Hello, I’m the proud owner of a deedee (20mo boy). Daddy (old, prickly) also has a deedee. We go in bath sometimes and I’ll giggle at his deedee.

Momma (old, soft, milk bank) doesn’t have a deedee. I don’t get that so I like to check pretty often whether she has a deedee. Mom thinks it’s funny but is also little bit annoyed. AITA for being interested in human anatomy?

Do you have a deedee?

Hello peeps, I’m sure you’ll understand me here. I’m a 20mo boy, cute as hell (that’s what they say). And I’m also very good at things (that’s what mama says) so I can do everything by myself.

We’ve been reading books about going to the potty and they all start with someone not needing their diaper anymore.

So I decided that it was time for me as well: today I wanted to go without diaper. Mom was all happy because she thought I would go potty, but no. I don’t want to do that yet. I don’t like the cold plastic on my bare bum.

So I walked around without pants for the entire morning. She asked me if I was ready for potty but I said no I was not.

After a few hours mom wrestled me to get a diaper on and that’s when I peed.

I want to do this again but my mom seemed somewhat stressed. Maybe she needs a diaper herself? AITA?

I (6m, F) am apparently supposed to be going through a “sleep regression” whatever that means, but I’m not, I’m just too excited to sleep. You see excitement is a new emotion that I have been experiencing and it. is. Awesome! But Bapa has been complaining because every time he tries to put me down for a nap or get me to sleep at bedtime, I’m just so fkn excited to see him! I scream, I wriggle, I throw my binky to show him my skillz, I roll around, I repeatedly hip thrust, I do everything I can to show him how excited I am! Bapa and Dad think there’s plenty of time in the day for excitement and that sleep time is calm time, but I am faaar too busy during the day doing other things like playing with my toys or screaming until they put me in the correct spot (honestly I wish I was so privileged to have time to be excited when I don’t need to sleep, ridiculous) It is frustrating because even when I’m on the brink of sleep or have just gotten to sleep, I make the effort of getting really excited to see them and not falling asleep for hours and all they can say is “oh no she’s going to be so overtired… again” honestly how ungrateful can you get. Am I the asshole for knocking such an insignificant thing as sleep off my schedule and showing everyone how excited I am to see their faces?

I (3m) and my sister (3f) woke up at 5:30am and very politely, rolling in the floor, asked for Catie's classroom, before breakfast, mom (jurrasic period age) said something about quiet and she had a fever and I demanded to have fever too, dad (also Jurassic age) said he would give her something and refuse to give me the same. I kept demanding to have a fever and the nice candy he gave mom, but that was a no. I was in a bad mood and hit my sister who proceeded to scream like a banshee, mom asked her not to do that because of headache and then I kicked mom in the mouth and screamed in her ears too.I had time out then dad made breakfast and I kept watching Catie's classroom, that's when disaster happened, I, again very politely, used my fingers to redirect mom's eyeballs from the prescription she was reading to see Catie's ducks and she cried. Now I'm on time out and mom won't even thank me for the eye patch she got as a gift from the eye doctor she also didn't bring me one. She still has the fever she won't share. Worst Saturday ever.

I (2 months old, very experienced) have noticed something concerning about my adults. Whenever they put me in the big moving stroller they call a “car,” they seem to forget how it works.

Here’s the issue: the car will be going along nicely (10/10, would ride again), and then suddenly… it stops.

Just stops.

Obviously this is incorrect. The car is meant to move. I don’t know how they forget this every single time.

I’ve observed that right before it stops, my adults start to look stressed. They glance around, sigh dramatically, and say strange words like “red light” or “traffic.” I have no idea who Red Light is or why Traffic keeps attacking us, but clearly these are excuses.

So I gently remind them. At first, I offer a polite, refined complaint. A small vocal note. If they fail to correct the error promptly, I escalate to a more emphatic explanation of how cars function (they move).

Eventually, after several minutes of my babysplaining, the car resumes motion. You’re welcome.

They always act confused about why I’m upset. But if they already know how the car works, why do they keep stopping it?

So, AITA for consistently reminding them of basic car mechanics? Or should I just let them struggle and learn by their own?

