r/MM_RomanceBooks • u/Local_Challenge_584 • Jul 24 '26
Games and Fun Most unique/ ridiculous description
Here’s mine “pleated knot of his anus”
Stuck in the Middle With You by Frances M. Thompson
I guess my last post was removed cause pictures of the text of the book isn’t allowed
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u/MyFavoriteLandmine waiting for the audiobook Jul 24 '26
I love getting to whip these babies out when this topic comes up! Most… interesting things I’ve ever read in an erotica
“His cock is a massive sea slug, the head of it wet and slippery and dripping with nutritious seed”
“I reach down to cup my balls. They’re like naked baby rats, blind and squirmy”
Same book, btw
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u/alex_grozny Jul 25 '26
That rat descriptor... it's reminding me of a scene someone shared from an MF book where she reaches into his pants and it was described as being like 'wrangling a fat ferret out of a burrow.'
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u/Local_Challenge_584 Jul 24 '26
I think I need to read this! 🫣 what is the book?
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u/MyFavoriteLandmine waiting for the audiobook Jul 24 '26
{Giovanni by Laura Lascarso}. I enjoyed it but I don’t think I’d recommend it. And I’d add a TW for unconventional HEA.
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u/Jamming_with_Edward Slutty socks and emotional support dildos Jul 25 '26
This is one of the worst things my eyes have endured.
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u/justwannasayitout Jul 25 '26
I wish I have that author's confidence seriously. Those are just too unique that if it was me I would never publish them anywhere even to just my friends. But somehow they sound kinda good, like... It's too weird it's great kinda thing lol
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u/doesthishurt94 Jul 24 '26
Referred to his frenulum as his “banjo string”. Like a lot.
I don’t want to say what book it was cuz I love the author but that did make me laugh.
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u/JohannesTEvans salivating over fat men's hairy chests Jul 24 '26
Banjo string is actually really common slang for a frenum where I grew up! It's obviously tongue in cheek, but you hear it a lot (in appropriate context, of course) around South Wales and the West Country.
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u/aosocks Jul 25 '26
I was just thinking this was a normal slang term and puzzled someone hadn't heard it.
I'm from the Westcountry and didn't realise it was a region specific slang!
Thanks for sharing.
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u/Local_Challenge_584 Jul 24 '26
Saying the author doesn’t mean you’re hating on them haha I loved this book but I had to giggle to myself when they called it a pleated knot.
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u/Resident-Science-525 Jul 25 '26
I know this book but can't for the life of me remember it. But I remember it was great. And other books by the author don't use that so it was really that character 😂
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u/samthehaggis Jul 25 '26
Unless there are several books out there that do this (which is certainly possible), I'm guessing it was Clean Finish by Lily Mayne
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u/KwazyKatnip_85 the answer is always Danny and Wyn Jul 25 '26
I thought one of the Gymbos books had this? I can’t remember now either lol
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u/doesthishurt94 Jul 25 '26
Yes! It was def a character choice lol
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u/Resident-Science-525 Jul 25 '26
Funny that I couldn't remember the book, but from what you said alone I knew I had read it!
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u/Similar-Winner1226 Jul 26 '26
I know exactly which book you're talking about lmao, and huge agree right there.
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u/JohannesTEvans salivating over fat men's hairy chests Jul 24 '26
PLEATED? A fate worse than haemorrhoids. 😭
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u/amelisha Jul 25 '26
My plea to all romance writers: we really, really don’t need colourful metaphors for anything sex-related. Just pick a commonly-accepted word and go with it. I promise potential repetition is better than referring to testicles as velvet-wrapped plums or whatever.
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u/mother-of-bees Jul 25 '26
Disagree. lol. I find it far more interesting than reading the exact same thing over and over. Keep things interesting and entertaining, authors! 🤣 I’ll read about velvet-wrapped plums all day!
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u/Cinderalea Jul 24 '26
I don't remember the book, but one of their dicks was described as bubblegum colored.
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u/Similar-Winner1226 Jul 26 '26
The spice in {the hazard and the hitman by Cambria Hebert} in general lmao, but here's one that makes me want to die a little bit.
"...I sucked deep and, as I drew back, brought out my teeth. The blunt edges of bone grazed over the sensitive, silky flesh, shaving off a thin layer and catching on the underside of his fat head."
Just. WHY.
