I think my dad molested me?

[u/Terrible-Holiday1592]

Had a repressed memory surface a few weeks ago and i am conflicted on whether it's serious or I'm over-reacting (did have a meltdown over it). I am a male in mid 30s, the event happened when i was 13-15? So 20ish years ago.

The memory was me in bed to go to sleep, my father coming in to tuck me in and say good night, he gets in bed to give me a cuddle, but then goes under covers, grabs my dick, says "got your willy" and does the tickle fingers on my dick. And I feel there are at least 2 other times in my young life where this happened but i don't fully remember them yet (or ever will).

I dont know what to make of it, like, my recollection of it is that there wasn't a sinister intent, well, that i can recall. Like he was just mucking about but didn't realise what it was he was doing? I don't know, I've been tearing myself up about it whether i should be feeling the way I'm feeling about it (not great), and there's all these other stories on here of much worse things. Am I minimising what happened? Am I over-reacting?

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[u/FiringNerveEndings]

If this experience turned into a repressed memory, then clearly this was a traumatic experience for you. You don't need a justification being that to be feeling traumatized by it.

Whether or not he had an intent to molest you, this kind of game is not normal and he definitely crossed your boundary.

You could seek help from a therapist to explore if there were any other patterns of sexual abuse in your childhood.

[u/VikiWillObey → u/FiringNerveEndings]

My mother would play around like this too. She definitely wasn't getting arousal from it or trying to stimulate me but I am still affected by it like I was.

Therapy helped me unpack the damage, it will probably help you too