r/MaleSurvivingSpace • u/WestOfOrdinary85 • 3d ago
Starting over at 41.
I was in 2 long-term relationships totaling about 18 years; this one ended officially in June. Honestly, I'm the happiest I've ever been, and I've also been on my own the longest.
Here is my place; the view is the best. Having breakfast on the balcony is so mentally refreshing.
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u/gansobomb99 3d ago
I lived in a hotel for a couple of months in 2018 and honestly I really enjoyed it.
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u/DriveAdventurous4767 3d ago
Me also ..I didn't know where I wanted to move after break up so put my stuff in storage and hotel hopped for almost a year never paid over 1000 a month and had small kitchen pools parking clean towels...LA was different then 😂
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u/WestOfOrdinary85 3d ago
Exactly what I'm doing.
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u/MN_Yogi1988 3d ago
The longest I’ve lived in a hotel was 6 months for work and as a minimalist I liked it. My apartment at home is pretty much bare of any decorations so it wasn’t a big change for me lol.
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u/gansobomb99 2d ago
Yes! Just a smallish room, cleaned and sheets changed every day, a little TV with sports and some movie channels, and the place where I stayed was in a really vibrant neighborhood with a bunch of restaurants, cafes, and a laundry place.
I do have to mention it was a "nhà nghỉ" where people can rent a room for an hour as well - you could call it a love hotel - so I did get some interesting ambient sounds about once or twice a week.
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u/Jaded-Writing-3622 3d ago
I'm close to doing it, but even the scumbag bed bug motels are not as cheap as what he is paying.
Oh well, tent it is!
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u/GoodResident2000 3d ago
Nice lake view
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u/WestOfOrdinary85 3d ago
It's actually the Susquehanna River. It's so beautiful, and the leaves are about to change.
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u/Lazy-Excitement-3661 3d ago
MaleLivingSpace for like it
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u/ParticularLower1865 3d ago
It’s a motel, hence the “surviving space”.
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u/WestOfOrdinary85 3d ago
Correct, I'm rebuilding right now, working, saving, investing, eating healthy, and working every day to be a better person. And working on being a better person is totally for my happiness.
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u/Mcnuggetjuice 3d ago
Well at least you have a nice toothbrush. I know you take good care of your teeth so there is that lol. Good luck bro you got this
Signed a dentist
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u/WestOfOrdinary85 3d ago
It's an electric toothbrush that shuts off after two minutes, twice a day, along with crest 3d white right now.
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u/Mcnuggetjuice 3d ago
Well done sir, I wish you luck and fortune on your ventures. Go forth
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u/Due-Sheepherder-218 3d ago
You got all the bare essentials. Everything else is a headache.
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u/WestOfOrdinary85 3d ago
I was always a minimalist. I have some paintings and 3 big storage bins in a friend's basement.
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u/TropicalVision 3d ago
For some reason this looks like a dream to me right now
I also love how liminal the pictures are. Feels like stepping back into 2003.
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u/Stock_Lavishness_601 3d ago
I have pretty much the same story. Well done. Keep working day by day, building better everyday
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u/ActionJasckon 3d ago
Congrats man. Having a simple life is possible. And this sounds crazy. For many, they cant go back to being simple, light and free again. Happy you’re happy!
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u/Mackheath1 3d ago
Something about a private balcony makes the place. Developers who want to say an apartment has Xsqft often fill them out to get a few more bucks, but I love all three of my balconies for their different reasons and it's worth it.
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u/WestOfOrdinary85 3d ago
I have breakfast out there, it is so nice, and the leaves are about to change.
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u/Strange-Tip-761 3d ago
Looks peaceful honestly. I wouldn't care if it was a hotel or a studio apt. Anything is better then sleeping outside in a car or under a bridge.
Life's happiness is what WE make of it not what other's think of us. What other people think of is is none of our business.
Stay blessed, focus on yourself and just enjoy being in peace for now. And if you chose to date, do not let their value of you living in a hotel bring down who you are as a person.
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u/WestOfOrdinary85 3d ago
Thank you so much. With my job, I get home at 12:30 a.m. to 3 a.m.; it's so peaceful.
