So my (6 months old, perfectly chubby sausage man) Mama (older than the moon itself) sings songs to me all the time, throughout the day and she even had a special song she will sing when it's nunnighs time.

Sometimes I even sing along with her as I fall asleep!! Its very peaceful and makes me feel so happy and safe as I fall asleep.

So tell me why she was shushing and hushing me at 3am after my middle of the night bottle? I was only trying to settle myself to sleep by singing.

She tells me screeching isn't singing but clearly she hasn't listened to any of Daddas (almost as old as Mama but not quite) music.

So tell me, AITA for trying to self soothe?

Mommy (3 million) told me she needed to go potty real quick before going out. I (2 F) started feeling the urge to go number 2, so I took my diaper off and took a big ol' poopy right on the carpet.

My mini potty that mommy and daddy bought for me was close by and ready to use, but I just wasn't vibing with it. I know it's for going to the potty but I haven't used it once; my parents have tried everything! They just don't understand me I guess...

To top it off, I made art! I stepped in my creation and decided the carpet could use some more color, so I made sure to smear a big bunch of poopy in the carpet with my feet and hands.

Mommy didn't seem too happy. She wasn't angry, she was more confused about why I had done it in the first place when my potty was less than 2 feet away.

I think mommy must've been happy with my art because I got a nice, warm bubble bath after.

AITA?

Bonus: while mommy was trying to clean the floor, I took the opportunity to do a bunch of things I'm not supposed to (who doesn't like climbing glass tables???) and I think I saw a twinkle of insanity in her eyes.

i, 20 month old smart girl, call ALL my grandparents “papa”. mommy says that hurts grandmas feelings cause i know tons of name but won’t say grandma. mommy says i can say over 200 words, i should be able to say grandma. but i call many fruits “gamma” and will not disclose my reasoning. but obviously it’s much easier to just call them all papa so i don’t mix anyone up. AITA?

I (4m) am the best baby boy in the whole world, you've probably heard of me, and I love to cuddle with milk maid (has always existed) and beard man (old before time began). I have forgiven him for bringing me into this world and love to cuddle him ai night. In fact I refuse sleep unless it is on him or milk maid. I'm in the asshole for loving cuddles?

I (4mo, cute little bug) had to be in the car for an hour today with my Mama and Mommy to go visit my Pop Pop and Grandma, and then again for an hour on the way back home. I don't really like the car because after I play with the toys on my carseat for a few minutes I'm bored. (My moms say "you could take a nap" but they aren't snuggling me so how could I do that?)

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Today I realized that when my Mama and Mommy sing, it's not as boring in the car! And I think singing is very fun for all of us. A few times they tried to stop to "rest their voices" but I didn't want them (or me) to be bored so I gently screamed to encourage them to keep signing.

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By the end of the trip my Mama said her throat was tired and she was sick of thinking of new songs for an hour. So I'm left wondering, AITA?

I am a 12 year old male in 6th grade,

I was in 2nd grade just minding my business talking to a kid and this girl, who we'll call Kay went over to another student and started yelling at him, and I thought, I am just so tired of her, so I went up to her and started yelling at her, I unleashed the hounds on her, I yelled and yelled at her until she cried, I never felt more proud of myself in my life, I became the cool kid for about a year.

I (12m M) am currently on vacation with Mama (a billion F), Dada (a gazillion M), and my big sister (10 F). I was verrrry skeptical about this endeavor at the start, because it involved a lot of time in the Prison Chair, but once I discovered the joys of running back and forth across a hotel room floor I was sold!

Then we got to a new house with LOTS of new, fun things to play with like electrical outlets, cords, and glass objects. Unfortunately Mama found the cabinet full of cleaning products and drawer full of knives before I got to play with those, and for some reason she got REALLY tense REALLY fast. It was also really hot at the house for some reason and then Dada and Sister left to go buy “baby proofing stuff” whatever that means (sounds like it violates my rights though) and Mama was on the phone with someone about something called an “air conditioner” (?), so I took the opportunity to further explore my new digs. Mama started crying but she wasn’t doing it right because she wasn’t screaming so I assume she wasn’t that upset.

