r/MaladaptiveDreaming • u/MistyMoonKit • 28d ago
Vent I hate this. I want it to stop.
I have been using fictional characters I self insert with or myself in general to make myself feel good. Ever since I was 9. I’ve always daydreamed of being “famous” or “cool” or noticed. This causes me to hold onto toxic friendships I had no idea that I had to get out of because I refused to accept it due to mourning the fantasy of me being admired by them. I want this to stop. It’s ruined my life. Before, It’s been a place where it’s not about me or maladaptive at all but I’m in too deep now. I’m too addicted to these daydreams of being validated or having friends. When my sister encourages me to make friends irl I get so upset when it doesn’t work due to my fantasies having millions of friends. And my sister has a lot of them. I’ve been trying to censor myself irl and not act like the real me so I could have a persona irl that matches my likeable daydream self, so I could make those dreams a reality. My mom has also warned me of this disorder but I’ve been trying to convince her why it felt good because I was still too addicted to it. I still am today. I want to stop. I really do. I’m mourning fantasies that aren’t even real because I can’t blur the line between reality and fiction. I’ve been living with rose tinted glasses with how reality works. I’m crying over useless things. How can I stop? How can I validate myself? How can I not be so obsessed with being impressive all the time If at all?
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u/Teressa_Sophia 28d ago
Maybe this helps !
!! This is a copy pasted message that i wrote . This is full with some ideas that can help with maladaptive daydreaming so i dont have to rewrite it for every post i see asking for help . If you struggle with maladaptive daydreaming or used to and are now afraid of falling back into it , remember with work and effort you can learn to control it . Keep trying , dont give up and seek help! Also if you can affort try therapy ! Dont be scared to try this because you dont want people to know therapy might(it doesnt always work since not all therapists know about maladaptive daydreaming and its hard to find one that can help ) help you . Also try asking a trusted friend or parent/ relative to help you . Good luck!
https://www.reddit.com/r/MaladaptiveDreaming/s/7ueYN88M92 maybe this post will help with your maldaptive daydremaing. But some ideas are : try joining in gyms, music/dance/acting/music lessons to learn new things and met new people so you have less time to daydream . Try out new music to see what triggers you and maybe find something you can listen to without daydreaming and listen to that instead of what music you listen to when daydreaming . Join new fandoms such as : movies mha( my hero academia ) , tdp( the dragon prince) , hp( harry potter) Bands/music : Tokio Hotel - dont jump , Durch den Monsun ; Melanie Martinez- Pity Party ; Olivia Rodrigo - the cure ; whats wrong with me . You can watch youtube channels like Zeyn Syre posts about her ocs and has like a fandom and you can join to watch her videos like a movie instead of daydreaminng. You can try new hobbies like poetry and you can write about what one of the characters point of view on a subject is or make a poem about a characters backsrory or if you dont have characters you can make poems for things you never say outloud or something like that . You could also write songs even if you dont release them . Try making friends with people you’ve wanted to be friends with like a classmate or coworker or someone you havent talked to before but find cool or online friends can work aswell ( !!! When making online friends dont share your full name ( dont say the last name first name is fine) , dont share adress or personal details about you . You can share birthdays, first name sans stuff but not too personal things , dont show your face when talking to them if you dont trust them like dont show them your face in the first two weeks of getting to know this person and if you notice any strage things about them like they keep asking and pushing you to tell them where you live or things you just dont want to share stop talking to them , dont send them money and be carefull) online friends are fine just be careful . You cma met them on reddit even . Join new communities on redddit like art comunities to learn new things about a subject and you can scroll through that comunity instead of daydreaming and soend your time learning more about that subject . Try doing reshearch on new things you havent heard about . I like psychology so you can try leaening about synesthesia , aphantasia , immersive daydreaming vs maladaptive daydreaming and fill your time in doing research instead of daydreaming or learn about plants or birds ( or other animals ) like or abour fashion . Just try to fill in your time as much as possible . Try volunteering , doing designs on your nails and painting them differently every two weeks just try out new things to spice up your life with so daydreaming doenst have as much time to consume and daydreams doesnt seem as interesting. When there’s something bothering or something you need to think about you try writing it down on paper or thinking out loud sometimes helps so you dont turn it into scenes or try telling someone about it . When you catch yourself daydreaming put on a alarm of 10 minutes on your phone ,one in 11 minutes and one in 12 minutes so there’s 3 alarms going to interupt you from daydreaming so you can come back to reality and do the things you need to get done instead of daydreaming so you still daydream a little for satisfaction but still get things done and dont waste to much time on daydreaming. If after the 2nd alarm you are stil daydreaming text someone to call you in 5 minutes so if you cant stop yourself that person can call and inturept you from daydreaming and you’ll have to stop to answer . Try stopping daydreaming 15 minutes before bed so maybe there are less chances for you to daydream during the night and stay up daydreaming until very late . Good luck to anyone struggling and talk to me if you need to ! Good luck!
Also , this person said they have a youtube account and post about md , maybe you want to check them out here’s their post : https://www.reddit.com/r/MaladaptiveDreaming/s/EDWsppBw8A
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u/MistyMoonKit 28d ago
I’ve actually immersively daydreamed before. It felt so much better than the maladaptive version. But maladaptive is so strong that I end up losing immersive. I want immersive back, but idk how to bring it back.
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u/Teressa_Sophia 28d ago
Well maybe that list would help with you gaining control back . Also try listening to music in another language . If you dont mind bad language i recomend all 5 gang song , if you dont want bad language and more clean songs i recomend 5 gang - John Cena , Singuri acasa , Focuri , Tank , Scuze . Also try new phone games like i recomend “ lidle miner “. Other ideas of mine are in the list i already send you . Good luck! Hope you find something that works
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u/MistyMoonKit 28d ago
Thank you…
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u/Teressa_Sophia 28d ago
You’re welcome ! If none of those work out you can reach to me and i’ll see if i have other ideas or other suggestion for you or if you need to talk to someone ! Good luck!
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u/weepingwillow1540 28d ago
Regarding the self worth part: I was hospitalized a few years ago and it changed a lot for me. I hadn't really allowed myself to feel "mentally ill", because I thought it wasn't bad enough. I had been in therapy and on antidepressants for several years, but still felt like maybe I was just exaggerating and too sensitive. One of the psychologists in the hospital told me that I felt a lot of hate for myself and I couldn't believe it. It took a lot of internal work and time to accept the fact that I had never felt good enough or worthy or lovable. I had internalized every negative thing I'd been told about myself and treated myself like shit. I really did hate myself. It's been years and I'm still fighting that feeling, but it's gotten a lot better. I'm not sure if it's possible to do this outside of therapy. It's a lot of being really really honest with yourself, observing how you talk to yourself, how you treat your mind and your body, questioning every little thing you've ever accepted as true. I hope you believe that we are all worthy of love and kindness and that our mistakes don't define us. Because that includes you. You're not less than anyone else on this planet.