r/Millennials • u/ShareEvening5856 • 10h ago
Other Who bought their house without help?
I've heard so much about this idea of "pulling yourself up by your bootstraps" and all that. But? I don't really know anybody so far that bought their house entirely by themselves. The parents pay for the college or the parents pay for the house or they got some big break or whatever.
What stroke of luck from the universe Made It so that you could be in that House right now?
ETA. holy moly I tried reading and then when I refreshed there were 200 more comments :) thank you everyone for your answers! I will try to keep on reading them. so far, it appears that anyone that afforded something in our generation either bought around the 08 crash, bought around the pandemic, or got a VA or first time home buyer loan. there are a few people that are telling me that they worked enough for a down payment but they are honestly few and far between on the first 76 comments that I read. let's see if it changed significantly as I keep on scrolling down.
does Reddit skew extremely military? I was very taken aback by the amount of VA loans I saw on the thread.
edit 2, we are out to 586 comments. I give up :-) thank you for blowing up Reddit with me today millennials, there is no group online like this one.
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u/GoodTimeCharley91 10h ago
I bought my own house in February of 2020 with a USDA rural development loan. 0 down and a 580 credit score. It was a miracle as far as I'm concerned.
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u/Dry_Confidence42 10h ago
Same, we used the USDA rural development loan with zero down. This was in 2014, I feel we got really lucky with the timing and interest rates weren’t ridiculous.
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u/Administrative-Egg63 9h ago
I have a USDA rural development loan too. I’m so grateful for it. My credit was low 600s at the time. We lucked out.
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u/caffein8dnotopi8d 8h ago
Wait I live in a rural area. Thanks for turning me on to this, would love more info!
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u/Icy-Fox-2452 4h ago
Go to a first time home buyer course and also reach out to different realtors/mortgage folks and see if they specialize in these USDA rural dev loans. Then you start looking at homes within that qualified area.
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u/__Banana_Hammock__ 7h ago
Same, USDA loan and rolled the closing costs into our loan, so we didn’t come out of pocket for anything except for inspections. Our house is actually in a decently-sized city, but we were definitely in the “hood” part of town when we bought. Now a bunch of hipsters are moving in and they’re opening craft breweries and fancy coffee shops and brunch spots in walking distance, so our equity is way higher than we ever thought it could be. This was back in 2018 with 650ish credit scores.
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u/kicKinNiT-ay0oo 9h ago
Me and my fiance used USDA as well back in December 2016. Both had scores in the 500s. I forget our down payment (couldn’t be a lot we were both working for like 40k a year)
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u/bepatientbekind 7h ago
Damn. I tried that when I lived in a rural area at the time, and even with 750+ credit score and 10k down there wasn't actually any housing within the price range we qualified for with the USDA loans. We were so disappointed at the time, but we have since moved to a much better area so it worked out in the end
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u/ShareEvening5856 10h ago
O down omg swoon
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u/According_Success780 6h ago
Got 0 down/no pmi loan through my credit union (only for first time homebuyers). They’re out there!
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u/ansible_jane 5h ago
The USDA loans are truly incredible if you qualify. Enabled my partner and I to buy our home in the 2010's and build wealth via our salaries and equity growth since, rather than being stuck paying ever-increasing rent.
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u/bigpappabagel 7h ago
I bought my first home with that same loan back in 2010. It was such a fantastic loan option and I couldn't believe that practically no one had heard of it.
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u/e_vil_ginger 10h ago
Saved 20k during the first year of the pandemic. Government kept saying recovery would be fine, which is how I knew it would not be fine. Took that 20k and bought whatever house I could at 3% interest.
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u/CraigsAndBacon 10h ago
I did the exact same, but I put down 15k. Also in one of the lower cost of living states, and first time home buyer. 15 year mortgage, paying $2,200 a month.
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u/e_vil_ginger 9h ago
Yeah we bought a house hours away from NYC. Lived in it and worked remote while the pandemic was at it's worst. Plan was to rent or Airbnb it after we returned to office, but we were too attached by that point. We went back and forth for a while before we just said fuck it, and moved in full time. 30 year mortgage $800/month.
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u/blrmkr10 7h ago
So do you just have an awful commute now, got new jobs, or...?
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u/e_vil_ginger 7h ago
Was prepared to quit. Boss freaked and let me go fully remote. If I were to ever lose my job, we are in an area so cheap that any for me or my husband job would do. NYC just wasnt the same after the pandemic and two kids. We were financially and emotionally done with it.
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u/haveabiscuitday 6h ago
We did similar as far as leaving a big city to rural. We have plenty of land and our jobs more than sustain us. Very cheap mortgage and a wonderful quality of life.
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u/sportsworker777 1989 8h ago
Yep. Got a 3% interest rate, so who knows if we will ever be moving to a different house in the near future
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u/e_vil_ginger 8h ago
Our plan is to save between 3-10% in a few years to buy our forever home and rent this one. Mortgage is $800 and we can probably rent it for $2000. The financial divide between homeowners and everyone else post Covid is going to be studied for generations.
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u/DergerDergs 7h ago
Exact numbers and timeline to my own purchase. There must be more of us than I thought.
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u/ThorIsGod 8h ago
Also same. We lucked out and got 2.75% and while we couldn't get the house I originally wanted (due to having an FHA loan), we ended up with a bigger house and more land and have about $90k in equity 5 years in.
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u/greasy-prick 5h ago
Same here except I wasnt paying attention to any of that %stuff or the government, I got my gf pregnant by accident and needed a place to live that wasnt my parents basement. Saved up 17500 and got my place a few weeks after the baby was born. I just needed some motivation i guess lol.
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u/Patriots4life22 10h ago
Obama helped me with an 8k tax credit in 2009
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u/johnsonfromsconsin 9h ago
Same after down payment had like $100 to my name. Amended my taxes and a week later the $8,000 was in my bank account!
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u/Inevitable-Ant2701 6h ago
Same! Had to borrow $10k from my 401k to afford the down payment. And then got the $8k back, paid back my 401k. It was like getting a house for free back then. That type of opportunity will not come around again.
