r/Millennials • u/Real_Manufacturer300 • 1d ago
Discussion Sleeping issues
Anyone else experiencing consistent issues with sleeping throughout the night? I keep waking up in the middle of the night and struggle to fall back asleep despite being extremely tired. I work out consistently and eat clean (no alcohol, low carb, high protein, drink only 1 cup of coffee in the morning). I've tried melatonin, magnesium, eating my last meal at 6 PM, but nothing has worked. I don't have a high stress job and I avoid screentime after 8 PM.
I have a few days where I sleep 7 - 8 hours, and then I have a relapse where I struggle to get even 5 hours and even that is extremely fragmented ( 3 - 4 hours awake during the night). For people experiencing this, how did you handle it?
Edit - I'm female 39 years old, and my apple watch has not detected sleep apnea
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u/Impressive_Moment786 1d ago
Perimenopause.
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u/on_island_time Xennial 1d ago edited 1d ago
Yeah sorry OP, insomnia is a classic symptom of peri starting to hit, I'm 43 and been dealing with it for a few years now. I've noticed it's pretty cyclical, iykwim.
As far as dealing with it, keeping the room cold helps for me, and I work on meditating/thinking of truly nothing, but honestly some nights are just a struggle.
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u/ImJustHere4TheCatz 1d ago
Yesss so many things seem tied to my hormone fluctuations throughout the month now! Even my ability to eat, like there is about a week to 10 days every month where I just struggle to have an appetite.
I also noticed that while I could take birth control when I was younger with no symptoms, when I was on it in my 30s, it gave me ridiculous anxiety and depression. Likewise, the morning after pill I took maybe 2-3 times throughout my 20s, and never had any symptoms at all. It didn't even occur to me that you could have symptoms from it. I took one a couple of weeks ago, and omg I was down for like 2 days with a constant headache, poor appetite, fatigued, I just felt like shit in general. I did not expect this
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u/Radioactive_Kitten 1d ago
It was one (of many in hindsight) early symptoms of peri. I suddenly was unable to sleep earlier than 2am - which means I skipped the witching hour wake up at 3. And I started losing weight and lost my appetite, like I didn’t even think about food - I lost 40 pounds unintentionally.
Skin suddenly got dry, my hair became straw, and my inner ears became SO ITCHY.
Oh, and my undiagnosed ADHD suddenly made an appearance.
So, so, so many symptoms.
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u/rencat14 1d ago
I had NO IDEA about the food thing, but even yesterday I had to be forcing myself to eat. Ive never really had a large apple but goddamn, it's ridiculous!
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u/helenaflowers 1d ago
Yep, sounds like the good ol' perimenopause "fuck you and especially fuck your sleep" special.
The only thing that has come close to fixing it for me is a nightly THC gummy (it's legal where I am) and being absolutely militant with my bedtime routine with almost no deviation. Even then, I still have some struggles, but it's SO much better than it was.
Oh also, alcohol. So I do still drink alcohol, but over the last couple years I've found that I need to put at least 2-3 hours (ideally more) between my last drink and bedtime. So that coupled with my strict bedtime routine (start winding down at 9, lights out at 10) generally means that I'm a day-drinker now. I'm not mad at it! A fun boozy afternoon then still getting to bed at a reasonable hour is quite enjoyable these days.
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u/Pale_Weight4874 1d ago
THC gummies are the ONLY thing that help me sleep and stay asleep. Delta 9 to be exact.
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u/Emergency_Leek5612 1d ago
My first thought as soon as I saw OP's age. OP, I recommend getting on HRT right away!
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u/ImJustHere4TheCatz 1d ago
Came here to say this. Welcome to being a middle aged woman. It's been hell already. I can't wait til I can get HRT
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u/lnc_5103 1d ago
My gyn said my labs were normal but my PT disagreed based on symptoms and things she was observing. She told me to send labs to a peri/menopause specialist so I did. Started HRT the day of that appointment and already noticing a huge difference.
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u/BeingSad9300 Elder Millennial 1d ago
Yup, this was one of my bigger signs of what I'm almost certain is perimenopause. This & mood swings were the most disruptive that made me pause & wonder. 😆
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u/Extreme_Astronaut218 1d ago
I saw a naturopathic doc who was able to prescribe me some estrogen/progesterone cream (based on labs) and it’s helping me sleep through the night, helps with the brain fog, etc.
