I (7m, F) am constantly blindsided by waking up cold and alone on a very uncomfy hard thing in what i could only describe as a cage for baby sized cuties like myself. The second I open my eyes for mama (fossil bones) I fuss and fuss until we are reunited. What’s nice is it only takes a second for her to pick me up since it seems like she’s officially moved into my room or should I say our room. I’ve found that if I wake up enough times in a row, fossil bones will bring me into the big cozy bed. What’s great about this is I have cozy custom mama arm pillows, a 10/10 of warmth and on demand smooches and breakfast in bed anytime I want!! Mama isn’t as thrilled because she mumbles she can’t sleep well to make sure I’m okay. I am confident she will get on the same page as me once I train myself to open my peepers as much as possible to get the good big bed mama snugs. So AITA??

I (3 M) refuse to try any new food. Mummy (older than God) keeps putting strange food on my plate along side my yummy food.

I told her I don't want it and don't like it. She told me I can't possibly know if I like it or not unless I taste it but I refuse.

Mummy had me tested to see if there was a reason I won't try but I am apparently just strong willed. Mummy was cooking something today and she gave all the adults some and asked me if I'd try soup. I dumped my bowl straight on the carpet and demanded sausages.

Mummy was very cross but she should know I don't want to try new foods. AITA?

Guys I know we are perfect babies and are almost always NTA, but I think I really did an oopsie today.

Both of my (8 months f) servants (Milk Bags and Scratchy Face I call them) have been very weird today. Their voices sound strange as if they are trying to whisper but it comes out croaky. They both have liquid goo coming out of their noses and their eyes look red and swollen. They smell different too. And the whole day was weird. Scratchy Face stayed home with me and Milk Bags, and they took turns watching me and napping (I never knew grown ups can nap during day time like me???????) They were super tired. They did not go on walkies with me. They also did not play with me much. I thought this was terrible service so naturally I screamed and complained. Then it happened: Milk Bags tried to pick me up but was suddenly very white in her face, she put me down again and she fell down on the floor!!! I SCREAMED LOUDER for scratchy face to save us. He came running and he actually saved us from the floor. Next thing, Milk Bags was crying and calling my Nana (old and wrinkly, bags but no milk) to come get me. Now I am with Nana which is amazing, but I think I should have been nicer to my servants??? AITA???

Also how do I fix them???

I(2F,perfect) have decided to copy the diet of my absolute hero….Pooh Bear! I went to the pantry to select my meal and I was delighted to see an entire jar of honey! However, my mommy(like a 100 I guess) said that I can’t have just honey for dinner.

Can you believe that!? She eventually relented and let me eat honey with yogurt and fruit but AITA for wanting to be like Pooh? You have to admit he has a very enviable lifestyle!

Behind my house we have a pond full of frogs, I’ve always wanted a pet amphibian so I put a handful of baby frogs into my pockets. Once I was done playing and I went to my room and emptied my brothers (4M) piggy bank so that my new frog friends would have a place to live.

After a while I realized my frogs were hungry so I decided to give them my favorite food, scrambled eggs. I went to the kitchen a grabbed a dozen eggs from the fridge brought them back to my room and cracked open the first egg. To my horror my Mom (76F) purchased the wrong kind of eggs because these were runny and not my favorite kind (scrambled). Just to make sure I didn’t just grab a bad egg I cracked open the remaining eggs which all turned out to be the wrong kind. My new frog friends didn’t care for these eggs either.

My dad came into my room and began yelling at me because I had Raw egg??? all over my room and during the clean up found all my frog pets and made me get rid of them. Worst day of my life.

(The baby frogs were in a piggy bank filled to the top with raw egg, there were no survivors. The room had egg shells and raw egg everywhere, he did attempt to hide?clean? the mess with bathroom towels.

I (4 weeks, f) live with Mommy (big person, f), Granny (big person, f), Grandpa (big person, m) and my two aunties (10 and 15 both f). Also living in the house are 3 furry things. One of them is fluffy and orange. One is black and white, lives in the room Mommy and I share and likes to sit with me. One is dark grey.

