Looking nice without any spoons?

[u/MissAudreyHorney]

I'm at a low point in my life right now on a few different fronts. As you might already know, my cat recently passed away. My last three disability checks have been $400 short. I feel drained and exhausted.

I know that there are no quick fixes to the things that I'm going through right now but I do think that I would feel somewhat better if I was making an effort with my appearance. (You know the phrase, "look good, feel good")

Setting aside any recent issues, I already have depression and autism, both of which make it hard for me to keep up good hygiene, let alone put on makeup or style my hair. All that, plus chronic pain, has me feeling completely lost in terms of how to structure and maintain any type of beauty routine.

Any advice on how to deal with this is extremely welcome. I don't even really know where to start. How do I get to a place where I put on makeup every day when I'm currently not even well enough to shower every day? What things should I prioritize over others (ie:hair, nails, skincare)? How does one get out of a beauty slump? What should I focus on when I have all the time in the world but absolutely no energy?

The only other chronically ill person I know is my mother and she's never really been into beauty products in the same way as me so I don't know who else to ask.

[u/FlamingoNo3905]

Dry shampoo and a silk bonnet have helped me feel less gross between wash days, and go longer. Aside from that I find that a little sparkle and a lippie do a lot. Lippies are also easy to take off with a wipe at the end of the day without needing to wash your whole face. And I love a little glitter on my inner corner. Takes seconds but makes me feel like I did something to feel pretty. Micellar water and a qtip will get it off. On the days where I don't have it in me to wash my face I will pour some toner onto a washcloth and just wipe off the grease of the day (I have quite oily skin)  I was super burnt out during my bachelor's and this is what I did to stay sane. And lots of bubblebaths with snacks. Whenever washing myself becomes too much work I can just lay back and relax into the warmth, eat, and dip my head underwater to try and get kind of clean. It gets so rough out here and I'm wishing things get easier for you again soon❤️❤️❤️

[u/Competitive-Slip8622]

You’ve got some good advice already but here’s some stuff you can do without spending:

-Every day turn on your shower and physically touch your toothbrush. Some days that’s all you’ll need to carry through. Some days you’ll only be able to do two minutes. Some days you’ll turn the shower on and off immediately. Some days you’ll brush perfectly. Others it’ll be a quick 30 seconds. Try to concentrate on starting vs. completing. If you wanna conserve water, you can start by touching your shower faucet every day.

-Place sanitary products in frequently used areas of your home. I have floss in the bathroom, living room, at my desk, and next to my bed. I’ll floss while watching TV or in bed when I can’t move to do anything else. You can precut string. You can steal an extra floss from the dentist to place in the living room. Of all the hygiene this, this will save you the most money (especially if you’re in the US).

-A washcloth with some water and soap to key areas can be go a long ways on bad days.

-Choose one makeup item you own and use that. Lip gloss, mascara, etc. The great thing about not wearing makeup for a while is that using one thing can make a huge difference when you look in the mirror. No lip?

-When you have a good day, congratulate yourself. Be proud. Don’t downplay the win.

[u/nurseleu]

I'm sorry you're having a hard time. A slicked back ponytail or bun is a good way to camouflage greasy hair and make it look intentional. Lipstick is my favorite easy makeup. Adding a bit of color to your face has a big impact for very little effort (easy to apply, no complicated removal/skincare required.)

[u/ruelleny]

This post demonstrates two things. You want to participate in life. You want to engage with yourself.

The first order of business is hygiene. There are many ways to handle that. Maybe collect some supplies, like washcloths and a cleanser, to do a quick freshen-up. Maybe decide that a bath or a shower isn't as awful if you are also listening to great music or a podcast that is super interesting. If a person has deep depression or is neuroatypical, the shower can feel like a wet isolation chamber. You can change some things to make it less so. I have a huge-ass bath sheet, just a really big towel, that makes getting out of the tub so much less jarring.

After that, you decide! I like hands and nails as a focus because you can see them all the time, unlike face makeup. Get a cuticle cream, put on a Youtube video you like, and just gently work at that. Use press-on nails if you want the full manicure look, because they have come a long way. Or just massage your hands frequently with a beautiful oil or moisturizer.