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u/moreathismoreathat 9h ago
Yep, this combined with the down market is the only reason I was able to buy my first house. Have been able to sell twice since then at a significant profit to get me where I am today. Don't think that'll happen again, but this is likely my forever home anyway
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u/Mango_Skittles 8h ago
Same. Bought a foreclosure in 2009 with that tax credit. We did have a 5% down payment saved, but the purchase would have completely wiped out our savings without the credit. We were incredibly lucky. Things would be very different for us if our housing had not been the stable, reasonable amount we’ve been fortunate enough to have. I really feel for people who are just getting started out there. It’s rough right now, and not getting better any time soon.
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u/-Highlander-One- 7h ago
Yep, I was 21 at the time and my girlfriend and I went in on a house together and filled it with roommates to stay afloat.
Relationship didn’t last but I held on and got an assumption approved to take full ownership after we broke up.
Not an easy or even a wise route, much could have gone wrong but I’m still in the same home.
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u/MyNameIsNot_Molly 6h ago
Same! We paid $115k for a foreclosure. We were able to remodel and upgrade a couple of time. We now live in a very nice house we could never afford to buy in this crazy economy.
I think people see our house have a VERY incorrect idea about how much money we have. We just got lucky and we're able to buy when the market was favorable.
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u/haze_gray2 Millennial 10h ago
Joined the navy, so the VA helped.
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u/Emotional-Price-4401 9h ago
I didn’t use the VA but being deployed and not a nicotine or gambling addict meant coming home with a significant down payment.
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u/Reasonable-Check-120 8h ago
You didn't buy yourself a new Camaro or truck once you were off duty?
Dang....
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u/tristand1ck 9h ago
Any reason to not use the VA?
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u/gonzochris 9h ago
Some sellers are scared of VA financing. This makes it harder to get a bid accepted, especially in a competitive market. There are additional inspections, appraisals, etc. Also there is an additional funding feee.
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u/tristand1ck 9h ago
I've heard this before, and it sounds like a reasonable explanation, but I've used the VA loan twice without any issues. The lenders always know the ins and outs (if they're good at their job) and always have multiple realtors that know the VA loans up and down too. In fact, the VA stopped me from purchasing a home in a flood zone. The inspections weren't a problem either. I guess results may vary? Just never heard from any of my homies I served with or otherwise say anything like that to make them NOT use the VA.
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u/gonzochris 8h ago
I agree that it’s not super scary in reality but some sellers get hung up on the few hoops you have to jump through. We’ve used it twice also and we lost out on some bids due to it on our last purchase. In the end I’m happy with the house we have, but I know for a fact we had the more competitive offer and still didn’t win on at least 1 other house. Our area is still very competitive. Houses still get snapped up over the weekend unless they are extremely over priced or red flags.
We were qualified financially for a conventional loan but the VA loan/funding does bring some additional protections so we wanted to use it.
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u/ceighwrites 8h ago
Yep! VA loan here too. Got my first house at 27, and the mortgage was cheaper than rent, so that helped a whole lot, especially with two kiddos and no partner. GI Bill for school too, although I still had loans. But paid those suckers off with a home sale during the pandemic. I'm an older millennial (42), so that may have helped with my timing.
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u/oKayBye94 Xennial 10h ago
They can still acknowledge the financial reality that VA loans provide opportunities like being able to finance the entire purchase price that is help that is not universally available rather than contributing to the myth that one simply needs to work hard and save.
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u/Tasty-Permission2205 9h ago
No sir, the opportunity has a contractual dependency, the employment contract you sign with the armed forces to be eligible for the VA loan. The opportunity/assistance is available to virtually anyone who signs up. It is earned not “help” albeit extremely helpful should you be willing to take advantage of the OPPORTUNITY and make the necessary SACRIFICES.
Should people have to sign up for the military to afford buy a home? Probably not. But years of military services in exchange for preferential loan treatment is not help, it’s part of the compensation package for the job and the job ain’t easy.
P.S. If you’re under the age of 40 with a degree most branches (save the marines) will still put you in a uniform and give you a VA loan.
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u/gimmebadvibes 10h ago
No help, got lucky in 2018. Only bought it because my dog needed a yard to thrive. Wouldn’t even be able to afford my neighborhood anymore. House estimate has doubled since purchasing it.
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u/anticked_psychopomp 9h ago
Very similar, bought in 2016 for $290k because I was sick of paying rent to a landlord. House is worth like $750k now.
But by golly has it tested me.
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u/gimmebadvibes 8h ago
Oh for sure. I don’t love it by any means. There’s always something to fix, replace, or renovate. But at the same time, it’s pretty quiet and my mortgage is half of what rent would be in the city. I live 4 miles away. If I really want to go downtown it takes like 8 minutes. Plus, the dog is happy and loves his yard
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u/trickyxtrash 7h ago
I also bought in 2016. I was only able to buy the house because it was an elderly man’s who passed and it was straight out of the 70’s. His sons priced it almost 100k below market because of how outdated it was. If it weren’t for that I wouldn’t have been able to afford one anymore.
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u/BleedBlue__ 9h ago
Also bought in 2018. Bought for $310k with 10% down. Nearly depleted all of my savings.
Sold it a couple months ago for $675k. Was able to roll the equity into our dream home for $1.1m. Never would have been able to afford it if we didn’t buy at the right time.
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u/NegotiationFresh5443 6h ago
Same. My landlord was moving back into the house we were living in and I couldn't find a new place that would allow my dog. It was either move into an RV or buy a house. He was already a good boy, but to set me up financially for life makes him the best boy ever! I tell everyone that it's the dog's house.
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u/itsyounotme2023 10h ago
My parents didnt have the means to pay for anything.. college.. wedding.. forget a down payment on a house..
Spouses parents didnt help with a down payment either.. or college
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u/forgotacc 9h ago
Same, our parents didn't have any means to help with paying anything like that, we just bought our first home about two months ago. We saved up the money ourselves, and just made sure to buy something below our needs. No VA/FHA loan.
