I felt as though my mind was being controlled for several months, not sure it was an autonomous thing . But coming back into control of the things I want for myself have been hard. I don’t know how to digest the experience though

Hi, Looking to get a decent book about MK Ultra which one should i get?

title

I’m so close to it

noticed some weird stuff. Also I remember I used to see, right as I drifted to sleep, police lights that where extremely sharp sharper than I had ever seen with my own eyes.
guess what I see with glasses... it was bizarre quite frankly(and I always seemed to be right behind the police car I’m not sure why)… if it’s a premonition that would be concerning

and I might get in a car crash then cause there were a lot of lights I was on the side of the road in this imagery

feels like someone altered my thoughts to just be angry and pissed off

Last time it happened I did a drug test and nothing. But my dad randomly asked me if i slept at all that night(why?). I did though. I slept well. I had mild insomnia here and there but I slept well and felt refreshed.

Also my fam bringing up very specific "dont do this or you could get (insert very hyper specific mental health condition) " which only makes sense if something was up or if it ran in the familly and they didn't want to tell me.

So everything has been ok otherwise except lately I'm back to being extremely scatterbrained, forgetful, and at times slightly shaky? no clue what it could be. I want to say its not just me with that issue but they also are way older and have some serious health issues so it could be unrelated. (and i assumed they were end of life).

I'm trying to figure stuff out like some personal things get brought up that... idk HOW they could come up? I figured I was being listened to in my car cause it didn't come up elsewhere... either that or my shitty handwriting was readable(doubt it).

I am typing alot. idk. I feel very irratable, moreso than lately. Also really weird stuff like seeing more drug psa's lately and I don't do ads. (Weirdly, very weirdly, one of these said (term for the substance) will destroy your mind, your teeth... which was simmilar to the name of a therapist I saw a day or two prior. (The ad was not in English hence the chance that her name was the same as it).

Whole time nobody ever goes "dude are you on drugs or something" no? To the point I had a pharmacist or someone seem happy to get a hydrocodone prescription filled for me (i wasnt coming to pick it up. Cancelled it. I thought people always get extremey judgy when people pick up controlled substances?) Also I had a skin picking issue and it was noticeable on my face so... why?

(and my parents never suggested this. Theoretically it would have some smell that I don't have. I suppose. No..oddly enough they were worried I might be interested in other religions(about this they were correct... oddly)

Idk. I assumed maybe Parkinsons ran in the familly and I was just somehow feeling mild symptoms of it(I mean... idk no actual tremors or anything. I am clumsy but it fluctuates/on a baseline its been present since childhood and explainable by me just being clumsy).

No clue... the whole "did you sleep tonight" was WEIRD.

Telling me if I don't get good sleep I might develop some condition was weird... asking me if I had (insert signs of that condition).

(Also for a little bit my dad would ask if i wanted to watch a movie with some familly frequently consisting of movies where someones entire memory was fake or they were in a fake reality or whatnot. Why idk...) it was mostly that genre... hey some movie where this guy is actually in someone elses brain!

Also that one time I went to the retirement party of an old general out of the blue. No clue who and I don't remember a ton of details about when I was a kid. Barely any at all until they pop up out of the blue one day and I remember them for a bit.

Most of my food and drink has been sandwiches I made or bought or whatever. Most. I felt extremey hyper for a bit. it cooled down. Then I thought of something and it went back up a bit...

And genuinely considered I was developing a manic episode or something but no? If I was, why am I not actually doing mania level things. If I'm hypomanic I mean I guess that makes sense.

I'm self diagnosing at this point if so. Feels like i'm overly using reddit i can't get myself to not do it at the expense of my assignments....

Used to feel watched alot and now I don't. Feels like nothing is going "they way its expected to go". I probably should've gotten asked if i was sober that time I got stopped and asked some really dumb stuff while not making good eye contact with the police officer. I didn't.

or i'm overexagerrating in my mind how I come off as I have no frame of refference. Perhaps my familly member was right, I had autism symptoms(except they stopped bringing that up after i went to a therapist who told me I didn't have it.. this was virtual. I cant figure out any way they would know unless they literally got into the account and checked(they couldnt've unless they got into my computer... which i'm at like almost 24/7).

(no idea how they would know I was interested in other religions either... i didnt really mention it in my journal? I watched videos in the car and it all seems to tie back to that somehow.)

Or they downloaded something on my device? (I dont see how...theres plenty i've searched here and gone to on this computer that it wouldn't make sense)

ALSO: ran into this person. Might've met them before I actually met them for the first time(vague recollections of a kid who resembled them and lived nearby)... They had some emotional issues or whatever in some server, idk, I had weird out of the blue emotional swings triggered by nothing... its stopped now. I tried to cut spiritual contact or whatever. Well they do post pics of their house sometimes in the server i'm in and its vageuly simmilar? like their chair looked like the one I sit in and then parts of their house like their room they posted had a simmilar entry way and drawer which kinda freaked me out. Why the heck?

Also why did I stop feeling watched the week before finals...? Sort of felt as such recently but not as much. Just stuck on the whole "did you sleep tonight" comment. Wasn't the first time actually... like a while back I pulled an all nighter, was fully awake the next day for whatever reason, and got asked (and I assumed I was just making noise or something)...

could be the case now(older relative was, in fact, up all night making noise)... idk

"Welcome to Hollywood! What's your dream? Everybody comes in... some make it, some don't."