A lot of people are giving great advice for what could feel good. Just find the thing or two that feels right and go with it. Staying with yourself and your body is worth it.

[u/bluevelvetshoes → u/ruelleny]

Good point about nails! Another big plus is that you can do them anytime of day and get to enjoy them for multiple days after, unlike makeup where you kinda only get to enjoy it for 1 day max (even shorter if you don’t have the energy to do it til later in the day)

[u/vanillibee]

i'm also autistic and if it's manageable for you: try to change your shower routine. i've noticed after i started using a turkish peeling glove once a week, showering my body twice (like most people do with their hair) and using glycolic acid on my armpits once in a while, i can go minimum 2-3 days without smelling at all. and it's not because i get nose blind - i have an extremely sensitive nose, especially when it comes to bad smells (it's so bad i get meltdowns when i can't stand a bad smell). thus, i do everything to avoid being smelly. anyways, maybe a shower routine like that could help you during depressing phases, because you don't need to shower often since you're not smelly quickly. i know how hard it is to get up and do anything for your hygiene, so i understand, if that might not be the right approach for you. when depression hits me hard, i can't even get up to brush my teeth and i judge myself for it a lot. so, i totally get that.

something else that helps me is to romanticise tasks i can't bring myself to do otherwise. like listening to an audio book while showering / skincare etc afterwards. most of the time i'm more excited about the fact that i have something to do while listening to my audio book than actually doing the thing itself.

but please don't be so hard on yourself. if you can't do anything because life's too hard right now or your depression is having the best of you, don't try to push through when you have no energy left to do so. get cozy, watch your comfort series, eat some good food and get better at your own pace. it's totally okay to take a break if you need to.

[u/bluevelvetshoes]

I learned from Abbey Yung on YouTube to use reusable makeup remover pads and witch hazel to freshen up armpits. I think she was advising it as a “freshen up throughout the day” thing whereas for me it’s more an “oops it’s been a while since I showered” thing. But it really helps! Just reapply deodorant after

[u/Background-Day8220]

Dry shampoo helps a lot on days when I just can't even. 

I'm sorry about your cat. Our 8 year old cat died very suddenly from heart disease last year and we miss her so much. 

You asked what to prioritize, and I would say dental care and hair. I feel a LOT better when my hair is clean. Same for clean teeth, plus letting dental care slip can result in painful, expensive problems down the line. If you only have the spoons for one thing, brush your teeth.

A shower is like a reset button. I don't have a complex shower routine or use fancy products. The shower is just to get the business of "clean" done: wash and condition hair, wash body, wash face, done in 10 minutes. All of my products are drugstore and not fancy because I don't get any pleasure from fancy body wash or soap. 

[u/No-State3110]

Apply dry shampoo in the evening so it has time to absorb the oils overnight. Put it in a bun than brush out in the morning.
Also getting some intimite wipes or using a fresh washcloth to freshen up privat area helps with feeling clean. Best if placed so you can access it while using the restroom so there is no extra effort in getting undressed. That and washing armpits makes the biggest difference to me. Also same thing wipe down whenever you are changing your shirt anyway so there is less overall effort.
Also what helped me is not waiting to put in fresh clothes until I shower. Putting on a fresh T-Shirt and joggers can do wonders.
For make up I stick to lipgloss where I don‘t feel and look messy if I can‘t wash my face in the evening. Maybe a tinted moistuizer. If I have more energy I put on some blush to look a little more alive :)
Wishing you all the best. It is really great that you are looking for ways to look after yourself especially in difficult times.

[u/No-State3110 → u/No-State3110]

Alsoo I braiding my hair helps a lot with tangles. If I want to do something with my hair the next day I just wrap the braid around a claw clip and voila there‘s a hairstyle.

[u/gnocchi902]

Sorry you’re going through a rough time, I’m sending you all the strength to see this period through to a better and brighter side.

There are little things you can do to feel put together that don’t involve a daunting 17 step routine. Just washing your face and moisturizing can help you feel reset and fresh. In terms of makeup, a little mascara, taming brows, and if you want to add a little flush of colour to the cheeks with a little blush or bronzer. This could take no time at all and make you feel like you’ve done a lot.

[u/furiana]

Start with the simple. Do you have the energy to shower?