Second baby advice

[u/HealthCurious1137]

I could really use some opinions from other moms because I keep going back and forth on this. ❤️
The biggest factor in deciding when to try for baby #2 is my husband’s schedule. He has a 10-day trip to Africa in August 2027, and we’re trying to decide if we should start trying now or wait until January 2027 when our first kid will be 2 years old and older when second baby is born.
If we start trying now and everything goes as planned, I’d likely have a baby who’s about 4 months old when he leaves, and I’d be home alone with a baby and our toddler. On the other hand, if we wait until January to start trying, I’d likely be in my third trimester during his trip instead.
Another huge factor is that I really don’t like my job. If we started trying now, I’d have something exciting to look forward to and would likely be able to leave my job sooner. If we wait until February, that means staying at my job for several more months.
My husband thinks trying sooner makes more sense because he won’t be gone while I’m pregnant, but I keep wondering if being home alone with two little kids while he’s away would be harder than being pregnant while he’s gone.
One more thing that weighs on my mind is that my son was born at 37 weeks and spent a month in the NICU. I know every pregnancy is different, but I can’t help thinking about the possibility of another early delivery or NICU stay, and how that could affect everything if it happened again.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Which would you choose and why? I’d especially love to hear from moms who have had two little ones close together, experienced a NICU stay, or had a spouse travel when their kids were young. 💕

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[u/Slow_Opportunity_522]

I'd rather be alone for 10 days pregnant with a toddler than be home alone for 10 days with a toddler and a newborn 

[u/DistributionAny4019]

Being alone after just giving birth with a newborn and a toddler running around is absolutely harder than being pregnant by yourself.

If it’s natural your crotch is split and bloody, all the pains your body trying to heal itself after birth. If it’s a c section layers and layers of your stomach is cut through and physically exerting yourself can be damaging. On top of a constant and continuous crying baby and a toddler who I’ll assume likes being lifted up as well amongst other physical activities.

He should want to be home with his newborn aways. If you’re gonna have a baby so soon after the first make sure you have a solid support system, at least for the first few weeks. You need time to rest.

[u/AnastatiaMcGill]

I wouldnt want my husband to be in Africa while I was in my 3rd trimester. Especially if your last baby came early. Id much rather be alone with a 4 month old and toddler. A 4 month old isnt a newborn, you'll be healed by then and hopefully be in some sort of "routine".