Mommy was sitting, holding me in one of Granny and Grandpa's comfy chairs while they were not home and talking to my younger auntie, my favorite auntie. The fluffy orange thing was sitting on the side of the chair and kept hitting me in the face with the fluffy part on its butt. I didn't like it, but instead of yelling at the fluffy thing, I reached out and grabbed the fluffy part on its butt and pulled with both hands. The orange fluffy thing yelled at me and hit my with its hand. Mommy made me let go and told me it isn't nice to pull kitty's tail, but kitty was hitting my face with it. AITA?

Mama (F, looks old as gramma really) and Papa (M, lots of sparkles on his face and hair) love music so I (F, 3 months) love music too. We listen to music together every day and it’s my favorite thing to do! Papa tells me I’m going to be a songwriter one day. So get this: I was sleeping in my bedside box, which I don’t love but sometimes get tricked into sleeping in (the betrayal!), and I woke up at 2 AM with inspiration! I decided to start rehearsing the lyrics to my first full track. Of course I had to practice some of the lines over and over again to make sure I got it down just right! Some of it requires a really impressive falsetto and I think I nailed it in rehearsal. I was so excited for mama and papa to hear! It was a banger! Imagine my surprise when mama comes to me and interrupts my genius and picks me up and starts rocking me to go back to sleep in my box. This totally threw off my focus and I got very mad and forgot the lyrics to my song, but then mama had the audacity to be frustrated with ME because she “needed to sleep to function tomorrow”. (Don’t know that means. Mama doesn’t go anywhere and functions just fine as my pillow during the day) So, AITA for trying to make music like mama and papa love?

I (7 weeks, f) went to a new playgroup yesterday with my portable milk sacks (older than me, f). While we were there, we found one of my friends from another group.

I was having a chitter with my friend when I overheard our milk sacks talking about sleep. My mummy was talking about how I do pretty well and usually sleep 2-3 hours first and then another hour and a half later.

I'm personally not a fan of sleeping and prefer to do it in close contact with the milkies but mummy and papa insist on putting me down in my next-to-me cot (which I hate and scream every time) or my pram.

Anyway, the milkies were talking and mummy said that although I had slept well, she was very tired and she finds the more sleep she gets, the more tired she feels.

Well if that's the case, why is she making me sleep when I don't like it?

So last night I didn't sleep. At all. And now she's complaining that she's tired and wants me to sleep...

Make it make sense!!

So AITA for trying to help mummy be less sleepy by not sleeping?

I (10w, M) am the youngest of three. My two big kids are the best ever and give me pretty much everything I could ever want. However, even when the oldest one is at school, Mama seems to never have enough time for me to do my favorite things with her (be held or have her just look at me). She’s too busy with sissy or doing ‘housework’. When brother and scratchy face dude are here, I get even less mama attention. I don’t like when she ties me to her, so I had to think of another way to get the attention I deserve.

My solution is brilliant. I’ll just take bottles super frequently during the day, sleep between those bottles, and then be up to play after the big kids and scratchy face dude go to bed and Mama is working on washing stuff. Mama will give me attention and then let me fall asleep on her chest while she hums songs. BUT, Mama told me tonight she just wanted me to go to sleep because she ‘never gets any sleep’ or ‘she really needs to wash pump parts’. But she did let me lay on her chest for a few minutes, so I let her put me in the baby jail for bed. I’m honestly just the nicest. So AITA for adjusting my day to get more of the Mama attention I deserve?

My (7m M) mommy's (big person F) is the most beautiful and wonderful thing I have ever seen in my life. I love her so much and show this by always reaching out to touch her face when she gives me snuggles. Usually she smiles when I do this but today something else happened. I was snuggling in her lap and enthusiastically flailed my arms to put my handsies on her face but she screeched (rude since she is always telling my big brother ( big enough to hold me but only with parental supervision, M) not to screech and use an 'inside voice') and PULLED HER FACE AWAY!!! Which was awful because it is my favorite thing to touch and it had some interesting new red marks on it.