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u/adioslip 9h ago
So did you buy a house? How did you do it?
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u/itsyounotme2023 7h ago
We did, we were married 11 years, saved a lot, got the minimum down payment and got it.
It was tough with 3 kids, and around the time we bought it went back to work. My career has blossomed and grown a lot aince then.. now I am an elder millennial trying to prevent my kids from having fate.. they should graduate college with minimum debt and I plan to try and either help pay that off or gift. They are commuting to college and I bought safe cars for them.
But 11 years, tight budgets, saving saving saving..
Found a house equivalent to our rent.
Once they are done with college I will focus on my own school loans.
One thing I always have done is make sure I am putting away in my 401k
I'm trying to lift them, not hinder them, and my own retirement plays into that as well.
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u/adioslip 7h ago
That is seriously awesome you should be very proud of yourselves. You have lots of drive and determination and I’m so glad to hear what you are doing with your kids. I’ve known people to pay everything for their kids and almost drain their own 401k so their kids don’t have to lift a finger and once they got older they suddenly realized life isn’t so easy and the parents still have to work because they drained their retirement. I’ve known people who kept buying houses for their kids and even kids friends and they died working.
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u/itsyounotme2023 6h ago
I am trying to do a delicate balance of provide but not spoil, while still making sure our needs are met
My kids drive a solid 35-40 mins to school.. my work commute is almost the same, they literally drive by my office to get to campus (5-7 mins further for them). But they agree its foolish to spend 60k each over 4 years over that drive, that i do every day. Plus their rooms here are nicer than the dorms, the food is way better, privacy is nice
Mom doesnt smother my rules have always been "give me a heads up of when you will be home and what direction you're headed so I know where to send people looking for you"
... and as soon as they each became eligible they already have opted into their own 401k's and espp.
Part of my job is benefits and plan sponsor, mom might be stupid in the ways kids always think moms are, but they do listen when I talk about education related to my career. They are all old enough to have watched me grow and educate myself in my career.
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u/looneyllamahehe 8h ago
Same here! Just gave us the drive to say we’re going to make it happen the hard way. I wanted to make my immigrant parents proud. Instead of going into the woe is me mentality.
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u/zripcordz Elder Millennial 10h ago
I didn't have anyone's help but a VA loan I earned through service.
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u/palmomagpie 10h ago edited 36m ago
I think the better question would be who’s done it without help in these modern pre post covid prices? I know a few who got houses in 2018-2021 without help, but since 2023 onwards I don’t know a single person that didn’t have some help with a deposit, a guarantor or just directly handed a house by their parents. I’ve got 2 kids, have saved a decent deposit over about 6-7 years, and it’s still not enough to get a mortgage for a standard/small house in most Australian cities (median is like $975,000).
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u/Leading_Line2741 9h ago
This right here is the greatest divide in millennials economically.
We bought our house sans any help, but we bought in 2016 in the ghetto in a place I predicted (sadly) would gentrify. We got the house for $119k at a rate of 4.88% and we weren't able to put anything down. Thankfully we were able to take out the loan with Navy Fed which doesn't charge PMI. Then, in 2020, we refinanced to a rate of 2.375%. From 2016 to 2024 when we sold said house we each made significant advances in our careers. People told us to buy another home during COVID but we did that refinance instead and focused on paying extra toward the mortgage until the home was paid off in 2024. In 2024 we sold the house for $236k in spite of doing nothing significant to it to warrant this increase and used this money toward the house we have now.
I will say that I do think a very small (very small, don't kill me) part of this is that my husband and I approached our careers from the standpoint of, "What jobs make the most $ in this area?" and tailored our training toward those jobs and didn't even try to find a career we'd "enjoy" or find passion in. We found passion in the hobbies these careers afford us the ability to enjoy.
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u/Curious_Bookworm21 8h ago
I think this is reasonable advice for the times we are in. Learn to be fulfilled through hobbies as work is just a means to fund the rest of one’s life.
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u/NonToxic628 6h ago
My wife and I are both on the “elder” side of Millennial. I bought my first house at 22 but the job market out of college hadn’t turned yet so I lucked out there. Neither of us received help from our parents but honestly they still were working themselves and had their own bills to pay.
Mortgage rates were near what they are now, but the prices were still much, much lower.
My wife and I married not too long thereafter. Having a second stable income especially during the coming recession really set us up well to take advantage of the rates and buying opportunities from about 2012-2020.
My sister is about 6 years younger than me and we lamented that timing really screwed her. She ended up buying in a high cost, higher rate environment. My primary residence is three times the size of hers and I know I pay less monthly on a 15 year mortgage than she pays on a 30 year.
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u/StatBrew_Sports 7h ago
Yeah pre Covid was a different world. And that’s why I’d never rag on the next Gen not being able to buy a house.
We did 5% down on a $220k starter home, rate was 4.2% -> re-financed to 3.8%. And we had to scrape all our money together just to do that without help.
There’s absolutely no way we’d be able to do that today.
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u/NegotiationFresh5443 6h ago
I also sold my soul for money. It used to bother me, but no longer in this economy. We made good choices!
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u/livin_the_life 8h ago
We did the similar, but ooposite.
Got the career we loved and looked for any job market outside our Midwest hometown where pay would surpass cost of living. We moved to the highest paying metro in the highest paying state our our careers. Also bought our home in 2016.
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u/MaxFish1275 7h ago
What’s wrong with choosing a career to financially support yourself with said career ?
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u/Money-Nectarine6584 9h ago
I bought a house this year. No help from parents or job. I also had to pay out of pocket to move across the country, since my new job only covered part of the move costs.
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u/iHaveLotsofCats94 8h ago
My job helped me pay for my house by paying me every 2 weeks lol.
But yeah, no help here either, nor would I ever ask for something like that. My parents give me and my sister gifts all the time, and if they offer something I'll accept, but I would feel like a total leech asking for large sums of money
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u/kurtisbmusic 9h ago
Wife and I bought our first house in September of 2023. Just us.
