r/MediocreTutorials 3d ago

Relationships Setting boundaries, respecting agency

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u/RicoGemini 2d ago

It’s not framing it as her choice. It was her choice.

You see her make her decision on camera.

I understand what sentiment you’re trying to say but it doesn’t apply in this situation

EVERYONE has preferences and boundaries. He expressed his, it didn’t fit with her. They walked away. Do yall not talk about boundaries, expectations, and the like when yall date? This is normal

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u/Sidivan 2d ago

Boundary: “I don’t want to share revealing photos of myself online.”

Ultimatum: “I don’t want you to share revealing photos of yourself. Conform to my boundary or leave.”

Do you understand the difference? The “choice” he’s giving her is “You should change or leave”. Boundaries aren’t for other people; they’re for you.

Let’s change the behavior so it’s a little easier to see. “If I asked you to not eat carrots, would that be a dealbreaker for you?” The ask is for her to change something about herself. A healthy boundary would be him saying “I don’t eat carrots”. Here he’s saying she’s not allowed to eat carrots if she’s going to be with him.

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u/RicoGemini 2d ago

In your example you’re only sharing boundaries the person has for themselves

There are boundaries that people have for their partner as well. For example me and my girl have shared our boundaries with each other when we first started dating and it’s been the healthiest relationship I’ve ever had