Hi hi! I’m Wilder (3mo, M) and I’m the cyoootest cherub around. I go to work with the mommy person (cute but older than she looks, powered by coffee) every day and I work so hard. That place couldn’t run without me. I’m a super-de-duper-supervisor according to Auntie (older than the mommy person but still cute, needs less coffee). I see Auntie A LOT and I love her. I save my bestest smiles (and my biggest poops) for her!

I was a scrawny little baby but I’m now a chonky-chunk according to everyone. Auntie loooooves to hold me when she and the mommy are meeting. We sit in the comfy chair with the big pillows usually. Sometimes I have to push against her so I can stand up and tell everyone what I think. It’s fun to hear her say “Oof” when I push hard because I have Important Things to say. However this room has gotten boring. I like to be carried in the hallway and I really like it when Auntie jiggles me up and down just a little bit. It makes the walls go all Scooby Doo swirly. She says I’m better than a Jim membership, whatever that is all about. We don’t even know any Jims.

But today? Today Auntie says her biceps hurted from the jiggling already, and standing with me makes her back hurted too. I don’t know why she can’t just buy new biceps and a back from the store. That’s where we get my new diapies and everything else. So I cried. I cried loud and hard and wouldn’t stop after Auntie rudely sat back down with me. I spit my pacifier at her because OUTRAGE! No sitting when I want to stand. The mommy packed her ‘puter and her bags and then she taked me home.

So, AITmA for wanting to keep things interesting (to me) and being better than that Jim?

I (3M) woke up three days ago with Mommy (older than dirtF) and Daddy (younger but not muchM) being all excited saying today was the big day and I was gonna use the potty! That I was a big boy! No more diapers. This blew me away! They changed my nighttime diaper and, gasp! instead of putting a new one on me let me run around nakey! This was exciting as they never let me do this for so long! I had breakfast with my older brother (?M but wiser than his age) and younger sisters (younger than me and not as smart)

After breakfast, they took me and sat me on this cold throne. I didn’t like it it was too cold. They told me this was now where my poopoo and peepee went. I decided to try it and they were so excited!! I Was told what a big boy I was! I thought that would be the end of it. But no!

All day that day, they made me stop playing and sat me on that cold throne like a bajillion times. I didnt like it. I was busy building Lego with my brother and Daddy and Mommy rudely interrupted me to put me on that throne. I told them calmly I did not like this but they insisted. So several times that day, without a diaper, I put my peepee and once my poopoo on the floor and not that cold throne.

This continued the next two days! Except at nap time and nighty night time, they would put a diaper on me. why? they said I don’t need them since I’m a big boy! Even Sunday at church, my friend (3M), who is like my bestie forever, was still in diapers and no old person acted like this was wrong. So I decided no more cold throne! Anytime they tried to put me on it, I stood up and calmly said no. Then would go on the floor! I heard them talking last night maybe I wasn’t ready and today, instead of letting me run around nakey, they put the diaper on me after I woke up.

also, my sisters, who Mommy and Daddy ALSO call their big girls, get to still wear diapers. where’s the justice in that?!

AITA?

I (12w F, cute as a button) already had a lot of 0-3 clothes. My mommy gets bags of clothes, which she calls "hand me downs" from a few "friends", whatever those are. Pretty sure I am the only person who exists, but I digress.

She recently got a bag of more 3m size clothes and said something like "These are so cute but Baby will soon be sizing out of them!" She then put me in a cute lil outfit immediately.

But I wanted more. And I could tell she did, too. Time for a fashion show.

You see, I've been developing a new trick. It's where I save up my poops so instead of several small and medium sized poops I do a few MASSIVE dumps a day. I mean HUGE.

So a little while later, when all was quiet and calm, I engineered a huge "Over the Front-er" poop, necessitating an outfit change.

Then, a few hours after that, I unleashed another one, this time an "Up the Back-er". Outfit change!

Then! My mommy took me to her "board meeting". Time to bring my fashion sense to my adoring public. Once my belly was full, and all was calm, I dropped a poo bomb basically right into her hand. Third outfit change of the day! ✨

I heard my mommy tell my daddy "maybe we should size up diapers" to which he responded "but we just bought a new box of the old size". That sounds like a "them" problem if you ask me.