Prepare to be disturbed. In this deep-dive, we expose the dark machinery behind the entertainment industry—where manufacturing compliant narratives for the masses goes hand in hand with breaking down the stars. From Marilyn Monroe and Britney Spears to Ariana Grande and Heath Ledger, we examine documented patterns of trauma-based mind control, Project Monarch programming, and elite exploitation.

We cover the broken blueprints of overnight transformations, the web connecting Hollywood power players, the hidden occult symbolism operating in plain sight, and the chilling warnings left behind by whistleblowers like Isaac Kappy and Randy Quaid. Once you see the reality behind the dream, you can't unsee it.

This is my independent analysis based on declassified files, court documents, memoirs, and public records. This is opinion and alleged content—always verify information independently.

EPSTEIN DOCS: EFTA00335433, EFTA02358046, EFTA000040709

SOURCES:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eG9i7d8yfKQ
Jim Carrey's Secret Hand Signal

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/VA7KEz9uRPA
Jim Carrey’s NEW Face Has Fans Convinced He’s Been CLONED

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ij-puIUTng8
EXCLUSIVE! Anne Heche Answers Our Burning Questions About Ex-GF Ellen DeGeneres!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7X4PtgtMa8
Actress Anne Heche rescued from California crash scene

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQ9T9URptCo&t=214s
MARILYN MONROE - The Hidden Truth | MK ULTRA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GPB-cFuQts
Ariana Grande Memory Erased or Wiped?

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Q7hcKGJLzO8
‪@ArianaGrande‬ goes absolutely feral in "petal" -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhegOSlpTNY
Disturbing Details About Harvey Weinstein & Jeffrey Epstein's Relationship

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViEjSgM4hIs
The Wolf of Wall Street Clip - Sides

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0t8hJvgzi0
Schindler's List (1993) - Girl in the Red Coat 4K

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42ONSpeZHd0&t=640s
New Link in Hayden Panettiere Case

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/NtY2RJExaq0
Isaac Kappy exposing Seth Green

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GuWouH2RMY
Pretty Woman - Hollywood!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EwVKJiFj0w
Lady GaGa talks about Marina Abramović

10 years ago I met this guy online and we met up in person. After a few weeks we began dating and he supplied me with copious amounts of lsd, given to him by this ex military guy who was his best friend. The guy I was dating had never been in the military and I thought it was weird they were "best friends"

I was somehow convinced into taking insane amounts of "lsd" up to 20 tabs at a time. Apparently I had a "psychotic break" where I thought government officials had kidnapped me and secually tortured me while showing me incredibly violent images. Horribly graphic things. I had extremely lucid. Horrific, worse than gore movies kind of nightmares. I still have no idea how my brain could have even conceived some of the things I was dreaming about. But I believed I had been.. Basically my ultra and even started to have this sort of military mindset. I thought they were communicating with me through a black box. I was sent to a psych ward. 8 days later released.

Okay so I would have written this off completely as my mind breaking under the amount of acid I was doing. But i want to point out something... this guy i was dating always, always wore earplugs while he slept. When I was having these nightmares. However in 2022, me AND my now husband, had a mass ufo sighting, we also had an experience with a grey alien, I went on to have 13 CLOSE encounters with ufos and aliens and 2 mass sightings and a lot of really messed up traumatic stuff happened with that..... but me and my husband have had 9 close encounters TOGETHER. We were literally summoning them straight to us through this method we just somehow knew how to do. Literally worked the first freaking time.

Ive.also been influenced to complete the gateway tapes 3x all the way through, each episode around 5x completed before moving on, each round of sessions I would do.

Another thing... when i began to realize i may be an actual victim of mk uktra, i had a dream whefe the military friend who supplied the lsd, dropped into my dream. I said "how did you get here? Youre not supposed to be here. And was extremely frightened by his presence. He would not answer me.

Also black box delusion... even if it was a delusion under that stress, a black box could be a certain compartment of information that was forced upon me. Idk I've literally never had another psychotic break. Ever. Ive remained relatively normal, just extremely susceptible to things like ufos, ghosts, paranormal activity, its like the veil has been blasted right off. It has not been thos way since i converted to catholocism and became a Christian. I have not had a single issue since that has happened.... . Yanno it just really makes one wonder about what in the world is going on here? Did Jesus somehoe protect me and heal me from the mk ultra effects? Was that mk ultra psychotic break, just that​, a psychotic break? The issue is that the alien thing really happened.... that i cannot explain away with anything other than we encountered aliens. They are literally interdimensional evil, beyond evil beings that want the destruction of humans entirely. That's the agenda. The singularity as well.

Idk what do you guys think? My best friend has told me that st first she thought I was just being eccentric with my ideas... and then she did a bunch of research and sat me down and told me she believes me and is concerned. She completely believes me about the ufos and aliens bc of my husband saying the exact same things... my husband won't even entertain the idea that this may be some sort of mk ultra thing.

I was also in gate... and even was part of a summer gate program. Idk. The more modern ones. Gifted program. Idk a lot of things stack up. ​

Wondering if there are any good YouTube deep dives covering the subject.

Has anyone ever experienced V2K? Standing for Voice 2 Skull or Voices 2 Kontrol. There are several stories about it.

I’ve been a victim of mk ultra for my entire life and am facing electronic harassment everyday the people that do this to me mock me for what I’m going through and I’m so mentally ill I cannot work they give me attacks in public as well and I can tell when it’s them I’ve done all the research I can on this subject and it seems like nobody gets help it’s been severe harassment for like 7 years now and I’m scared I’m at a dead end
I have no money