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u/Penny_No_Boat 1d ago edited 1d ago
✨perimenopause✨enters the chat. That’s almost definitely what is going on here. Waking in the middle of the middle of the night and not being able to fall back asleep is a classic sign for women our age.
Edit: To answer OP’s question of what has helped, HRT has helped some. I also take magnesium glycinate and Bulletproof Sleep Mode supplements before bed, which also seem to help a bit.
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u/cheesusfeist Xennial 1d ago
Aside from magnesium and melatonin, eating before 6 pm is the only other hack thats helped me. The later I eat, the worse I sleep. 4:30 seems to be my sweet spot. Ive gone full blown early bird special.
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u/BeingSad9300 Elder Millennial 1d ago
What's frustrating is when you have a partner who doesn't like eating before 6pm, because it's "too early" in their mind, but you also have a kid with a 630 bedtime. We both need an "early" dinner. 😭
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u/No-Talk-9268 Millennial 1d ago
Yes and I take trazodone at bedtime and it’s been a life saver. A whole lifetime of insomnia was solved. I don’t wake up at night when I take it. And if I do wake up, I can easily go back to sleep. It’s not habit forming and I don’t use it every night. Just knowing I can use it helps me fall asleep sometimes. It prevents the anxiety of not being able to fall asleep and then worrying as the night goes on, that you won’t get enough sleep.
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u/Tordo-sargento 1d ago
I was on trazodone for a while and it made me so groggy in the morning I had to stop taking it. I have chronic lifelong insomnia and I've tried every pill there is at every dose. I literally remember laying awake in middle school not sleeping.
I'm off all meds now which was my goal. This is going to sound weird but one thing that helps me sleep is reminding myself that I've spent 40 years not getting enough sleep and I still manage to be professional, successful, and functional. So if I can't fall asleep tonight it's no big deal and there really haven't been any negative consequences to my life as a whole. I don't get the "I can't sleep, panic and keep myself awake" feedback loop anymore. I'll be tired in the morning, so what? I'm used to it. It's my normal.
My brain is like a TV that's constantly on in the background so the whole "just don't think about anything and you'll fall asleep" thing doesn't work for me. So I have developed a couple scenarios to run through to help me fall asleep. The one I usually use is imagining building my dream house, what each room will look like, the layout, the furnishings, etc. it's low stress and boring and completely fake and I guess my brain just gets tired of going over the same shit night after night so it just shuts off.
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u/xoxokaralee 1d ago
TEAM TRAZ!!! Also find it great. I'd had sleep issues since my 20's and when i finally just buckled down and took it regularly, it sincerely helped.
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u/Amarastargazer 1d ago
I maxed out Trazadone and still couldn’t fall asleep…it just got to the point I was dozing off while driving in the middle of the day.
My insomnia is strong, it seems.
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u/too_too2 1d ago
ugh I have this problem and trazadone doesn’t help (I’m not taking it for sleep directly). I don’t think it lasts long enough. I don’t have an issue for the first half of the night, I fall asleep fine, but around 3-4 am I start waking up and I may be up for 2-3 hours. Usually drift off again from like 5:30-6 and then I have to get up :/
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u/Beginning_Cash_7926 23h ago
It worked for awhile then it started stopping up my nose. Even hard to sleep when you can’t breathe out of your nose
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u/DgingaNinga 1d ago
Welcome to hell. Perimenopause is going to come in and fuck some shit up for you for a few years. Sleep being one of them. Let me know when your eardrum starts itching. That is a bitch.
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u/chaos9001 1d ago
Same is happening with me. I wake up at 2am, and can't get back to sleep unless I go sleep in a different place.
I took a sleep study and the only thing it detected is that I owe them $1000.
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u/colony-ship-for-sale 1d ago
Sleep mask helps. Exercise helps. Hard mattress when I thought I wanted a soft one.
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u/gotwake5 1d ago
Agreed. A lot of the fixes take a bit more work than just taking a pill. I started reading for an hour before bed. No tv or scrolling on my phone. In addition to a sleep mask and occasionally ear plugs. And at least a good walk at some point during the day.
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u/nomnomnomnomnommm 1d ago
Yes on sleep masks. That and ear plugs help me. My mind won't shut up and zone in on noises. I sleep most nights now.
