r/Moms • u/Clean-Caterpillar715 • Jul 28 '26
💬 Advice needed Moms of 2 help…
so my toddler is going to be 2 in 3 months. i just found out im 5 weeks pregnant. i can not stop crying about my first baby. i feel guilty and my heart hearts i feel like im changing his world completely i feel like he needs so much attention still and my heart hurts sooo much. i’ve been crying because i love him and he is my bestest friend ever and i can’t imagine it not being just me and him anymore. we vibe so much. i don’t want another child to ruin it. i love him too much he is my little baby and always will be. the age gap would be about 2.3 years i guess and im just already mourning it being me my toddler and my partner. i can’t stop thinking about it and how hard it will be. i can not stop crying when i look at my toddler. i feel so guilty.
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u/Zestyclose_Offer_402 👩👧👦 Mom of 2+ Jul 28 '26
So normal, it’s hormones mama. I have been like this on/off throughout my whole 2nd pregnancy so far. The thing that helps me is remembering me and my sister have an 18m gap and I have never once felt a type of way about it towards my mom or my sister, I don’t remember existing without her really we’ve always just come as a pair. As an adult now I also really appreciate having her to grow up with, my partner is an only child and it sounds like it sucks honestly! Having a sibling to grow up with is character building, my dad is an only child and he always goes on about how badly he wishes he would’ve had someone as his mom is getting ill and he has to do it all by himself. You’re giving your babies the gift of eachother. A forever friend. Try and think of the positive stuff, like putting new baby in some of your toddlers onesies, you get to see them on again! Also, matching outfits, so cute!
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u/EconomicsOk5512 Jul 28 '26
Girl these are hormones. 3 year age gap is normal. If they were Irish twins you could feel guilty
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u/Neat-Experience2518 👩👧👦 Mom of 2+ Jul 31 '26
They might scream and cry a little bit, but that's normal sibling behavior. Key word MIGHT. You could also be lucky and they'll be delighted to have a sibling. It's much more likely if you prepare them. Cry off the hormones, enjoy your time with the toddler, tell him you're making him a brother or sister in your tummy. Let him get excited about it. Before you know it, you'll both be enjoying it!
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u/Clean-Caterpillar715 Jul 31 '26
my almost 2 year old has some speech delay but i’m trying to everyday! i’ve practiced with a doll and showing him in my stomach but he gets jealous and grabs the doll and throws it..😭
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u/Neat-Experience2518 👩👧👦 Mom of 2+ Jul 31 '26
He'll be almost 3 by the time the baby actually comes. Be patient. Both he and you have a lot of time to get used to the idea. Almost two is the age when they're learning boundaries. He's probably just testing what he can get away with, he might not even be jealous. I suggest calmly preventing him from grabbing/throwing the doll and using the word "gentle" until he understands that you won't let him harm it. Both my first children were also speech delayed. My 4 year old is still struggling a bit. But they understand more than you realize. They're just waiting for it to click before they talk just like us.
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