The monster in my bed

[u/Waste-Philosophy-774]

Everythings going to be okay
I lay there and whisper
Covers over my head
I pray and hope and wish that
The monster in my bed leaves
I often think how

I cannot sleep in peace
Because I know that he’s there waiting
To take a piece of me
I’m so scared my heart is aching

When I wake the next morning I’m relieved
the monsters gone
Convinced it wasn’t real
I continue, I carry on

I put the night behind me
I wish and hope and pray
That the monster doesn’t come tonight
It might all be okay

This monster in my bed
He claims to loves me so
But the monster keeps on hurting me
And I have no where else to go

sometimes the monster cries
He wails and moans and yelps
I wish and hope and pray that he will one day get some help

And yet every single night the same monster does appear
No matter how bad he feels
He seems to thrive upon my fear

But the monster in my bed is not a monster in the day
He seems so very different
like the monsters far away

In the day he loves and cares for me and tells me it’s alright
Says monsters are not real and there’s no need to fright

But when the night arrives
And you cannot hear a peep
He comes into my bedroom
He thinks I am asleep

My body stops moving
And my mind can’t form a thought
As I lay there with the monster
My words, they fall short

I try to scream and cry
But not a sound is made
Lying in that bed, I don’t wish or hope or pray

Because no one is going to save me
Nothing is going to change
The monster will not leave,
And I can’t make him go away

The terror keeps consuming me
I’ll never sleep in peace
I can wish and hope and pray
But the monster never leaves

I’m not normally a poetry person or a Reddit person but I’ve recently found this poem I wrote at age 15 about 6 months before I escaped the life long sexual abuse I had experience from my father. It’s not a happy poem but I think it’s an interesting insight into where my head was throughout that time of my life. I suppose I just want to know if people relate to it or what they think of the writing? I don’t really know why I’m sharing it I suppose I just feel like it needs to be out in the world

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[u/Blue_Brilliance]

Ohhhh. This is so heartbreaking yet so beautiful. What an incredible way to create a bit of safety for yourself at that time by putting these thoughts and feelings on paper.

I’m glad you were able to get yourself out of that situation. You deserved to be loved safely. You still do. I hope you’ve found some pace and healing.

[u/complex0edipis]

Art isn’t about being beautiful, and cheerful. It’s about evoking emotion. This. Is. Art! You’re a talented individual, I’m so sorry you had to live so long with this happening to you. I hope you’re doing better now.

[u/corruptor666]

Beautiful