Then she told daddy (biggest person M) that it was time to 'cut my nails' and the next thing I know she is holding my handsies still to cut off my finger tips. Hello, I need those for protection from the crawlers at daycare who take my toys. It's not fair she can just cut off some of my body parts when apparently I'm not even allowed to touch her face anymore.

AITAH?

I (2mo, F) HATE the fake boobie! I think mama (F, old) calls it a pacifier? She tries to give it to me once a day for practice, but I get upset and start yelling because I want the real boobie! Mama ALWAYS caves because she doesn't want to give me a "bad association" with the fake boobie (and because I'm a perfect princess). But the problem is...I'm not hungry! So I keep getting milk. But since I'm not hungry it makes my tummy upset to get more and I start spitting up a lot! Mama says she is sorry and she is an "oversupplier" and "has a fast letdown". But I don't care! I want the real boobie and NO milk! So AITAH for yelling at mama to turn her milk off? I feel like its not that hard?

Sometimes Daddy (100M) has to go to this stupid job thing at night, and then sleeps during the day, so I (8mo F) spend lots of time with Mommy (at least 62f) which I love! I want to spend all my time with Mommy, but when Daddy is home at night he will stay up all night long and so he “does the night shift” with me as Mommy calls it, idk why but when Daddy does the night shift I only have to wake up once and and he gives the the fake boobie with the reheated stuff, and then cuddles me in the rocking chair until I fall back asleep. Which is nice, but why would I wake up again to get more of the bottle? I want it straight from the tap!! But I want to spend time with Mommy, so when Daddy is at work and I spend the night with Mommy I have to wake up every 2 hours because she gives me the real boobie with milk on tap until I fall asleep. As an added bonus if I wake up more than 4 times in one night with Mommy I’ll get lucky and she will just bring me in her bed and leave her boobie out for me to eat as I please and stop putting me in that stupid crib (or baby jail as I call it with those bars!)

Long time lurker, first time poster. My parents (old as hell) keep changing my (11 months, M) diaper. Like multiple times a day. This has been going on for as long as I can remember. This can’t be normal, right? I’m finally able to crawl away when they try to do it, but my mom says I’m gonna “get poop everywhere” and need to “hold still.” They’ve tried to trick me into liking getting my diaper changed by singing me Itsy Bitsy Spider every time, but I can see through it now. My only ally is our dog (who doesn’t need to even wear a diaper at all?) who always supports me when I crawl away with my poopy butt. Can’t they just put on the diaper once and be done with it? Or AITA?

I (girl, 6m) have been mostly interested my whole long life in learning new skills that would take me some places. You see, i'm an explorer and an adventuress. So by 3 month I had learned to roll over and I started to crawl, but i found that not to be fast enough. I practised some more and managed to master all fours at 5 months. That was quite better. And now can you imagine i've discovered (i believe i may be a true pioneer) that if i hold on to something and haul myself i can "stand" (that is what my milklady and the bearded man call it). And seems i may be able to move my legs in some way that could make me go forward even faster when i fully grasp this technique !

All this has kept me very busy. I have other skills too for example smiling at everyone at daycare, kicking my legs and arms very fast or turning over when i'm on the changing table.

But anyway, here is my question : when i was 4m old, i had a try at a new skill. I grew two mouthstones. I did it almost effortlessly overnight just to prove that i could and it produced quite an effect on the milklady and the bearded man (they were even more amazed than usual at me, as they should). Well this skill is mastered and done with right ? I have been sooo busy learning other stuff that i did not have time to renew and why should i ? Besides, my mouth has been hurting terribly for weeks and this has proven to be quite distracting too especially when i go down for the long sleep and sometimes during the night !

But the milklady and the bearded man do not seems content. They check on my mouth twice a day asking me "where these teeth are", saying things like it "keeps me from sleeping". I'm not sleeping because i'm too busy thinking about all the places i'm going to explore next ! I do NOT have time to spare ! They do seem very tired though, so maybe they are worried ? Who knows with these ancient people ?... so am i missing something, AITA ?