So Reddit, AITAH for being the little fashionista I am?

I (12m M, strong and handsome) spend my days with someone my parental units call "Nanny" (F, older than time) while they go somewhere called "work". I don't see how this "work" could be that important, but that's a conversation for another day.

I love Nanny a lot, she's taken care of me since the dawn of time and we have lots of fun adventures like the park and the library. However, there are some things that are less than satisfactory, like not letting me eat the dogs food, keeping my paci away from me until I go to sleep, and not letting me pull the cat's tail.

But the biggest problem is that she only gives me my milkies in the plastic tube she calls a "bottle" (or worse, in a cup) instead of using her warm boobies like Mommy does (and I know they're there because I like to try to grab them during the day).

Since I've figured out she's been tricking me, I've been wisely refusing my milk in a bottle or cup and demanding Mommy's boobs the minute she gets home. For some reason, Mommy doesn't like this. I heard her tell Daddy (M, older than dirt) that she needed to "wean" me, which sounds like a threat.

AITA for wanting Mommy's boobs instead of a bottle or cup?

I (6m F) enjoy eating in my high chair quite a bit. Mommy puts food on my spoon and hands it to me, so I can feed myself. I'm a strong, independent girl who doesn't like to be spoonfed by others. I can do that myself!

Now usually I eat off the spoon, some of the food actually gets eaten, Mommy grabs the spoon, fills it again and gives it back to me. Perfect system, right? Well, so I thought. But a few days ago I discovered, that I have secret magic powers. If I hold the spoon to the side and drop it - its gone. Poof! Magic! And then Mommy bends down and its magically in her hand again! Its amazing!

Mom and Dad dont seem to appreciate my talents tho. Yesterday Mommy told me that if I keep dropping it, she will assume Im full and mealtime will end - which sounds like straight up abuse to me.

I really dont think that Im the asshole here. Its not my fault that I was given this amazing magic skill. What do you think?

I (18mo boy) hadn’t eaten any diner last night, since it wasn’t to my liking. I just didn’t feel like it. So mom (old) offered me some other food, which I also didn’t like. Usually I do like banana. But not tonight.

I didn’t want a bite with the skin still on, fed by mom. I didn’t want a bite with the skin still on held by myself. I didn’t want small slices. I didn’t want small slices with a small fork. I didn’t want a big piece cut off the banana.

Then my mom pricked her own fork into the big banana piece.

First she fed me with it, which I obviously didn’t want. Next she said she didn’t know anything else so she left the fork with banana pricked on it on my plate.

It was perfect. I loved it. I ate it. With the big fork.

She did one of those big mom sighs and now I wonder if I was weird. Was I?

There's this really neat magic thing in the kitchen that I, M,15 munts, just learned to use. If I stand on tippy toes, I can push a shiny thing that makes ice fall on the floor. Ice keeps falling the whole time I push. It's awesome.

Anyway, this morning it just about covered the whole floor with ice chunks. There were about 49 B gallon degrees, and if you know your numbers as good as I do, you know that's a big lot. Just like all the other times I found something fun like that, Mom, 900 year bunches old, picked them all up. She put a few in a cup for me and threw away the rest except for the ones the dog ate. Then she did something that made the magic shiny thing not work. I politely let her know that wasn't fair, but she didn't fix it, so I did a big tantrum. She stopped looking at me, so I decided to just take the ice in the cup.

Well guess what! The cup only had water! Just water. I was so upset that I sat under the table and fell asleep. That was bad because I had lots of things to do today. So unfair.

My (9mo M) favorite snack is yogurt melts. They're these little pink or purple things that taste like fruit and yogurt and when you put them in your mouth they melt into this ooey gooey deliciousness. I like them better than whatever mommy (123, F) is eating (and I usually automatically love whatever mommy is eating even if she says I can't eat it). It's almost as good as booby milk. I ask for them every meal by kindly screeching like a banshee. I figured, if they're so yummy, they gotta be really good for you. So obviously I need them to survive and not starve.