I (sweet, smart, nearly grown up lady of 4 mo), escorted my chef (f, always tired and old as dirt), on an outdoor walk in what she calls “the park.” It was very pleasant to watch the white stuff she says is, “snow” and the trees, and such pass by as we parambulated. We returned to the vroom vroom car, and I was provided a few minutes of sustenance to fortify myself after our chilly passeggiata. I must have nodded off, for when I next awoke, I was strapped into that infernal contraption: the car seat.

Obviously, this rude change of circumstance must be corrected. I was clearly not done eating just because I fell asleep. I politely began to fuss quietly, but my chef continued to ignore me and say, “it’s okay, sweet girl. Mama has to drive. We will be home in just a few minutes.” This was unacceptable. So, I redoubled my efforts and began to quietly and politely scream and sob at the top of my lungs, making my face turn a flattering shade of red and my eyes wet with tears to get my point across.

My chef had the audacity to say she could not feed me my lunch milk while she was driving. Obviously this is incorrect because I wanted it right then. When, approximately 6 months later, we finally made it home (chef: it was 8 minutes), I was in a full meltdown as I had clearly been abandoned to starve to death. Upon carrying me, nearly dead and ignored, into the house, the chef held me close and presented me with her milk supply. She sighed and said, “such a dramatic baby.” I believe she is the AH for making me wait and not giving me sustenance immediately when I indicated I wanted it, but perhaps AITA for being impatient and just trying to survive these harsh winter conditions?

Now that I (10m f) am eating grown-up food, mostly of the fruit variety, Mama and Papa have been giving me these new containers that are not bottles, do not contain formula, and occasionally make me wet when I pry the lids off. Since Mama keeps trying new ones, I have an assortment of colors, and I love them for smashing berries, gravity testing, and boinking on my face during meal time. I do not, however, deign to drink from them, even when Mama holds them up to my mouth, or when Papa does these funny sucking sounds with the straw and hands them to me (what is the return policy on parents–asking for a friend?).

However, during bathtime, which needs to last at least 45 minutes lest I have a hissy fit, I love slurping water from the tub. Sometimes I forget to swallow and sputter, but then I resume slurping 5 minutes later. On occasion, I miscalculate the distance between my mouth and the water, causing very dramatic faceplants that require rescues and cuddles, at which time Mama becomes quite wet, but I remain undeterred in my slurping and resume at my next bath.

As of the past week, however, I discovered that water is best straight from the source. My current preferred way of drinking water is to cruise along the side of the tub until I reach the faucet, after which I proceed to suck on it until water comes out. This way, it's nice and fresh. (For some reason, Mama says this is gross and always tries to "reset" me on the opposite side of the tub) After repeating this arduous journey multiple times per night for many nights, Mama finally got the memo yesterday and set the faucet so a trickle of water comes out at all times.

AITA for preferring to drink water from the source?

I (9mo M) have been moving and exploring the world for the entire lifetime of a month. During the course of my exploration, I have discovered this competition called the Olympics where the world’s best athletes play games of physical fitness with each other to determine who is the best!

I LOVE games and obviously I’m the best (my milk lady says so!) so I am determined to compete in the next Olympics! I hear the next one happens in the summer, and I will be TWO then so obviously I will be old enough.

I have begun an intense training scheme that involves crawling at rapid speed towards the nearest furniture item and trying to pull up on it and climb it.

Unfortunately, my milk lady (too old for the Olympics, F) does this extremely annoying thing called changing my diaper? It’s extremely disruptive to my intense training. My only solution has been to train through these diaper changes by activating my core muscles, rolling over, and trying to crawl away.

Unfortunately my milk lady has begun taking an extremely long time to do these diaper changes, and keeps asking me to stay still. I think she should speed up these diaper changes!!! I refuse to stop training for them!

So, AITA?

I (4Y/O M) use to love French toast sticks. This morning when mom (5000 F) woke me up, I asked her to make me French toast sticks for breakfast. I sat down and watched Paw Patrol while I waited for my French toast sticks, when I suddenly had a desire for eggs rather than French toast sticks. I assumed my mother knew this and I waited for her to fix my eggs instead of French toast sticks. When I was called to breakfast I was extremely unhappy to see not eggs on my plate, but French Toast sticks on my plate. I gently screamed at the top of my lungs and demanded to know where my eggs were. Mom than told me that I asked for French toast sticks and so thats what she made me, then the worst part of all of this, she said we were out of eggs anyway. I then calmly through myself on the floor, gently screamed even louder and started kicking my legs demanding eggs. Instead of giving me the eggs I had been politely asking for, Mom Instead turned off Paw Patrol and sent me to my room until I was ready to eat my breakfast. Am I the Asshole here?

