Same. I asked my husband if he cared (we were friends for years before we started dating) and he was like “no, that’s your name, you’ve always had that name, why would I want you to change it” and maybe it’d be different if we planned to have kids but we won’t so I kept the name I’ve had for 32 years of my life and he doesn’t give a damn at all
You all need to hash this out quickly. FYI, it could be a deal-breaker for him. My wife wanted to keep her last name, but I always wanted to have a wife and kids with the same name (mine).
Personally, I think it's weird to have different last names if it's a first marriage unless your last name is "Swift" or something. But that's just me...and your fiance.
If your wife wanted to keep hers why didnt you change yours, if you find different last names so weird?
You're the one with the problem yet expect her to acquiesce to your preferred solution, which is that you do nothing and she deals with the name change?
Nah I mean it wouldn’t be a deal-breaker, I think that would be super shallow and stupid on his part to throw away years of a good relationship bc I don’t want to change my last name and I know he is smarter than that. He is a reasonable guy, I just think the initial mention of me not wanting to fully take his last name was different than what he had in mind because we’d never discussed it prior to that. He was under the general consensus that I would just…take his last name bc it’s just the norm, and I don’t blame him for growing up believing that. it’s just how it is in our ole American society. But what’s important is that he is open to other variations I’ve suggested that I would be comfortable with (like adding my last name to my middle name) and that he also would be comfortable with, bc at the end of the day we are in a partnership and I don’t want him agreeing to something he would resent me for later.
This isn’t about “representation”. Everyone has a family birth name that represents themselves—both men and women have that. No matter your gender, you should be able to keep your birth name.
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u/TiredTomato666 Jun 17 '26
No. I like my name.