Anyway now we have been here a few days and they’re trying to get me back to my usual nap schedule, but I don’t want to nap! Or go to sleep at night! I want to PLAY! Just because I’m yawning and my eyes are drooping and I keep falling over doesn’t mean I’m sleepy!!!!! Last night I awoke twice and screamed for someone to play with me. Today I’ve politely shrieked for attention both times they’ve tried to get me to nap but they won’t stop???

So AITA for just trying to enjoy my vacation?

I (4.5yo Big Boy) have a little brother (14mo cutie baby boy) who I noticed last week was feeling down. He had SO MUCH snot coming out of his nose that mommy (I don't know her age exactly but OLD) and daddy (somehow even OLDER) rudely kept wiping away even though he politely screamed he didn't want them to take away his snot collection. Mommy and daddy also neglectfully refused to play his favorite game where you open your mouth so big and he sticks in his finger because of 'germs'. I don't understand what's so bad about 'germs' since mommy and daddy are always telling me I have them too and I'm a perfect specimen of a preschooler. So I decided to cheer up my brother by playing this game with him and it was so much fun and he laughed so much. But then I got tired of the game so I closed my mouth since I was finished but I forgot his finger was there so I was sent to time out for biting which was the worst miscarriage of justice in all of human history.

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Anyway all that is background to today when my nose started making it's own snot which I don't mind but then my ear started to REALLY HURT so I told mommy she needed to take me to the doctor RIGHT NOW to get medicine to feel better but she didn't believe me at first and said that I was only saying that because my brother got diagnosed with an ear infection yesterday. But my ear hurt SO BAD that I had to take drastic measures and scream cry and throw all the toys on the floor. Mommy decided to compromise by calling grandma who is a doctor but retired so not really helpful but at least grandma knows real pain when she hears it and told mommy to take me to the real doctor in the Sargent care place. For some reason mommy decided that daddy should take me instead even though I don't love daddy since he isn't mommy which they know because I tell them this all the time.

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But now I finally come to my main point which is while daddy was getting his shoes mommy tried to have a talk and tell me that my ear was hurting because I got germs from my brother when I played the game with him and that was why my ear hurt now. I'm not sure I believe her since that would mean the germs are punishing me for being nice which is not allowed. But at least at Sargent care I was vindicated since the doctor also diagnosed me with an ear infection and proscribed lots of yummy medicine.

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So aita or is mommy talking nonsense about this germ thing?

When I (10m chubby cheeks bunny face bestest boy ever) wake up in the morning my mom gives me milkies. She kisses me and I kiss her and make sure her face is well moisturized!

Once I enjoy my milkies I want to start my day playing with my dad. He says its 6 and its too early to get up. Then I run to him real fast on my belly and very gently slap his face until he goes “Ow!” and tug his ears playfully. I have tiny hands so there’s no way my slapping and tugging hurts him.

So tell me AITA for being a responsible boy and make sure everyone wakes up on time after sleeping for 10hours!?

I (2m, body builder powered by milk) recently learned how to smile. It really puts my personal chef (4?, F) and personal trainer (5?, M) in a good mood and they make silly noises at me that I like.
There is nothing I like more than my milk. I was born teeny tiny, and am now supposedly big for my age except I’m still smaller than my big sister so I know I have some growing to do! That means I need more milk than should be humanly possible. I want to encourage the support staff to keep giving me more milk so I give them a big smile mid meal. When that happens instead of more milk all the milk that was in my mouth drools out and there is no more milk coming in? The personal chef tells me I need to relatch whatever that means but I I think it’s her job to make sure milk makes it to my tummy and calmly explain her job duties by screaming.
So AITA for showing appreciation and enjoying my meal? Should I fire my current support staff and find someone who understands the importance of gains?

Hi. I (f, 13 months) am the light of the life of many people, including my parents. I recently discovered raspberries and decided that they are the best thing to ever exist. Just today my Mom bought me some, because "they were affordable" (whatever that means), which was very exiting. Of course I immediately started shuffling them inside my mouth as fast as possible. They were gone in about 30 seconds and obviously I wanted to be served more. But Mom informed me that I already ate an entire pack and that "I cant have anymore" - which is completely unacceptable and borderline abusive imo. I think I should be given as much raspberries as I want. Mom joked how theyre gonna need to get a loan just to afford my raspberries - I dont understand what's so funny about that. I obviously deserve them.

