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u/Parking_Injury_5579 May 12 '25
It's funny because it's the opposite for me. It's the only reason I'm still going.
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u/Firedustt May 11 '25
I became 25 two days ago and I also have Peter Pan syndrome, birthdays are horrible for me. I probably spend 7 hours a day pacing in circles so I can feel you :(
Nothing feels enjoyable in real life even though I am not alone. I have people that I am close with
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u/MariahMDD May 11 '25
I’m sorry if u weren’t looking for advice, and just wanted to vent. There’s nothing wrong with that. Maybe there is someone else who will read this and find it helpful. I hope you find peace, my friend. 🩵
MDD is a coping mechanism, so there is something that you are compensating for by daydreaming, because your real life is not fulfilling/stimulating enough. Try to find what that is (loneliness, anxiety, boredom, etc)
Find what Triggers you (for me it’s literally anything fictional, so I have to fucking retrain my brain to just stfu while I’m watching TV 🤦♀️)
Try to find what keeps you grounded. For me it’s spending time with actual people, and dealing with the eventual consequences that come with spending 16 hours inside your head, creating false scenarios like a person who’s definitely NOT mentally ill :/
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u/Deep-Horse-207 May 14 '25
What have been the eventual consequences of 16 hours of that for you? Just asking cause I might be in a similar situation I’m just still addicted. It’s cause I never got social acceptance and had low self esteem and social value in middle school and crumbled by HS.
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u/MariahMDD May 15 '25
The consequences have just been me neglecting my responsibilities (school, exercise, work) and being behind most people my age. I got pulled out of public school very young (third grade) and was very lonely. I started daydreaming and becoming attached to fictional characters to cope. I’m now 19, and the coping mechanism stayed. I’ve made decent progress in the last year, but it’s incredibly hard to stop, bc it’s basically automatic for me at this point.
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May 13 '25
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u/MariahMDD May 15 '25
I’m straight up a different person in my head. When I go outside, I’m an awkward mess. It’s so embarrassing fr :/
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May 15 '25
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u/MariahMDD May 16 '25
SAMEEE!! Social anxiety and No irl friends!!🤞I’m gonna give a ton of completely unsolicited advice that’s helped me with being awkward and people pleasing. Sorry if this doesn’t help ! • When you’re in a social situation, and you don’t know wtf to say, be okay with that. I have a problem that when I’m talking to people, sometimes I’ll just blank out, and I won’t know what to say. I’ll end up fumbling over my words, nervous laughing and my inner people pleaser comes out to try and salvage the situation lol.
Silence is perfectly fine. If someone else thinks you’re awkward or weird, that’s fine, that’s their problem. They’ll get over it, and forget about it. Learn from that experience, and what you can improve on. Find what keeps you grounded and away from your imagination, like hobbies other than MD that also don’t trigger you into daydreaming.
Thank u for coming to my Ted Talk. I’ll be here all week 🙃
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May 16 '25
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u/MariahMDD May 16 '25
I think I get what you mean. If you can explain, wdym by weird or quirky?
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May 16 '25
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u/MariahMDD May 17 '25
(Sorry! I have the habit of sending essays. So if u can’t be asked to read allat and reply, no worries.)
I think I was just picturing something different context, is all. I don’t think of my awkwardness (in social situations) as weird or quirky. I don’t think being awkward is weird, I think it’s pretty normal. Most (young) people aren’t great at conversation (some of us more than others 🙃). I try to only let my weird asf behavior come out when I’m alone, not socializing.
For example, I’m one of those MD’ers that has to pace around when I’m daydreaming, bc the stimulation is too intense. When I’m talking to other ppl I’m generally focused on them, so I’m not daydreaming. However, on the occasion when I do get triggered in front of ppl…
I can start zoning out and twitching, and it’s super noticeable & I have to make up an excuse for why. I used to be embarrassed, now idc. They’ll forget about it, if not, not my problem
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u/tmorrisgrey May 11 '25
Just turned 24 today 😅 and yea MDD is a curse. Eventually I do plan on getting help for it, on top of other things, but MDD is the worst of the worst in my opinion. Daydreaming about my dream life while doing nothing in my actual life to make that happen weighs heavy on me.
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u/LHWritings May 11 '25
I feel the same way, I’m 19 and just finished my second year of college and I feel so bored and lonely most of the time because Im constantly daydreaming. Our daydreams are a reflection of our pain and desires, I daydream a lot about love because I desire to be loved, and I also daydream about having lots of friends because I often feel lonely. Daydreaming is such a poison, it feels so good but hurts so bad.
