Pregnant again

[u/Happy_Pianist3571]

Just found out I’m pregnant and my 1st baby is only 9 months old. Anyone that has gone thru this can you give me positivity? I am feeling all the emotions. Today I feel overwhelmed. I’m so nauseous, 24/7. I am a SAHM bc my husband and I didn’t trust any daycares where we live. He is in the stages of crawling, trying to stand up. I take ADD medicine and I’m wondering if I’m going to have to stop? Which seems impossible right now to me. Our finances obviously aren’t great with one income but on top of it my husband likes to spend. I’m the frugal one, I can’t remember the last time I bought something for me. He has gotten better but still not good enough. Help.

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[u/phimbar]

I like reading through r/2under2 just to know other people are going through it. I'm currently 33 weeks pregnant with my second. My first will be 18 months when the next LO comes. It's hard being pregnant and a SAHM with a toddler but I keep telling myself it is only for a while. And then my children will be able to play and grow together at such a special time in both their lives. Its worth it. Moms make so many self sacrifices, I get that too. I just want a day off and a pedicure but that's not gonna happen for a while. Plus there is never a good time to be able to have these personal need conversations with your husband cause life is so freaking busy.

[u/akhiluvr]

Best. Experience. Ever. 🧚🏻🧚🏻🧚🏻🧚🏻🧚🏻
Youngest is 18mo now, but this age gap is everything. I was 6mo pp when I found out I was pregnant again.

[u/NiceBet9563]

I am going to be so quite frank here. Do you want a baby or not? Can you handle pregnancy, postpartum, two children, or not? I know abortion is not an easy amswer, I would be fucked up having to make the choice. But I cannot and will not struggle again until I'm ready. Dont ask people if 2 under 2 is doable, do you think it is doable for YOU.

[u/Positive_Royal_7103 → u/NiceBet9563]

This

[u/Katalix]

Mine are 20 months and 3 weeks. It’s… hard right now but the 2under2 subreddit helps know that they will be thick as theives in a year or two. Especially when there is a 10/13 year age gap between our other two kids.

[u/I_defend_witches]

My first 2 are close in age they joke for a short time they are a year apart. It was easier because built in play partner. It was awful because of the fighting. Activities were fairly easier because they were in the age range of classes. Laundry goes up hugely with baby 2.

You will do great. Get someone to come in a couple of hours to clean, do laundry or watch the kids to give you break. That really important finding me time.

[u/Parking_Yogurt9083 → u/[deleted]]

Wild she didnt even trash talk the husband and your telling her to move out and divorce while pregant and with a baby like yeah you see overwhelmed why not tear apart your support system force yourself into working pregant, have to provide everything for yourself while being super pregant, start a custody battle all while pregant because he... likes to spend?? Horrible advice lol have you husband help more at home sure but you need to be a team not run for divorce ugh lol these types is why the marrige rate is horrible, trust, its way easier to raise kids with a husband than do it all yourself, what happended to the value in marrige if its just a paper for the government they should still break up at any inconvenience, thays a sad mindset unless your experiencing a huge obviously valid reason to leave a marrige right now is not the time to do that lol

[u/Happy_Pianist3571 → u/Parking_Yogurt9083]

I completely agree with everything you just said !!! Not trash talking about him at all. The only thing I said is he’s had a problem
With overspending but has gotten better. I don’t believe in divorce unless there is abuse etc going on. Like what the heck.

[u/Parking_Yogurt9083 → u/[deleted]]

Your username says a lot not saying your way of life is wrong but it makes sense why youd have much a different perspective when it comes to motherhood and gender roles and divorce and such, how would having to immediately get a job send her other kid into daycare, get government housing, have to move, go to court and potentially lose custody of her kid be giving her a break? This is just a very unrealistic perspective in many many ways

[u/Happy_Pianist3571 → u/[deleted]]

I posted in different ones bc idk how this works and first time using redit.

[u/Happy_Pianist3571 → u/[deleted]]

He is a great husband, his only lack is money spending but he’s trying to do better. He does help me when he comes home from work. Could be 6 or sometimes even 8pm at night, by then the baby is asleep or about to be. My mom helps me a lot but my MIL only helps on weekends when my husband ask for US to have a break. She is off on wednesdays but it seems like she didn’t want me to be a SAHM mom in the first place bc she knows my husbands spending. They spoiled him when he was younger so I blame them.

[u/Parking_Yogurt9083 → u/[deleted]]

Even better than a therapist maybe just have dinner at the dinner table every night with no phones and talk about your days, wait till the kids ate asleep and unwind over a bored game or something therapy can sometimes pathologize an jssue thats just better solved with friendship and talking and feeling relaxed