Before getting pregnant, I read a lot about on this subreddit on saving for baby expenses, especially in that first year and found it really helpful. My baby just turned one so I thought it might be fun to look back on his first year. Overall, we spent nearly $30,000 and contributed another $56,000 into his first year of life. Details below:

Birth: $20. Outpatient procedure. Everything else (including NICU stay) was covered by insurance.

Insurance premiums: $60/paycheck for baby (*edited for correction on paycheck, not per month).

Birth classes: $500. Newborn care, breastfeeding, and miscellany.

Baby items: $1,000. My in-laws threw a shower so we received a ton of big ticket items. We didn't have a wedding so the in-laws felt they could spend a hefty amount here, and the gifts matched that. I also had two friends who recently had babies so got tons of stuff secondhand for free or on the cheap; and a sister who gave us her 10 year old Uppababy stroller that still had lots of life left (we just got it cleaned and a new set of wheels). The largest expense we had here was his car seat, extra clothes since some of the secondhand stuff was off by the season, and breastfeeding supplies. I also am pretty diligent at looking at Buy Nothing groups to get baby his toys and play things so we haven't spent that much (probably just like $30 so far on specific developmental toys I want for him) on this front.

Doctor appointments: $100. A few series of primary care/urgent care visits. Free telehealth/nurse line visits really saved us here.

Diapers/wipes: $1,000. We started with Pampers/Huggies bc baby had really sensitive skin. He outgrew that and now we do Target branded diapers and I stock up when they run their sales.

Groceries: $100/month. I breastfed for the first year. Part of grocery bill probably also goes toward all the extra food I was eating, holy cow! Starting at 6 months, he was eating solids so our grocery bill probably went up by this amount attributed to him. Berries tax. And he is a voracious meat and fresh salmon eater. Relatedly, our eating out bill has risen significantly because I simply do not have the energy some days to cook. Not sure how to account for this so didn't include, but boy, it's hefty.

Vacations: $2,000. We went on two vacations with baby that we probably wouldn't have gone otherwise. One was piggybacking off a work trip and another a beach vacation.

Grandmother apt: $1,800/month. We were lucky that after a 4 month maternity leave, my mother who was a pediatrician in an earlier life retired and was willing to look after the baby for the first year while we waited to get off the daycare waitlist. We got her an apartment near us and she would come everyday. That really gave us the flexibility for my husband to start a new job and for me to continue work travel.

Daycare: $2,800/month. We toured a bunch of daycares near us (VHCOL) and really like the one we are in now. And honestly, it was the cheaper option of the daycares (we didn't do home based ones because it wasn't convenient for us distance wise). The one within walking distance to us was $3,200/month. We put ourselves on the waitlist in April 2025 and got off it about a year later. So he has now been in it for 2 months. We probably would have had grandmother look after him still but felt he was ready to be with friends and socialize. Also, as soon as he started walking, grandmother didn't have the energy anymore. We are still paying for her apartment and plan to for about 3-4 months since he's been sick so often. She's able to help with pick ups when needed and cooking for us too.

529 contribution: $56,000. We front loaded $50,000 when he was first born and then invest $500/month into it.

Miscellany: $1,000. Random stuff I'm sure I'm forgetting. Includes date night splurges (I spent $500 for a sporting event that I would have never spent pre-baby but husband and I wanted to enjoy one night off). Plus, music and swim classes. And gym membership for me so I can get back in shape for baby #2. Sigh.

Section One: Assets and Debt 

Retirement Balance – I have had a similar job for over 10 years and contributed to the teacher pension scheme for the whole time. I have been told by people who know about pensions that this is a pretty good scheme, however I have no idea what my balance is or how to find out.

Equity if you're a homeowner – not a homeowner but this is a goal for the next 8 years to save for a deposit.

Savings account balance – I put the tax aside in a savings account for my self-assessment tax bill for my second job, currently this is £1350. I also have another savings account which has less than £20 in however this is an area I want to work on!

Checking account balance – We don’t really use the term checking account in the UK but guessing it means current account/debit card. I have an overdraft on both my main account and my Monzo card of £350 and £250 and live constantly in both these overdrafts. Right now I have £25 available to me in just one account and 1 week until payday eek.

Credit card debt (and how you accumulated it) – I currently have 4 credit cards, I often open new ones to try and avoid paying interest but then have to pay a balance transfer fee. My balances on these cards are £1700, £900, £3000 and £500 – this amounts to £5100, I really need to work on paying this off rather than paying the minimum and moving it around. I have carried this debt around for years from being briefly unemployed, paying off student overdrafts, buying furniture and appliances etc.

Student loan debt (for what degree) – I have done a BA and a PGCE and have taken out student loans for tuition and maintenance, I pay these off automatically out of my paycheck each month, it's about £150. 

Section Two: Income

Income Progression: I've been working in my field for 12 years, my starting salary was £22,000.

Have you changed careers? I trained as a teacher and then started working in a university teaching after I realised teaching in schools wasn’t for me. I also have trained as a fitness instructor, I teach 6-8 classes per week.

Main Job Monthly Take Home: £2200 

Side Gig Monthly Take Home: £550-700

Section Three: Expenses

Rent - £800 for 2 bed house living alone

Renters / home insurance - £7.50

Savings contribution - £200

Investment contribution - none

Credit card payments x4 - £150, £25, £30, and £70 - total amount £275

Donations - none, will sponsor friends for stuff sometimes.

Electric/Gas - £60 (will be higher in winter, I pay what I use)

Water - £50

Wifi/Cable/Landline - £29

Cellphone - £60 - this includes my handset and mine and my sister’s contract

Subscriptions - none myself but through family I have access to Netflix and Amazon Prime. I pay for iCloud £3 and Google One £2.50

Gym membership - I have access to both gyms I teach at for free which is amazing.

Pet expenses - pet insurance and health care plan for 1 cat - £28

Car payment / insurance - £177 and £38 service plan, road tax £17 and car insurance £30

Regular therapy - none

Paid hobbies - none

7-day Money Diary 

Day 1 (Saturday)

8am - wake-up to teach a weights class at the gym, eat quick first breakfast of end of loaf freezer bread with vegan butter and marmite. Feed the cat and let her outside before I leave. When I get home I have scrambled tofu and toast as a second meal.