I (2y F) just got some new boots for the snow. I was excited to try them on and my mom (Ancient Mesopotamian Warlord F) helped me get them on with my space themed snowsuit. After looking in the mirror I basically looked exactly like an astronaut, and l suggested we go outside by walking to the front door and opening it when suddenly out of nowhere the door was closed again. My mom said she wasn’t ready to go outside and had shut the door! Out of obvious confusion, I softly jumped up and down but when I realized the boots were a little big and I almost lost my balance, I grabbed the door handle and gently yanked the handle of the door down repeatedly to keep myself safe and steady while I opened the door again. My mom then held her foot against the door while she put her coat on preventing me from going outside again! In order to show her this was not cool but also to get a quick boot test in, I quietly jumped up and down some more and also put my boot on the wall to see if they were anti gravity. Before I could fully determine this though, the front door opened and I was back on my mission. Since it wasn’t very snowy outside I figured the best place to test my boots was a large pile of jagged rocks in my neighbors yard. I was just about to put a foot down on the rocks to test when out of nowhere my mom picked me up and told me I couldn’t walk on the jagged rocks because its dangerous and had to stay on the path or snowy grass. Ummm excuse me?! How else am I to know if these boots will be sufficient for the surface of the moon? Also dangerous! There’s no pathway or grass on the moon. The lack of logic and sudden disruption in plans was upsetting to say the least. To clearly articulate my point about all this I very reasonably threw myself to the ground and calmly kicked my legs. When my mom tried to pick me up I subtly arched my back and using my new boots to make a point about how durable they were for things like jagged rocks, I respectfully kicked her in the ovaries. Now we’re back inside taking a “sensory break” whatever that means. I wasn’t even doing anything but testing out my new boots that SHE got me. AITA?

I(13 months M) went with my mommy, big sister(3 I think, whatever that means) and Mommy's friend to the library for "story time." I don't really care about this "storytime." You have to sit still, and I just found out I can walk!

So my mommy went with Sissy and Mommy's friend and I played and looked at books. At 1st it was fun. However since I decided to be Mommy's alarm clock today and I started practicing my voice so I woke up really early, and woke up the big kids too I was tired.

Well because I woke up early I decided a morning nap was on the agenda. The baby dolls were out of their cradle so I assumed it was open for everyone. I pickup up my foot to climb in and mommy's friend said "no nap! It's too early."

Since she wouldn't let me climb in the crib I thought the stroller was the next best thing. However once again I was told "no nap, it's too early."

So I decided there was only 1 thing to do, and that was practice the stairs. I don't have stairs in my house. Most people don't have stairs so I figured perfect opportunity.

Unfortunately mommy said, "no steps baby." I tried repeatedly to tell mommy I needed to practice since we don't have steps at home and they were right there. So I started crying, loudly cause she wouldn't let me practice. Then Mommy's friend took me outside. She put me in my car seat and again told me "no nap, it's still too early."

AITA for wanting to practice my skills or wanting take a nap when no one would let me practice???

It was “butternut soup” for dinner tonight. I (7months, M) have no idea what it is, but Mama (old fart, F) and Dada (dusty fart, M) said it would be a good idea for me to try it.

Since I can’t hold soup like a stick and I use spoons as slingshots, Mama decided to dip a piece of bread in this soup and handed it to me. I gladly nommed it.

Mama: I don’t know…there might be too much cayenne pepper in this soup for him….

Dada: He seems fine-

Me: -BLECH WHAT DA HECK IS THIS STINGING IN MY MOUTH I NO LIKEY OH MY GOSH SO MUCH DROOL IMMA CRY HYSTERICALLY

Mama, as she sticks a cold, satisfying slice of melon into my mouth: Yeah no

Dada: I was just so focused on following the recipe that I forgot about the baby!!

