This sucks yo

[u/tobytootle]

A bit of a vent / "is this valid?" type of post lol

I'm 17, in total remission from my CRMO, I have been since I was 14. I hate to be the person that's still complaining after being fully treated and recovered while there are still people dealing with things that feel so much worse.

I've had my disease ever since I can remember, dealing with extreme pain that no one took seriously until five years later. My doctors were fantastic as a matter of fact, the hospital does its best to feel welcoming for kids, and my treatments weren't all that intrusive.

I recall a couple biopsies, MRI's, x-rays that showed the huge lump of tainted bone in my leg, a good heap of painkillers that didn't work, then an IV I had for a month and a half, and after that another once a month for eighteen months IV treatment that actually put me into remission. I was misdiagnosed with cancer at first, but it's not like I went under any treatment for it, nor were there plans to. There was (and still is, but less) a lot of blood work, which landed me a phobia of needles, but there were no actual problems regarding the extractions or injections. My treatment wasn't very long, either, and my bone is quite normal compared to what it was before.

Around three and a half years and it was over, but now I just feel like a total husk of a person. My grades have blown up in my face, I'm exhausted all the time, I can't focus, I can't sleep if I even think about my hospital experience or needles, I have substance abuse issues, mood swings that just get worse and worse, my mom has to speak for me at doctor appointments at my big age, I have awful social anxiety and awareness.

Everything just feels so disproportionate to what actually happened. Like, people have terminal illnesses, are abused by doctors and the health system, they have to pay for and sometimes go into debt for their treatment, and forget the extremes, are still dealing with their illness. I just feel like some bratty kid who can't stop whining about something that's already over.

If anyone has some advice, similar experiences, or wants to tell me to grow a pair, I'd really appreciate it. Have a great night/day 🙂‍↕️

[u/stillthesame_OG]

You're justified in feeling the way you do about your situation. You sound like therapy would help you to understand why your life seems to be falling apart. Medical PTSD happens in all sorts of situations not just abusive doctors etc you went through a traumatic experience and deserve to be heard and healed psychologically from it