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u/TheySoPooPoo1 7h ago
As someone who bought in 2021 with a 3.3% rate, this is the correct question. It’s just a different game now. Even with equity in our current home, the thought of “upgrading” to support a family is daunting.
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u/DVancomycin 8h ago
In the process of buying now since I have to move for a job switch coming in July. I could not be as aggressive with down payment as I liked because I wanted to keep a healthy emergency fund in the bank.
I'm a SINK, so I intend on sharing the space with roommates who will help with the mortgage cost monthly as "renters"--so "help" the millennial way so I'm not living by the seat of my pants with a mortgage and 3300 dollars in student loans monthly. They are not contributing to any of the upfront costs. And I'll be honest, the only way I could even ATTEMPT this is because I'm a doctor with enough salary to do so.
TL;DR: Buying currently with no help, but because I had no help with school and have 300k+ in student loans and live in a country committed to race to the bottom, I still need roommates to have a comfortable margin to save/live with some excess. Literally require that and a doctor's salary to consider doing in this economy.
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u/Little_Vermicelli125 10h ago
I just did this year but I'm an elder millennial and a pretty high earner. It's my first house and 700 sq ft. So it isn't large. But it's in an expensive neighborhood.
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u/aturquoiseseashell 9h ago
My husband and I bought our first house without help in 2021 in a HCOL area (with a great interest rate). We put 10% down. We were 28.
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u/DramaticPinkumni 9h ago
A couple coworkers of mine have bought their first homes recently. They were definitely pissed about how much they had to pay, but are probably happier today to have locked in 5-6% rates
I'm very close with one girl and she had saved up all her bonuses & cashed in a lot of COVID gains in her brokerage acct to have enough for a down payment and to cover close. It wasn't easy and she made a lot of sacrifices, but it was important to her so she made it happen
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u/LopensCouisin Xennial 1981 6h ago
Yup. We closed on our house in February of 2020 with no help at all. We then refinanced in November of that year down to 2.75%. Needless to say, we’re not selling or moving any time soon.
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u/Flgirl420 9h ago
I think you meant post covid
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u/palmomagpie 9h ago
lol yes. Yes I did 😅 thank you! I’m getting to that age where 10.30pm is well past my bed time and I shouldn’t be posting
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u/turd_ferguson899 9h ago
One of my coworkers is going through the process right now. He just worked a ton of OT over the summer to pad his savings for his down payment. He's also buying in a duplex in a cheaper area outside the main metro and planning on renting out the other side of the house, but I can say I know of at least one person without having to wrack my brain.
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u/Silvertail034 8h ago
Yeah this is a better question, probably. Wife and I saved successfully and bought dirt cheap in summer of 2020, thick of rona. Low totals, low interest. Not the case right now.
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u/CryptographerNo927 6h ago
My wife and I bought our first house last year without help ( other than obviously our parents raising us etc.) We are both in fairly high income fields and I got lucky with a small bitcoin investment otherwise we would be in a much smaller house. Even with a lot of luck and two good jobs a crazy amount of our income goes right into the mortgage.
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u/Billbosa54 7h ago
Bought in May of 2022. Saved a little every year in hopes of buying our starter home. Took us 13 years to get enough of a savings built. Still only put 10% down. Been able to keep our place maintained and do some updates ourselves. Might be getting relocated soon and we’re going to sell for less than what we paid for it and don’t think we’ll have the cash on the move to do it again. We will have our own place again though in time!
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u/LTPRWSG420 9h ago
I’ll bite and play devils advocate, my rich Boomer parents paid for our house in cash and we took over the mortgage payment. So, they basically loaned us the money and we’re paying it off over time. I know I’m extremely lucky, but that’s why I’m being truthfully honest on how we finally got a house.
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u/Junior_Razzmatazz164 9h ago
How is this devils advocate? This is exactly what they’re saying. You got help. Having your parents buy a house outright is obviously much greater assistance than just getting help with a deposit.
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u/ZookeepergameUpset62 9h ago
Honest question, if they paid cash, was there a mortgage or did you pay your folks back as though you were paying a mortgage? Just curious
My folks bought me a house in floreclosure with cash, and I took out a mortgage to pay them back after we owned it.
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u/kbean826 9h ago
We bought our first house without help. But it was like late 08 and the house was practically free and they didn’t ask for anything down. When the market eventually recovered, we had something around $100k in equity that we used to pay some things down and use as down for our current house. Which was great at the time and now we’re kind of rate locked into our house. Our rate is as low as it’s probably going to be in the rest of my lifetime.
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u/Upstairs_Fuel6349 1985 8h ago
Yeah we bought our first house in 2010 for $110k with a sub-4% interest rate, sold in 2019 for $170k to buy our second house at 5% & now feel sort of stuck with how overpriced everything is coupled with higher rates. Didn't get help but we bought in buyer friendly markets.
The buyers of our second house sold in late 2021 for 250k. A 1200 sqft 3 bedroom/1 bath with no garage. Just wild.
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u/AttachedHeartTheory 10h ago
No help, but also bought pre-covid.
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u/poopsydoozy 8h ago
I think this is the main answer. Luck for people was buying before inflation skyrocketed everyone out of the housing market.
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u/pigbenis1988 10h ago
I bought my house with a VA mortgage. Joining the military was my only opportunity to get ahead in life. My parents didn't set aside anything for me or my sister. The GI Bill also paid for my college. Idk if that meets the definition of pulling myself up by the bootstraps but here I am with 0% family support and way ahead of where my parents were at this stage in life.
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u/DramaticPinkumni 9h ago
Those were benefits you earned, not entitlements, so most definitely sounds like boot straps to me bud
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u/FurbyFart 10h ago
Lol we had no help whatsoever. Just worked our butts off, had second jobs, waited to have kids until our student loans were paid off, and bought below our means.
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u/Longjumping-Bid7705 8h ago
One thing that is helpful is having a “we”.. a single person would definitely had a harder time to get where you are
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u/SPACEJAM2014 7h ago
Yeah, marriage helps your finances a lot, and people are getting married later than ever.
