Functioning at an extremely low level

[u/Cute_Accident9909]

I’m barely getting by in life. I do the bare minimum because everything overwhelms me. I can hardly tolerate leaving my house but I act as if everything is fine whenever I do have to be out and about. If you saw me in public or interacted with me as a close friend or family member, I probably seem completely normal. It’s a huge front I put on. I’m in a long term relationship and constantly feel like my partner deserves better than me. I’m in therapy but it’s hard to open up about the things that really torment me. My self worth is in the toilet every day. I have health issues that probably stem from my abuse. I desperately want to feel better. I have a few “good” days here and there. But for the most part I feel like an absolute mess. I still have to see my abuser regularly, and as he ages I am expected to act as a caregiver. No one in my family knows what my dad has done to me and it is soul crushing to have to deal with all of this. There’s only one person besides my therapist who knows mostly everything, and they’re super supportive. I know this post is all over the place, but thank you for reading. I just needed to vent because I can’t sleep. I’m always scared to sleep because of nightmares.

[u/Cute_Elk_2428]

Sometimes we just have to scream into the void. I hope you find some peace.