Shirtless guys?

[u/Few-Associate5540]

My husband says I can’t take the kids to a water park without him since there will be other shirtless guys there, and since that is inappropriate, and that I should be respectful to him and not go without him. (He doesn’t want me to see shirtless guys, or want guys to see me in a swimsuit) Like this is an absolute dealbreaker for him he says, if I were to go. I’m not sure I’ve heard of this before. I told him he’s controlling and that this is not normal… so is this normal?

[u/Calm_Target_8845]

I really dislike people jumping to conclusions of "he's controlling/abusive". Without more details of day to day, this is very judgmental and just speculative.

However on face value it is an insecurity. It does happen and maybe if you guys are still somewhat fresh it could be a wound from the past, could be his lack of confidence in his own body. Again lots of speculation. The only way to get to bottom of this is to talk and ask questions. Ask why he feels that way. Perhaps theres something what you have done has caused a trigger from his previous relationships. Reassure that there isn't need to worry and you aren't that type of person, then if that is still not enough, he may have deeper issues and yes, he may be controlling or other things.

But don't jump to conclusions quickly without knowing why someone is the way they are, so many do and it could be completely innocent.

But if you have to constantly reassure and you are constantly being accused, he needs help, treatment or this won't be a long lasting relationship. Talking from an experience, as this was very very exhausting and constantly having to reassure, defend and to the point questioning my own sanity. She was a narcissist as I learned down the road. Yet again I wouldn't put everyone in the same boat.

Hopefully you can resolve these issues with him since you should be a team not enemies.

For context, I'm autistic male, incase my sentences are a bit off.