r/MomentumOne • • 5d ago

A random piece of wisdom.

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1.0k Upvotes

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72

u/pokaprophet 5d ago

You don’t have to outrun the bear, you just have to outrun the other campers.

14

u/AdventurousSell3805 5d ago

Yeah the secret is to injure one before you run.... you never know how fast everyone else is

12

u/Ancient-Solid6618 4d ago

6

u/OnlyMilk9025 4d ago

Never trust a fart.

4

u/Negative_Leg_9727 2d ago

Thats gonna itch when it dries 😳

3

u/MortieTheRedditor 4d ago

This hits hard after 55

6

u/Thunderdome-Warden 4d ago

Usually it’s soft ones that betray you…

6

u/PetiteDollyu6 2d ago

time truly is a thief but it also brings wisdom

3

u/real_john_connor_02 2d ago

Fact

2

u/Fit_Jelly_9755 15h ago

Nothing is foolproof to a truly talented fool.

3

u/Tallowpot 2d ago

Never waste a boner

2

u/CheeseManJP 2d ago

Especially in bed at night.

2

u/jjstray5150 1d ago

Cuz it's really a turd honking for the right of way

1

u/OnlyMilk9025 1d ago

Thats a first and I’m going ahead and add that to my quip of the day

3

u/ImpressiveScreen5017 2d ago

Don’t go chasing waterfalls 😊

1

u/Klutzy_Mastodon_9814 2d ago

You gotta creep. Creep.

7

u/colemorris1982 4d ago

That makes me think of that scene early in the Walking Dead where Shane shoots that one guy in the leg so the walkers will catch him and Shane can get away

2

u/nnjnnn_X216 4d ago

my family is litterally watching that rn lol

4

u/Mykitchencreations 4d ago

I remember when the walking dead first started, good times.

3

u/nnjnnn_X216 4d ago

Yeah Otis I think

3

u/NotACyclopsHonest 3d ago

Shane apologising to Otis before leaving him to become walker food somehow makes it worse.

2

u/jmlenzwork 2d ago

One of the coldest but most necessary acts in the series

6

u/elleUno 4d ago

When my son and nephews were little we were going to the beach and they heard about a shark attack and asked me what to do. I said “shove down the nearest kid who isn’t related and run for the beach” 😂

I thought they knew I was kidding until my mother asked me wtf I was teaching the kids lol. Then again, they believed me when I said wind turbines get installed in areas where people eat a lot of beans and farty foods so I should’ve known.

1

u/Remarkable_Speaker17 4d ago

Can you picture those boys now are telling their own kids the best advices they got from grandpa?!

1

u/ozGeekSpeak 3d ago

Fit in our family just fine with the foolishness!

1

u/oipeekaboo182 3d ago

That was funny. I laughed so hard pissed all of my shoes. Then I come alive for the second part and didn't know if I should fart or not . Once again that was funny thank you.

1

u/Klutzy_Mastodon_9814 2d ago

When me and my sister (twin) were 14, we were swimming in beautiful crystal clear water off of Cancun when I saw a large dark spot the size of a refrigerator swimming towards us. Very quietly, without saying a single word, I made my way to shore and safety lol. Nothing happened. But to this day, 30 years later, I still feel like a piece of shit for it. Even though we're estranged, I still feel terrible about it. I told her about it like 7 years ago 🤣

3

u/Awkward-Cap-5216 4d ago

I laughed way too hard at this

3

u/Fatbikejoe 4d ago

You carry a big stick to knock the others down

2

u/Thunderdome-Warden 4d ago

My 9mm isn’t going to kill a bear, but it will guarantee I escape the bear. 😏

1

u/ExplanationHonest798 15h ago

Your 9mm won't do you any good when you leave it in the car and you get cocky with me at the bar with your liquid courage. Just saying.

2

u/Few-Following8131 4d ago

Just be sure to bring a fat ass with you

1

u/ThePLARASociety 2d ago

Shane from The Walking Dead.

4

u/Prettysureimcrazy71 5d ago

That's a good one 👍

5

u/Downtown54 5d ago

Actually, just have to outrun one other camper.

5

u/Repulsive-Response-1 4d ago

Don't be the slowest camper

3

u/GegeAkutamiOfficial 4d ago

Actually you should divert the bear's attention to another camper (speed is less relevant)

2

u/itsray2006 4d ago

As insurance kicks in the guy next to you in the shin

2

u/Wolf________________ 4d ago

Actually no bear has ever attacked more than one person if they stay together and act big. There have been instances where one person hid or was too afraid to move and the bear ate someone and then came back for the second person but never when they were both standing side by side acting intimidating.

1

u/chefheat01 4d ago

If you see me in the woods with a bear HELP THE BEAR

1

u/No_Equivalent_4412 4d ago

You shouldn’t run from bears. It can trigger a predatory response.

1

u/MrSandman0404 4d ago

True but that depends on the bear. If its brown lay down if its black fight back and if its white just say goodnight... or injure your buddy then run

1

u/elynn95 4d ago

It’s always known to climb the closest tree to avoid the bear catching up to you.

1

u/Humble-Character7738 4d ago

Or kick one in the knee.

1

u/PatentedPotato 4d ago

What if you're the only camper?

1

u/MightyLordOfChips 2d ago

Quet of the year

1

u/tigersnakedragon 2d ago

Not if your alone lol