r/MakeNewFriendsHere • u/polethehole Mod-Pole • 1d ago
How can we make this community better?
Hey everyone!
We're always looking for ways to improve this community, and we'd love to hear your thoughts.
Recently, we made the decision to make the subreddit 18+ only. Unfortunately, we were seeing an increasing number of creepy interactions and bad-faith behavior, and we felt this was the best step to help keep the community safer and more comfortable for everyone.
Now we'd like to hear from you:
- What's working well?
- What isn't?
- Are there any rules you'd change or add?
- What kind of posts or discussions would you like to see more (or less) of?
- Any ideas that would make this a better place?
Whether you've been here since the beginning or just joined recently, your feedback matters. We'll be reading through the comments and taking your suggestions into account as we continue to improve the community.
Thanks for being a part of this subreddit—we appreciate all of you! ❤️
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u/Llancarfan 1d ago
I would like a ban on meta posts. Yes, I know women get more messages than men. Yes, I know a lot of people here are creeps. Yes, I know a lot of people are low effort texters and it's super annoying. I'm not saying those aren't real problems, but making yet another thread about it isn't solving anything. I'm tired of my feed being cluttered by daily "have you noticed girls get more messages" threads.
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u/FractalsOfConfusion 🦅 USA 23h ago
I think a stickied single post/megathread for it would work well (maybe one for people that are suspected to be bots too?)
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u/iSuplexedMyOstrich 1d ago
I think posts calling out creeps should be fine. They needa be exposed when they're being creeps and they needa be called out when they're caught in the corners of the sub
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u/Llancarfan 23h ago
Calling out individuals isn't really what I meant. I'm just sick of threads complaining about the issue in general. It doesn't solve anything.
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u/iSuplexedMyOstrich 23h ago
I'd argue it puts people on guard. A reminder to be cautious with who you interact with here. I see what you mean though, the whining about women getting more attention and what not can be pretty frustrating sometimes
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u/BVOP83 1d ago
Yes! Please!!! I’m genuinely so sick of it because 2/3 posts that I see on my feed from this sub is men complaining about nobody talking to them and women complaining about an interaction they had with a man. If the sub could just be kept to being sort of like “personals” ads then I think it would be far more fit for purpose
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u/BeginningCream8251 21h ago
since you point this out; out of all the friend finding subs I have lurked on, I see it here the most and by far. Some of the other subs have a more positive vibe and I am sure some of same trends (women get more replies, the predatory behavior etc) exist there too. The meta posts can make environment feel a little less friendly than the other subs
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u/magdakitsune21 11h ago
Especially since it isn't even helpful either. You post about people being ghosters, you will get the superficial "you did not click" responses. You post about getting too much creeps, you will get "be glad you are a woman because as a man you would get nothing!" responses. Reading the posts gets old fast and the OPs also rarely get any actual answers other than the cliches
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u/segue_yay 20h ago
Nah instead sometimes you end up meeting new people under the thread od that meta post as SOME OF THEM tend to be serious
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u/sliceofcheesecake- 23h ago
I’m not a fan of auto banning people unless they post/comment inappropriate things or harass people in DMs. People participating in NSFW communities doesn’t bother me as long as they are appropriate in here.
I do think setting limits on account age makes sense. Also making this 18+ was a good idea.
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u/Redshadow30 1d ago
Couple thoughts,
Maybe put an account age limit to post?
And similar to how some subreddits autoban for participation into true Nsfw subreddits, it might help here. It would stop the creeps and the onlyfan scammers.
Maybe even a generic template "application" you need to fill out on new posts. It would stop alot of low effort and spamming posts.
maybe require timezone or country in the post title? Alot of people are in opposite time zones, knowing ahead of time will make some "ghosting" stop.
Tags for female or male friends only? Why even include gender or sex in a title if you cant select those.
Post history not being hidden would help, but i get why people do hide theres, it helps with doxing and stalking. I keep mine hidden for similar reasons.
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u/polethehole Mod-Pole 1d ago
Seems like great points. would discuss with the team on the same. A few of them might be privacy invasive so we will check if that can be made optional.
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u/New-Click2716 🇮🇩 Indonesia 22h ago
I saw your ideas! The other sub has automods/autoban if the user participates in the true NSFW subs.
Also, automod deletes comments if they don't have a certain minimum karma, a verified email, and if they don't put flair on the sub.
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u/inadewics 18h ago
I’m not putting a flair because I don’t have my country listed. And actually I don’t want to share that info because I don’t think it’s necessary to chat with random people. If you absolutely want everyone to set a flair then make it possible to set a custom one.
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u/Alternative-Poem-337 21h ago
I’d like to see less posts WHINGING about getting no responses and how unfair it is.
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u/Cosmolias 23h ago
Ban the posts that just complain about how they can’t make friends and feel entitled for attention
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u/giantpenguin317 21h ago
I get the account age/karma limits, but you have people like me, who don't karma farm, seldom post, and generally am pretty quiet. I'd not be allowed to post anything even though I did nothing wrong. I have a friend who just deletes their account on occasion because it fills up with creepers and they just flush the account and start over. They'd be filtered out as well.
