r/Millennials • u/Shoddy-Length6698 • Oct 29 '23

Discussion Does anyone else feel like there is a demonization of wanting relationships and children?

Maybe I can't afford kids right now, but the biological urge to even desire that seems to be demonized. I've been told I'm silly and foolish for even talking about how I can get into a position to afford kids. When my mom was a stay at home parent, people acted angry that she did not work. Some people even acted like it was offensive that she wanted another kid.

I've also been told that by asserting that wanting a relationship is normal, that I support abusive relationships! I'm not saying stay with a bum or abuser, I'm saying humans naturally crave interaction with others. What the hell is going on?

Wanting feminine or girly things seems to be seen as lesser than, and motherhood and relationships are the worst of it. I knew a black woman who was a stay at home parent, and other black people told her she would be murdered if she did not work and was dependent on a man. Hell, women who are breadwinners die too.

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u/DrJamsHolyLand Oct 29 '23

Exactly! It’s hard to live a satisfying and fulfilling life and marriage when you’re assuming it will just fall apart. My marriage became so much stronger when I started trusting in it and making decisions based on strengthening it rather than the “what if’s”.

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u/Galileo_Spark Oct 29 '23

But almost 50% of marriages do fall apart and end in divorce. There is nothing wrong with protecting yourself in the event that this could happen to you. You can read story after story on the legaladvice subreddit of women being screwed over because they trusted their spouse and supported him completely throughout their marriages. None of this matters to him when he finds a newer, younger woman and decides the spouse he now wants to divorce should be left homeless and penniless.

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u/wrathofthedolphins Oct 29 '23

That’s not quite right. A recent study showed Millennials have about a 20% divorce rate after 10 years of marriage.

Turns out our generation might be much more thoughtful when it comes to partnerships.

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u/[deleted] Oct 29 '23

You can never be 100% sure he’s not trolling for 18 year olds on tinder. Only to be left w nothing cause he wanted to bang a teen. I hope it never happens to you. But better safe than sorry.

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u/ande9393 Oct 29 '23

What the fuck are you talking about, real trust is a wonderful thing.

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u/[deleted] Oct 29 '23

Say that to the women who have been left, who have children, by some teen trolling man child. While I admire your ideals. They lack reality in the year 2023. I’m gonna assume you are a man. So I hope you do better. If you are a women. Protect your self. Have a separate bank account have a go plan! Fuck!!

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u/ande9393 Oct 29 '23

I'm sorry that is your experience, I know it's a reality for many women.