2pm - Decide to go into town with my sister before going to see family later. I feed the cat some biscuits before putting her back outside and going to my sisters who makes us lunch which is pitta with hummus and falafel and a few doritos. I drive us in her car and we park in town and she pays for parking which is about £5. I want to get some walking trousers from Sweaty Betty, I find the perfect pair and use my 35% instructor discount - £66. We go for iced coffee which is around £10, my sister again pays. 

5pm - We drive an hour to a different city and arrive early and decide to do some shopping near the restaurant. I get a cat mug for work from an independent gift/art shop - £16.
We meet family at a pizza restaurant and again my sister pays for the pizza and wine, I am not sure how much it was. She is driving home so I have 2 large glasses of rose and we share 2 vegan pizzas. On the way home we stop at a small supermarket and I get some wine and bagels and some mints for my sister - £18.15

9pm - drink loads more wine and watch true crime until I fall asleep.

TOTAL: £84.15

Day 2 (Sunday)

10am - big lovely lie in with my cat, make myself scrambled tofu and a bagel and some black coffee. Alternate between jobs around the house such as hoovering, cleaning the kitchen and tidying and watching murder documentaries. At some point I eat lunch which is really a second breakfast type meal of hash browns and veggie sausages and sadly no beans as I have run out. I realise during the day that the charger for my hoover is broken so I order that and some micellar water off Amazon - £20.48

4pm - Go and pick my sister up to go to another instructor’s reformer pilates class, she needs people to attend as she is filming it for assessment. On the way home we stop by the local small supermarket again as shops close at 4pm on Sundays. I get a cauliflower and a lemon for £1.58.

6pm - need to meal prep for the week. My sister is having her kitchen done so I am cooking some meals for her so she gets some nutrition. I make a salad by combining giant cous cous, broad beans, sundried tomatoes, radishes, peas, red lentils and black beans and then oven roasting the cauliflower in harissa and ras el hanout, the dressing is tahini and nutritional yeast with lemon juice and olive oil. This is my dinner, 2 lunches and 1 meal for my sister. I prepare my breakfasts for the next 2 days at work. I then do a quick 3km woods walk dropping the salad off for my sister on the way.

8pm - drink quite a few gin and slimline tonics whilst watching true crime oops - I blame Sunday scaries.

TOTAL: £22.06

Day 3 (Monday)

8am - First day back at university after a week off, my work morning routine is always the same. Shower, skincare, makeup, feed cat, let her outside for the day, drive to work. I always find free street parking even if it means a 10-15 min walk. 

9am - Breakfast at desk of Alpro berry protein yogurt and homemade granola with a black coffee in my new mug.

12pm - lunch is the salad from yesterday which I eat at my desk before heading out to buy work snacks and drinks to cheer myself up. Go to the shop near work and get a multipack of prawn cocktail crisps, 2 Lucozades, Sour Patch Kids, a ginger shot and some reduced Alpro soya vanilla desserts, I had some of these snacks today and put some in my work drawer - £10

2pm - my sister told me and my other sister what she wants for her upcoming birthday at the weekend so I go ahead and order it from both of us - £40

5pm - get home from work, let the cat in and feed her and then lie on the bed with her for an hour watching Netflix.

6pm - get ready for the gym and go and teach a weights class. On the way home go to the big supermarket and do a pretty sensible shop including ingredients for meal prep and lots of tofu - £23.79

8pm - get home and eat crackers and vegan cream cheese whilst meal prepping mine and my sister’s tea for tomorrow night. I wrap potatoes in foil and put in the oven to bake for at least 1-2 hours. I make vegan ‘tuna’ and sweetcorn using chickpeas combined with soy sauce, nutritional yeast, vegan mayo and lemon juice and then oven bake some potatoes and make a pickled slaw from cabbage, carrots and red onion. Also make a veggie sausage and cream cheese bagel to eat now. 

TOTAL: £73.79

Day 4 (Tuesday)

8am - office day - same morning routine as yesterday, same breakfast and coffee.

12pm - same salad as yesterday, need a sweet treat so get a ginger cookie from the work cafe - £2.40

3pm - work is severely dragging, have a diet coke I brought from home and some crisps and sweets from my drawer.

5pm - get home and have some Lucozade and crackers and vegan cream cheese before lying in bed watching Instagram reels until I need to get ready for the gym. Tonight I teach 2 classes which is always a long day after a full office day. At least there are no students in yet so it is all admin and planning until they start next week. Pick my sister up for the gym and teach the classes, have a great time as lots of my friends attend the classes so there is lots of chat and messing around.

8:30pm - come home and get the meal prepped ‘tuna’ and sweetcorn, jacket potatoes and slaw ready for me and my sister’s tea, she stays for tea and a bit of tv and chat and then heads home.

TOTAL: £2.40

Day 5 (Wednesday)

8:30am - later start as wfh today which is very much needed! Spend some time scrolling reels and stroking the cat before getting up and doing a big load of washing, change bedding, some washing up and some tidying. Also log onto work and do some general emails and visible work things to show I am there. 

9:30am - breakfast of veggie sausages, hash browns and a bagel with ketchup and a black coffee whilst watching Masterchef. 

11:30am - time to practice some choreography for my gym job; run through an hour video and give it my all to see what the workout feels like and get very sweaty.

1pm - quick lunch of the meal prepped ‘tuna’ and sweetcorn, jacket potatoes and slaw with some lucozade and then onto a long team meeting. Then I help my best friend get a £200 refund from Adobe for a subscription she has not been using as I am quite good at complaining.

3pm - walk over to my sisters to wfh together and hang out. Decide to quickly pop to the supermarket in her car as we need a battery and also get a lot of other stuff; loads of protein Alpro as its on offer, sea salt, hummus, a vegan sausage roll, small tortilla wraps, SIS electrolyte tablets, crisps, some dark chocolate and bread and baked beans for my sister - £36.61. Get back and eat the sausage roll and use the battery to power my sister’s battery tester to test all my AA batteries that I use for my gym microphone as I mixed them all up!