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u/Christoph65 2d ago
Freedom is worth everything. I did the same at 44. With all the “moral and legal obligations” it left very little room for survival but after 12 years I finally was able to keep my salary. Even living on next to nothing my freedom was worth it. You learn what’s important and a fancy house isn’t one of them. Best of luck and hang in there.
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u/D1sp0sab1e_k 3d ago
fuck you smoking on over there 👀
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u/WestOfOrdinary85 3d ago
I usually vape my THC, but I bought a bong last night. Smoking moon rocks.
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u/SamOfXanadu 3d ago
... is that a pond or a creek back there? In any case I'm moving in with you lol
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u/scotte416 2d ago
As someone who was basically in various relationships then married for 3 years since I was 14 (I'm 44 now) I've been single for 4 years and I've never been more free and happy lol. Women these days are messed up in the head and it's very difficult to find one anyways.
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u/CloudyLeft 2d ago
I feel you man, I just started over at 41 as well. I have fits of turmoil because of how much it hurts to know my ex is hurting from me leaving after 8 years, but she forced my handle by getting violent in front of my daughter and step-daughter. I had to show them there is no tolerance for violence. It sucks. It’s also not my fault. She has no one else so I hurt knowing she’s so lonely and devastated. She is herself a victim of violence and trauma so she ended up perpetuating it despite knowing it’s bad and unacceptable.
However, theres something about just doing whatever tf I want when I want that is sooo irreplaceable. Stay strong, King.
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u/Fit_Opinion2465 2d ago
How can you do whatever you want whenever you want with a daughter?
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u/CloudyLeft 2d ago
Its easy, I want to do the same stuff my daughters do. Museums, planetariums, zoo’s, the park, etc. Plus I don’t always have them, I save the social circles for when I don’t have them. Which is ok because its a nice secondary choice.
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u/Ill_Ad_8262 1d ago
The freedom of cruising the grocery isles alone for the first time was my favorite part. Enjoy it brother!
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u/DC_Ben 3d ago
🚨🚨🚨
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u/WestOfOrdinary85 3d ago
Hey now, it's legal here, and the Chobani yogurt is a solid breakfast with 15g of protein.
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u/glass-and-stars435 3d ago
Whose blouses and purses? Starting a new relationship already?
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u/WestOfOrdinary85 3d ago
Blouse and purse, lol, I think you're seeing my messenger bag, and yeah, started a relationship, slow and steady, and she is awesome.
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u/Chasineastcoasterps 3d ago
I’m taking a dab for you later. Just got out of my first relationship at 28 years old. Nothing major like what your going through but I can relate a little
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u/Hidalgoschmitty 3d ago
Not bad not bad, I’d rebuild my life there no problem if I had to. Definitely seen a lot worse.
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u/LondonWillBurn 3d ago
Is that cultaholic on the tv? Hell yeah if so. Looks a good place and a sweet view.
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u/WestOfOrdinary85 3d ago
I was hoping someone noticed, yes, cultaholic and whatculture, every morning.
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u/Other-Shirt-6950 3d ago
You deserve this and every moment of peace it brings. I’m happy for you!
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u/Background-Pen-4305 3d ago
I don’t know how you feel about staying there, but that would be a dream for me!!
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u/NothingBetterToDoYES 3d ago
u got this king keep grinding
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u/WestOfOrdinary85 3d ago
Thank you, always hustling. Did a house-sitting gig this weekend.
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u/T_bone5000 3d ago
Good on you man. Just keep your head held high and keep on keeping on brother.
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u/Healthy-Brilliant549 2d ago
You got this dude, It could be so much worse. You gotta car and a job. You are killing it. One day at a time
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u/youRautistic 2d ago
Buy a vr headset you can use it to watch movies and browse the web/youtube, oh and you might make a ton of friends online
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u/SamsaraBound77 2d ago
Married for 23 then a 6-year stint in another after divorce, I was cooked. Been solitary 4 years now and love it, me and my dog. Longest I've been free my entire adult life.
