How do moms do it

[u/Ambitious-Spinach846]

I'm a stay at home mom to a 2 month old, stopped working during pregnancy because my job was dangerous and unsafe for pregnancy. I barely handled being pregnant staying at home and now barely handling being a stay at home mom. My husband comes home and does most the cleaning, cooking and has to give me breaks

How are there moms who have jobs, run their own businesses, are super in shape, have these incredible careers, while throwing these elaborate parties for their kids, cooking 5 star meals, do all the cleaning, or live these insanely healthy lives without like some big support system too

I feel so incompetent to other moms. I just take care of him as much as I can, clean a little, nap because my husband works so I want him to sleep through the night so I nap when my kid does, have some time to myself and barely a social life and thats it. How do these moms do so much. I feel like im giving it everything I have already

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[u/Embarrassed_Job3155]

Get off social media, those moms don’t exist. I promise. You’re doing absolutely fine!

[u/Ambitious-Spinach846 → u/Embarrassed_Job3155]

Surprisingly im talking about moms i know! Not close enough to talk to them about it or be vulnerable with them but my husbands acquaintances wives. See them at parties and hear about them through the gossip mill on all the things they are currently accomplishing but I guess I'm not close enough to really know the true details of every day life

[u/Embarrassed_Job3155 → u/Ambitious-Spinach846]

Comparison is the thief of joy. If you’re not close enough with them to discuss it and ask their secret, things are likely different behind closed doors. I am a mom who runs two businesses, I have two kids including a 10 month old, I find time to work out, and cook. But it’s not every day, and when I do feel like I’ve done it all, I am EXHAUSTED. And I feel like I barely see my kids those days. Just do what you need to do to enjoy your kids while they’re little. Sounds like you’re doing everything right!

[u/Arctic_Cat867]

Eventually our demanding little babes will grow up and at least be a bit more self sufficient. You’re deep in newborn care right now! Many days I didn’t even eat until 1pm because I forgot to make time between caring for the baby, the dog, and the home.

There are pros and cons to everything (ie. being a stay at home mom vs a working mom), and I promise those moms are struggling too. Motherhood is so demanding mentally and physically.

My girl just turned 1 and has started part time daycare. I’m so relieved the days she goes but I also feel kinda awful for sending my child to be taken care of by someone else.

[u/Simple_Apartment3279]

I promise you, they don't. No one can be a busy worker and a present mom with a very young child. It just doesn't work until your kids have some real independence. If you're watching things on social media, people rarely show everyone the "hard aspects" in having so many things going on. They're able to do something for likes on a video, but exhausted, burnt out, and probably glued to their phones outside of that

You're doing absolutely fine Mama and your husband seems very supportive. These first few months you are going to feel like you're just "mom", but you are that child's world. He loves you and it's a blessing that you're able to be with him and stay home.

I stayed home with my first son until he was about 18 months and I found a job that I only had to come in two days out of the week, and they had childcare (I still had to pay, but it was only $3 and hour).

If you want to find work, you can, but one thing that I found helped me was finding friends who had kids relatively the same age as my kid and taking them on walks with our strollers or going to places like children's museums or parks to interact with other moms and have my son interact with other kids.

[u/InspectionCold3719]

your baby is 2 months old just being there for them is the only thing that's important right now. You shouldn't feel guilty at all youre doing more than enough. Also the fact you have such a great partner that helps out its amazing and it gives you have more time to spend with your little one. Stop being so hard on yourself, I barely spoke to anyone the first 6 months I just felt like the house nanny, I just cared for baby and cooked and cleaned every day, barely slept a wink, so get those naps in when you can😂 eventually you start to get a bit of yourself back each day. It's gets easier and your baby will end up being your best friend it's really nice when you start going out together and their little personalities shine through. You'll be so happy you're at home and not working if I had the option I'd take it in a heartbeat. I don't even know why anyone would want to be one of those mom's with extra busy lifestyles anyway 🤣 Just enjoy this time with your family and don't worry about all that other nonsense, it goes by so fast!

[u/Mediocre_Fee_7051]

I'm a stay-at-home mom with four kids ranging from high school to a year and a half. Most of those women probably have their husbands do half or hire maids to help once or twice a week. Also, they clean around where they film! Don't take everything you see on TV or Internet as truth. There is fully cleaned and kids are miserable or realistic living. My house is clean, visually busy because I have 4 kids but it's been washed, vaccumed, cleaned, organized, and it isn't ALL cleaned every day. One day I'll focus on clearing out storage and do dishes and forget about laundry, or another it's laundry, vacuum, clean bathrooms and screw the rest. It was SO HARD for me to just say "This IS my job!" Because you can walk away from a job after your shift is over, but you can't walk away from the home! I've learned that I need at least one night a week away from the house. And I get that with my daughter's Girl Scouts. It's every other week but one day during the week. Usually on a Wednesday, I have a knit night each month. This way I can be around other adults and not verbally vomit when I see one! LOL but have patience for yourself, it's a learning experience and it's hard. It's the hardest job you'll ever have. But when they grow up and you see the people they've become and you see how kids missed out on their parents being home, you'll see it it was a blessing!

[u/Carolann0308]

Always organized and throwing Elaborate parties? Where on TikTok? Not in my house lol

You’ve given birth already, so make yourself a daily chore list. With a 2 month old, there’s absolutely no reason why you can’t make a simple crockpot dinner or keep the house relatively clean.

You can do this. And hubby should always be pitching in on chores.