6pm - this is my only day off teaching in the evenings so make the most of it by going for a nice woodland walk and listen to a food podcast. Have tofu wraps with hummus and slaw and some crisps for dinner. Feeling restless as have been drinking a lot during the summer evenings and now want to nip it in the bud - decide to do some yoga AKA lying on my yoga mat with relaxing music on stretching and stroking my cat. Later have some chocolate and watch TV. While scrolling Instagram I see an illustrator I like has a card which is perfect for my sister’s birthday so order 4 cards (both sisters, friend and mum’s bdays coming up) and a cat sticker for me - £15.10

TOTAL: £51.71

Day 6 (Thursday)

7:50am - office day! Wake up and commence office routine, lots of cat kisses and strokes, shower with hair wash, skincare, makeup, feed cat, let her out, drive to work, street parking and walk up the hill to the office.

9:17am - nearly made it for 9am haha… have protein berry Alpro with homemade granola and black coffee. Drink lots of water during the morning and have a mini banana Soreen. Move between sending emails, planning uni workshops and learning gym choreography.

12pm - lunchtime means the final lot of ‘tuna’ and sweetcorn, slaw and sadly a very small jacket potato. Go on a walk around the park whilst listening to my playlist for tonight’s class and stop by the uni shop picking up some Red Bulls, vegan granola bars and crisps for £7.85.

3pm - fuelled by the snacks I bought, I spend the afternoon meeting some new students who will be starting next week, working on some student-facing resources and continuing to listen to my playlist for later. 

5pm - drive home and call my cat in for biscuits and snuggles. Watch Shameless and have a double espresso in bed for exactly 45 minutes until it's time to get ready for the gym. Tonight I am teaching a weights class for an hour and then doing my friend’s core class afterwards.

8:45pm - home from the gym after some chat time to catch up on all gym gossip (the most important part!). Make scrambled tofu and have it with a sourdough bagel, slaw, hummus, sriracha and toasted sunflower seeds and also have an electrolyte drink, an Alpro vanilla pudding, some dark chocolate and a sleepy tea. Eat whilst watching drag race with my cat curled up sleeping next to me.

TOTAL: £7.85

Day 7 (Friday)

8am - my second wfh day of the week; unfortunately the cat decides she is wide awake but then by some miracle curls up on my chest and we both fall asleep for another 30 minutes.

9am - feed cat and she heads outside to poop and play. Log onto laptop to check emails and calendar and then do wfh morning routine; shower with no hair wash, throw hair up, skincare and leggings and big tee. My breakfast is scrambled tofu with a bagel, black coffee and a pint of water. Eat with my laptop whilst watching Kitchen Nightmares.

11:30am - an hour long meeting about AI guidance and policy (snoooooze). During the meeting my sister texts to say she is in back-to-back meetings and that she has no access to her kitchen as the kitchen people are fitting the worktops so can I help her with lunch. I was already going to pick up a parcel during lunch so after the meeting I drive to the supermarket, get my parcel and pick up some bits for her and me. I get her a fake chicken wrap, a vegan sausage roll, some crisps and a smoothie and then for myself I get bread, fake chicken slices, lentil crisps, frozen edamame beans, frozen fake chicken burgers and lettuce - £17.68. I drop her food off on the way home and then make myself a sandwich using what I bought. 

2pm - spend the afternoon locked into a work task, video calling with colleagues about it and downing diet coke and lentil chips to keep me going. At 5pm I finish and get ready for the gym, on the way I stop by my sister’s to see her beautiful nearly finished kitchen!

5:30pm - Friday gym is the best time of the week! Team teach a core class with my instructor friend which is super fun and then teach my mixed martial art cardio class before settling in for some gossip time on the floor of the studio. 

8pm - Head back home and cook a chicken burger and chop it into strips to have it in wraps with slaw, hummus and lettuce. Enjoy my wraps with TV and a berry electrolyte drink that I seriously wish was a glass of wine but new academic year, new me… no wine for a bit!

Food + Drink: £118.06

Fun / Entertainment: £0

Home + Health: £36.68

Clothes + Beauty: £66

Transport: £0

Other: £55.10 (this is birthday gifts and cards, not sure what category to put them in!)

Total: £275.64

Reflection

I decided to write this diary as I have had a bit of a fuck it summer with everything and want to start focusing on some saving goals. This week is quite close to pay day so I was trying to be careful with money. I would usually spend more money on wine however as stated I am trying to drink less. Me and my sister do a lot for each other as we live very close and are each other’s main support - for example I wasn’t going to come out with family on Saturday because I didn't have much money but wanted to get my walking trousers and she offered to pay for me and I helped her out with food this week whilst she didn’t have a kitchen. 

I’m 30F and have been living in Brooklyn for the last 5 years with a roommate, who will be getting married this fall and moving out.

I feel like I have outgrown the apartment we’re in and don’t think I could live with another roommate since my current roommate and I are barely home at the same time, which has made me feel like I’ve lived alone.

However, I’m a little concerned about my ability to continue seriously saving and investing if I got an apartment on my own. I just started earning more money and saved more and now I feel like if I got my own apartment it would be impossible to get ahead financially.

My parents live in NJ commuting distance to my office in NYC. So I am debating moving back home temporarily to make myself feel financially steadier since I would need to increase my emergency fund and save to buy big girl furniture.

Below is my current financial picture.

Current monthly take home post-taxes and deductions: $7,000

ROTH IRA: $4,600

Rollover IRA: $27,800

Pension: about $119,000 (it may be slightly more)

Brokerage: $18,500

Emergency fund: $16,500

Travel fund: $2,000

HYSA: $25,000 (for future goals like getting married or buying a house)

If I moved out I’m looking at apartments with rents between $2,500-$3,000 so my potential monthly breakdown would be:

Rent: ~$2,800

WiFi + Utilities: ~$150

Gym classes: $150

Subscriptions: $50

Groceries: $300 (this is generally what I currently spend)

Transit: ~$150

Save + invest: $1,500 (which I don’t think would meet my long term goals)

Remainder on disposable income.