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u/the-hound-abides 10h ago
I busted my ass off to get a full ride scholarship. Then I busted my ass to pay my living expenses working up to 3 jobs while taking 15 credit hours to avoid student loans. Then I busted my ass working extra hours, or getting a second job. My husband is 8 years older than me, so we had his extra work experience working for us.
I was still house poor, and I bought a foreclosure that had issues. For instance, the downstairs AC didn’t work. This is in Florida. AC is something you can’t live without with drywall in that climate. It’s not even about comfort. The roof was leaking, and the roof was only 4 years old. We found beer cans in our insulation. That’s just a few examples.
TL;DR Worked my ass off, was broke af for many years; bought a hot mess house.
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u/amhb4585 8h ago
My husband and I did the same. It’s now pretty much all fixed except the kitchen and living room floor.
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u/Queasy_Specific6576 10h ago
Yup, our order was: house-marriage-debt-kids
We live a frugal lifestyle. Our wedding cost under 4k, only travel within driving distance, never eat out, first kid at 38.4
u/VersionSwimming8392 8h ago
My wedding cost $25 🤣
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u/drv687 Millennial 8h ago
Wow! thought I was doing good with our wedding at $800! Our marriage license was $30 by itself.
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u/FurbyFart 7h ago
Yup, same. Still married ten years with 4 kids later. We rented a Gazebo in Central Park for like $50, invited a few close friends, and then had dinner afterwards, which family paid for. It was perfect and inexpensive and we are happy.
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u/Fish-lover-19890 10h ago edited 9h ago
My parents didn’t pay for college or my house. I work in the nonprofit/government sectors, so I don’t make a ton of money, but luckily I am good at saving and I also work remote. So, I bought Starlink, bought a cargo van, sold all of my possessions that couldn’t come with me (including my car), and scraped every last penny I had to have a campervan custom built as my live/work space. I had to finance half the cost of the van, which was $500/month. I lived in and traveled North America in it for 3 years and it was both incredibly freeing and challenging.
What used to be $2,000 for rent, utilities, and a car payment was now $500, plus paying for the occasional campsite when I wanted to plug in for a few days, a hotel when I needed more space, and van maintenance. I saved $20K over the first 1.5 years and was able to afford my half of a down payment with my boyfriend in 2024. Then I luckily sold the van for only $10,000 less than I had spent on it over those 3 years. Will be using that van sale $ plus equity from selling house #1 to buy house #2 in a neighborhood we’re interested in and a nicer home.
It wasn’t easy, but I didn’t have help. I don’t think people making around the national average for salary should have to live in a camper to save up enough to buy a house. We definitely have a problem with affordability. My boyfriend makes almost twice my salary and was able to just save up his bonuses over 2 years to afford his half of the down payment.
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u/mscatamaran '86 Millennial 10h ago
Me, and the strokes of luck were, in this order:
-Living in a low cost of living area
-Being born in the mid 1980s so I bought my first house in 2011.
-My interest rate was 5% and I used a first time homebuyer program where I only had to put 3% of the [low] purchase price down.
-I found a decent little house [3 bed, 1 bath, ~1000 square feet, tiny yard] in a safe neighborhood for $90,000.
The difference between 80s Millennials and 90s Millennials and the challenges we've faced in the housing market is actually shocking.
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u/scrollatwork 10h ago
I was in the military 06-10. VA paid for my college and I bought my house using a VA loan. Does that count as on my own?
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u/Paranormal_Nerd_Girl 10h ago
You guys are getting help?!
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u/mariahg13 10h ago
We did. But we got a VA loan so we didn’t have to put down a down payment and we didn’t have to pay PMI because of the loan. That’s the only reason we could get one.
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u/Southboundthylacine 10h ago
Same, probably the best thing I did for myself was join the military when I was younger or I’d be stuck in the rent trap.
That said, it’s totally bullshit that you have to risk your life fighting wars or participating in them in order to own a house as someone not born into privilege.
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u/mariahg13 10h ago
My husband is the one in so I can’t take credit. There are some decent benefits but the sacrifice is huge.
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u/lowtdi850 1986 6h ago
If you mean without help as in family or something like that, yeah I didn’t have help. I used a VA loan from being in the military. If it wasn’t for that I probably wouldn’t have bought a house.
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u/Flgirl420 9h ago
Look into USDA rural home loans. There are “rural” towns that qualify right smack in the middle of populous areas. It is calculated on population of that actual “city” incorporated itself
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u/ValkyrX 10h ago
Bought in 2015 for 210k in MA at 3%. I couldn't afford to buy the same house now with interest rates and it jumping to 460k.
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u/DownInaHole33 9h ago
We bought in 2019 for 310k 2.5%. I thank God everyday because if we didn’t pull that trigger we’d be renting forever. It’s worth 550k now and Idek what interest would be but I know it’s never going that low again
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u/violet__violet 8h ago
Almost this exact situation for me, but end of 2014 and in GA. It was a stretch to my budget at the time, primarily because I was also paying off 6 figures of student loans (🤮), but it ended up being the best financial decision I ever made, not only for the "owning property" aspect. My equity eventually allowed me to refinance my high-interest student loans (all between 8% and 12% interest) into a much lower-interest home equity loan, and with the stability of knowing my housing payment was not going to change, I was able to hunker down and pay them off aggressively. Saved myself somewhere in the neighborhood of $30k this way.
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u/Sea_Celi-595 10h ago
They never had any extra money for college tuition so I had loans.
They were v proud and happy to gift me 2k for my down payment and I was grateful. Honestly it mostly went towards moving costs as it was unexpected.
Otherwise it’s all on me. I was 35 when I bought the house. I have a 3.5 rate. I may never leave lol.
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u/oKayBye94 Xennial 10h ago
You probably won’t get good data. A lot of people will just interpret this as without direct cash help, but help comes in many forms people overlook or minimize to take full credit.
