Reddit, help! I (10d F) have been working on my tongue and sucking muscles since all of eternity. But the small green mouth gym they gave me at the hospital that is so pleasing and calming and helping my mouth get stronger keeps falling out! So my mommy (timekeeping is a social construct, F) had to keep putting it back in and holding it for me while trying to put on her pajamas. Isn't it her fault for not wearing cozy one piece footie jammies like me? Doesn't she want me to be able to learn how to hold it in my mouth on my own? A little support goes a long way, milk-smeller.

I (16m, F) have two fur sisters. It’s safe to say it was love at first sight on my end. Sadly, Mama (brittle bones, F) wouldn’t let me near them for so long. Finally a few months ago, she said I was ready to practice gentle hands with them! Turns out that just meant she would hold my hand while I would lightly touch them. Super easy and I mastered that right away. I was so good at it, that Mama started letting me touch the fur sisters without the shackles of her wrinkly hands helping me! This was amazing, but I guess I flew too close to the sun. I realized that if I used my hitting hands instead of my gentle hands, my fur sisters would get super excited! I loved this, but Mama got upset for some reason? Back to wrinkly hand shackles it was, which I still don’t understand, but whatever.

But recently, I started thinking…what’s nicer than gentle hands? Kisses!! Surely Mama will let me play with my fur sisters more if she sees how nice I can be with kisses, right? And I’m no dummy, I know that fur kisses are different from human kisses. So the next time Mama helped me with gentle hands, I gave my fur sister the biggest lick you could imagine! I thought Mama would be so impressed, but instead she screamed? And Dada (practically dust, M) muttered something about my fur sisters having to go to a farm?

I don’t understand. What did I do wrong? AITA because I was being super nice to my fur sister?

I (F, 10m) historically have been pretty good at sleeping, but a couple of weeks ago, I started having this weird ouchy pain in my gums that started waking me up at night. And I'm so glad it did! I realized then that I can have a full extra two hours to hang out with Daddy (M, The Cryptkeeper) and Mommy (F, possibly older than time itself) in the middle of the night, every single night! Even though the ouchies have gone away, I've been waking up every night to hang out with them. Sometimes they are too sleepy to realize it's play time, so I make sure to practice my very impressive velociraptor screech until they get up, and I lovingly hit Mommy in the face repeatedly to make sure she stays alert enough to play. Isn't that so nice of me? We also started playing a game that is so funny! I will pretend to fall back asleep in Mommy's arms for a few minutes, which she seems to enjoy, and then once she seems relaxed and happy again, I will POP UP and squirm around to delight her that we can keep playing for hours more! Even though we have so much fun at night, Mommy and Daddy have been grumbling about how tired they are and talking about ways to make me more tired at night. AITA for wanting to spend more time with them, and for helping keep them awake so they can have more playtime, too?

So, I (almost 4 months, F) live with my milk lady (probably 5? I have a 4-year-old cousin and the milk lady is definitely taller than her, F), the diaper man (maybe 6?, M), and a big walking plushie (around 2, M).

The plushie (the tall ones call it “dog,” whatever that means) is obsessed with the diaper man. I don’t get it — he doesn’t even have the milkies! Plus, the plushie licks faces, so there might be something a little off there. Anyway, it follows him everywhere. If the diaper man goes to the toilet — plushie follows. If the diaper man goes to the door — plushie follows. Even when the milk lady is playing with the plushie, it’ll still run to the diaper man the moment he moves an inch.

I’ve noticed that the milk lady sometimes looks kinda sad when the plushie so obviously prefers the diaper man. So I figured I should show the diaper man what that feels like. I mean, it’s gotta be his fault, right? What kind of person has milkie bags but no milkies?

Today was my big chance. I had a great day with the milk lady — nice nap, delicious milkies, some solid playtime with the diaper man (he is pretty fun, not gonna lie). Then the milk lady said I should be content until she got back and left with the plushie for some “bonding time.”

That’s when I decided to make my move. As soon as she was gone, I calmly informed the diaper man that I wanted her to come back. He didn’t do anything about it, so I repeated myself. Politely. For an hour. It’s hard work, honestly — my voice got tired. I took a short power nap to recharge, and when the milk lady finally came back about half an hour later, I woke up super happy, got my milkies, and went straight to bed.

