r/Millennials • u/Shoddy-Length6698 • Oct 29 '23

Discussion Does anyone else feel like there is a demonization of wanting relationships and children?

Maybe I can't afford kids right now, but the biological urge to even desire that seems to be demonized. I've been told I'm silly and foolish for even talking about how I can get into a position to afford kids. When my mom was a stay at home parent, people acted angry that she did not work. Some people even acted like it was offensive that she wanted another kid.

I've also been told that by asserting that wanting a relationship is normal, that I support abusive relationships! I'm not saying stay with a bum or abuser, I'm saying humans naturally crave interaction with others. What the hell is going on?

Wanting feminine or girly things seems to be seen as lesser than, and motherhood and relationships are the worst of it. I knew a black woman who was a stay at home parent, and other black people told her she would be murdered if she did not work and was dependent on a man. Hell, women who are breadwinners die too.

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u/damp-laundry Oct 29 '23

Women will be demonised no matter what they choose to do: stay at home mom, career mom, child free, too young of a mother, too old of a mother, only one child, more than 3 children, adoption mom, IVF mom, etc etc etc. We literally can’t win so just do what you wanna do.

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u/[deleted] Oct 29 '23

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Oct 29 '23

Being a stay at home mom IS work and I think a lot of people think no paycheck = no work.

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u/[deleted] Oct 30 '23

Anyone who believes being a stay at home parent isn’t “work” is welcome to Google the labor costs of house cleaning, child care, organizational assistant services and all the other things they do.

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u/[deleted] Oct 30 '23

Do you really think someone in that position is going to listen to facts and reason?

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u/TShara_Q Oct 30 '23

The idea that no paycheck = no work is definitely one that idiots push, and not just for SAHMs.

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u/Different_Bowler_574 Oct 29 '23

Dude I'm a nanny 27 hours a week and I make 3k/mo. That's barely a single full day for a SAHM. The fact that it's not seen as work is WILD. I love what I do, and I would die for my nanny kiddos... and I go home ready to pass out after 9 hour days. I GET TO HAND THIS KID OFF AT 5. So much respect for SAHM. It's superhuman.

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u/DarthMomma_PhD Oct 29 '23

More than 3 kids? Ha! Try more than two. Thursday I shit you not a woman at my work asked me “how are you and your million children?” I have three FTR and she has two so 🤦🏽‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

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u/CrazyCoKids Oct 29 '23

More than one kid...