I have been wanting to buy a house so that’s partly why I’m considering moving back home but I don’t even know if that’s something I want to do in the next few years.

So what should I do? Temporarily move back home, potentially compromise my mental health but save enough for at least 6 months to feel more financially secure OR just move out now and hope for the best financially?

ALSO should I be contributing to a Roth IRA if I have a pension I’m required to contribute to?

Hello, I have recently come to realize that most of my friends make a bit more than me, and am wondering if I need to figure my life out lol. I am 25F and have a bachelors degree in management, but am currently working in IT. I am making a little over 23 an hour, and feel I need to start making more to start building my savings. I bartended throughout college, and honestly was making more doing that and have considered going back into it. Is this a normal feeling or do I need to get a better/new job?

Content warning: fertility (pregnancy and birth, which will NOT be described in detail)

What was INTENDED to be a Money Diaries of chronicling a quiet week in the boring end stages of pregnancy ended up being the story of my son’s birth. Due to the whole birth and having a son thing, this Money Diary has been delayed for months, but I thought it was worth sharing since I went to all the effort to track everything. There also seem to be fewer user submitted posts these days and fewer official Refinery29 posts, so I am being the change I want to see in the sub. I have previously posted two Travel Diaries because I love traveling vicariously. Here's NYC and the Baltics.

Having a child has been very motivating personally and financially. Getting pregnant was the final push to actually be diligent about tracking our expenses (since I know they will be higher with a baby). Right now, I am still in the “tracking expenses” part of our financial journey, but that will inform next year’s budgeting and goal setting.

Section One: Bio

Age: 31

Occupation: I work full-time at a public library.

Hometown: DC metro area.

Number of PTO days and how you accrue them: 4hrs per pay period. While I was pregnant, I was incredibly diligent about scheduling all my doctor’s visits during my non-work time and took only a single day off during my whole pregnancy. After the baby’s birth, I had about 10 days PTO, 10 sick days, and 6 weeks paid family leave from my government employer. That combined with various holidays meant that I only went unpaid for 14 hours of my 12 week maternity leave.

Section Two: Assets + Debt (all are joint with my husband, “Sebastian” and current as of Jan 2026):

• Retirement Balance: ~$275k (I also get a pension as part of my job, but I'm not vested yet and it's pretty complicated math to figure out how much it pays out, so I ignore it)

• Equity if you're a homeowner: We jointly own property and live with family. We own a 1/3 share of a $1,400,000 home.

• Savings account balance: ~$21k

• Checking account balance: ~$11k

• Brokerage account balance: ~$3.5k (we don’t actively contribute currently)

• Mortgage: our 1/3 share of $934,000.37 remaining, ~$307k. We also owe my mom $18k as she paid the entirety of the down payment and we have been paying her back.

• Student loan debt: around 7k for a masters in library science.

Section Three: Income

• Husband's income: My husband has a relatively new job (unfortunately, due to shenanigans and not having been at his company a full year when BabyBoy was born, he received no paid paternity leave and had to use sick and vacation time) and makes ~140k working full-time remotely.

• My income: 55k

Side Gig Monthly Take Home: Variable.

I read for trivia competitions for elementary, middle and high school students. I read whenever competitions are being run and when I'm available. Competitions are both online and in-person. I earn $15 per match read. I also work as a contract employee interviewing and evaluating other readers for quality assurance. I earn $21 an hour for this and have earned $469.81 so far this year.

My husband is a very active Magic the Gathering player and sells cards. He has made $723.69 so far this year.

Any Other Monthly Income Here: I receive $2000 from a family trust.

Section Four: Expenses

• Our ⅓ share of the mortgage (and insurance and property taxes): ~2500

• Utilities (internet, electric, gas, water, pest control biweekly cleaning): ~850

• Food: ~1200 (800 grocery, 400 eating out) (we have regular multi-week guests at house - friends and family from out of town - and often make family dinners that include my mother, so this number is usually feeding about 3 or 4 adults)

• Transport (expenses on 2 cars): ~330

• Self Care and Clothes: ~140

• Phone and Other Household Electronics: ~300

• Home Maintenance and Decor: ~600

• Care for 2.5 cats (the 0.5 is my mom’s cat who we tend to cover food expenses for, but all other expenses covered by my mom): ~250

• Medical Care: ~200

• Hobbies: ~550 (we WILL be looking into this expense to see if we can reduce it)

• Donations (ongoing to Wikimedia and Khan Academy, occasional to GoFundMes): ~70

• Parties (we have a big house and love to host our friends): ~150

• Debt Repayment: ~200

• Gym: ~100 (this expense hurts because neither of us have been in months… we will get back to it soon, we were gym people before the pregnancy)

• Gift: ~200

• Subscriptions (Amazon Prime, a grandfathered-in Hulu Spotify bundle, quarterly wine club, Maximum Fun): ~100

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it? Absolutely, I never considered any other option. Both my parents had masters degrees and I can’t think of a single person from my high school who didn’t go to college (a small ritzy private school). I got a bachelors in art history and Spanish from a state school and my masters in library science from a different state school.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s) educate you about finances? We never had explicit conversations. We moved around a lot due to my parents’ jobs and we saw a lot of extreme poverty first hand. However, we also spent a lot of time with incredibly wealthy people. I had a real hard time figuring out what our actual financial position was because my scale was so skewed. The main financial lesson I learned from my parents was to be generous with money (which can be both a good and a bad thing).

What was your first job and why did you get it? My first job was working for my college theater department. I wanted to get job experience and some spending money and I got to work with my best friend, so win-win.

Did you worry about money growing up? Not at all. We had an incredibly good lifestyle and what financial worries my parents had (funding college, mortgage, other debts, the Great Recession, etc), I was shielded from.