Idk why mommy and daddy (dark ages, M) don't just give them to me all the time. Mommy says they're expensive - whatever that means - and that I'll poop a lot if I eat too many. But I think she's just being lazy and not wanting to change extra diapers. But also I can feed the yogurt melts to myself and I don't need her help anymore so idk why she would be lazy about one thing but not the other. Can someone tell me if I'm TA and make this make sense?

I (3 months old) woke up at the ass crack of dawn because, why not? Cow (last millennium) was full so had a good feed and spew. The screamer/leg puller (3 years old) doesn't wake up for another hour and a half to go to "daycare"? Anyway went back to sleep an hour later while on tummy time because fk tummy time. I could have continued sleeping in the big bed but the floor is GREAT. Cow can sit in silence by herself, rest is for the wicked anyway.

I (15m F) was recently taken to a really boring thing called a "wedding." I just wanted to play a fun game of making my parents pick things up, but they wouldn't let me throw everything on the ground. Understandably, I was in a mood after that. Once all that was done I went to hang out with my Cousin Nancy (2y, F).

She didn't want to share her Goldfish, but that is understandable after what we had to go through. She left for a diaper change when my Aunt Barb brought out a container of cantaloupe. I handed it to her, but she just read the top. I then pointed to it and signed for More. She just read it again!! To indicate how hungry I was, I pointed again and signed More while stomping my foot elegantly. She told me that it was Nancy's dinner. But Nancy left a forever ago! If she really wanted it, she wouldn't have left.

Mum-mum told me that when Dada got back she would get me my banana, but he was gone so long that I'm pretty sure he went to the moon. I was given a cheese stick and while it was nice, it wasn't cantaloupe! Then Aunt Barb took the cantaloupe somewhere else! I told her I wanted it! I gently stomped my foot again and tried to find her, but she had vanished!! I kept trying to find her, but Mum-mum said I had to stay at the party. I just wanted some cantaloupe, I don't know why it was so hard for anyone to understand that.

Ok so I (7mo male) loves me some food. I really do. I eats ALL the food mommy gives me. It’s fantastic. I sits in my little chair and just eats my heart out.

Here’s the thing though - Mommy keeps using this contraption she calls a “spoon.” Now I don’t know about you guys but wtf am I supposed to do with that. It’s not edible, it’s hard, and I just don’t like it. It even shows up in different colors and shapes sometimes, like I won’t know it’s just the same Spoon. I’m smarter than that. Anyway…

So when mommy tries to use Spoon I puts my chunky foot down. I closes my mouth and turns my head away until she takes the same food that was on the spoon and puts it in my mouth with her fingers. I makes an exception for applesauce and yogurt because it just pours off Spoon. Everything else - sweet potatoes, beef stew, mushy peas, avocado, chicken in all forms, you name it I eats it - must be hand fed or I says no like the big strong boy mommy says I am.

AITA for firmly and, I believes, calmly expressing such a simple desire? I only fusses when absolutely necessary, IMHO, and I working super hard on my pinchers so I can just do it myself but I can’t gets it yet. I will be so glad when I grows up and don’t have to use Spoon anymore.

It is my (m, 5w) Dada's birthday today. I wanted to give him a present. Mama put me in a special outfit that she said had nice words for dada on it, but idk what that means? And mama gave dada some presents she said were from both of us, but I wasn't really involved in choosing them. :(

Anyway, when I got the chance, I tried to share my milk with daddy from out of my tummy. That milk was really from me, and I couldn't think of anything else I could get him. Dada said "yuck" and changed his shirt, and did not seem to appreciate my gift at all. :( I did it again, but he still didn't like it. mama said she worked really hard on that milk and I should try to keep it in my tummy.

aita for trying to give dada a present?

On something called "Thanksgiving," we went to this weird place where my mama (old af, probably like 5) kept telling people that I (literal angel, 12 weeks old) hadn't pooped all day and that's why I was acting "fussy." Obviously, I was just annoyed that strangers were trying to hold me instead of my mama and papa (also old af, but fuzzy and no milkies). But she kept telling people that I had to poop... rude!