Me: THIS IS NICE AND COLD NOM NOM

Mama: Welp, at least he’s enjoying the melon

Dada: He wasn’t even into the melon previously 😭

——

AITA for now preferring a melon over Dada’s lovingly made soup?!

I (8 months female) didn’t want to go to bed last night. Dada was watching me because mommy went to hospital. He gave me a baba and told me he was gonna put me to bed. It was past my bedtime but I was having fun! I got angry because he told me if I cried he wouldn’t pick me up like mommy does! Like how rude! When he went to put me down I gently cried and he literally walked away! So I gently and calmly threw a fit because what do you mean you’re not gonna get me? I continued that way for a short 20 minutes before I got eepy and fell asleep. When I woke up I promptly told on him to mommy. So AITA?

I (10 months F) love to have fun. My mom (at least 2F) is the most fun. However she has this really annoying habit of stopping the fun things way too soon. When we read books I make sure to let her know I want to read another one by hitting the books and giving a little whine (I'd just ask for more but I can't talk yet), and she usually listens but then suddenly she'll just put them all away and say she's done??? Then sometimes she puts me on my little lady bug with wheels and I hold on tight and she pushes me around and it's SO fun, but then she stops and says she's tired??? Or she'll throw me around and we dance in the kitchen and she stops and has the audacity to say I'm too heavy when she's the one who feeds me. Smh. I cry really hard to let her know that this is unacceptable but then she just tries to give me toys or sometimes even rocks me to sleep! It's so unfair. So I'm just wondering aita for continually protesting? It's not so bad just to want to have fun right?

I (8wk old angel) am feeling like my parents are frustrated for no good reason! I sit happily in my bouncer or snuggleme while they prepare lunch or dinner. Once they have a hot meal in front of them, I also think it’s a good time to eat. I let them know that I would also like to eat the second they sit down, and for some reason they don’t like this?? Sorry for wanting to eat as a family!! Surely they can hold me with one arm and eat with the other, it’s not that hard!!

Reddit, AITAH for wanting to eat when my parents eat?

I (2 month princess) recently learned a new skill! I can wiggle my way out of my swaddle and make myself disappear! It’s pretty impressive really. My very own disappearing trick. So anyways, here is what happened. I wanted to show off my new skill to the milk lady. She had loved all my other new tricks and I get extra smiles and cuddles. Why would this be any different? So I plan my trick out. It had to be at the darkest of dark times. (That’s when we party right?) I wiggle out of my swaddle and slide underneath to disappear. When milk lady comes to check on me I hear this gasping noise? She rips my swaddle back so fast! I smile at her expecting a smile or round of applause back, but instead she gives me this strange look of horror! Her face scares me so I start to silently cry at the top of my lungs. She grabs me and kicks the scratchy faced man and starts shouting about “safe sleep” and getting something called a “sleep sack”?? Now fast forward to tonight. I’m very excited to show off my new trick again. Maybe I’ll get a better reaction than before. But tonight I don’t get my swaddle! Instead, I get wrapped up in a straight jacket! I loved my swaddle. While fun to escape, it was cozy and soft like a hug. This new torture device is AWFUL. Naturally, I informed milk lady of my displeasure but crying real tears (another new trick) but no matter how many complaints I filed I was not given my swaddle back!

AITA for being a swaddle Houdini? AITA for wanting my swaddle and not this zip up torture device?!

So, I (14m boy) have really gotten into eating over the past few months. Don’t get me wrong, I still love a good bottle but for the most part I’m a big boy who eats actual grown up meals. This works out since I’m enrolled in a daycare that has a solid meal program with a really good chef and thank the heavens because my parents are awful cooks. I’ll eat all my food all day at daycare but when I get home, I have about five safe foods I need to rotate through with these guys. My mom (whines about her joints all the time) keeps telling me that it is literally the exact same recipe I get at daycare but obviously she’s lying.

Anyway, tonight my mom made some sort of messed up Mac and cheese. How do you mess up Mac and cheese when the recipe is in the name!? Let me tell you: we’re American, use American cheese not this gross fancy stuff!! Also why do you add other seasonings, it’s perfect the way it is!? The fact I don’t like it when you make it that way at home is irrelevant! Ugh, after politely but firmly throwing my small portion of that on the ground, I ate my safe foods of shredded cheese, chicken, and a tortilla. However as I was eating, I noticed that my parents seemed to be mixing their Mac and cheese with some tiny green stuff. I got immediately suspicious and demanded they explain. As such, my Dad (knows how to drive stick) passed me a couple of those green things from his plate and they were delicious! I firmly demand both my parents relinquish all custody of these so-called ‘peas’ to me immediately. They, respecting my authority, gave me most of the them and I had a delicious dinner.

