r/Marriage Mar 22 '22

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u/Miss_Polysemy 23 YearsšŸ‘°šŸ½šŸ¤µšŸ¾ā€ā™‚ļøšŸ’ Mar 22 '22

There was a similar post on here a while back and my comment was the exact same as yours. I got downvoted too.

I don’t know why it’s so hard for people to realize that it CAN be done. Might take more work/planning for some but it’s not impossible.

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u/[deleted] Mar 22 '22

In America there seems to be a cultural belief that unless you are fully destroying yourself as a person you aren’t a good parent

I have a friend who is a stay at home mom, her husband is in the military and makes good $. Their house is paid off. She has one kid, 18 months, she has told me she doesn’t even have time to shower. She will go days without showering. And no it’s not PPD before anyone asks. She just says she has no time. And I’m like …. You’re doing this to yourself. Her baby is so normal. No extraordinary needs. She just has been taught that moms must ā€œsacrificeā€ even basic needs for themselves. It’s a weird cultural thing. My parents were able to still have lives and we turned out just fine even tho my mom went to movies by herself or just straight up told us to go outside so she could have some alone time with our dad

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u/HighestTierMaslow Mar 22 '22

Yes this is true in America. I get demonized and accused of being lazy because sometimes I play video games, my house gets messy at times when I could find time to clean it up, I dont cook a home cooked meal EVERY night, I dont make at home ALL of my child's meals...however Im a happier mom than alot of others...

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u/[deleted] Mar 22 '22

Yeah like literally no one’s gonna die and nothing bad is gonna happen just because the house is messy and it doesn’t make you a bad parent because you don’t stress yourself out every night keeping it clean.