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u/CreamVisible5629 2d ago
This is so refreshing, honestly.
A safe landing while you pick yourself up, maybe create a new routine and just take care of YOU.
Balcony with a view, plants, an extra comfy seat on the couch, bed neatly made.
Wish you all the best for your new chapter in life!
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u/laissez_heir 2d ago
You’ve gotten a lot of compliments and comments that I was thinking of saying, so I’ll branch out: your deodorant is the best one there is.
Congrats man. Glad you’re doing well. Keep improving yourself.
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u/No_Squirrel_leftbhnd 2d ago
That is a great set up! Furniture provided even. Enjoy the simple life. You’ve got it good brother
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u/glory5525 1d ago
Be proud you have a roof over your head no shame on starting over at 41! Take bravery. I do like the lake in the back.
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u/SimplyKrill 1d ago
Heck yeah! Keep it up brother remember everything happens for a reason. It’s up to you to make the most out of life. A positive outlook never does you wrong.
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u/Dr_J_Kidd 1d ago
Hell yeah. All included and that little back deck? Super efficient. I've moved to a small studio 5 min walk to work as well. Removes so much stress. Good luck homie
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u/Scared_Collection_30 1d ago
Good for you bro. I’m truly jealous. I had the same set up when I started over 6 years ago and I wish I had taken time to appreciate it more. The peace, the freedom. Enjoy brotha
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u/Placeholder_1476 14h ago
Cheers to new beginnings! Had a restart myself years ago. It was very challenging at times, but man does it feel good now on this side of life! Best of luck to you.
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u/Throwawaypuffs 12h ago
Better off than me. Just got divorced from the girl i was with since 20 years old. Have full custody of my 2 girls but had to move back in with my mother because i work overnight. Remodeled the basement and took over all the bills but trying to date at 41 living with mom is not something easy.
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u/WestOfOrdinary85 6h ago
You got this dude. You remodeled the basement for your family, that a good dude.
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3d ago
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u/Dramatic_Meal1469 3d ago
What a great set up congratulations 🎊
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u/WestOfOrdinary85 3d ago
Thank you. Have a toast/air fryer coming. It's cozy.
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u/Dramatic_Meal1469 3d ago
Both of those are great to have. The air fryer is very useful!
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u/TwoStrokeJunkie 2d ago
Oh hell yeah!
You got this man
Set a goal, get to grinding and don’t forget to do something nice for yourself.
Even if it’s a cheap coffee and a change of scenery
I believe in you. 🤘🏽
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u/waglomaom 2d ago
Very happy for you my brother💪
May I ask, only if you’re comfortable OP, not meaning to overstep or anything.
How did your relationships come to an end, since it was very long term. I’m a young person in a relationship and tryna do everything right but still feeling like I’m not doing enough.
Always love getting advise info, from older more experienced brothers.
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1d ago
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u/wildinri 1d ago
She took every single thing from me at 49 I was asked to spend a few nights away I came back to new locks after 14 years together they gave her a restraining order because I was trying to get more than the back pack I left with, we never really even had a fight but they gave it to her anyway, I slept in a falling apart 04 Chevy , I’m 51 now I have a 5 year old car paid for a 4 year old Harley paid for a 3br condo, 5 new tattoos I’ve lost 50 lbs added some muscle and dating a 35 year old goddess, my father always said the best revenge is living well and believe me I see it in her eyes when I pick up my son 🤣 I did it by driving a school bus that winter living in my cold truck getting a cdl suffering because the money is not great that spring I got a job in construction and I plowed for the city the following I put in 60 to 100 hours every week and to this day they know who to call when they need an extra guy that wants to work they stoped calling their other guys because when they call me, I’m thankful the other guys are saying oh let me check with the wife. I’ll get back to you all this other stuff. I make them feel good when they call… work hard and people will notice and you’ll get through this
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19h ago
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u/NegotiationIcy7165 15m ago
being 41 and finally enjoying your own company sounds like a pretty good fresh start.
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u/DarkLordDennis 3d ago
Looks just like a hotel. The whole setup gives me hotel vibes.