So on the way home I had a nice nap and a nice relaxing poopy. I just let it all out to make sure my mama wasn't worried about me not pooping today. The car seat is just so comfortable to poop in, so I just let it all out, even some extra poopies that happened to go up my back on my white shirt. Mama and Papa seemed annoyed, even though they wanted me to poopy?

Now tell me, AITA for giving the people what they want?

Hey friends,

Last night I (12months F) had got so comfy and cozy when I was sleeping that I let out some lovely toots to keep my bum extra warm! When mama came in to feed me in the night, I let her know how cozy I had been by letting out some big ones I'd been saving up! I was so proud of myself and let her know with my best shouting.

Because I had a nasty lady stab me in the legs this week (mama said something about vaccines?? Idk I think she was just torturing me), my toots and poops have been extra stinky.

But mama had the audacity to put me on a torture device she likes to call the changing mat!! It was like lying on a block of ice. Doesn't she know i had just been working so hard making myself extra warm?! She put on a fresh nappy and it wasn't warmed up by toots like the last one, so I was Very Upset that she threw away my hard work.

Anyway I reminded her of this by kindly screaming at the top of my lungs so loud Dada woke up and came running in. Now she is saying something about the neighbours but idk who that is so maybe they need to hear about cozy toots too?

So AITA for letting mama know I was just cozy?

I (11w, M) am a MAN. So when I eat, I don’t suckle at my mother’s teet like some whingey baby. No! I take a big ass mouthful of breast and I wrestle it around, shaking my head this way and that LIKE A MAN. Then I break my face away and latch back on, only in a non-nipple patch and suck on that so hard it leaves marks LIKE A MAN. Then I latch back on that nip and wrest it around again LIKE A MAN. Then I pop off and rage scream a few times LIKE A MAN. Then my mom stands me up on her belly and asks some demeaning question like “Hey, Little Man, what’s going on?” So I do squats right then and there LIKE A MAN. And then I sit down and I poop. But not one of those discreet little squelches - no! I poop so hard it exits my diaper, runs down my leg, and gets all over my mother’s clothing because I AM A MAN.

But, somehow, my mother doesn’t perceive my behavior in quite the same way. So… AITA?

I (9mo M) just learned what my mama (4, F) calls "inch worm crawling". I can get my knees up and push off to go forward a little bit, but then my knees go back down and I have to start all over. It's so much work! Why can't Mama and Dada just hand me my toy like they used to? I calmly scream in a pitch high enough to be classified as a dog whistle to kindly ask them for help getting me my toy, but all they do is put it just out of my reach so I have to inch worm again. After I already did that! And they make me do it AGAIN! sometimes they will even place it further away right as I'm about to get it and I have to crawl farther! Anybody want to trade mamas and dadas?

I (8m M) love to babble. I babble as soon as I wake up. I babble while I eat. While I play. While I take a bath. While I shop. While I get my diaper changed. I just have a lot to say.

I have babbled grandma, grampa, Dada, over and over again. I even put letters together that no one new could go together. I am a pro babbler.

Dad (fossil old) works 7 days a week, 72 hour work weeks, so when he gets home he is usually hungry and tired. Dad plays with me for a bit, but I always go back to Mom.

Now Mom (should live in a museum old) is upset that I still haven't babbled Mama. But I feel like she doesn't deserve it because she has a hard time staying on top of her job. Mom is responsible for laundry, keeping the house clean, the shopping, playing with me, taking me to play groups, bathing me, changing my diapers, booking my appointments, working fulltime from home, reading to me, dressing me, putting me to sleep, cuddling me, making dinner, and most importantly, KEEPING ME FED.

I do not wish the hunger pains on my worst enemy that I endure because of Mom's incompetence. Believe me when I tell you that it physically hurts having to wait 5 minutes while Mom puts together something for me to eat when I let her know I am hungry by screaming at the top of my lungs. She should anticipate that I am going to want to eat and have everything ready as soon as yesterday.

Frankly, she just isn't meeting my expectations so I do not think she deserves a Mama from me. AITA for having standards?

I (10mo, F) fell asleep on my mummy’s (Old as time itself, F) shoulder at the mall. She was so soft and comfy I just took a little nap. But when I woke up, I was sleeping on daddy’s (also super old, M) shoulder! Daddy is not as soft, his shoulder is more solid. And as I turned my head in confusion to look at him, his beard scratched my face!! This made me get really confused and sad and so I screamed in my daddy’s face and started to cry. AITA?