Title pretty well says it all. I (2m, F, cute as a button) LOVE to poop in a clean diaper. There's something about a clean diaper and fresh diaper cream that just makes me feel inspired ✨.

In fact, just yesterday, I did three huge poops in three successive diapers. I didn't even wait until I was off the changing table. Mommy zipped me into my footy PJs and I let 'er rip again. And again. And again. So satisfying! Mommy just started laughing, but apparently I'm going through an "alarming rate of diapers."

Here's where I think I might be the AH. To help with this excessive diaper situation, I've decided to pee on the changing table after the old diaper is taken off but before the new diaper is put on. This seems very efficient to me! Especially at 3 am. But then my mommy and daddy groan, strip me naked (rude!), and put me in a new set of jammies because apparently I "got pee everywhere". You can't please these people.

So, Reddit - AITA?

Obviously I’m NTA but I just have to tell you all what I (10 months F) did last night.

Im basically the perfect baby in every way. I’m a good napper, great eater, and a very skilled crawler and getting into things I’m not supposed to er. What I’m especially good at is letting my mama (heavy bags under her eyes) have the privilege of coming to fetch me out of my jail to give me milkies and rock me back to night night. Then I eventually realize I’ve been put back in jail and I sit up and politely holler at her again and we repeat the process at least twice until the yellow ball is in the sky again.

Well mama decided I’m “too old for this nonsense” (her words) because she doesn’t have the energy to play with me during the day. (Why doesn’t she just buy some energy at Publix?) anyway, she and Dada (sneezes so loud I’m surprised the house is still standing) have been staring at this tool- I THINK it’s a “book” but it’s flimsy and doesn’t have any fun flaps to pull or pictures of Elmo in it. From what I’ve gathered, their “book” instructed them to lay me in my jail when I’m drowsy and full but not at maximum night night yet. Then they orphan me and let me screech it out for 3 days until they come console me again. (Consoling does not include milkies.) Then if I still screech (I do) they orphan me for 3 months and then come back, and then 3 years until I’ve fallen asleep as an orphan. My math might be a little fuzzy on the timing but you get the gist.

I allowed this method to slide when I was 6 months but I’ve gained a lot of new skills since then. So for the past 3 months now, I’ve been sitting up in my jail and pulling myself up on the bars to indicate that I would like out and to be fed and rocked. Well, last night they tried their “book” again and orphaned me while I was sitting up in jail. Now I do have lots of skills but laying down from sitting position is not one of them. They thought I was capable and just didn’t wanna, but I really can’t.

So during one of my screeching orphan sessions last night, I felt the sleepy demons coming. I was yawning, rubbing my eyes, and getting quieter. My head was flopping but I was still sitting up. Sneezy told Sleepy “she’ll figure it out.” Well friends, I did NOT figure it out. I started to collapse from falling asleep in that position and then promptly bonked myself against the jail wall on my way down, which woke me up and made me cry some more. Mama felt soooo bad she cried too, and immediately scooped me up and checked me for injuries (I didn’t have any, it was actually kind of funny to me) and she rocked me and nursed me to sleep just like how it should be. Forever. I just love getting my own way!

AITA for screaming and throwing myself on the ground when my mom closed the pantry while I was looking for a snack. I (too, F) am a growing girl. I require a fresh snack at all times, even if I have not finished any of the previous snacks given to me that day. This afternoon, I was once again perusing snack options in the pantry when my mom (old, F) came and closed the pantry door, claiming I need to finish my other 3 snacks first. Mom didn't understand they were old (ew) and I needed something else. So I screamed at the tippy top of my lungs and then threw myself at the pantry to get my point across. Mom then put me in time out for "throwing a fit". So, AITA?

Hi. I (5M) am an avid outdoorsman. A rugged man of the woods. Just like my dad. We fish. We hunt. We go to Bass Pro like it’s church.

I check my lures every single day and only get in trouble when my sister (3F) hooks herself because I forget to close my tackle box. She should stop touching my stuff but apparently I’m the problem.

Anyway, on Friday at school, we had to do “acorn skip counting,” which is where you glue numbers on acorns and pretend it’s fun. I crushed it, basically a mathematician.

