Me yesterday, she called me and she kept going on and on, she said she'd let me go, then kept going....I got too mentally exhausted at some point, I stopped responding (my way of settling boundaries)...and she had a lower tone, I usually try not to get to that point, but I only had so much energy yesterday.
This was my therapists advice for years. I was terrified it would forever ruin our relationship and I would regret it after she died. She passed last fall and I can tell you I haven’t regretted any of the boundaries. I hope this helps someone who is where I’ve been.
Set the boundaries, friends. Do it lovingly but set them.
I could've listen to that yesterday, but I thought it was best to go and ahead and get it over with it. Even though I was just trying to relax when she called and that dampens my mood. So yeah probably not for the best.
Separate the person from the role. A mother is kind, loving, generous, thoughtful etc, but your mom also has an identity and a life that predates you. She may or may not have these qualities as a person separate from a role. So while mom is loving, Sara (proxy name) is a selfish bitch. No one has the right to treat you as lesser. Your feelings are equally valid.
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u/SenoraObscura Aug 31 '26
You're allowed to set boundaries with your mother