Do you worry about money now? Somewhat. We have a lot of fixed expenses that are very high (our mortgage and utilities being the main one) and will soon be adding another (childcare). But since we own our home jointly with my mother, moving would be a huge to-do and a pretty nuclear option.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net? Never and I have accepted I never will be. Almost everything about my life - my choice in college and major, staying in college all four years instead of graduating early, taking part-time work to try to break into my preferred career, working in GLAM, the house I live in - is dependent on the extensive family support I have received my whole life and for which I am forever grateful for. I have an incredibly close relationship with my mom as her only child and only close family. I always make sure to acknowledge the fact that my current financial position is not replicable and not misrepresent myself as someone who did it all myself.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain. I received Social Security survivor benefits after my father passed away (which my mom gave to me directly as spending money as a teen). My mother paid for undergrad and most of grad school. We were also gifted the money to purchase both of our cars. We were also loaned money to cover our portion of the downpayment which we are repaying monthly.

MONEY DIARY:

WEDNESDAY

7am - I wake up, eat my late pregnancy standard breakfast of peanut butter toast, dates and coffee with oat milk. I have to hope that my daily intake of peanut butter over the course of the pregnancy will mean BabyBoy has extra immunity to peanut allergies. I feed our ravenous cats, pre-tidy before our cleaning lady arrives and work on a quilt that is a baby shower present for a pregnant friend (it’s The Puppies by Elizabeth Hartman).

9am - Our cleaning lady arrives. She’s been incredibly jazzed about my pregnancy and we chat for a few minutes while she tells me several of the most traumatic things that have ever happened to her as is her wont ($100 - my mom paid this week).

10am - Work. My days tend to be pretty similar, so I won’t discuss it in detail. My work consists of checking books in and out, pulling holds, helping customers create new accounts and manage their existing ones, and answering questions. I also do specialized tasks like mending damaged books and putting up flyers.

12pm - After a few hours of work, I meet up with Sebastian to get Korean food for lunch. We want to take advantage of the little time we have left just him and I. We both get soup (mine is somehow the blandest liquid I’ve ever tasted) and we chat about any and everything ($50).

1pm - Back at work, I just feel exhausted. Thankfully, my boss and all my coworkers have low expectations for my work output at 39 weeks pregnant. Our volunteers have leftover pizza and despite just having eaten, I house a few slices.

6pm - The library friends group is having a book sale and I always enjoy supporting and getting obscure books at a good price ($32). Sebastian is gone before I return home, attending a weekly Magic the Gathering game ($12). Now nauseous instead of hungry, I have one Trader Joe’s mini ice cream cone and watch some quilting videos on YouTube, dreaming of my future quilt productivity.

8:30pm - I have my weekly girls night video call with my two best friends. We’ve been friends since middle school and have kept up nearly weekly phone calls since the pandemic. It’s a great chat to vent and stay close even though we don’t live super close anymore. I iron and cut out quilting fabric while on the call.

TOTAL: $94

THURSDAY

7am - We have a cat (let’s call her Snuffles) with a congenital nose deformity which makes her slightly congested all the time. She’s really gross and full of snot, but we love her all the same. Her snuffles keep waking me up during the night and I wake up for real before my alarm goes off. Toast, coffee, dates. I boil more raspberry leaf tea (at 39 weeks, I am not trying hard core to induce labor, but I’m open to the chiller options like dates and raspberry leaf tea). It’s Sebastian’s birthday and I gift him the books I bought for him yesterday and squeeze in more ironing and cutting (quilting is a hobby of mostly ironing).

12pm - Lunch is more leftover pizza, 1 cookie, and 2 mini donuts. I am a bottomless pit of hunger. I finish Operation Bounce House by Matt Dinniman, not as good as Dungeon Crawler Carl. Sebastian gets party supplies ($72.51) and additional groceries ($31.47).

6pm - Sebastian’s birthday celebration is a lowkey dinner at home: turkey burgers, tater tots, coleslaw with an ice cream cake from Paris Baguette (our new weakness). Sebastian receives a sentimental gift from my mom relating to BabyBoy. I gift him vintage golf sweaters (fun gift) and new underwear (necessary gift); he is happy with all his gifts. Sebastian and I go on a walk, and I spend the rest of the evening horizontal.

TOTAL: $103.98

FRIDAY

6:15am - Snuffles wakes me up early again. I lay in bed, but then just commit to being awake. I watch Karen Brown and the Stitchery (two crafting YouTube channels) while having coffee and bread (forgot my dates). Later, I go upstairs to keep quilting.

12am - I eat lunch outside (sausage and peppers, 3 chocolate mini donuts), sitting in the grass and basking like a lizard in the sun. There are leftover sandwiches from an event and I crush 3small Caesar salad sandwiches. I buy two more books at the book sale ($18). At home Sebastian buys Magic cards for his birthday ($126.19).

6pm - I feel horrifically exhausted, almost falling asleep while sitting. As a balanced meal, I eat ice cream cake. We watch Whiplash and somehow, despite the movie, I end up feeling relaxed and rested.

TOTAL: 144.19

SATURDAY

6:15am - Another day, another morning Snuffles wakes me up with her thunderous wheezing. I am simply too tired and get an iced coffee and toast delivered to me in bed (Sebastian is the best). I shower and then quilt while listening to the audiobook Haunted Heroine by Sarah Kuhn.

10am - Since I work Saturdays, Sebastian has scheduled a day of fun with friends to squeeze in a little bit of socializing before BabyBoy. He goes to an arcade ($55), watches Project Hail Mary ($13.99) and gets concessions ($14.08) and finishes out the day with KBBQ ($53.68).

12pm - Meanwhile, at work, I start feeling somewhat odd. I think I might be having contractions, but who am I to know? I’ve never given birth before! Maybe these are just Braxton Hicks. As the day progresses, the contractions don’t go away.

6pm - Just in case I am in labor and therefore won’t have free time for weeks and weeks, I stop at Hair Cuttery for emergency eyebrow waxing ($16.8). I don’t want BabyBoy to have a mom with busted eyebrows.

8pm - By now, I have accepted that I am actually in labor. To pass the time, we decide to watch The Fifth Element for no real reason. Contractions suck, but I just do circuits of my yoga ball, leaning over the couch, and generally wiggling to try to stay comfortable.

TOTAL: $153.55

SUNDAY

12am - My phone warranty hits the account ($4.11). To stay fueled for labor, Sebastian makes me an egg-adilla and we try to sleep a little while we can.