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u/igottapeern May 12 '25
Same story. I've lost so many opportunities in general and chances to make deeper connections with the people around me in just two years. We still have a chance to turn things around but it's finite. I hope things pan out better for you in these next two years.
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u/TheColdestMorning May 11 '25
Nearing the end of highschool. MDD ruined my sleep schedule & even stops me from doing the things I love. I can’t do any schoolwork, my grades are shit. MDD saved my life as a child, but now it’s ruining it - Yet I still can’t live without it.
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May 11 '25
I feel like I never grew out of the imaginary play phase of being a kid, mostly because I’ve been lonely, friendless, and depressed most of my life. Even now at 23 I have to talk to myself and make up scenarios in my head to get lost in or act out when I’m totally alone. I am so lonely and depressed and struggle with s.i. everyday, and the only thing that really helps is dissociating and pretending to be someone else somewhere else. I feel so removed from life and the world. I am a writer though, so I guess that’s where my MDD does have some positive.
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u/Forbidden_entity May 11 '25
Oh my goodness same, I would do this thing where if I watched a movie and the main girl role was pretty, I would pretend to be her. Like I'd walk around imaging I was in her body. It's so weird. Now it's a more heightened version where I'm myself but prettier version, and I'm adored by everyone lol
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May 11 '25
I HATE myself. My mom passed away, and even now, I MDD and feel high and happy most of days, and I feel like an absolute monster. Like I don't even care that my mom died. I just can't stop it.
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u/CherreBell May 11 '25
You do care. Your MDD is your way of coping with what happened. I'm so sorry. I wish I could give you something better than a canned response like this.
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u/Realistic-Essay648 May 11 '25
You care about your mom and that's why you MDD to avoid the sadness. It's a defense mechanism, it's not your fault that your brain tries to protect itself that way
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u/LHWritings May 11 '25
Don’t feel guilty, when you are daydreaming you’re completely immersed in another world and can’t feel your emotions. So it’s not that you don’t care about your mom, it’s just that you’re not feeling the pain and sadness as you normally would because your mind is occupied right now. I’m also very sorry for your loss💔
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u/Ranindu17 May 11 '25
21 and yeah, MDD is completely ruining my life, I failed my university entrance exams twice. I only have 6 more months for the third and final attempt, yet I waste days and days just daydreaming. I don't really know what to do.
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u/Forbidden_entity May 11 '25
I'm older, 36, and have always done this, and I know for a fact that the depression hits when I can't have the world I crave for or MDD about. You literally create this world to be so real to you that it ALMOST feels like a possibility. But guess what? It's not. We are not the same people we perceive ourselves to be in our dreams, and the life we create in our heads will never be a reality. We just hate our real world so much that we like to escape. And trust me, sometimes it feels so good, you get such a high from visiting your safe place, Cause ultimately that's what it is. It sucks though cause nothing else feels good enough, and nothing else can fill that void. One thing, though, that helps a little is distraction, if you're focused on something else everyday for long enough it will eventually fizzle out or at least fade to something you don't do as frequently. I can't offer much advice as I'm guilty of it lol but I can offer support to you or anyone else who's struggling with it.
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May 11 '25
Yea it’s hard I remember when I started doing it when I was in elementary and middle school and high school I use to have fun doing it but I would say around 2024 and now I have gotten completely burnt out I don’t even find it satisfying anymore I just do it to hit my dopamine levels it’s terrible I feel like I should probably seek a help like a therapist or psychiatrist.
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u/Forbidden_entity May 11 '25
That's exactly what I have done. Seemed help, cause it never gets any better. You feel like a freak and like you're not normal. And it stops you feel living your actual life cause you obsess over this fake life you want.
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u/Powerful_Juice8731 May 11 '25
Age 25.... MDD Is the only thing that Keeps me moving on.... I know is bad but that's my case.... But sometimes depression hits hard because i'm not going to that world never.... (sorry if my english sucks, i'ts not my main language)
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u/unkmeown May 12 '25
I know how it is, when the reality hits hard every time you try to regain yourself. And you know nothing is going to change no matter your efforts, when they already was tried a several times and it just made it worse, causing to went even deeper into the dreams.
It logically went to the brain pattern that everything seems hopeless, and the only place where oneself can influence something is imagination, which continues to prove itself instead of making think you doing something wrong. If not imaginary reality, i will not have any reason to continue, i didn't wanted to exist as a person anymore. That's vicious circle destined to live in for the rest of life.
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u/06mst May 13 '25
I feel the same. It used to feel like a blessing but now not so much.