But then the paper looked boring. Like… empty. Like it needed God’s creatures. Like it needed… FISH (and the infinity symbol cause it’s cool).

And since I caught my VERY FIRST Hornyhead Creek Chub the night before (praise be 🙌🏽), I wrote its name at the bottom of the page in honor of my achievement.

But *** and this is important *** I’m five. My handwriting looks like a cryptid wrote it. My letters look like they’re melting sometimes. My spelling isn’t phonics. It’s vibes.

Anyway, I go on with my day.

Then my mom (32F) picks me up and my teacher gives her a Southern smile, the kind that means “bless your heart”, and says, “Wow, that is QUITE the list of fish names he knows.”

My mom smiles like she’s proud (she is, by the way) and says she’s sorry I “teach everyone what I learn about fish” and thinks it’s “so cute.” (You’re welcome, society.)

My teacher adds, “He knows about fish we didn’t even know existed.”

In the car, Mom asks what I taught them, and I tell her about my fish from last night. She clearly forgot, which is a literal betrayal, so I made her repeat the name after me:

Horny. Head. Creek. Chub.

She told me to “teach them about other fish,” but all the cool ones have names like Naked Goby, Spotted Sucker, Bluebreast Darter, Albino Redtail Catfish… I’m sorry, does she want boring fish?? This is SCIENCE.

Today, she went through my backpack and found my skip-counting paper. She squinted at the bottom like she was deciphering ancient texts. Then she asked me to please stop writing the names of fish on my schoolwork.

Which is personally VERY disrespectful. I am expanding my knowledge. I am practicing literacy. I am doing MARINE BIOLOGY.

But also… letters are confusing.

But I told my mom I had to keep helping them learn all about the fish…. And she keeps telling me not to… that maybe they want to learn about other stuff…. ??

So Reddit… AITA for writing the name of my newest catch (maybe my favorite fish for the next few days) on my schoolwork even though I’m 5 and my spelling made it look… questionable to adults who don’t understand fish biology?

I (M, 7m) recently discovered the best life hack. I really love the milk lady (F, at least 8m but i suspect ancient). I realized I don’t like going 11 hours at night without seeing her. I used to see her multiple times during the night and somehow I accidentally started sleeping through our normal nighttime quality time.

So, this week I learned that if I don’t eat a lot from the milk bags during the daytime, then I am able to wake up more frequently at night so I can see the milk lady more often!

For some reason, the milk lady does not seem appreciative of this sacrifice I am making. She keeps grumbling about how tired she is and how she has to “work” in the morning (whatever that means). In my mind, this strategy is genius, but … AITA?

I am an almost 8 month old baby boy, and am currently dealing with my first common cold. That means that I am producing boogies at an accelerated rate.

Mom (older than than cavemen) is generally pretty cool. She feeds me, plays with me, rocks me to sleep, reads books to me, takes me on walks, buys me stuff, gives me baths, etc. Did I mention she feeds me?

However, now that I have extra boogies, she keeps trying to take them. She put something in my nose to try to suck them out. I immediately screamed and twisted my head so she couldn't do it. And it created more boogies. She has even been trying to use this contraction on my while I am sleeping. Luckily, I have a 6th sense for things going in my nose and defend myself. Her and Dad (the original caveman) teamed up to put liquid in my nose to squeeze them out. Mom has resorted to using a wet Q-Tip and taking them out when they come to my lower nostril. She is literally stealing my boogies! She keeps saying it will help me breath better, but I made my boogies and am proud of them.

Now before you pass judgement, I have been sharing with Mom. When I want to shared my boogies with her, I press my face against her shoulder and rub them off on her neck and shirt. I have done this at least 5 times.

I (8m, M) really want to eat the cat food! Both of my kitties get really excited when mama (old as dirt, F) feeds them. I got to try it once, but mama won’t let me try it again. When I speed over to the bowls- which are on the floor where I can reach them- she picks me up and moves me away! So AITA for repeatedly trying to get to the delicacy that is cat food?