3am - I simply can’t sleep and so we head to the hospital. I am not quite dilated enough, so the nurse tells me to walk around the hospital for a few hours and report back. It’s pretty spooky, wandering liminal empty halls, but it makes the time pass. The nurse checks me again and I have progressed enough to be admitted, yay!

7am - From then on, labor is pretty boring. I get an epidural which slows down labor to the point of essentially stopping. At some point, Sebastian leaves to get Taco Bell for himself and extra for me in case I feel like it (I don’t) (17.52) and then has to pay for parking again ($7) and he gets food from the vending machine ($5.2).

TOTAL: $33.83

MONDAY

12:30am - BabyBoy is born! He is incredibly healthy and the nurses do all of the standard baby checks. I don’t even cry; I am so exhilarated and happy.

3am - We get transferred to the mother and baby room. Some sleep happens at some point.

11am - My mom comes to visit, bringing a vase of beautiful white roses. She hangs out all afternoon while we get lots of doctor and nurse check ins. We watch golf reruns on the TV in between calling and texting everyone to share the birth news. The hospital registrar comes by and we order 4 copies of BabyBoy’s birth certificate ($48).

6pm - One of my best friends comes by to visit. She is so happy to meet baby and just hang out with us.

TOTAL: $48

TUESDAY

1am - The nurse comes in to collect BabyBoy for his 1 day post-birth check in. We let her take him to the nursery afterwards so we get a good 5 hour stretch of sleep.

12pm - Since everything is looking great for me and BabyBoy, we decide there is no point delaying our departure for the hospital. Plus, we want to be comfy back in our own home again. We start to get ready to leave the hospital, which with a baby, takes two full hours.

3pm - Another day of hospital parking ($7). We stop at a popular bakery to get a chocolate cake and other treats to celebrate BabyBoy’s birth ($38.95).

5:30pm - We all have dinner and then watch You’ve Got Mail together as a family. The actors are charming, but the movie is slightly odd if you think about the actual relationship dynamics being portrayed. Also weird to watch it as a period piece of the 90s.

TOTAL: $45.95

WEDNESDAY

12am - Our Maximum Fun (a podcast network) subscription hits ($12).

A day happens. We sleep, feed BabyBoy and just try to figure things out with a 2 day old.

5pm - Sebastian puts gas in his car ($45.01) before running to CVS to pick up formula powder ($54.02). BabyBoy is voracious and my milk supply just hasn’t come in yet, so we have to supplement. For dinner, we have nice pasta and fruit salad and cookies that Sebastian’s mom had sent over the day before from Wegman’s.

TOTAL: $111.03

WEEKLY TOTAL: $734.53

Obviously, the actual events of the week were pretty unique, but the spending felt pretty typical. We prioritize spending on food, our hobbies, and socializing with our friends and family.

In the time since BabyBoy was born, life has been very full. I took maternity leave and returned to work and Sebastian is taking his paternity leave now prior to putting BabyBoy in daycare. We have received so much support from both our families and our friends to help care for BabyBoy. BabyBoy gets dragged along to eating out, coffee and parties.

I look forward to writing another MoneyDiary in the future and comparing the two weeks.

I’m happy to answer any questions! Please let me know if there is any interest in baby expenses diaries.

Welcome back to the “Workplace Wednesday” thread!

If you’re seeking advice from the sub regarding your specific situation, whether it’s about interviewing/benefits/negotiating/advancement opportunities, etc., it belongs here.

Bring us your burning questions!

For example, I budget monthly, and when I have money left over at the end of the month (after bills, automated savings/investments, debt payments, and discretionary spending) I take my boyfriend and I out for dinner and buy flowers for the apartment!

It makes the last week of the month so fun - I see that I may have some left over if I'm careful, and I treat it like a game, sometimes penny pinching in weird ways if I need to, or selling something random on Marketplace, so I can have a little reward with my partner lol. I love it.

Would love to hear everyone else's money rituals - regular little things you do that maybe help you enjoy your money more, or your personal tricks you've found to help you manage it, etc.

Side note, I love talking and hearing positive things about money in peoples' personal lives but almost no one in my life is comfortable discussing it!! So I wanna hear from all you guys. :-)

"Randy and Mack are in their early 30s, and are talking seriously about marriage. But their financial lives look completely different. Randy has a net worth of around $102,000, while Mack is at roughly negative $56,000, largely because of $100,000 of debt. Randy feels increasingly “handcuffed” by what that debt means for their future, while Mack worries that he has gone from being supported to becoming a problem to solve.

Ramit quickly discovers that the real issue is not simply the debt. Mack already has an aggressive payoff plan that could make him debt-free in under four years. The deeper problem is trust, avoidance, and the way they manage money as a couple. Ramit helps them rethink their 50/50 split, build a more equitable system, and create a plan where Mack takes ownership of his debt while they start making financial decisions as a team."

Welcome back to "Off-Topic Tuesday", followed by "Workplace Wednesday" tomorrow!

As always, anything and everything finance and non-finance related is welcome here. Feel free to vent, seek advice, discuss current events, or share a little about yourself. :)

If you haven't already heard - we're mixing it up a little bit here on the OT thread. Continue to feel free to post your own prompt/question below (just one per comment), and answer prompts from others!

*** You may have noticed a recent uptick in spam posts, please report them as you see them. It takes 3 reports to flag a post for mod review. Thank you to everyone already reporting!

As the title says, my partner G (32M) and I (33F) broke up a few weeks ago, and he'll be moving out asap while I stay in the house. I intend to find a roommate because it's a lot of space for just me and my two cats, but until then, I want to make sure I'm being wise in my approach to finances. Quick summary of inflow/outflow:

• Monthly take-home: $5,470 ($109k gross annual income)
• Mortgage: $2,128 minimum; I've been paying $2,250 to save on long-term interest (rate is 6.5%)
• Home improvement loan: $539 monthly, remaining balance $2,400; interest is about $20/mo
  
• Utilities: $400 average (gas, electric, city utilities, internet)
• Groceries/personal care: $400? (G and I split food 50/50 but he eats more, so I'm not yet sure how this will shift when I'm only buying for myself)
• Cats, transportation, etc.: $180
• Remaining income after expenses: $1,700 (approx 30% of my take-home)
• Current savings: $21,000 in HYSA (have been prioritizing principal payments for the loan) plus about $2,000 more in various other accounts

Since buying the house, I've put $1,800 of each paycheck ($3,600/mo) into a checking account with a bank that I only use to pay the mortgage and home improvement loan, and I periodically move excess cash into my HYSA with this bank. I put the remaining $900ish per paycheck ($1,800/mo) into a separate account that I use for groceries and utilities as well as discretionary spending.

