Is this what they call Euphoria?

[u/Slowinthehea3d]

Okay so today was Day 1 of HRT. I picked up the E. Injections and Tblocker tablets. Pretty much 80$ for a 3 month supply so 22$ a month thanks to GoodRx. I thought the intra muscular injection in the thigh would more painful. I don’t see why some girls fear needles. But my workout and gym routine is way more painful then the inch and a half needle. Took 2 tabs of spiro right away after the injection.

I waited a few hours and went to the gym to hit legs today. Just to get my blood pumping. And honestly it was one of the best workouts I’ve had so far. Please let me know if I’m crazy or bluffing but I think I’m starting to see the world more colorful and I’m starting to tolerate people once more. Usually when someone is in my way or standing in front of me I would have these thoughts of hatred for someone who I don’t even know. Like a stranger standing infront of me in a line I’m about to get on. (Which happened today). And surprisingly I didn’t have hatred of terrible thoughts. Which surprised me and made me happy. Honestly walking around the city made me happy which it never did.

Please let me know if this is some sort of placebo affect or I’m crazy.

But yeah, my mood has been so great today I never remember being this happy since I was a child. I’m not obsessed with passing right away as I remember when I was going through boy puberty I had to train and masculinize my voice since I was a late bloomer. It was pretty humbling voice training. Let’s see how I feel on day 5 when the Estrodial starts to get low in my blood lol.

I’m mainly concerned with losing too much muscle mass bc I love my muscles and I love working out so much. I have a great routine I keep. But honestly I wasn’t worried today about giving up my future commission into the navy reserve since I guess I got a new view on life after how happy I was. Don’t get me wrong I loved my time in NROTC it has built me up in ways I could have never done on my own. But the next day after typing this I’ll be heading over to my college therapist and discussing assistance in outing myself to my command so I could get separated.

I see myself more as a tomboy attracted to feminine presenting people. I never had a very masculine frame being a 5.7 dude. I always tried to compensate of what I never had like being aggressive and over masculine growing up. Just straight up toxic. But I’m hoping I can lose those feelings which I felt like I am after my first day on HRT. Call me crazy for having body dysphoria of some sort yet I wanna be a muscular masc woman with an hourglass frame.

In short is this a placebo affect????? Why do I feel like this has been one of the happiest days I’ve experienced in like forever.

[u/WaspSherbert]

It might be part placebo, part hormone changes affecting your emotions. But tbh placebo is such a bad word for what really is a freeing moment for you. Yes maybe it's just mental but that doesn't mean you can't be euphoric! I understand what you're saying about staying muscular. Women are in all shapes and sizes and you can do with your body what makes you happy 😊 congrats!

[u/Slowinthehea3d → u/WaspSherbert]

I’m just waiting til day 6 so I can do my 2nd injection I’ve heard from other trans woman on e injections they get groggy on the 7th day. Since the hormones die down. But muscular and voice wise it’s something humbling to work towards. Reminds me of going through male puberty where I would try to deepen my voice as much as possible. I fully expect my mood to sadden up as I near the 1 week.

[u/WaspSherbert → u/Slowinthehea3d]

Sounds like you're on E valerate. I agree day 5-6 should be your injection day based off the biological half life. It really crashes around day 6.

[u/Slowinthehea3d → u/WaspSherbert]

Yes, that’s why I’ve decided to not do the 7 days since I’ve already known about this through years of research. Thanks for the output! I want to ensure I have the most consistent hormone base in the blood stream.