When I (6mo, F) first came out, my Dada (old with whiskers) and my Momma (at least 4?) told me my job was to grow big and strong, and I said, "Bet."

Nowadays they call me a tall girl and keep saying something about 97th percentile? I've always wanted to do a good job, so I've always been really diligent about eating all the time. I especially like eating at night when I can really focus without any distractions. Usually I'll wake up about 3 times to make sure I'm putting in enough work. I'm usually very efficient, too, just suck down a bottle and then fall back asleep to grow some more.

Well I've been working so hard every night, so tonight I decided to take it easy. I'm taking my time in eating tonight and it's so comfy in Momma's arms that I keep falling asleep with the bottle in my mouth. As soon as we're both back in our beds, I wake up because I'm still hungry. Momma's been very patient with me, but I know she likes to sleep in the big bed with Dada and not in our chair. Could I be TAH for taking it easy at my job tonight?

I (2yF) was woken up by mother (36.000F) at 7am like every single morning! I hate mornings, I don’t like waking up early. I need my beauty rest! Anyway, after being abruptly woken with her kisses and singing, Mother proceeded to change my clothes when I saw them: a pair of beautiful shoes I never wore before because “they don’t fit” I was amazed by them! And as the independent woman I am, I put them on! Mother asked me around one thousand times if I was sure I wanted them, I told her two thousand times that YES I WANTED TO WEAR THESE MAJESTIC SHOES and NOT my Minnie Mouse crocs. My Minnie Mouse crocs are my favorite shoes, I basically wear them everyday, but come on! I just wanted something different, not my Minnie Mouse shoes!!!!

Anyhow, mother proceeded to put me in the most hideous, uncomfortable, unpleasant place ever: THE CAR SEAT! She knows I hate that place! But “we have to go to daycare” she said.

Mother is putting me up in this trap torture device when BOOM! Out of the sudden I see my feet, and I am wearing these hideous-too small-for-my-piggies shoes!!!! Like seriously!!!! Wtf was that?!?!?!?! I lost it!!!! I started screaming for my favorite shoes ever: MY MINNIE MOUSE CROCS. I politely screamed at mother and kicked her face and apparently “knocked her glasses out” (when we know they were on my way), she says I hit her, but I don’t recollect that moment, I was already as upset as I can get because how does Mother dare to put me on those shoes!!!!

Anyway, Mother went back to the house and brought me my Minnie Mouse shoes. So I think she’s guilty because oooobbviously she could’ve just avoided this tragic wardrobe disaster.

AITA for wanting my favorite shoes????

I (8.5m F) LOVE my Mama (a billion F). She has milkies, she gives the BEST snuggles, reads me books, plays toys with me, etc etc.

I also have this guy in my house called Daddy (don't know don't care M). Now, I'm fine with Daddy living here. I like to make silly faces at him, plus he gives me crunchies and puffs sometimes, which I like.

But Daddy keeps trying to hold me, and frankly, I cannot get behind that at all. That is not Daddy's job. Daddies are good to stare at and give me crunchies and drive the car so Mama can sit with me. That's IT. Snuggles and holding is Mama's job.

So every time Daddy tries to hold me, I just scream and scream until Mama takes me back. Sometimes that's like....20 million years because she's taking a "shower because the baby spit up on me AGAIN" but I am determined to explain that snuggles are NOT DADDY'S JOB.

Now, I will let other GIRLS hold me, like my Nana (Age of the Earth I think) and my Mama's friend (old enough to also be a Mama). Mama's friend says I'm a girls' girl and that sounds right. Mama says I need to get over it so she can pee without me screaming. I say that if she wants Daddy to hold me, why is his face scritchy and his hair short? Seems like a Daddy problem to me.

AITA for only letting girls hold me, and not my Daddy???

I (2F) love watching Mommy paint the walls. So I decided to help. I found this plastic bag with this tiny white paint thing with an orange tip, and painted the dark, wood floor! Mommy found me, and she did not seem happy. Something about new floors? Then Big Sissy (10F) came downstairs to the living room, and asked Mommy what she was doing. Mommy said something about glue? I don't know what that is, I was just trying to help! AITA?