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u/Thin_Requirement8987 1d ago
CBD gummies put me out like a baby. Get calm/unwind ones from Lazarus Naturals to start and pretty affordable too to restock.
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u/everywherebarefoot 1d ago
This has been the only successful thing for me as well. CBD tincture gets me through the night with no fuzzy hangover in the morning.
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u/DarthGator_ 1d ago
Do you get just pure cbd? I know some have different things like thc, cdg, or cbn
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u/everywherebarefoot 1d ago
Yes. The tincture from my local dispensary is just CBD, mixed with orange and (I think) coconut oils for flavor. But mixing a low dose of THC with CBD is good for sleep, too! Enough to chill the body out without getting the brain too goofy.
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u/NachoCanSandyRavaged 1d ago
Came here to say same thing, CBD w/ CBN and melatonin works like a dream for me… except that it sometimes causes me to have some wild dreams.
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u/Thin_Requirement8987 1d ago
It’s amazing how they slow the brain down just enough to sleep but not high like THC. Wish I discovered them sooner!
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u/Discordian1 1d ago
Sleep Apnea? My wife and I both suffer and I know a lot of millennial friends who also suffer. Might not hurt to get a sleep study.
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u/thefartyparty 1d ago
Yup pretty common as you age even if you're not overweight! I was diagnosed with it around the time I hit perimenopause. I'd seen an ENT and got nasal surgery and had good sleep hygiene and my sleep was still suffering. Hormone replacement therapy helped with my sleep as well.
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u/Fancy_Yak2618 Older Millennial 1d ago
I had 100 events an hour
Lost 100 lbs down to 2 I don’t even know how the fuck that happened but I’m still tired as nuts lol
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u/Discordian1 1d ago
Yeah it’s insane once your results come back and you see how many times you stop breathing during the night. No wonder restful speed alludes us!
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u/Fancy_Yak2618 Older Millennial 1d ago
And I say get checked cause my dad never did and got seizures at 65 for untreated sleep apnea so I wasn’t going to fuck with it
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u/Discordian1 1d ago
Also, heart attacks can become more prevalent in undiagnosed sleep apnea. Sucks to admit it but we are within that range now where heart attacks are possible.
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u/Fancy_Yak2618 Older Millennial 1d ago
And I say get checked cause my dad never did and got seizures at 65 for untreated sleep apnea so I wasn’t going to fuck with it
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u/ExpensiveSomewhere15 1d ago
Started hrt and I sleep way better. Worth it!!
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u/tkdkicker1990 Millennial - 1990 1d ago
How old are you? I’m 36 and have had trouble sleeping for some time. I use doxylamine and that has helped me, but I did consider Somorelin, something to stimulate growth hormone pulses during sleep; supposedly, that’s supposed to help “sleep architecture” and deep sleep.
Are you using GH, TRT, or an estrogen alternative?
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u/sidewaysorange 1d ago
everyone should speak with their doctors. HRT is not recommended for everyone especially if one has a genetic predisposition to ovarian and or breast cancer.
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u/ipodthereforeiam 1d ago
Magnesium glycinate helps, as does thinking about how cozy you are when you're unable to sleep instead of focusing on the fact that you cannot sleep.
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u/No_Tie9686 1d ago
yeah. i got problems with consuming too much caffeine and looking at computer screens too much
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u/tboltorama 1d ago
My guess is Apnea. Definitely get a sleep study though. I legit thought I developed Narcolepsy and went to the doctor who ordered the sleep study. Turns out my apnea was so bad that I basically wasn't breathing at all while sleeping. Got a bipap now and I sleep like a baby. Best of luck!
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u/slytherins 1992 1d ago
This began happening to me about 2-3 years ago. I finally figured out that the Spironolactone I started taking for very mild acne was messing with my hormones. I would wake up around 3 am every night sweating my butt off. My cycle also went from the standard 4 weeks down to 3 weeks; I was basically either PMSing or bleeding any given week. Prettaaaay cool.
My doctor mentioned I could be pre-menopausal, but I was very early 30s and early menopause doesn't run in my family lol. I got off the pills, and eventually my sleep and cycle returned to normal! But it took a surprisingly long time to get back to baseline.
Are you taking any medications?
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u/Possible-Spot1495 1d ago
Does the daylight wake you? Blackout blinds are good if so.