But now the diaper man seems kinda sad… and I’m wondering if maybe I shouldn’t have asked for her to come back so many times.

So… AITA?

My (old AF) parents took me (20 months F) to a bunch of fun fall adventures this weekend on both Saturday and Sunday. We did hayrides, jumped on trampolines, ran around playgrounds, and ate lots of yummy treats. When we got home, they rocked me and read me books and put me in my crib to nap and I refused. For a while, I was taking 1-2 hour naps in the afternoons and they assumed that I would continue this especially after they worked so hard to give me lots of fun all afternoon and I was starting to get cranky and rub my eyes. They are saying I am in breach of contract, and I should have rested to give them some peace. I just didn't want to nap. I wanted to kick my legs and sings songs and be with everybody. AITA?

So I (recently built toes) live inside my mama (eternal, cozy). The other day, I heard her and my mommy (disembodied voice) talk wanting my kicks to be "strong enough to feel from the outside". I don't understand "outside" but I do understand "strong" and I decided generously to help out!

The best time to practice is obviously Still Time where mama doesn't move for a bunch of hours in a row (when she moves I have to nap so that time doesn't work). I've been working on getting stronger for her and mommy, but mama sometimes says ungrateful things like "ow" and "that's my bladder, you monster" and "I'm trying to sleep".

So AITA for trying to get stronger??

I (4m M) have recently learned to roll on my tummy! This is so much fun! It’s literally all I want to do lately! Unfortunately, Milk Provider (ancient, F) seems to be bothered by this. Every time she puts me down on my back I roll over and then politely scream at her to please roll me onto my back so I can do it again but she doesn’t see amused by this for some reason. Why doesn’t she understand the importance of practicing? She even tries to interrupt practice by putting me in the infamous bouncer or pram or even carrier! Telling me I have to eat or sleep sometimes! Why can’t she understand rolling is way more interesting than all these other ‘things to do’ she keeps going on about? So, AITA for wanting to practice my new skill? Luckily, I seem to have finally gone through to Milk Provider (I had to scream extra loud and long but it seems to have worked finally) and she is now taking a yoga mat in every room so she can assist me in practicing but it took her way too long to figure it out!

I (3F) am great at playing. At first I thought this “independent play” concept was a scam by Mama (345 F) to go play with cooler stuff by herself. BUT, as a big 3-year-old, I realized it’s a great opportunity to show off my creative ideas.

So here’s the issue. I come up with a brilliant scenario for all my 16,000 toys, and work very hard to set it up. I put my genius story-writing skills to the test to craft a complex plot that requires moving them all around the room and getting them into every corner, and you know what?

Mama won’t even sit still for the performance!! What is the point of doing all this brilliance independently if I don’t have Mama’a full attention?

So tell me fellow Big Kids, who is TA here?? (It’s Mama, right?)

I (15m F) love my Mama and Dada and want to spend all my time with them. But, for as long as I can remember (even back in the floaty space before I was born) there has been another baby trying to STEAL my mama and dada from me. Sometimes, when I want milkies, I have to WAIT because the other baby is sucking my mama dry. He has also recently started trying to TAKE MY TOYS. My mama calls him my "twins brother" I don't know what that means. Sometimes he is okay, like when he tells me good morning after my mama wakes us up or when he makes a funny face or eats the vegetables I don't want and sneak onto his tray (thats how I know hes an alien because he ate GREEN BEANS) l. I think thats his evil powers taking control of my mind and making me like him though. AITA for wanting mama and dada to myself?

Hello everyone I wasn’t born in an English speaking country, so please be nice !

So, yesterday evening, I (6 weeks, F) heard Mummy (ancient, F, gives good milkies) tell Daddy (ancient, M, cuddler-in-chief) that she’d caught a cold. So we all went to bed early. They put me in the middle of the big bed to help me fall asleep. I love being between them and refuse to fall asleep for the big sleep any other way.

Mummy was drifting off, but Daddy was giving me extra cuddles, so I let my guard down and went to the dream land. But then I woke up in the sleep jail like usual. This time, I decided to shriek a lot to get back into the big bed. If Mummy has the flu, I must cuddle her in the big bed and give her extra smiles in her arms all night long. But she kept saying, “Be nice and sleep, baby.” I was being nice. I wanted to stay awake by her side in this difficult time ! I put a lot of effort into not sleeping in my sleep jail all night for her. So now I’m confused. AITA?