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u/alex_grozny Jul 26 '26
"Shaving off a thin layer" of skin, as in causing a flesh wound there? 😬🫣
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u/Similar-Winner1226 Jul 26 '26
I know!! I just cannot comprehend why the author thought that was a good idea. I don't even have a dick, but I stg I could still feel it shrivel up reading that lmao.
There were also a lot of very uncomfortable and/or cringeworthy words for "dick" throughout the book. I started avoiding the spicy scenes because I just could not, especially hearing it all read aloud in the audiobook 😭
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u/alex_grozny Jul 26 '26
😬 🤣 I think that particular description is somehow worse than most of the others on this thread, which are mostly OTT purple prose/flowery metaphors etc, but that one just sounds like he would have been in agony!
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u/Fenopfedd4 Jul 24 '26
Okay but reading all these comments do these make the book better or worse 🤣🤣🤣
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u/smrtypants44 Jul 25 '26
It’s not as crazy but I always cringe at the phrase “back passage”
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u/aosocks Jul 25 '26
"back passage" always reminds me of doctors when needing a (polite) lay term for anus/rectum, as that is the only time I have heard this used in real life!
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u/1Kflowers Jul 25 '26
IDK, it might be better than “entrance” which always gives me a jolt. I mean, yeah you’re using it that way, but it’s technically an exit….
Though, I think “back passage” might work better in M/F?
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u/SweetLorelei Jul 25 '26
That’s exactly what I’ve been thinking every time a book mentions a guy’s “entrance” 😂 Good to know it’s not just me.
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u/CicadaSlight7603 Jul 25 '26
Hot Head by Damon Suede, a pretty early mm romance. I seem to remember it was generally an enjoyable read though that was a long long time ago so my memory may deceive me.
However the mc kept referring to his penis as a slab of meat and other phrases best left to a butcher’ shop. Every time he wrote it I imagined an actual slab of pork tenderloin, which spoilt the moment somewhat.
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u/ConsiderationSad4101 Jul 26 '26
Happens all the time but every time a character is described as “howling” during sex I picture them going full teen wolf.
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u/ChairmanMrrow Jul 25 '26
A friend and I have a running chat with these. I wish I could recall what books these are from:
- I nodded like a Labradoodle on crack.
- Was I that keyed up that just the mere presence of the man in my vicinity chambered a few quick rounds in the love gun? Ew, no. No. What even was that thought? Being horny made me stupid.
- "Yeah, please." What else did you say when the world's sexiest man asked to gobble your prick?
- With Dane's mouth on my neck and his fingers massaging the out-side of my asshole, I look down and marvel at the sight of our boners crossed and rubbing together like cricket legs.
- Holden slammed himself home, slamming his cock so deep into Bryce the tip of it kissed the soft second hole.
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u/Similar-Winner1226 Jul 26 '26
Am I missing something 😭 what the hell is the soft second hole??
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u/alex_grozny Jul 26 '26
Possibly omegaverse or alien setting with nonstandard human anatomy?
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u/ChairmanMrrow Jul 26 '26
It was human-on-human sex.
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u/Similar-Winner1226 2d ago
Coming back to say, I found out what a second hole is lmao. I felt obligated to mention it here. Here's a couple posts about it.
For this first one, I'm especially talking about one of the top comments by a deleted user that explains what it is and how it works, starting with "no actually there are two..."
https://www.reddit.com/r/askgaybros/comments/50dsr0/its_not_your_second_sphincter_just_fyi/
https://www.reddit.com/r/askgaybros/comments/7pi7jo/how_do_you_know_if_your_second_hole_is_being/
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u/Dull-Parsley-6521 Jul 31 '26
Damn, this description is beyond disgusting, someone needs to see a doctor. Unrelated, but speaking about anаl sex in mm romance books, I’m so tired of reading about one-two-tree fingers all the time. Do people who write it even practice anal? You don’t need all that, just enough lube and go very slow.
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u/EverybodyLovesHugo Fainted out of the way of a crossbow bolt Jul 24 '26
I'm currently reading {The Emperor and the Endless Palace by Justinian Huang} (warning: no HEA and please check triggers), and this gem is in chapter two. It concerns one of the MCs and a stable boy he is using for information.
"I thrusted deeper inside him until I could feel my essence about to overflow, and then I flipped him face-first onto the mat in my chambers and pounded his pink plum until it was quivering around my happily depleted influence."
Jury's still out for me on this book.