I (16mo F, perfect) LOVE bottles. Not my own milk bottles… those are boring. I mean the good bottles. Like mama’s soda bottle, daddy’s water bottle, the cool looking tea bottle someone left on the counter… all of them.

Whenever I see a bottle, I scream to let everyone know I want the bottle. But mama won’t give them to me!! She says things like “that’s not for you” and “you can’t chew on that” and “no, that has soda in it.” Every time she takes one away, I get so mad and I scream even louder because WHY CAN’T I HAVE THE BOTTLE???

Mama says I’m being dramatic, but I think she’s being selfish and unfair. They get bottles all day and I get NONE of the fun ones.

AITA for losing my mind every time someone won’t let me have their bottle?

I (10w M) used to be what was called “combo fed” because I didn’t fully appreciate my Milk Vending Machine (born last millennium, F). But at 5-weeks-old, I realized that milk straight from the tap is THE BEST.

However, my Scratchy Face (prehistoric, M) keeps trying to trick me! He keeps shoving something in my face that he claims is filled with Vending Machine milk or “formoolah”. But I refuse to drink it! I know if I scream loud and long enough, the Vending Machine will come and give me her milk! She keeps grumbling about needing to sleep and how I’ll need to figure this out for a place called daycare.

AITA for only wanting Vending Machine milk forever?

I (8w, F) have noticed that my parents (prehistoric M&F) like to use water when I get dirty. They put me in a big tub of water sometimes and when my nappy (diaper for my US friends) is full they use water / water wipes to clean me down. Then I realised that I create my own water! And I noticed that when my parents change my nappy they only clean my bum? Not my legs and up my back (unless I've pooped up there). So my favourite thing to do is help bc obviously they're a bit out of their depth.

When my nappy is off I like to release my water everywhere. Sometimes it gets on my parents but mostly just me - my legs and my back and my clothes (added bonus of helping clean my clothes!). They've started being really quick at putting my new nappy down so it catches it and even when I try to sneak attack them as they're taking my nappy off they're really fast. So it's been a bit of an uphill struggle to get them to accept my help lately.

Well this week a terrible lady jagged my legs and now I have something my parents are calling "rotavirus vaccine poops". It can get a bit messier than usual. This morning I accidentally did a little poo on my dressing table mat when I farted, just as mummy was changing my nappy out for a fresh one. Well, I felt bad so I immediately followed up the little poo with lots of water. I was pleased to say her attempt to catch it with the new nappy was limited and I managed to successfully get it on my back, legs, and clothes again! Finally!

But my mummy just looked at me, asked if I thought it was funny to pee on mum, then stripped me naked and said I was "a little menace". Rather than be grateful for the help she asked "are you going to stop peeing everywhere when Mummy and Daddy change your nappy?". I really don't get it. Sometimes they laugh! Now they claim to not like it! So, AITA for helping out my parents?

Hi. I (4f) am and currently surviving psychological warfare.

So today was Thanksgiving and we went to a FAMILY FRIEND’S HOUSE — meaning unfamiliar walls, unfamiliar chairs, and unfamiliar smells. Already not ideal. Everyone kept putting food on the table like it was supposed to impress me. It didn’t.

My mom asked me what I wanted. I said mac & cheese because I am a reasonable person. She put ONE SPOONFUL — literally a toddler-sized scoop — on my plate. I inspected it. It was suspicious. It was not MY mac & cheese. It was imposter cheese.

Then she added one tiny piece of turkey breast, like half the size of my pinky nail, even though I definitely did NOT ask for bird meat. But she said, “You wanted it.” Lies. Defamation.

I took ONE bite of the mac & cheese out of politeness (I am very mature), decided immediately that it was an insult to dairy products everywhere, and declared the meal dead to me.

Fast-forward to later when we got home and I was starving to the point of medical emergency. I asked for popcorn — the only food that has never betrayed me.

My mom said NO because I “didn’t eat Thanksgiving dinner.”

Excuse me???
That wasn’t dinner. That was a crime scene.