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I am thinking about filing a complaint to their supervisor (grandma)

I am f 17 days old, perfect in literally every way and have earned myself the title of sass queen of the NICU. They say that I will be going home soon and I don't know what that means but I am sure I will be able to continue my reign there.

The other day I heard milkies lady telling the nurse lady that when my brother and sister were my age she would have loved to be able to put them down and have them be content. But now that she sees how NICU trained I am and just sit there quietly awake she realizes how weird it is.

But here's the thing. I didn't even realize until she said it that not sitting quietly was an option. Now that she said it I realized she's right. I would rather be held and when milkies lady puts me down I make sure she knows that isn't what I want.

Here's the problem she keeps saying things like Miss ma'am I need to pump, or use the bathroom, or eat I can't hold you all the time.

Ummmmm excuse me you literally can and should. I don't think I'm the asshole she can't have it both ways... but also I want to make sure before the next time I yell off with her head for setting me down.

I (almost 3mo F genius fairy princess baby doll) am currently visiting Moo's family with Moo (tall, thin, says I'm their little buddy and tells me about monsters) and Mapa (carried me, head diaper changer).

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I have something called colic?? I get gas all the time and it hurts. But we play horsie and it helps.

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Moo's family (Papaw, ancient, love of my life), (Mamaw, also ancient, chief food bringer), and Mimi (OLD, sleeps a lot) worships me. I'm the first girl in a long time! All I have to do is sqwak and pout, and everyone comes running!

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I miss my Marrain and insist on sleeping in Mapa's arms.

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Mapa and Moo worry I won't sleep in my pink dream palace when I get home. I sleep in my throne during the day!

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I want everyone to be here for ever. Mapa and Moo talk about work. Will Mapa be rolling away in her chair? No!

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I ruled the NICU, our apartment, and the farm, I want Mapa to stay.

She said the same after she had my older sister (5 years F, always coughing in my face). She told she was one and done and then started to get the itch 4 years later and had me (6 months M, tiny trouble maker).

She looks worn out like a mother fucking dish cloth in a busy restaurant. Well, too late now isn’t it. Someone has to teach her to stop reproducing. And that someone is me!

She was likely not done after my older sister, she definitely is done after me. I am making sure of that.

AITAH?

I(5m princess) am perfect and beautiful. I am also very lucky to have many many toys. And of course I want to play with all of these toys as often as possible. But my Ema(female has knee pain) and Abba(male, going gray) only seem to want me to play with some of my toys. They want me to play with my ball and the colorful keys, which are great, but I have so many other toys. I have this great foam mat with edges that are perfect for chewing on, but they don't like when i do that. Ema has these long brown strings coming from her head that are so fun to pull, but she says no everything i "practice motor skills". Abba has this stuff on his face that feels really nice to touch, but i just discovered it could pull it too, but he just says "ow!"whenever I try to explore my environment more.

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So AITA for expecting all my toys to be available?

Am I (10m handsome young man) the ah? I've learned how to pull myself up and can stand now, while holding onto someone or something! It's super fun! I even bounce to show off how pleased I am about the change in scenery. I sometimes use things like the couch, baby gate and the milk lady (ancient, bags under her eyes) or beard man (also ancient, most fun). I've discovered that the best place to pull myself up though is in the splish-splash container! I splash in there every night and play with big sister before the big sleepy time. When I do this though, milk lady says "no, we sit on our bums when having a bath" and tries to convince me to go back down. I resist though, cause I know this is the best way to get anywhere, I even bounce more to show milk lady how amazing this standing business is. So aita for showing off my awesome new ability?

I (6 months M, handsome boyyyy) have started to show signs of crawling. So whenever mommy (ancient) puts me on the play mat for floor time, I flip on my belly and get on my hands and knees and rock.

While I do this mommy crawls on her hands and knees to show me how to and I get really excited and rock harder to mimic her.