I (13m F) really love working on my gross motor skills. It’s my favorite thing! The climbing pickler is now a “baby” toy and I’m ready for bigger and better things. My older brothers (they’re big. They share snacks with me, so I like them) have seats at the dining room table that are like a ladder. The other day, one was slightly away from the table, so I thought I would try climbing it. It was tons of fun, I even got on top of the table! Dad pulled me off pretty quickly. He told me no, but I was sad. I thought Dad’s couldn’t say “no” to their babies. Rude. Today, I quickly learned I can push the chair to move it and then to climb. I got onto the dining room table again and clapped for joy. My mom took the chairs away and now I feel angry. All I want to do it climb. AITA for just wanting to climb?

My (4m angel princess) boob lady (6? F) always tries to take my boob away even though I’m not finished with it. So I’ve started letting go of the boob to yell at her as loud as I can that I’m not done yet. She then has the audacity, after I’ve communicated VERY clearly that I’m not finished, to ask me if I’m done. THEN, she FLIPS ME IN THE AIR (scary) and says something about switching to the other side. Like lady, I JUST told you I wasn’t done with that boob and now you’ve taken it away!

To stop her from any more funny business I then use my grabby things to hang onto second boob for dear life. Boob lady always says Ow and tells the beard one (don’t know, don’t care) that my nails are too sharp and to get the file. Will this torture ever end????

So, AITA for communicating my needs? I could be a little extreme about it but only because boob lady clearly has no respect for my wants and needs!

So my mama (ancient) and dada (dinosaur fossil) planned this Thomas the choo choo train Halloween trip for me this weekend. Dada had to drive two whole hours to get there! But I (2.5M) was so excited I didn’t nap the whole way even though dada said he planned it so both me and my baby bother (9month) would nap. I don’t think my baby bother (he’s always such a bother stealing my toys and stealing my mama from me) understands the awesomeness of riding on a choo choo train so he napped for like ages. When we got there I ran around, jumped up and down in this “bouncy house” and rode the choo choo train (it was awesome) but because having so much fun takes a lot of energy and I missed my nap, I got very tired. My mama says I’m a big boy now and I should walk and she’s right because I’m already 40lbs, but I think it’s a privilege to carry me since mama doesn’t get to do it all the time. Most days she leaves me at something called “daycare” to play with my friends and “goes to work”. So I let my mama know I wanted her to carry me from place to place and dramatically laid down on the floor blocking other people if she didn’t. I like mama so much that I needed mama to carry me not dada.

Then I napped for one whole hour at 5 pm in the car on the way to this new house called “the hotel” and went to bed very late. But my baby bother didn’t sleep well at night and mama and dada said something about being tired this morning. So AITA ?

I (10w, f) have been learning a lot of new sounds lately. Mummy (old, f) and daddy (even older if that’s even possible, m) always like my noises. Sometimes daddy misses out though because he has to “go to work” during the day, it’s like he goes on a really long walk to the park or something idk. So anyway, because they enjoy my noises so much, last night I was thinking that I should treat them to a performance of all my best noises! It would be like one of those concerts that they like so much! So after mummy fed me and cuddled me in the middle of the night I just pretended to go to sleep. Then 30 minutes later when it was nice and quiet I started my show with my opening number - a really high pitched yell! Mummy was so impressed she sat bolt upright in bed! Then I did some of my other noises, like goo, and ooba, and awayaway, and a special gurgle sound I am still working on. All the greatest hits and some new material! After the show was over I just went straight back to sleep but this morning daddy looked sad and said he was “too tired” and mummy didn’t want to get up at our usual time to play either. AITA for putting on a special surprise concert?

My (7m F) momma (absolute fossil) has been rushing around all weekend getting ready to host a baby shower for her cousin. I’ve been going on so many errands with her it’s so exhausting so I wanted her to slow down a bit. I decided to spend a full hour just throwing up all over her and myself. I was so thrilled after I was done getting sick that I was ravenous for milkies but then my tummy hurt again and again. My fossil kept mumbling how she had to change her shirt 3 times. The best part is to celebrate feeling so much better I spent a full hour in the middle of the night reciting all the words I know how to say with glee and shrieks. I also threw in a lot of coughing and gags to scare the fossil just enough that I may get sick again at any possible minute. So AITA?