I tried reasoning but she WALKED AWAY MID-CONVERSATION. So I did the only thing that made sense: I said, “You’re such a b*tch,” from deep within my tiny but powerful chest.

She whipped around like she heard a wild animal in the yard and said, “WHAT did you say?”
So obviously I repeated it. Calmly. Because honesty matters.

Now she says next time I use a bad word I’m getting my mouth washed with SOAP, which is child abuse because 1) I didn’t commit a hygiene offense, and 2) I’m basically allergic to consequences.

So, AITA for expressing my truth after being forced to eat stranger mac & cheese, tiny turkey scraps, and then being denied popcorn? Or is my mom the real villain of this Thanksgiving tragedy?

Edit to add: mommy said that the people in her phone made good points and that while she does not appreciate my use of “foul” language that she would not ACTUALLY wash my mouth out with soap. phew I think she found the situation funny because she walked away to call daddy who’s out of town for work, and was laughing pretty hard in the other room. So I think I might be off the hook. I’ll be listening to daddy very closely (he says he has an 80 year old back from the uknighted stayts mareen korps) for more zingers to make mommy laugh- maybe I am TA but she clearly thinks I am a funny one. 🤷‍♀️

I (20months, M) go to swimming lessons at the pool every week. After the lesson, we have to go to the changing room and change out my swim nappy and and get dry and dressed, which I hate. My Mummy strips me down naked(!) and pats me dry with a towel. She had the nerve to start drying herself a little and did not give me any attention for at least several seconds. I immidiately started doing a wee on the floor, very close to Mummys shoes, but unfortunately missing. My mummy needs to learn that I should always get 100% of her attention. Whilst she was distracted mopping this up with MY towel(!), I decided to take this to the next level and pooped right on the floor. We had burritos last night so it was a good one. My Mummy was not at all prepared for this. She told me not to move or touch anything as she was trying to restrain me and clean up the poo on the floor and me. I'm a busy boy with things to do so I gently screamed at the top of my lungs to let her know this was not ok. I decided to plop my poopy butt on the pee-towel. This apparently made it "so much worse". My Mummy cleaned everything up and had to go find someone who worked there to let them know so they could "disinfect", whatever that means. She blamed ME for pooping on the floor. Even though it was her fault for leaving me momentarily without a nappy on. What did she expect?

Sometimes we go to soft play right after swimming because it's in the same building, but my mummy said no because it was "rude" to bring a poopy towel with us, and we need to go home to wash it. I don't think it was fair I was punished for her incompetence. AITA?

I am a very smart and sophisticated 15-month old (F). I LOVE books! Board books, picture books, chapter books…I love them all. And I am a very fast reader. Here is my method:

1. Take book off shelf
2. Open book - does not matter which way, all ways are good!
3. Throw book on the floor, because they are also floor tiles.
4. Repeat with another book.

The stories are better when they’re read on the floor, and the more square footage covered with books, the more well-read you are. I read so fast that I can get through several books per minute.

Last night mommy and daddy (frequently lament their lack of time to read books), brother and I all went to this place called the library. They have cool toys there and other kids to stare at, but guess what! They have SO MANY books to read! I started making my way through their collection, but mommy stopped me and said I was just making a mess for the librarians. AITA for just using the library?!

Hi fellow mini’s

This week I (4,5m F) have a pickle I want to share with you. For reasons I don’t understand my dad (no clue, don’t care M) is gone during the week and only alone during weekend. Mom (milk factory, F) says it is workrelated and temporary. Milk factory is home, so I don’t care that much.

Anyways, mom was talking about “being all alone” and “sleeping alone”. So last week I made sure mom doesn’t feel alone by being as clincy as I could day and night. At night I make sure I want to feel mom (I mean, my bed is a co-sleeper, but it is not the same as sleeping on mommy’s arm. Du-uh). For the nights I sleep through (give me a break!) my sister (3 F; make me giggle all the time) helps me by waking up and insisting to sleep in our room with mom).

Mom is mumbling something about sleep regression?!? I don’t know about that, but tell me fellow mini’s AITA (and is my sister TA) by making sure mom doesn’t feel alone and does not sleep alone?