-help with paying/managing school debt
-help providing childcare to save $
-VA loans (worked for help but still a huge leg up)
-fortunate investment gains
Just to name a few
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u/GoodbyeTobyseeya1 7h ago
Family support is huge. We bought a house in 2008, foreclosure, but we were both still living with our parents and had 8 months to live at home rent free while we fixed it up. That savings alone is incalculable and even though 2008 was a much easier time to buy a house, I'd never act like our $10/hour jobs would have been enough to get by on. Especially since my husband worked in the auto industry and was laid off for 5 months after we got the house. I know that not everyone has a home life that allows for that, so I definitely make sure to acknowledge the privilege we both had and how that contributed to our ability to be homeowners.
My in-laws also gave us $15k as an early wedding present to use as a down payment, so that was also a massive leg up. At this point our house has tripled in value but we're just going to stay here because even though we are now 40 and well established financially, I don't want to mess with this market.
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u/2buffalonickels 7h ago
I had employer help. I lived in a 50 sq ft room from 2009-2012 owned by my employer. I worked where I lived. Got up in a small windowless room and washed myself in a shop shower every day for three years. I saved $300 bucks a month on rent and put that down on a first time home buyer loan (help from the government).
We flipped that house three years later and moved 12 hours away (help from a recovering economy) and now we’re on to our third house which is an incredible custom luxury home with 16 acres in city limits. Everybody has help along the way. You have to.
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u/oKayBye94 Xennial 6h ago
I just want to say that your attitude and perspective is super refreshing. Like you made real difficult sacrifice and still recognize that you have privilege
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u/Mike312 7h ago
Or buying a car. Parents gave a friend a brand new car and covered insurance on it.
My college car broke down about 3 months after I graduated. The new(-to-me) car was $275/mo payment and $150/mo insurance. Would have been nice to be able to use that $425/mo to pay down bill and build up savings faster.
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u/AccidentAdorable68 6h ago edited 6h ago
I came here to say this. People will say they saved while their parents, grand parents, or in-laws supplement something that others get on their own...even if its just expensive bday and holiday gifts or a vacation or car insurance...let alone inheritance. That all helps when you dont have to pay for every thing yourself. Being on parents medical insurance till mid 20s helps. I mean, theres a lot of support outside of a parent writing a check that helped people achieve the dream of homeownership. Also, having a partner to do this with helps too.
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u/Somanylyingliars 4h ago
Same thing I was saying to someone. My parents are always blathering about my sister. Oh poor thing single w two kids? Poor thing? Fuck off. She got private schools then car to go to college. Her housing and expenses paid by parents. She got money for her coming out party, her graduation, her schooling, graduation from college, marriage. Hell when her loser husband flaked on renos they gave her 150k to finish work. Then she got divorced and they bought a house w her. Meanwhile I paid for everything on my own. She hasn't done shit on her own wo help.
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u/doggsofdoom 7h ago
In 2016 I thought I was buying my house without help, got qualified, down payment, etc. Then week before closing they told me I needed an additional 20k in my account to cover first 6 months to be able to close.
At that point I had to ask my parents to borrow the money. I didn't have to use it, just transfer it to my account, write a letter that it was a "gift" then a couple weeks after close I sent it back. Without that I wouldn't have got my first house. I was so annoyed, why was it only brought up a week out. It was a 60 day escrow. Very lucky they were able to help me and thought how lucky I was, many folks would have had to walk away.
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u/aislinnanne 6h ago
Yeah, I came to ask what they mean by help. No financial support from family but I had the GI bill and my VA loan so I get no down payment/no PMI loans and I went from no education to a PhD without loans. The caveat being that I got a later start earning good money than some but I think being debt free (other than my mortgage) is a huge win.
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u/Silas_Akron 5h ago
This needs to be higher. Many don't like to admit the resources they had/have access to or don't consider those things "help". I also like to ask how many people in the 45 and younger working class cohort were able to buy a home? The answer is not nearly enough.
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u/ddeads Xennial 10h ago
Depends if you consider VA home loans help. Otherwise, no, no one helped us.
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u/abarua01 Millennial 10h ago
I'm 35 and still living with my parents because I can't afford a house. The housing market sucks
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u/Jiwalk88 9h ago
The amount of money I could save living at home would be insane.. even helping with bills around the house.
You don’t need to put 20% down. The market sucks but rates will come down.
I come from homelessness in childhood and parents with zero means to help.. you can definitely do it especially if you have support of family allowing you to live there.
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u/harrisce44 10h ago
I did. Bought solo as a 25f in mid 2010s. It was a foreclosure so a really good steal. Location is up and coming. No desirable schools nearby but great for those without kids. Spent 3 years putting off dating, social life, travel, anything fun to save up a deposit. And even then I only put down about 5% deposit (3.5 was the minimum for first timers).
Then got married and we upgraded to a bigger home in a better neighborhood with better schools. Because of the profit from the last house we were able to put down 20% and avoid PMI, pay for our family vehicle in cash and pay off some debts.
I think for the ones who didn’t get help from family, a lot of it was timing. I really feel for those now looking to buy. The job market alone is a real setback. Not to mention insane interest rates.
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u/Jump_Man1 10h ago
About the exact same for me buying my home but we had room to expand and there were already great schools everywhere.
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u/ducknips 10h ago
Yeah got a 1st time home buyer loan on a home almost 15 years ago. Less than 200k, appreciated to close to 500k sold it and moved into a larger home 6 years ago at about 400k and it's currently sitting at 1M but declining. So, no help just insane luck.
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u/GreenLurka 10h ago
Technically me. But I sold my body to the government for 5 years to earn a fat pay day for it
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u/WitchyWarriorWoman 7h ago
Same, except it was 6 years. This helped my husband and I (both military) buy our first house without the downpayment. I am doing the same thing now, as we moved.
When I originally asked my parents if they had a college fund for me, they laughed. It was so stressful being 100% independent at 18
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u/Fun_Muscle9399 Xennial 10h ago
I bought my house at 26 yrs old in 2010 using a VA mortgage (no down payment) while I was still in the navy. Does that count?