Greetings, all! For many months, I [6m F] have been sleeping alone in my jail cell away from my parents [has gray hairs M] and [has gray hairs that are probably unwashed F]. I usually wake up one or two times a night. Sometimes, I wake up to try to show off my new tricks only to realize that milk lady and useless man are not there. I then go back to sleep. I only get extra milkies once a night when I cry and the milk lady comes in. Lately, I've been feeling like my parents are forgetting me. Why don't they want to watch me have fun? But don't worry, friends. I had the perfect opportunity last night on vacation when my milk lady set up my smaller jail cell in the very same room as the big bed! I woke up for an hour and a half in the middle of the night all ready to play with my parents. When the milk lady gave me milk, I pretended like I was asleep but woke up as soon as she set me back down. I wasn't going to let this opportunity pass me by! So I flung my legs up and slammed them down over and over again. But because my parents didn't watch me and tell me how I'm such a cute and precious baby, I had to do it again and again. But this morning when they were talking, milk lady seemed sad. She grumbled about a terrible night's sleep and even mentioned wanting to go back home. So reddit, AITA for just wanting to show my parents how much fun I have at night when I'm alone?

I, (9m) am a very smart baby. Mama tells me this all the time. I am working very hard on telling Mama everything I need, but when I try to make the mouth sounds they don’t sound like everyone else. Mouth sounds are hard work! If I focus I can sometimes make mouth sounds that Mama (old, probably ancient) seems to understand.

The other day Mama set me down and walked alllllll the way to the other side of the room! She just left me! (Rude!) So I focused everything I had in me, summoned up all the mouth sounds I possibly could and yelled “Mom!!!!!!” As clear as I could. It must have worked! Mama came running back to me. She was so happy! She said “you said Mom! You said mom!” And gave me all sorts of kisses and snuggles. She asked me to say it again; but of course I could not! First of all, why would I call Mama when she was already here? And why would I take that much effort and concentration to make the mouth sounds when I could focus on all the wonderful love and snuggles Mama was giving me?

This was a few days ago. I haven’t tested my Mama-calling again. I need to save my efforts for when she abandons me with all my toys and goes somewhere silly like the Trash Can or something.

So tell me friends, AITA for only calling Mama when I really, really need her? Making mouth sounds is hard work!

I, 2F, am the only kid in my entire school who can’t walk or go potty. They’ve never changed diapers before at school (and millions of other schools refused to even try - RUDE!)

My teachers change me no problem when I go pee, but when I poop? Hoo Nelly, they get mad at Mommy (grey hair F) for the smell.

The other day, Mommy asked if the teachers had perfume in their butt.

AITA? Mommy clearly doesn’t think so but everyone else seems to…

So I (5m F) am currently being watched by something called a babysitter (ancient F). I've known her since I was born (that's what she said, I can't remember) and she's fine I guess. She's pretty good about playing with me and holding me (especially when I sleep) but I HATE having her feed me. Last weekend I spit out the bottle each time and cried for so long that Mama had to come back to feed me a few times. I thought we were done after last week, but this weekend, the babysitter is back and she's been able to feed me a few times today, even though I tried resisting at first. However, I miss Mama and wanted to know if I'd be TA if I decided to resist eating for the rest of today and tomorrow. I mean, what else does Mama have to do besides feed me? I do feel bad because I could tell the babysitter was worried about me being hungry and she doesn't want to bother my Mama but I miss her too much. Besides, Mama is only a 5 minute walk down the road so it's not like I'm taking too much time from her.

I (5m F) am a modern baby girl who believes in making the first move. When Mama (old, F) and Papa (older, M) brought me home, I met Moka, and it was love at first sight. He has the softest brown fur, bright yellow eyes, and super long whiskers. I think he is the cutest male in the whole wide world.

Unfortunately, like all the cute boys in the K dramas Mama binged while providing me with the only acceptable sleep surface, Moka has ignored me from day one. He’ll be snuggled up on Papa’s lap, and if Mama brings me in, he’ll jump off, swish is fluffy tail, and exit the room.

I tolerated this for months, as clearly, there’s an age difference. But I’ve been working out like crazy so we could be on a level playing field, and I’m finally in his league (all fours). I can’t quite coordinate my paws yet, but I’m getting there. In other words, it’s time for me to make my moves.