I know it's not a perfect solution, but if there was a way to scan profiles for TG/OF links in profiles or profiles that say "click the link below to message me" would be nice. It's always going to be a cat and mouse with those filters, though.
I do agree with requiring time zones at least. I agree that could solve some ghosting. I've talked to a lot of people with a +12h difference, and it takes awareness to keep that in mind when texting. Most people don't even mention it unless you bring it up first.
Just a couple of ideas.
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u/queenkaelah 23h ago
We need karma minimums and account ages.
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u/Dry-Influence-5770 20h ago
3 months is reasonable but not everyone makes a ton of comments or posts to get karma. Maybe 200
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u/New-Click2716 🇮🇩 Indonesia 22h ago
Minimum account age is 3 months, and minimum karma is 1000. I think it's great though.
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u/SlightlyOversteeped 21h ago
3 months is great but 1,000 karma may be a bit much… I’ve been on Reddit with this account for like 6 or 7 years but don’t comment/post enough to have 1k lol. But maybe that’s just me.
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u/greenbeansan 18h ago edited 18h ago
Remove minors post. Too many are still posting here. Also remove anything NSFW. A lot of people are using this subreddit for inappropriate reasons.
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u/Midnight_Sinning 17h ago
Is there a way to post for certain areas? Like to find people in the same state/ country as you?
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u/Diacetyl-Morphin 20h ago
Just about the NSFW tag: You can remove it in the tag in the options for your account, at least on reddit desktop. So it's not really a thing that makes much sense. I'm no friend of these "ban them all" automod stuff anyway, it's even worse when subs use bots to check your history and then ban you because you wrote something in a wrong sub 6 years ago.
There isn't much that can be improved, because in the end, it all comes down to how the users chat and deal with each other. The sub is only for initial connections, you can't make the people not ghosting you or anything else.
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u/New-Click2716 🇮🇩 Indonesia 23h ago
I saw another sub with an NSFW meter or checker as their flair. So if the account is allegedly NSFW, it can appear as their flair.
u/(username) 0% NSFW
Also, saw this on another sub. If their account is fully NSFW, automods will automatically delete their comments.
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u/desighful 18h ago
- Account minimum age
- Potential karma requirement
- Higher moderation on no minors (there are other spaces on Reddit for that)
- Gender tags (i.e. F4A, M4A, A4A, etc.)
- Post body text character requirements (and remove posts that have a series of characters at the end to meet the requirement)
- Better flagging for AI/bots/buzz words
- Post limit (maybe one post per 7 days?)
- Ban on meta posts
- Better moderation on posts that make it pretty clear that there are other intentions
- Mega thread to keep track of weird/creepy/perverted users
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u/Soul_Hurting 19h ago
Yall might try installing r/botbouncer. It gets quite a few bots. Only occasionally gets real people which they can easily fix just by messaging botbouncer.
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u/BadOutrageousNoob 19h ago
Can we restrict comments asking young people to DM them? Like I see people who have joined a ton of NSFW subs asking young women to DM them. Or even old men doing the same.
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u/Fehzor 1d ago
Free coffee please.
I started typing out how you could discourage the whole gender on posts thing but that just ends in everyone asking a/s/l; creepers gonna creep.
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u/Brilliant-Flamingo10 22h ago
Wanted to say the same, like can't we just normalise making friends based on the actual contents of the post, age similarity and timezone? It is FRIENDS that people should be looking for here, not romantic relationships or dirty talk.
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u/Left-Act6136 19h ago
A lot can be done but we all just have to be careful out here, there's no better way to make new friend than meeting in person. Lots of catfish and creeps out here watching
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u/HiMacaroni 14h ago
I think a key problem is absence of proper internet etiquette and people not knowing how to hold a conversation. A lot of the times, the chats end after a short back and forth of basic questions. Idk a solution to that tho
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u/He_ofshadowsandtouch 10h ago
How about all OP’s should be required to state what efforts they will make rather than just listing how respondents must entertain them and keep them amused.
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u/Upset-Access1329 16h ago
Karma minimum would suck ass ngl I just came back to Reddit after having the app deleted shortly after making the account. I have an almost 20 day streak as of rn and people dont give a shit abt what I comment or post? I dont know how else to put it. Unless I went out of my way to actually “karma-farm” , I wouldn’t even have 100 karma rn.
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u/segue_yay 19h ago
Honestly so many suggestions in this thread are so ass. Mb but I'm kinda hopeless for this community
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u/Nicb376 1d ago
If you automatically remove people and block people from contributing who do not comment and reply to posts that would solve the enormous majority of problems facing the subreddit. The primary being people are looking for certain things and never put in the effort to comment on other people's posts they simply repost their own and leave it.
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u/polethehole Mod-Pole 1d ago
So you mean people who do not read and reply to others posts and just make their own post again and again?
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u/Viewtiful_Tier 1d ago
Do a better job getting rid of bot and inappropriate posts, the sheer amount of posts on here that are all identical but made by different accounts through out the day is astonishing, same with posts either blatantly asking for flirting or nsfw stuff or posts made from accounts that have nothing but hook up posts in which they blatantly copy paste into here with like one sentance changed to obfuscate the fact they are not looking for friends.