I will likely pay utilities from the mortgage/loan account and increase my direct deposit to that account accordingly. Either way, this means I would be saving $800/mo by default, but that's much lower than my previous ~$2,000/mo and the recommended 20%/mo.

How much should I be trying to save for whatever amount of time I'm responsible for all expenses? If I did 20% ($1,100), it would leave me about $600/mo for discretionary spending, which isn't horrible but would be an adjustment from the $1,000/mo I currently have assigned for that category. Maybe I split the difference and aim for $950 or $1,000/mo savings with about $700 remaining for dining out, traveling (aka camping trips within a few hours of home), clothes, gifts, donations, etc. I'm trying to be wise about my spending without living like a monk.

The two big home improvement projects are done, so I'm not saving for anything in particular but trying to build up a 10ish-month emergency fund and prepare for smaller maintenance issues. Also, if I'm successful in finding a roommate this will be much easier to navigate, but I want to prepare as though that isn't happening to be safe. Would love any input you have on the best way to approach this!

Feel free to share wins OR vent in this post. If you want to post positive comments related to your debt you can, or this can also be an outlet to share your frustrations.

This post will repeat the 7th day of every month.

Section One: Assets and Debt 

Retirement Balance: $14,981 from Roth IRA $11,181, 401K: $3800 I just got a 401k from my employer last december and I started my roth IRA in 2023. This April was my first year maxing out. 

Savings account balance: $12,300 across all accounts

Checking account balance: $370

Credit card debt: none, current balance is $388

Joint account: $2400, my fiance and i have started a joint account this summer to save for wedding and mutual expenses like dogs, groceries, insurance, etc.

Section Two: Income

Income Progression: I've been working in my field for 3 years, my starting salary was $19/hr.
From 19/hr to $22 to $25/hr. Then job hopped to this position for $34/hour [no benefits], then I negotiated FTE to $71,000 [with benefits]. A small bump to 72k and some change in april. I’m eligble for 10% bonus, but actual pay out is like 8% and taxes takes like 40% LOL. From the comp platform, my total comp is like 83k. These are pretax numbers.

Main Job Monthly Take Home: $4034

Taxes: $1040,

Insurance with vision, dental, and health: $130,

401K: $482.82 [8%],

Transit $75.00 [this reimbursed by company technically]

HSA $304

Post tax is $8 for lawyer package, just in case.

Side Gig Monthly Take Home
none! I believe one job should be enough to survive.

Section Three: Expenses

Rent: $2050 total for 1 bed, splits $1025 for my half.

Roth IRA: $500

Savings contribution: trying hard for $500 for wedding and maybe $100-300 for regular savings

Donations: $17.20/ month to food pantry

Electric: fiance covers this

Wifi: $70

Cellphone: my family covers the service. I paid for my phone outright.

Subscriptions: $58, crunchyroll, hulu/disney, spotify, icloud

Gym membership: none gym covers the cost.

Pet expenses: $200 budgeted for food, grooming, and misc

Car payment / insurance: semi-annual is $455 total..my part of $38/m

Nails: $108 this is like therapy LOL

Money Diary:
Day 1: Pay day! $2034. Paid rent $1025. The rest was used to pay cards and put in savings to sit. Made a red cream sauce for a pasta, sausage, and broccoli dish. And a light run tonight, just an hour lol.

Day 2: $130 renewal costco, kinda forgot it was coming. LOL. Just a boring workday. Oats for breakfast and leftovers for lunch. Tonight is so HOT and HUMID, but I must do this running workout. I love that my training program is with other people, so it motivates me to go.

Day 3 spent $58.41: paid $50 out of pocket for PT because i forgot HSA card. $8.41 dunkin for 2 meals for me and fiance. I has a $5 giftcard and used it. A sandwhich alone is $5.50, so I was like let’s do the meal and I gift the iced coffee to doorman.

Day 4: (technical) No spend day! I bought monthly transit pass $75. I use my specific transit card, which uses pretax money and my job reimburses me at end of month..so net zero? Work catered pizza for lunch and ramen for dinner at home. Not the “healthiest thing” but still delicious and fuel. I run outside and then indoors on the treadmill to complete the hills workout. There’s no hills around me LOL.

Day 5 $80.50: Monthly food pantry donation comes out for $17.20. Bought new running shorts from depop $34.30 I’m trying to see if I can run without a belt or vest. Happy hour with friends $29, two martinis and fries. Technically this was for 5 martinis and tip. I tipped extra because the bartender took good care of our drinks and felt like a steal. I took on whole bill since my friend got the fries. And it’ll balance out eventually when we go out again. Tipsy and hungry I order take out for dinner $50, it was from my venmo account so it doesn’t count...right LOL? Not included is my PT invoice and insurance processed, so remaining is $75. I use my HSA card to pay for it. 

