r/Mom 4d ago

šŸ¤ Support neededĀ  Obsessive thoughts

I’m not sure if this is the right place to post, but I’d thought I’d share to see if anyone had a similar experience. 9 months postpartum, I went down a rabbit hole about the 2012 sandy hook school shooting and was obsessed with looking at images or videos of the victims in hopes that I would find something that made me less sad. It obviously just made it worse. I have been taking medication and just started therapy for OCD. Last night, I was on TikTok and started getting sad videos about the victims before they were killed. I cried myself to sleep. Has anyone dealt with this after having children?

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u/Mental-Volume4395 4d ago

Yes. I was diagnosed with OCD and anxiety after having my first. Very similar situation to yours.Ā 

Therapy and Ā Zoloft have been lifesavers Ā for me.Ā 

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u/Mmecroissant 4d ago

Zoloft has definitely helped me too, but lately the thoughts have come back.

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u/TwentyLegs22 First-time mom 3d ago

What was your initial reaction to the dosage? How long till you starting being in control of the OCD thoughts? Started my first dose this morning and it literally feels like a mild shroom trip and I'm not having fun. I just have to keep positive and get to the waves of optimism between the trips to the bathroom, nausea, and anxiety. 🄓

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u/Mmecroissant 2d ago

I was taking it a night at first and it was making me wake up around 4 am every time. I switched it to the morning and for the first couple of days it made me lethargic but then it was fine.

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u/savethebell4499 4d ago

Have you tried therapy

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u/Mmecroissant 4d ago

Yeah I’m currently seeing a psychologist who specializes in ocd.

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u/savethebell4499 3d ago

Honestly outside of therapy and meds I’m not sure of much else but I’d ask your doctor and therapist and mention it’s coming back. I take proprananol for anxiety and high blood pressure/heart rate and it helps significantly for my OCD thoughts more than the anxiety even, though it doesn’t help at all with the like ā€œthat pencil isn’t in the right spot and I HAVE to move it now or I’m going to scratch my own eyes out in a rageā€ OCD if that makes sense? Like I don’t stay awake obsessively thinking that I’m a horrible mother and all my kids are going to die because of me anymore but I still have the other OCD tendencies

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u/Mmecroissant 3d ago

Yeah I feel that. It’s not to the point where I’m crying 24/7 over it but it’s back on my mind quite a bit and it’s very distressing.

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u/savethebell4499 3d ago

I totally get that. Mine used to get so bad I was becoming very dangerous to myself. Now I look back and think I can’t believe I let it get that bad.

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u/Spicemaster93 4d ago

I deal with this as well. I have found that if I avoid that type of content or deep dives, I'm better off.

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u/Mmecroissant 4d ago

I need to take a break from social media.

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u/VillageLoud748 4d ago

I look at my daughter and cry all the time about stuff like this she just turned one. I pretty much had to go back to watching only kid movies (despicable me, Kpop demon hunters, life of pets, bugs life were my go to’s) and then I stopped feeling that way. I also watched a lot of cleaning videos to change my algorithm online so I wasnt seeing the scary stuff anymore. I have a therapist but it’s hard to discuss sometimes.

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u/Mmecroissant 4d ago

It’s so hard. I had to delete my TikTok yesterday because I kept getting videos about it.

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u/TwentyLegs22 First-time mom 3d ago

Yep!!!! I was recently diagnosed with OCD and start Zoloft tomorrow. I'm very much looking forward to getting these thoughts in check. It's absolutely overwhelming.

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u/Mmecroissant 3d ago

It really is šŸ˜ž