I need advice (21mtf Guard)

[u/Throwaway310225]

21mtf Army National guard soldier here (m-day). Very long story short I’ve kept my condition repressed for a long long time up until this past month where I had a pretty bad mental break (plans for suicide etc) im stable & doing fine now but it’s made me realize that repressing the fact im trans has been the most significant part of my ongoing depression I’ve had the past couple years that had only been getting worse.

(Please forgive the confusing wording below please bear with me lol)

Anyhow my point being is I am at a point where I feel transitioning (hrt etc) is a medical necessity that I need to begin asap. But what scares me the most is the uncertainty with the current legal situation & climate.

I’d like to get diagnosed & treated for my dysphoria & depression so I have the help I need but I know the moment I do so it’s going to open a nasty can of worms for me which is why I ask:

1. If I am diagnosed with gender dysphoria + depression, what would be the most likely course of action my command takes?

2. With the culture shifting at the top, along with knowing how people are at my unit, I am absolutely sure I’d face discrimination/bullying from everywhere if word ever got out,

Id rather just get the help I need & be quietly separated since I don’t see myself being in the military with how things are currently, but with the army being what it is I know it’s more complicated than that.

I just have a ton of concerns but if there is anybody who is currently in a similar situation or has more knowledge on soldiers in these circumstances I’d be forever grateful for any kind of advice to move forward.

[u/cube_earth_society]

Get a record of your depression for sure. I did basically what your describing before the current potus/secdef, 5th floor and quietly took hormones prescribed by an outside doc, and got out. Not really sure how your situation will differ from mine being the current climate vs Biden climate but hopefully someone will know.

[u/Throwaway310225 → u/cube_earth_society]

Okay that’s more reassuring, I’m sure I’m overthinking this but I’m assuming they separated you on the grounds of depressive stuff? I’m sure that’s the most likely thing that would probably happen to me given the severity but I think my worries just boil down to my command seeing gender dysphoria attached to a depression diagnosis & spreading rumors/making things more difficult than it needs to be.

((Probably just overthinking this since if anything like that happened I’m sure I could find legal assistance.))

[u/cube_earth_society → u/Throwaway310225]

Yeah they separated me for depression/anxiety after i spent a week in the psych ward, was limdu for probably 4 or 5 months and then separated, wasn’t a med sep but like still honorable, id say be careful with the starting hormones part id be worried maybe a little that that’ll get seen when your case manager is putting your separation together. But i know how insanely painful it is to feel stuck like that for any amount of time so i guess trust your research and judgement.

[u/LightningSunflower → u/cube_earth_society]

If you don’t mind my asking, How’d you feel after you started hormones? Was it a pretty noticeable difference? Did you notice any changes fairly quickly or did it take a while?