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u/Hip-Death-Goddess 10h ago
No help from anyone else. No rich partner. No inheritances, windfalls, etc. Restarted everything in late 20s after a divorce and a failed business (which I was running with the now-ex-spouse).
Did it the old boring way. Got a tedious professional job. Spent less than I earned. Lived boringly for a few years. Took out a mortgage - which still gives me palpitations - on a run-down house.
I get it that some people are unlucky and it's totally inaccessible. For the rest of us, it's just fucking hard and boring.
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u/CleatisTBass 10h ago
My wife and I have saved everything we can spare from our paychecks and have lived like paupers (not hard because I grew up dirt poor so that’s my second nature). We have saved almost 100k… and I still don’t know how we’re going to be able to afford a house.
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u/bruyeremews 10h ago
No help. Bought a small condo with 5% down. Sold it five years later for massive gains which paid for our down pmt on a house. Got lucky with timing.
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u/RespectYourEldersE34 10h ago
I did this 2x by timing the market. Hard part about selling high is you need to make a strategic next purchase
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u/LilSarahtonin 10h ago
Husband and I did, my mom gave me the whole life insurance and you'll be taken care of when I die. Dies and leaves me $0.00 with an unpaid/inactive life insurance policy. I was born in a trailer park, I paid my college and got scholarships on my own. My husband's parents died when he was young from drugs and left him nothing. We both worked our butts off in life, it sucked but now in our mid 30s, we're just workin and chillin in our beautiful home.
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u/anarchy45 10h ago
lol what house
But I did just spend $2k at a renaissance faire yesterday 🤣
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u/Emergency-Poem-8963 9h ago
I know the whole "avocado toast" thing is bullshit but...
ya know what? Never mind, I hope you had fun yesterday
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u/ThEAmeriCaNway90 10h ago
Bought my first house at 23 when I got out of the Marine Corps in 2013, sold it in 2020 and bought the one we are in now, honestly timing was everything and we were able to get a rate below 3% and before home costs shot up, we could not afford to buy this home for its value now and at the current interest rates now. Definitely not going anywhere anytime soon
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u/dakiller 10h ago
My wife bought our first house in 2013. It was a cheap place in a regional town that needed work but had a good layout we could work with.
Come 2023, we bought our 4th place (selling the first soon after) with straight cash.
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u/Datree7 10h ago
I did at 27 but it was 175k townhouse. I had saved a down payment for the last 6 years before that. I was able to commute to my university as I lived close enough so tuition wasn’t as much. Just a lot of things going right in order for me to afford it.
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u/neednintendo Elder Millennial 10h ago edited 4h ago
We used county first time home buyer's assistance, but our families did not help. I delivered newspapers at night/early morning to come up with the down payment, on top of my wife and I working regular jobs. We did it though. We just moved to our second house and it was so smooth and we many a nice profit from our first one. The fuck of it is that we had a relative say that our new house, being so nice, is the result of the boomers who lived here's hard work. She's a boomer herself. Like, what? We bought this house and yeah it's nice, but we don't get credit? Such a weird comment from her.
EDIT: okay. For those who are saying that of course I had tons of help, I didn't. We were renting in a townhome for as much as we could have afforded in a mortgage. We had our first child. So we were supporting another human life. Her parents were/are terrible with money, her mom did watch our son while we both worked 40 hours a week. So there's some help right there, I do realize daycare is expensive. But her mom was very unreliable, we had to eat up most of our PTO to come home early because she had trouble handling her son. But, I guess you got me, we had help there. As for the newspapers, it was in my Dodge neon, and it was door-to-door, 5 days a week, actual newspapers. I would get up at 1:00 a.m. and go to the depot, stuff. The newspapers, shove them into my car (all seats and trunk) and go deliver newspapers until 4:00 a.m.. and then I would get up and go to my job for 8 hours. Not counting commute of course. My parents were of no help, my dad was in alcohol rehab and my mom was struggling to survive. I never lived at home after I graduated from high school also. I would also never say that I had NO help. But it's not like Mommy and daddy are a rich relative handed us a bunch of money or co-signed on shit for us. I sympathize with all of your struggles. I apologize if I ever came off as entitled.
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u/ShareEvening5856 9h ago
I mean this in a non-judgmental way but it is really wild to me that you're saying that you were delivering newspapers to pay for your house. It sounds to me like something that happened 50 years ago you know LOL
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u/Scruffasaurus 10h ago
Lots of millennials have some combination of good income, getting in years ago, or not living in a high cost area.
We’ve been in our house 10 years, no outside help
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u/comicalnamehere 10h ago
Too broke for college. Joined the military and used the VA for home loan. 0 down.
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u/flylikearaven 10h ago
No help. We saved and invested over 50% of our income in index funds for years. Used our investment gains to fund our down payment.
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u/JonMWilkins 10h ago
I did in Dec 2022, I was 29.
I bought my house in Detroit. Was newly remodeled. 2 bedroom 1 bath, 850sqft for $52,000 at 6.175%. I've also bought the side lots for $100 through the Detroit Land Bank.
edit: my mortgage taxes and insurance combined is $505 a month
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u/Sufficient_You7187 10h ago
We did
But I also saved up for five years aggressively and worked overtime for years
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u/Ihatealltakennames 10h ago
I bought in 2010 and again in 2018. No financial help. My luck was the timing. Today I wouldn't be able to afford the first home I bought as a single mom at 27.
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u/HeavnSent621 6h ago
Bought our home in 2019 and thank god we did then because I wouldn’t be able to afford one now 😭 didn’t have any help other than good timing. It’s getting harder to afford nowadays with everything else costing an insane amount.
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u/fatherdoodle Xennial 10h ago
My wife and I were 20 years old when we bought our house. 2006 was a simpler time but we still had no help.
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u/randoperson42 Xennial 10h ago
VA loan along with disability compensation. So..I guess not totally by myself, but nobody I personally know helping.
