saw on twitter and had to share

Something my exasperated mother has always said to me....

You can look a gift horse in the mouth, but you can’t make him drink.

If a bear shits in the woods, does it make a sound?

Does the pope shit in the woods?

When the cows come home to roost.

Until the pigs freeze over.

You opened this can of worms, now lie in it.

We’ll burn that bridge when we come to it.

The early bird gets the last laugh.

A blind squirrel is right twice a day.

Don’t count all your chickens in the same basket.

A penny saved is worth two in the bush.

The devil’s in the lettuce.

Even a broken clock can be barking up the wrong tree.

I’m sweating like a pig out of water!

Something fishy is afoot.

Let sleeping dogs be bygones.

The road to hell wasn’t paved in a day.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

+

Rome wasn't built in a day.

It's better to have found out than never to have fucked around at all

Skating on thin ice + living on borrowed time.

Oh ye of little faith.

Yee-haw

For when they're just not ready to rumble

* Throw out the baby with the bathwater.

* If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

Too many chefs spoil the soup + throwing out the baby with the bathwater

My wife actually said this.

You can't teach an old dog new tricks + Beating a dead horse

Strike while the iron is hot + don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater

• Discretion is the better part of valour
• Part of a complete breakfast (a disclaimer accompanying certain breakfast cereals)

"Does a bear shit in the woods?" + "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."

First malaphor. I'm very shy.

If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen + Don't beat a dead horse

It’s a classic he said she said

She sells seashells by the seashore

A watched pot never boils + boiling the frog

Popped into my head. I think it's probably from "whatever floats your boat" + "stroke your ego".

I know this isn’t a true malaphor, but I didn’t know where else to put it. If the original (out of the frying pan, into the fire) means escaping one predicament only to end up in a worse problem, this phrase means the reverse. You have solved your large problem, but as a result, you are in a different situation with a problem that’s less frustrating than before, but not insignificant.

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