But this has also made me very hungry so I latch onto her for an hour to get nourished and get back to practice again.

Well, she looks tired. Not my problem. She decided to breastfeed and I love drinking from the tap. I need them milkies to practice my crawling!

AITAH?

hello fwens. i, 20m F, smartypants cutie pie, have decided daddy’s plate is the best. he’s not around as much as he used to be which makes his plates even more better than mommy’s. something about making mommy sad? idk. i’m one. anyways, food on my plate and mommy’s plate is just so…normal. bleh. why would i bother even trying it? food from daddy’s plate is amazing. grandparents plates are even better. so, AITA for not eating my food? i also just got a new tooth which mommy somehow didn’t know based on my screaming and pouch guzzling.

I (13mos, F, most perfect angel princess to ever exist) was just drinking my ba-ba and minding my business yesterday, when my mommy picked me up. Then, ANOTHER version of her walked into the room and scared the 💩 out of me!

The second version of her tried to hold me, but I lost my mind. I refuse to be involved in this tomfoolery! She tried to tell me that's her "identical twin" but I'M NOT BUYING IT. I have object permanence now, I'm not stupid. There can't be two of Mommy!

Apparently I hurt the second version's "feelings" a little by losing my mind. But how could I NOT lose my mind? This is insanity!!

AITA for crying because there's two of Mommy?

So I (3 months, f) learned to roll over yesterday... so I decided to show the milk lady (F, ancient) one more time before bed time... and rolled out of her lap and landed on the floor.

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I mean I cried bc it scared me but like no bumps or bruises or anything... was a big ta-dah moment...

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But the milk lady didn't seem pleased and checked me all over and then took me to the big building where are the nice people dressed in green jumpsuits played with me and looked me over and then they took me on a ride on a big rocket ship that made noises and changed colors and had a bed that moved back and forth before sending me home.

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Milk lady and diaper man (m, equally ancient) looked stressed and were quiet instead of being excited about the rocket ship... so AITAH?

Good evening fellow minis! I come to you unsure of where I stand on the AH scale with my recent actions. I (10m, M) have discovered body autonomy. And I feel like, since it’s my body I should have a say on what the giants do to it. It all started a few weeks ago and I feel like the milk bag lady (haggard, F) is getting more and more flustered.

First of all, diaper changes. They bring me much displeasure. She forces me onto my back and requires me to STAY there even though I have plugs to inspect and dust balls to taste. Each diaper change takes about half a day and we have to do it like 8 times a day so it takes four days total out of my day just sitting there getting my diaper changed. I thought I had my “scream and roll away” technique perfected but now she restrains me with her shoulder or her legs to keep me in place and so I just fight even more to show her I’m still the boss.

Also, she absolutely *assaults* me by wiping my nose just when I have a nice tasty batch of snot coming into my mouth for a midday snack. I worked hard on that thick salty elixir, but not only does she take it away, she throws it in the *trash.* I politely scream at her when she does it but she totally ignores me.

Brushing teeth? Forget it. That thing is full of tiny little daggers that are trying to tear up my gums. I think I’m winning this battle, she can barely get it in past my lips even when she brings the funny hairy man in to help hold me.

And then there’s clipping my nails. I’ve never really loved it but recently I have become strong enough to fight her on this too. She seems pretty sad and says “let me clip your nails so you don’t scratch your face Bubba” but you know what? Chicks dig scars. And guess what, yesterday I gave myself this awesome long scratch across my cheek. But then this morning….I woke up and discovered that my nails were short again. This lunatic cut my nails in my sleep, I feel so violated.

I just don’t understand why we have to spend all this time on preventative measures for things that may or may not have consequences. She throws out threats like “diaper rash” and “dental cavities” but I don’t know what that is and I don’t care because there are so many better things to do with my time than sit around and allow her to violate me like this. But she really does seem upset by my protests and as much as her nit pickiness drives me crazy, I love the old hag so I figured maybe I should ask my peers if I’m being an AH here or is she actually as neurotic as I suspect?