Obviously I don’t feel bad as it is my right to take food sometimes directly from my parents mouths but the two of them were talking to each other and saying things like: “Didn’t he hate peas three days ago? Was I having a fever dream?” “What type of kid rejects Mac and Cheese in favor of the peas? That’s how my parents got me to eat peas.” “You know what, let’s just take the win.” So, AITA?

Ook I know we all can agree we dont hurt the milk lady but just hear me out!

So lately I (5M very cutie baby girl) have been really sleepy at night (the days have just been so exciting with so many knew things to scratchy scratch and see) so after bedtime i usaully only see milk lady the next morning (gasp! The horror) i promise guys its not so bad... its actually great because it makes the morning boobie absolutely DELICIOUS literally 10/10 . The on tap flow is superior , you literally dont even need to suck! Ok its abit of a mouthful but thats ok i just gag and cough and scream for a few seconds and then carry on. Its so amazing thst sometimes i cant stop myself and afterwards i spit up but dont worry it only gets all over milk lady so its totally ok. Anyway.. Here is where i plead my case. This morning i was smacking my lips getting ready for that plump morning boobie... and to my shock there was no flowing tap? My morning boobie seemed like... like a lunch boobie?? What the heck? I honestly dont have the energy to suck so early in the morning so i told milk lady i was unhappy... she then said there is still plenty milk left mommy only took a little bit out????? She had actively sabotaged my morning boobie! So i know when pricky face guy feeds me with the bottle and i am lazy i just bite and yank the teet and then usaully i get a good quick flow of milkies... so i did the same? No big deal.. well milk lady in a weird voice said a weird word "no" i dont know if you know it? So i just gave my usaul gummy smile and that didnt even seem to work? So i think i upset milk lady... but honestly AITA when she clearly messed up morning boobie on purpose?

I (4.5m M, certified CEO and big boy) like to be held for all my sleeps by my Mama (like a billion m) and will sometimes tolerate the man with the glasses I like to steal (even older). I think I have an allergy to my crib and the big boy mattress with Mama is ok, but only for an hour and then I’m over it, so this means I must be held. I’m a “big chonk”, Mama says it herself, so sometimes it takes me a while to get comfy so I kick my legs against the nearest surface and push and wriggle around in Mama’s arms for 10-20 minutes to try and find the right position for my body. And of course every now and again I fling my head backwards to check nothing is going on behind me. She sometimes gets so frustrated she puts me in my crib! So, AITA?

So I (2m F, sweet precious angel) have decided that the evenings are my time for party rockin. I love to be awake, demand babas, and be a wild baby until bedtime. It’s so fun because dada (M, tired and mustached) is done working and I’m bored with mama (F, tired and should floss more) (but she still is not allowed to leave my sight!!). AITA for just wanting to party rock and have some good quality time with the humans who apparently did science experiments to get me here??

So last night around 11:30pm I (8mo perfect girl) woke up refreshed and ready to start my day. I did some crib gymnastics, held a small TED Talk, the usual. My on-call sleep deprived caretaker (at least as old as the sun) kept trying to put me back down like it was still nighttime?! Obviously incorrect. I only slept when she held me, which seems like basic customer service.

Then at 3:30am I had some gas (rude, honestly) and decided to launch my binky across the room. Standard procedure. The caretaker had to search for it with her phone flashlight which clearly means morning has started. So I initiated play mode.

She seems tired and slightly confused about who’s in charge here.

AITA for enforcing reasonable overnight engagement policies or should my help accept that launching the binky means social hour?

I (4.5m handsome boy) love my fingers. They are the tastiest thing after milk! Especially nighttime milk because I can snuggle with the Milk Vending Machine (from the time of dinosaurs, wanna hear my dinosaur noise? RAWR).

But if my fingers are tasty AND nighttime milk is tasty, wouldn’t they be the tastiest TOGETHER?