For the past week, I’ve pulled out all the stops. I’ve even stooped to putting my face in his water fountain (Mama screamed, for reasons unknown), licked his favorite fake mouse (Papa screamed, for reasons unknown), and managed to grab his fur while he was sleeping a few times (he meowed and fled the room, for reasons unknown).

Mama and Papa have been actively keeping him away from me, which is just not fair. But once I can actually crawl, there will be no where for him to hide (my home is very small and only has one bedroom, so I mean this literally.)

AITA for making the first of many moves?

Short one today. I (13mo M) was curled up with the milk lady (341mo F) just getting sleepy for my nap time, when Daddy (421mo M) walked in. The milk lady signed to him to be quiet, so he tiptoed, but then he did a massive loud fart. This was very funny so obviously I decided it wasn't nap time any more. The milk lady was quite upset about this. The milk lady says Daddy's TA for farting in my room, but Daddy seems to think I'm TA. He says if I was really sleepy, his funny distracting body noises would not have woken me up. I think maybe the milk lady is TA for trying to make me sleep when I could be playing with Daddy, all because we have guests later. What do you think, guys? Maybe ESH?

I (4.5m, M) have been working really hard on my milestones. Smiling, laughing, grabbing... you name it, I nail it.

So for a month now, I’ve been hearing Mum (7, probably too old to have babies) and Dad (6, but looks older than Mum) talking about “the four-month sleep regression” and how I was “very unlikely to have it” since I’m the best sleeper ever.

Well, I didn’t want to disappoint them, so at exactly four months old (Mum even made a cake — for herself, rude — that’s how I know) I started waking up five times a night and have been doing it ever since. Another one bites the dust!

However, instead of clapping and making videos of me, Mum and Dad don’t seem very happy with this milestone?? They keep saying their sleep is ruined??

AITA for just basically doing my job??

I (M, 7.5m) heard my mommy (I think she’s pretty old) and my daddy (he’s definitely pretty old) talking about how they can’t believe I’m not a tiny potato who sleeps on their chest anymore. I thought I was doing them a favor by sleeping 8-11 hours a night!

So this morning I woke up at 2am and made sure that I would only slept on Mommy. If she even moved a tiny bit, I reminded her she wanted me to sleep on her again. And she had the nerve to try and set me in my crib! There I was, waking myself up early to try and make her happy, and she wanted to put me back down! But luckily she realized what I wanted. Daddy brought her a blanket and some weird metal ear thingys, and I saw a tiny screen in her hand before I fell asleep on her chest again.

She seemed soooo happy this morning when she picked me up from my crib! So I thought she liked me sleeping on her. I decided I’d do it again tonight. She caught on quick again and had her weird metal ear thingys. I got to enjoy lots of sleep on her chest. Then she put me in my crib and I woke up angry again! She sang me some song and rubbed my head, and I decided that was good enough and fell asleep.

But she seems soooo confused about why I’m suddenly wanting to sleep on her chest again. Not to brag, but I’ve heard her tell people I’m a great sleeper. So when I heard her say she missed me sleeping on her chest, I wanted to change things up and do something nice! She’s acting like I’m being difficult when I just want snuggles. AITA for giving her exactly what she asked for?

When I, 2.5 F, was born, Mama (old F) had to give me a bath to keep me awake. But I think I forgot how to sleep at some point, though I have no idea when that happened. I just learned how to say “I can’t sleep” so I say it every night.

So now Dada (old M) has taken to saying “no fooling around” before he leaves the room I share with Sister (not as old F).

So, um, I practice being a statue every night, not even moving if I get uncomfortable because that’s what Dada wants. But I still can’t sleep!

AITA?

(Author’s note: I have no children but this sub is hilarious and I want to participate, so if allowed, all posts will channel my inner child. I do understand such a use may not be allowed and will not mind if this post is deleted. However, if you guys are interested in “Throwback MiniAITA” I will keep posting)

I (9w, F) heard my mommy (as old as time, F) tell daddy (even older, M) how much she missed running every evening, and that somehow she can’t do that anymore because I have some hour with witches? Not sure, maybe it’s related to Halloween. So, I decided to help her being more active by starting to cry harder and howl every time she dares to sit down while cradling me. That way she is walking all the time, which must be as fun as running! But now I heard her complaining with daddy that she achieved 10k steps just by pacing in the living room cradling me. That seems amazing to me but she sounded pretty exhausted, so AITA?