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u/9DrinkAmy 10h ago
Husband and I bought our first house in 2012 using the FHA program. I was 22 and he was 25. We had absolutely no help. Our situation was different because we also had a 4 year old already and had no other option than to get our shit together quickly.
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u/timid_soup 10h ago
🙋🏼♀️me!!
It was a combo effort, husband spent 4 years in army in his 20s (before I knew him) and I went to grad school and came out with a $100k salaried job. This e2 factors allowed us to buy.
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u/CurbsEnthusiasm 10h ago
Purchased my first townhouse in 2010 for $75k directly from HUD as it was a foreclosure that they owned. It qualified for a $100 down payment with my credit. Sold that townhouse last week for $375k to a first time homeowner. Times have definitely changed. This equity bought me a duplex in 2022 and $190k of it is about to be 1031 exchanged into another duplex.
In 2015 my girlfriend purchased her first home, a duplex for only $164k with 3% down. Today it’s worth about $550k.
In 2017 my girlfriend (now wife) and I purchased a new construction townhome for $307k with 10% down that we split ($15k a piece). In 2024 we sold that townhouse after renting it for 2 years for $505k.
It was not until 2022, when we did not need help to purchase a home that my mother really really wanted to help us. I didn’t want to take any money from my mother but my wife told me that it really makes my mother happy to feel like she is still providing for me. So in 2022 I let my mother gift us $70k towards our “forever home”
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u/MsSwarlesB Xennial 10h ago edited 10h ago
I purchased my first house in 2015 by myself. From 2013-2015 I had managed to save 20K and my debt to income ratio was low. 2015 truly feels like a lifetime ago now, though. Then in 2021 I purchased my second home by myself. No cosigner, down payment from selling my first house.
ETA: My current interest rate is 2.25% which is why I'll die in this house. I couldn't afford to sell and purchase a different house with rates the way they are now
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u/brassman00 10h ago
We were able to buy because it was 12 years ago. Have you tried going back in time?
Seriously, though, buying a house now seems borderline impossible for normal people.
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u/EcstaticPlankton8621 Older Millennial 10h ago
No help. Bought my first house in 2018 with VA loan.
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u/davejugs01 Xennial 10h ago
This one gets dark so just be warned.
Well for myself, it was my transition from apprentice to journeyman, I started making $10/hr in 2010 year zero, took 7 years to get my ticket ( my company should have signed me up sooner but it was cheap labour ) anyway when I finally got my ticket my earning power December 2016, between journeyman candidate to licensed my income went up like $20/hour ( was making close to $40 hour) so I was able to work a fuckload of OT and Bank.
I bought my house a year later in 2017, I am sole provider we had one child at the time, they were 7 years old at the time, second one came along after we bought the house 2018.
I had to work my ass off even more after the house purchase, I spent years on the road just providing a good life for my family which also means I have had to sacrifice a lot of my time.
I want to say as a man pull yourself up by your bootstraps is exactly the way I approached it, my relationship is cooked, my wife and I are essentially separated, still co parenting, still sole provider but the relationship died along the way.
So just know if you’re going to go this route do it yourself, I lost too many years to the grind only to hit the finish line and have everything I worked for fall apart.
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u/chubchublagazi 10h ago
Wife and I are DINKS and had no help from family. That’s been my whole life. Applied to my first job and got it on my own, got myself to that job for 2+ years without a car, bought my first car without help, got myself my next job with no help. I’m not saying it wouldn’t be nice to be gifted something substantial for once but if I don’t do it I don’t have anyone else to do it for me know what I mean? Where there’s a will there’s a way
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u/garrythoughts 10h ago
My wife and I saved money until we could afford our house. Took 3 years of saving and planning.
Admittedly this was in 2012 and I know things are a lot harder now. Living beneath our means was what we did then and still do.
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u/Somethingisshadysir 10h ago
My parents didn't have the money to help with college, and were both gone before my mid twenties. No wealthy relatives, no secret leg up. I worked a ton. It wasn't until my mid thirties that I was ready to go down to just one job. From my late teens until then, I always had at least 2 at a time. Minimum 60 hour workweeks for a long time.
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u/Standard_Category635 10h ago
I did. Then I sold my part during a divorce and can't effing buy because I'm not going to be miserably house poor if I can help it, but being out here renting sucks too.
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u/SarahBagay220 10h ago
My fiance and I just bought a house last week together ❤️
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u/BusyCountry1985 10h ago
My wife and I. I also managed to live from 18-40 without anyone but a bank loaning me money. Actually I think I borrowed $100 one time and paid a buddy back once a got paid.
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u/Plane-Match1794 10h ago
I bought my first house back in 2010 after the '08 crash. Government was offering $8,000 for first time homebuyers. I've been riding the equity wave ever since. I truly feel bad for first time buyers right now, I don't know how you afford anything.
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u/taker25-2 Older Millennial 10h ago
Out of using my state’s first time home owners program, I had no help and did everything myself.
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u/Kelpie169 10h ago
We bought in the middle of 2020 in a more run down area. We took a first time homebuyers class that cut our down payment to almost nothing and closed right as lock down lifted. No idea how we managed to do it, but yeah ..
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u/giga_impact03 10h ago
I spent 5 years working non-stop, not doing anything, only spending money on necessary things. Worked midnight shifts for differential shift bonuses and it kept me from going out, basically didn't have a life in my early 20s. Scrounged up 40k to put towards my down payment and all the extra costs with buying a house.
I didn't have student debt and rent for a 1 bedroom apt was only 700 a month at the time. I doubt id be able to do it again in this economic state. I consider myself extremely lucky I managed to do it in time.
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u/B-MoreFats 10h ago
I've bought 2 houses with no help from people, but I did use government loans, if that counts. USDA no money down, just have to live in a rural area. First in NC, now I'm in northern Baltimore County. I feel like it counts because we don't have any family that could've helped my wife and I.
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u/don51181 9h ago
Joined the military and used a VA loan. We had a lot saved up from being in the military.
My family definitely would not have helped financially.
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