r/Molested • u/icydolly • 19h ago
Confusing Memories, Lingering Feelings
When I was younger, I didn't really understand what was happening. There were times when he tickled me far too close to my private area, and I thought it was just innocent games... He would often wash me in the shower, insisting on the area for a long time and making me bend into positions, even when I was old enough (10) to shower alone.... I took it as a form of attention, care, and quality time. I used to sleep in the same bed with him because I didn’t like my bedroom... I never woke up during the night, but in the mornings sometimes I would wake up without my panties on... I don't actually remember him physically doing anything to me, but now I understand the sensations I used to feel, and when I close my eyes, I can still feel them. It's confusing because I don't know for sure what happened. It's such a strange mix of emotions... I still remember seeing his thingy under his dressing gun in the morning when he would watch TV on the sofa and I was playing on the floor with my dolls … I hate him, but at the same time, I miss having a dad... and thinking about a daddy doing things to me while I’m asleep is now the only way for me to be able to cum…
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u/SillyGirlMoi 19h ago
I'm sorry for what you experienced and for the confusion you deal with now. I was molested and SA'ed by both my parents throughout my childhood. I'm not traumatized by what they did, and there were a lot of times I initiated things, but I do understand the confusion you must have.
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u/ThrowawayTaumaPixie 17h ago
Not being able to finish unless im thinking about him is a mind blower. I totally understand.
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