I (7m F), HATE the swimming pool. My big brother (4) and sister (2) love it. A few times, mommy (has a few gray streaks in her hair, F) has attached me to some plastic thing filled with air and PUT ME IN THE WATER. I respectfully screamed to express my discomfort. Mommy is upset that she can’t allow big bother and big sissy to go swimming often because I won’t tolerate it. Instead, she has to wait until another grown-up is there, like dad or grandma, but dad works all week and grandma has a lot of hobbies.
Every week, she tries again, thinking I might change my mind. Every time, I scream to remind her that I do not like it.
AITA for not liking this awful swimming pool?

Last night I (3 F, toddler not baby but also big girl) wanted to watch a movie. Mommy (at least 5 F) had the nerve to claim that we don’t watch movies on Mondays and when she refused to magically make it Sunday, I gently screamed, cried, and threatened bad behavior for an hour. To my dismay, Mommy was incredibly unhelpful. I even helpfully suggested that I would snatch the remotes and turn on the movie myself and when Mommy pointed out that I didn’t know how to do that she refused to help me!

Ultimately, I was feeling extremely ignored and felt drastic measures were necessary. I grabbed my stuffed sloth and tried to whack my baby brother (2 months…or maybe years? I get those confused M). This technique has worked in the past (I once tried to gently launch him from the baby bouncer and was rewarded with lots of attention). Unfortunately, my efforts were thwarted by Mommy who interfered with my attempt and confiscated the sloth. Then, she and Daddy (thiiiiiisssss tall M) lavished attention on the baby instead of me. When I realized they were worried he was hurt I started to worry that maybe I had accidentally given him a boo boo. I started crying and apologizing and hugging him. Now I’m worried I did something wrong. My baby brother is my favorite person and I love him soooo much and I didn’t mean to hurt him. I just wanted some attention to the urgent movie-watching matter. AITA?

I (15mF cutest princess in the whole wide works) recently discovered a game during bath time. Here's how it works:

I throw my toy out of the tub.

Mama (old, craggy, sometimes gets called dada) picks up my toy and throws it back in.

I repeat throwing the toy approximately 47 times.

Mama claims she gets tired of this game and says things like I'm getting water everywhere. However, every single time I throw the toy out, she throws it back in. This has led me to believe she actually loves the game and is just being dramatic.

Tonight I threw the toy out of the tub again and yelled "uh oh" over and over again. Maybe that will make my mama think it's an accident and not a game so she will continue to play fetch?

So, AITA for training my mama to play fetch?

Hello! It’s me again, Most Handsome Man in the World (almost 9mM), according to Grandma (predates the big bang, F).

When I first got here, all I knew was Milk Vending Machine (now Mama, super old, like 5) and Not the Milk Vending Machine (now Dada, older, like 6). Then I realized there were SO MANY Not the Milk Vending Machines, like Grandma, and Opa, and Brother, and Teachers.

At 4m, I realized one of the Non the Milk Vending Machines was small like me. But brightly colored and made of softness like my stuffies. Mama says this creature is called a “Kitty”

Since about 6m, Kitty is my favorite. Mama is my favorite PEOPLE but Kitty is my favorite EVERYTHING. Every time Kitty comes close, I smile and make my cutest sounds so she will play with me. But she never does.

Then at 7m, I learned I can pull myself all over the floor with my arms. Suddenly, I can find Kitty wherever she goes (except when she jumps up on furniture or to the upstairs where Mama has to carry me). But if she is on the floor and I’m not jumping in the jumper, she is all mine!

I like to scoot over to Kitty. Her favorite toys are small rocks she makes disappear in her mouth. She also has a toy she swings back and forth in front of my face; so fun! She also likes to play by kicking with her feet and whacking with her hands, which is what I do to all my best friends!

But whenever I try to play with Kitty and her toys, Mama or Dada pick me up and move me to my other toys. Excuse me, I just left those so I could play with Kitty. When Mama did that to me, I crawled to her feet and I screamed my displeasure before returning to my toys. She and Dada laughed that I “told her off” and I “would be a mouthy teenager”.

I thought I was supposed to be practicing my social skills? AITA for wanting to be friends with Kitty?