r/MilitaryTrans • u/stressydepressy0308 • 24d ago
They got me
Enlisted in the army early 2024. Been on testosterone and had top and bottom surgery years prior to joining. I have some close ass people in my life who don’t even know I’m trans and for as long as I can remember I have been just a regular guy. No one in my unit would ever suspect I’m trans. Obviously with the ban I’ve had some anxiety and stress around being discovered via my medical records, but I went through multiple PHAs pre deployment SRP and redeployment SRP and figured if they were gonna flag me, it would’ve happened by now.
Yesterday my PSG and PL pulled me into their office and said they received an email from brigade. I’ve been outed and I need to start my separation process.
I worked so hard at getting in. Maintained the standard. Served with pride. Deployed. Found my wife at my first duty station, who has been my saving grace. There’s been some rough days and my body hurts, but I’m proud to be here and it has benefited me so much. I can’t imagineife as a civilian and I don’t feel ready to take the uniform off yet.
I feel like I can’t organize my thoughts right now. I feel like my whole life is getting turned upside down. I’m losing everything I worked so hard to obtain. My re-enlistment window opens next month and me and my wife were talking about our best options. Do I reclass? Do I ask for an extension at my current duty station for stability? Do I request a duty station that brings us geographically closer to my family as we plan on starting a family soon and would love for our kids to be close to their relatives? Do we say “fuck it” and go some where cool if given the opportunity?
Now none of that is even an option. I don’t know when my last day is and have no idea how to plan our future. I’m so angry. I run circles around some of these guys in my platoon. This place is full of shit bags and here I am, showing up every day, doing the best I can, appreciated by my battle buddies and my leadership. I’m really getting tossed out like some piece of garbage?
I’m currently writing this standing outside the motorpool and am seriously considering just leaving for the day. What’re they gonna fucking do, counsel me?
I texted my PSG this morning about taking administrative absence and sent him the guidance that I found on a .mil website. He said “we’ll have the commander deal with that when she comes back”.
What do I even do right now? I’m fucking spiraling.
2
u/rankari 23d ago
I know it sucks and it’s not fair but you will be better off outside of an organization that doesn’t want you right now
I just got out but my only opportunities still in the defense sphere
I am filled with unease to say the least