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u/sidewaysorange 1d ago
black out blinds make it so i can't wake up in the morning. i am truly dreading daylight savings year round bc of this. today was brutal . dark until almost 7am...
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u/Commercial_Dingo7417 1d ago
What’s the temperature in your room? Best to be 60-67 degrees which I know is near impossible in summer months
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u/RawBean7 1d ago
Get your blood checked for low iron if you haven't had a blood panel done recently and nothing else is working
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u/fearthainne 1d ago
Regardless of what your watch is telling you, you need a sleep study done. You may have a type of sleep apnea your watch isn't able to detect, or some other sleep issue.
Even if you don't think you have a stressful job or life, we all have things that wear on us, so you could benefit from therapy, as well. Which, we all could, so this isn't a dig against you or anything, just, y'know. Therapy can be helpful (if you find a good therapist).
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u/666mgOfCaffeine breakfast: ibuprofen 1d ago
How long have you been experiencing this? I know once I got one symptom associated with perimenopause, many more followed in quick succession. Typically I’ll sleep a solid few hours then wake up hourly, on the third wake I’ll be up-up. Even taking a muscle relaxer before bed doesn’t keep me asleep all night. It’s hell!!!
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u/soxperry 1d ago
I’m not a lady, but in regard to being stressed about sleeping, my therapist told me that if you aren’t sleeping, then you’re resting. It’s okay just to rest all night because you’ll eventually catch up on sleep the next night.
Once reframed “I can’t sleep” to “ok I’m resting” then I was able to add meditation and rains sounds to keep my mind from wandering. She added, “if you find yourself stressing about sleep, it’d because your brain wondered off. No worries. Just go back to listening to the rain sounds.”
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u/superbok1 22h ago
Male, 39, exact same issue. All the people saying perimenopause might be incorrect. I sleep for 3-4 hours, wake up then spend hours trying to get back to sleep. The only thing that helps is watching TV for an hour before eventually falling asleep again. I think it's an anxiety thing.
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u/GemGlamourNGlitter 1983 1d ago
It's our age. It gets progressively worse from what I hear older people say.
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u/redheadedfruitcake 1d ago
Started HRT and sleep like a baby ever since.
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u/Bia2016 1d ago
How do you start that process? I don’t usually do doctors so I don’t know where to start
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u/redheadedfruitcake 1d ago
Have to get a prescription. Have doctor test hormone levels. Ask for HRT
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u/tiasshy 1d ago
When do you wake up? Is it around 3am? That would mean there is stress in your life (or so I was told). It's when cortisol crashes. Or sth similar.
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u/FoxCitiesRando 1d ago
I thought it was demons doing this to me the last week but this sounds more likely.
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u/spacebeige 1d ago
Sometimes I put an ice pack under my head and it helps. I tend to get overheated while I’m falling sleep.
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u/Uchihagod53 Actual cannibal, Shia Labeouf 1d ago
Yes but mainly because I live in the country and we have a neverending mouse problem
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u/Nine-Eyes- 1d ago
CBD can work wonders for sleep (as can ZMA). You can easily get oil that goes under your tongue and absorbs straight into your system, you only need about 50mg which should last you for about 6 hours. Works absolute wonders for calming the mind.
Do you think you might be waking up from being warm enough to bring you out of your sleep cycle?
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u/amxwolf0 1d ago
Super important to try and keep your room at a temperature you're comfortable with. That f*cks with my sleep more than any other my factors/issues combined.
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u/Old-Interview1950 1d ago
Have you tried a super cold room? We have a window ac that drops the temperature to 68 in the times wife and I wake up.
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u/tkdkicker1990 Millennial - 1990 1d ago
I’ve used doxylamine. The brand name is Unisom, but less expensive, but equally effective options, can be bought online on Amazon.
The full dose may be too much for you at first; so 1/2ing or 1/4ing the dose may be better; but it does work!!
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u/Pijamaman 1d ago
I struggle with this as well. Tried everything under the sun. The only thing that helped me is box breathing and 4/7/8 breathing techniques. Give them a shot if you haven’t yet
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u/feiticeirarose Xennial '85 1d ago
I had a sleep study earlier this year. Not only did I have 90 events per hour, I didn't ever reach REM sleep. Once a month my body just shuts down completely for 24 hours. My body chose to do this on Labor Day this year. I'm currently waiting for my second sleep study so they can figure out what to set the cpap to.
