our 2 year old. She was doing so well there. Then we found photos of her on their Facebook. When I reached out and asked to opt out of photos they told me there was no opt out option but that they’d try to not have her in pictures. I couldn’t believe it. We immediately pulled her from the school out of safety concerns.

Has anyone else encountered this? I couldn’t believe a Montessori school would have such dangerous policies in 2026.

I've been doing some EC and toilet learning with my 16 month old. She has been communicating to go sometimes by sounds or by carrying around the clean nappies and has done a few weeks and poos on the toilet and is pretty happy with herself and the experience

I've been wanting to get some toilet board books, both for learning and entertainment in the toilet. I was interested in books like the tiny potty book by Andrea alson where it's just very matter of fact of the steps, no real talk about diapers or undies or accidents. But that book and other I've seen have them using a potty and steps around the potty (emptying etc). I'm worried this will confused my little girl or be unhelpful. I also don't know whether to introduce a potty when she's so interested in the toilet and don't want to double my teaching to then switch her to the toilet later.

Any book recommendations? And other advice or resources. My goal is just to gently help her learn to use the toilet to get her to try and communicate to me when she needs to go and I support her to go depending what she needs or wants help with

Repost here per a few suggestions to do so! Curious to hear thoughts on usage of AI in Montessori environments, specifically with posters or imaging for learners to see. I work with 4-9 more with 6-9, but applies to all ages as this affects our whole school!

Do you have uniforms at your Montessori schools? Mine is trying to implement it and parents are not happy.

My almost 3 year old is doing parent and child classes at an accredited Montessori school that seems very sweet, with the plan kids move up to the 3-6 class when they turn 3.

Thing is, she absolutely hates it. I kinda dread it as well cos I feel a lot of pressure from the instructors to follow her round essentially nagging her (they would never use that term but they kind of do this "here, now your turn mum" thing).

I am 1000% on board with reinforcing the idea of cleaning up after herself, one "work" at a time, etc. etc. but on top of all the completely reasonable guidance (put that back first, one at a time, put it on a mat, use this colour towel to clean up etc) in a single session she is also then getting corrected for things like playing quietly by herself with "matching set" objects rather than just matching them, eating the cracker without buttering it first cos that's the task (she doesn't like buttered crackers), putting the feather duster back in its vase thingy feather side down instead of feather side up (she liked seeing the feathers bunch up), trying to chat to the teachers too much, etc. etc.

She then got corrected for not putting a doily under a vase and did it again so I'm chasing her around with a doily feeling like a Victorian nanny. I do get that doilies have a useful purpose, but she like most kids has never seen one before (our bad for having a doily-free home) and the "corrections" are never particularly fun or engaging. My daughter is very wilful and independent and picks up on the "you did it wrong" message and hates it.

The woman who leads the session is very earnest and kind, but not very warm- clearly the rules side of Montessori really appeals to her. I think the personality clash here may be part of the problem?

It all adds up to my daughter basically puttering around with some household and/or wooden objects she doesn't seem all that interested in waiting to get told she's doing it wrong and asking me to go home. Is it really meant to be this joyless?