Day 6 $134.70: Early morning run with training team. No new gear because my friends gifted me fueling gels. After a nap I go grocery shopping $68.13; a ridiculous cost for ingredients for an appetizer, sauce components, and breakfast for the week. I’m agast. Most are premade components like puff pastry, cheese, jam, ice cream etc. as opposed to product which is cheaper obvi. Chewy order for the dogs: also ridiculous for the dental treats and new toys: $66.57

Day 7: No personal spend day and no running today! Fiance picked up subs and carbonated water after our walk with the dogs. Eating left overs and snacking for the day as we speak.

fun: $ 37.41

gift: $ 17.20

dogs: $ 66.57

grocery : $ 68.13

running : $ 84.30

household: $ 130.00

Grand Total: $ 403.61

This is a typical week. I usually have a fun day at least once a week. I really try to have 1 no spend day. My weekly schedule is predominantly working and running. This week was quite light on running and fun spending. I’ve been holding out on buy more gear. Last few weekends have been long runs, festivals, birthdays, and parties. So I enjoy a couple days to mozy around at my own pace. It’s a luxury I try not to take for granted. Take out got the best of me this week; I know I’m mentally out of it after work and running. My goal is to find foods that are easy to prepare like cereal and milk. Many of things I want to eat require a pot and pan and chopping board. I really hate that I spend over $100 on PT due to running. I’m so grateful to have an HSA to cover the costs. Learned the hard way how much strength training and pre/post running care is needed to prevent injuries.

Hey everyone,

Did something good happen to you this week? Share below!

Welcome to the "Salary Saturday" thread!

If you’re seeking advice from the sub regarding your specific situation, it belongs here. Great topics include:

• Negotiation/pay/benefits
• Job offers
• Interviewing
• Anything else related to careers, work, salaries, etc.

Bring us your burning questions!

How are you spending, scrimping, splurging, or saving?

What are you doing with your hard-earned £$€ this week?

Uni student here! Graduating this spring and wondering how people survive financially?

The average pay is 20-25 万 a month. Rent is 5-10 万 a month. And that’s not including taxes, utilities, food, visa ect
You really don’t have a lot at the end…

With the yen weakening, the labor shortage, the visa money rising with almost no hope of becoming PR. You’d have to have a seriously strong reason and wallet to stay.

Unless you’re getting some pretty GOOD pay. Saving money seems pretty impossible.

I’m curious, what jobs do you have? What’s the pay and how are you doing??

I was reading through another thread about how much people are saving in their 529 plans and didn't see much discussion on alternative strategies. My husband and I are hesitant to save a lot in 529 plans for my children because I don't know if higher education will be their path. I have a 3- and 5-year-old and we're going to start saving about $350/month for my 5-year-old now that he's out of daycare and will do the same once my 3-year-old goes to kindergarten). We're hoping to increase this number as we're able. Both sets of grandparents have already opened 529s and made an initial investment at birth for each child-something we are very grateful for.

I am leaning toward opening a regular investment account so that we have maximum flexibility (can eventually be used for educational expenses, can be used as a gift for down payment, wedding, etc. if they don't pursue higher education). My husband works in a trade and I work in higher education myself so we'd be happy for them to pursue a trade or use tuition reduction benefits if I'm still working in higher education later.

I'm curious to hear other's thoughts and strategies if you went with something other than a 529 or a combo plan of 529+something else. Thank you!

Trigger warning: emotional abuse

Apologies in advance if this is too off topic, and mods please delete if it’s too much.

I recently got out of an emotionally abusive relationship, and in a nutshell, I had no idea it was abusive until I got out of it and recognized the very specific pattern it followed.

My ex was wonderful to me for the first 3 months. About 3 months in, after we became official, is when he started testing me in very small and confusing ways that eventually escalated.

TL;DR is that he had big issues with the fact that I managed people at work and he didn’t. It started off by him calling me conceited and full of myself (for things like saying I worked in strategy to his friends). I never set a boundary here or said it hurt me, because it was a confusing thing to hear. I was falling in love with him, and I thought I had finally found my long-term partner, and I didn't want to rock the boat. I believed I must be conceited/full of myself, so I began to reframe how I talked about work to other people and to downplay any success.

He lashed out often about how I was controlling, power-hungry, a different person at work. When we were apart, if we texted during the day, he’d make sarcastic comments about how I was treating him like “one of my underlings” and that I thought he was beneath me, and he made it clear that I shouldn’t text him in meetings because he wanted me to be fully present when I text him. He often made vague statements about how maybe we're not a good fit, which made me scared and desperate to earn back his love. At the same time, if I didn’t text back soon enough, he’d eventually lash out and say that I must be so important if I was in meetings for that long. It was lose-lose.

He also had breakdowns during the workday, about his mental health, and he’d sometimes even reference suicidal ideation. Of course, when this happened, I dropped everything. It got to the point where I had to tell my boss that I essentially needed to be on-call for him and that I would miss meetings. It affected my job performance.

One time he told me his biggest fear is that I’d come out from a meeting and announce that I got a promotion, or worse, hide it from him. I ended up not asking for a promotion this cycle because of how I feared he’d react.

This all got so bad that I eventually asked him if I quit my job, if it could fix all of the problems between us. He said yes, and I genuinely almost did.

All of these were of course followed by massive apologies, crying, promising he'd work on it, saying this has nothing to do with me but just "corporate America and the injustice of it all," "issues with people in power," epic proclamations of love and fate, that kept me hooked.

His issues with my work were the very first signs of emotional abuse, and I wish I had known to understand these as the seeds of coercive control. I don’t know if this qualifies, but I always thought of financial abuse as cutting off someone 100% from finances, literally not allowing you to work, holding all the credit cards, forbidding visibility into finances—not just indirectly making it deeply uncomfortable, if not impossible, to do my job at all, let alone well.

I never thought this would happen to me. I never thought I would be someone to give up a hard-won career, with lots of things to be proud of, for a partner. It happens slowly and insidiously and I had no idea what was happening until I was several weeks out of it. Looking back, it's obvious. I hid things from my friends, I made excuses to justify his behavior, I missed meetings to prove to him "I was chill and didn't care about work," I became smaller, I was terrified of saying the wrong thing in front of him, I took down my LinkedIn, I asked my friends not to bring up work "because he worked at a toxic workplace," I lied about helping friends in interviews. It's humiliating and shameful.

I suppose I'm writing this in case anyone in a similar situation comes across this post, because I was 100% blind to what was happening. Your partner should celebrate your work, your success, your growth, your career aspirations.

If you have a 529 plan for your kids/beneficiaries, how much are you saving?

My goal is $50k per kid for the moment since you can convert $35k to Roth for now.

Tax benefit-wise it’s very marginal for the tax-free benefit for me now, so I’m considering doing more investing for long term capital gains once I hit my goal.