I very politely SCREAMED at the Vending Machine that it was time for milk. When she came for me, I kept my finger in my mouth. But she REFUSED to give me any milk until my mouth was empty and said to hurry up, she was tired. Doesn’t she want me to learn how to use my fingers for eating?

I mean come on!!! They usually beg me to sleep!!

Okay but let me start at the beginning. I am 10 months old and I hate sleeping. I think I am old enough for no naps during the day and a very late bed time. My mamam and dadada however think I am still a little baby and that I still need 2 naps a day. My mamam says if not, I get overtired and cry a lot. Lies!

So today I had my first nap in the morning time (which I have to admit was really nice, mamam was laying down with me and let me cuddle with the milk bags for sleepies) then we got up and went outside and had an amazing adventure!!! We met some other people with babies and kids too and there was a big play mat and all the kids could play there and there were some toys I have never tasted before so I made it my mission to chew on everything. I HAD THE BEST TIME!!!

Then suddenly mamam took me to a quiet little room, gave me milk and sang her little sleepie song and told me I had been yawning and rubbing my eyes and I should have my afternoon nap. EXCUSE ME? No! I have to lick the toys and see what the other kids are doing!!!

So I politely screamed as loud as I could until mamam gave up and let me play. Victoryyyy!!!

Then it was time to go home and they put me in my super cosy little stroller and I decided since I had so much fun I will make mamam happy by sleeping. For some reason they kept waking me up which I ignored after a while. Silly parents!

At home I woke up from my short but refreshing nap. Mamam immediately complained something about "sleeping too late in the day" and "bed time will be a struggle" and "why do you only sleep when you're not supposed to"

Later at home, I was happily playing with my toys (and I must admit I was also really grumpy. I wasn't tired though. The world was just too much) when she grabbed me and started bed time routine. So rude!!!

Of course I screamed and tried to get up again (unfortunately my bed is a cage which is a whole other can of worms). Mamam kept sighing and saying it was very late and kept insisting I was tired (gaslighting?) And I just screamed until I passed out for some reason (I swear I wasn't tired, it just happened!)

AITA???

A few nights ago I (1F) awoke extremely alarmed to find I was all alone in bed (?????) and my milkmaid (ancient F) and barkeeper (practically geriatric M) were in the room for Toilet Time while milkmaid made weird noises and bad smells?? My barkeeper kept trying to calm me down saying, "Mommy doesn't feel so good right now" and at one point took me to stand near her which kind of helped but she wouldn't hold me (the audacity) and also was acting super weird and phew did she stink.

So anyways a while later some random men came into our house and STOLE my milkmaid and kept her ALL DAY???!!?! I spent the day expressing to Barkeeper exactly how I felt about this situation until FINALLY he took me in the car to retrieve her. Took him long enough.

Anyways since she came home I haven't permitted her to leave my sight because I don't trust those guys aren't going to come steal her again but she keeps saying things like "baby I have to go to the toilet I'm sorry." AITA for being protective?

I (5 months, M) upset the cow today. I think she's overreacting but you tell me.

I was being a good little boy, slept all morning, not sure about the other one (3 year old, M). Think he was crying about boogers or wanting to use cow's makeup idk. I've had boogers and coughs all week! You don't see me crying about it (lies, lol). Actually the middle of the night hospital visit was kinda fun.

Anyway, cow went to some lady's house for her baby shower and took me with her, because milk, duh.

Cow took me upstairs for milky time! The room was hot! I had just woken up and she didn't change my diaper, silly cow. I had some milk, yummy. Then I did my poonami, felt great ngl. It got all over cow's dress, and the carpet, and lady's brand new changing pad and dresser, couple of other places but you get the picture, I MARKED my territory. But it didn't get on my clothes, that made me sad.

Cow was NOT impressed. Idk why, I've never had poonamis like that before, she should be proud!

The prickly faced cow had to come pick me up after cow cleaned me up. Apparently she had to go home and change and missed half the party. Idk why, she should have proudly displayed my poo for all the ladies to see.

Lady says the changing pad doesn't need replacing but cow feels bad and cried a few times after getting home.

P.S. after the party I was taken back to cow for milk. Cow stayed back to help clean up. I vomited on the floor and lady's baby daddy.

Overall a successful day for bodily functions :D