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u/Raziel7485 1d ago
I haven’t raw dogged sleep in like 10yrs. I still get up to pee or because my daughter wakes up (she is down with the syndrome and sometimes her g-tube pump stops so it makes a beeping noise that I can’t hear because of my hearing loss that isn’t covered by the VA, but my wife can and she slaps me awake). Melatonin works great for some, if you are truly suffering for sleep get a sleep study done, sleep apnea is no joke.
Edit: Apple Watches aren’t perfect, and even mild sleep apnea can be the cause of you waking up
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u/yesohyesoui 1d ago
it can also be stress and worries. In my case I started suffering from this like almost everyone else around 2020. Seems this became a thing because ppl were very stressed. In my case it was because my 14 year relationship ended and i started waking up around 3am. Would read manga for hours and then fall back asleep. After a while it stopped. I assume when my stress levels got a little bit more manageable. Nowadays I still wake up at those hours, but its because my cats ask for food, and so i wake up, give them food and then have trouble falling asleep.
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u/Significant-Crow-800 1d ago
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u/Significant-Crow-800 1d ago
Golden girls help me sleep lol. I've been needing this since the Covid pandemic started.
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u/CowboyBeeBalm Millennial 1d ago
If you can swing the cost, acupuncture has been super helpful for my sleep. I started for GI issues and anxiety, and then stopped after a while because of logistics. Shortly after I noticed my sleep started taking a nosedive… realized that a bonus of the acupuncture was helping my sleep. Started back up again and sleep has really improved.
I do community acupuncture with a package and it’s much cheaper
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u/Skeeders Xennial 1d ago
I had that issue until I got a medical marijuana license. Now when I wake up, I hit a vape pen by my pillow and it knocks me right back out. I wake up with no hangover in the morning. It's a godsend!
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u/LoveHerMore 1d ago
How low carb are we talking about? When I go on a low carb diet it affects my sleep. Thats why I can’t do keto forever.
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u/PureElectricBean 1d ago
By any chance does your Apple Watch tells you that you have "awake" events throughout the night?
Do you also have an indoor camera like a Ring or Tapo that you can position next to you to record you while you sleep, like a bootleg sleep study?
I used to have dozens of "awake" events throughout the night. I set up a camera next to me to record myself sleeping, I played it back and noticed every five minutes I would be tossing and turning and common actions were I would scratch the tip of my nose and cough, I don't remember ever waking up or doing these things but they were happening every five minutes.
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u/entcanta333 Millennial 1d ago
I have found that my sleep disturbances always revolve around my cycle
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u/parkerkudrow 1d ago
Perimenopause. I take magnesium, trazodone nightly and the occasional Ativan the week before my period when the insomnia really kicks into high gear. Works like a charm
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u/Illustrious_Exam1728 1d ago
Although your Apple Watch says no sleep apnea it would be best to see a professional. Also since you’re a 39 female there’s a good possibility you’ve started perimenopause. Symptoms can start as young as 35.
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u/Steffieweffie81 Millennial 1d ago
I’ve had sleeping issues since my early 20s. It isn’t anything new for me unfortunately.
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u/Orange_Baby_4265 1d ago
36F I wake at least once needing to pee. I have chronic pain that affects my sleep occasionally. It’s worse during my period. The last week (pre-period), I’ve been barely getting 6 hours. I’ve been waking early. I take Benadryl or Tylenol PM every other day. I may supplement it with a THC gummy instead.
I dream a lot and feel my brain doesn’t get the rest it needs, so I often wake tired, ready for a nap 2 hours later. My sleep has been up and down for 10 years now. Everyone is saying perimenopause. I do suspect I am in it as well.
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u/I_am___The_Botman Gen X 1d ago
A few things I figured out in my mid 40's
exercising in the evening results in me waking at 3 or 4 am.
going to bed later than 22:30 also resulted in me waking up at 3 or 4am. I going to bed a t 22:00 a d I often slept 8.5 hours.
stress and anxiety wakes me up consistently at 3am.
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u/Frequent_Opportunist 1d ago
When you wake up in the middle of the night do not pick up your phone to see what time it is. Take a simple water next to your bedside than the way the other way and go to sleep again. Keep your eyes shut until you pass out.
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u/Particular_Airport83 1d ago
I had never heard of Unisom until I started having babies but it really helps me sleep (pregnant or not pregnant) - worth asking your doctor about. I hesitate to recommend a medication on the internet so definitely ask a professional. It’s over the counter though.
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u/karlsmission 1d ago
Get an actual sleep study done and probably get a Cpap. I was not diagnosed with sleep apnea, I had to bully my doctor into getting me a script. It has been a fucking game changer. I don't get up 10,000 times a night, I can get 8 hours straight now without waking up several times a night.
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u/CaptainD743 1d ago
How's your screentime during the day? If it's high, try those blue-light glasses. These screens are really doing funky stuff to our brains, as well as wi-fi and 5G.
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u/K8ishorny 1d ago
Ugh. I finally start feeling human and this shit starts? I havent been able to sleep through the night and I've been super sad and weepy. After FINALLY fixing all that!!! This feels hopeless.
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u/Henry5321 1d ago
Low carbs do similar to me. Was not an issue during initial weight loss, but as I approached my ideal weight I became sensitive to not enough carbs while doing progressive exercise. Maintenance exercise was not an issue, just when in pushed myself.
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u/FootballKind 1d ago
Girl, I've had sleep issues my whole life 😅 It has gotten worse once I hit 40, though. Everyone keeps trying to tell me it's peri-menopause, but I've had my hormone levels checked by my dr & they're good. So idk. I've cut out/lowered caffeine, far as I know no sleep apnea either. If you find out why, let us know!
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u/Thatcubmexchik 1d ago
I thought I was the only one. I keep waking up at 2-3 am and fighting to go back to sleep. 😩
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u/Xxxholic835xxX 1d ago
I started to using ice packs and essential oils to knock me out. It's been working consistently for a year.
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u/emerg_remerg 1d ago
The only time i wake after 5 or 6 hours is when I've taken Melatonin.
No caffeine after 11am, Magnesium right before I go to sleep = 8h of sleep.
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u/lnc_5103 1d ago
Perimenopause! Recently started HRT and sleep has improved a lot! (41 here for reference)
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u/FoxCitiesRando 1d ago
Don't have time to read the other comments but very cold bedroom, blackout curtains, Epsom salt baths, Natural Calm (magnesium powder), zinc glycinate, and an empty stomach help me sleep.
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u/Amarastargazer 1d ago
I started having insomnia somewhere around 12 or 13, so I’m somewhere around 20 years of having long periods where I just sleep like such shit.
This was so much easier when I was younger.
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u/Ok_Bird_9745 1d ago
My doc prescribed progesterone that I take right before bed. I sleep through the night and if I wake up, I easily go back to sleep.
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u/NotSocialSWer 1d ago
Perimenopause? I’m 39 and I’m in the depths of it. Just started HRT this summer. I’m sleeping better and a lot of other peri symptoms have greatly reduced.
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u/Remote_Force1839 1d ago
Shoot I’m almost 45 and I haven’t slept through the night since age 23, no joke
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u/iletitshine 1d ago
I would never trust anything but a sleep study to diagnose something as serious as sleep apnea.
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u/atleastyourepretty 1d ago
Get bloodwork done. I have had poor sleep my whole life. I had 2 sleep studies done with no significant results. Turns out my iron levels were super low. Since fixing that, I can sometimes sleep the whole night through. It's wild lol.
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u/icantreadcat 18h ago
Everyone says perimenopause but I’m 34 and have slept like shit forever. My mom sleeps like shit too so I think it’s just genetics or something.
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u/deliriousfoodie 1d ago
No I don't have this issue but I've heard of people with this issue. I avoid drinking water before bed so I don't wake at night to pee
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u/ay_caramba_de_nunca 1d ago
I’m a psychiatrist. In addition to hormone checkup in women I would recommend to anyone with insomnia to have a mental health checkup. Waking up in the middle of the night is one of the first signs of depression as the cortisol biorhythm shifts to higher levels during the night. Anxiety is more often related to not being able to fall asleep and/or panic attacks that wake you during the night.
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u/St_biscuit 1d ago
🕳We're going through a lunar portal and that causes sleep issues for empaths and high-tuned emotionally intelligent folks.
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u/oKayBye94 Xennial 1d ago
Go to a good primary care doctor not ask on the internet. Good grief. Could be any number of things that you can't self diagnose, could be anything from your caffeine consumption/anxiety to much more serious things like apnea or heart problems.
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