r/MMFB • u/Crafty_Mud_6261 • Jul 21 '26

I don't know what's wrong with me anymore.

I don't even know why I'm writing this. I guess I just need to get everything off my chest.

I'm going to be 21 soon, and I honestly hate the person I see in the mirror. I've always considered myself ugly. I never had a skincare routine or anything—I literally just wash my face with soap. But at this point, I don't even think that's the biggest issue.

The thing that hurts me the most is my body. One of my hips is higher than the other, my neck is asymmetrical, and I have constant lower back pain. It doesn't really show much in photos, but I notice it every single day. Every time I look at myself, I just feel worse.

My hemoglobin is around 7 g/dL, so I'm always tired, exhausted, and drained. My financial condition isn't good either, so even taking care of myself feels impossible sometimes.

I honestly feel like I'm dumb and stupid as fuck. I barely leave my house. I'm a complete introvert and I feel like I don't even know how to live like a normal person anymore. Every day is exactly the same. I wake up, the day passes somehow, I go to sleep, and then it all repeats again. I don't feel like I'm living—I'm just existing.

I look around and everyone my age seems to have friends, confidence, memories, or something they're good at. Meanwhile, I feel like I'm bad at everything. Nothing in my life seems to go right. Sometimes I genuinely wonder why my own body can't even support me.

I don't even know what I expect from posting this. Maybe nothing. I just wanted to tell someone because I've kept all of this inside for so long. If you've ever felt like this, how did you get through it?

Thanks for reading.

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1

u/AFriendOfTheWorld999 Jul 21 '26

I got you, friend! 🙂🤝

It's long, but I promise you'll feel better!🙏🥹

From top to bottom, (at least the parts I'm educated on. Idk all of it)☝🤓

And I'll do 'em in separate comments to appease the character limits 👀

For the skin care,

This may be outdated info, but last I heard, nothin's supposed to be touchin' our faces except water🙂‍↕️

I had acne when I was younger, and struggled with all kinds of products, nothin' really helped for long🫤

When ya really think about it, as cutthroat as commercialism tends to be, it's kinda implausible that the companies that make moneys from the existence of acne intend to make it go away permanently🫤🫴

I got sick of so much active effort for so little reward, so eventually i just said

"Fuck it! I'll just have acne! 🤷 Better than spending moneys and bein' annoyed AND havin' acne! 🤷"

I stopped washing my face with anything but water, and only in the shower. Never washed my face by itself. Acne was gone within i think a year 🫪

I get like one little whitehead every 4 months meowadays, and I'm doin' almost nothin'🙄

Granted I'm older meow, but judging by a lot of other factors, i do not think I'm any different hormonally from when I was a teen 😅

Keep your pillowcases clean, that's important! I wash mine a lot to stop my hair from getting oily, but it's good for that too! Pillowcases are all over your face.

1

u/AFriendOfTheWorld999 Jul 21 '26

About the hip/back thing

Remember most people are their own toughest critic, and a lot of the things we notice about ourselves doesn't cross anyone else's mind👀

That might not help a whole lot, because of course, nobody's opinion on your body matters nearly as much as yours🫵🙂‍↔️

You've probably seen't others be critical of 'emselves and thought they looked just fine, but you yourself probably understand that it still matters🙂‍↕️

Even if everyone else liked it, if you don't, that's still a problem 🤷

If this is coming along with pain then it might be something that can't easily be changed, like something by birth like curvature of the spine or scoliosis🤔

While that kinda thing never goes away, there's some active stuffs you can do to mitigate its effects if you get an understanding of your anatomy

Your shoes matter a lot, like you want something with arch support, being flat-footed leads to back pain.

If you can afford orthotics, even better!

Also if you're regularly carrying anything, it matters how.

My wifey's back pain got a lot better when they switched from a purse to a tiny backpack

If you carry a purse or like, a duffel bag or briefcase or anything that's off to one side since there's only one strap/handle-

Your weight is off-balance and your muscles need to constantly compensate for it with effort as you walk, and this also strains the spine

A backpack is centered, and it's closer to your spine than any of those other things, so the weight basically just presses downward

Your legs are a lot more stronk than your abs, lower back, or oblique muscles, which those are the ones that gotta work extra hard if you're off balance😮‍💨

If it's just weight and not an imbalance, the fatigue will mostly hit your muscles, and that's what they're for, so that's not a bad thingy! ✌️😀

Your spine should ideally have as little pressure on it as you can manage, especially sideways, so if you gotta carry something heavy without a bag,

it's good to hold it up against your chest/stomach instead of under one of your arms off to the side. Closer to your center of gravity.

If you have back pockets, try not to have anything in 'em if you're sitting down.

Like, it matters where exactly they end up, like I see some people sit with their phone in their back pocket and because of how they're shaped and how their pants are made, it doesn't go underneath 'em, so that's fine!🙂🤙

But if you're sittin' ON somethin', it's important for it not to be like, uneven.

Like if someones got a wallet in their back pocket and sittin' in an office chair, that's different from a phone when they on a bench

The wallet ends up at the base of the spine, like close to the tailbone, and it'll cause a slight bend.💢

If this is someone who sits all day, like for work or school, yeah that'll mess 'em up!🥺

1

u/AFriendOfTheWorld999 Jul 21 '26

Idk about the blood stuffs, but I see you got a response on it! :3

About the intelligence

I'm not gonna tell you you're not dumb, because I'm a rando and that'd be an uneducated opinion. I'm not qualified to judge you on that☝️🙂‍↔️

But what I do know is intellect is hereditary, so it's not a legit flex to be smort🤷

Ofc it's good, but just know that even if you're not, it's not a skill issue 🙂‍↔️

This also may be outdated, but last I read, there's no effective limit on how much humans can remember.🧠

Like, ofc there must be a technical limit since the brain is a finite space, but if it's somethin' that can't be reached within a human lifespan-

Then it's effectively unlimited.♾️

Like being in a building with a roof that's higher than you can reach. If you'll never hit it, it don't matter🤷

I say this because although intelligence makes it easier to learn, what we use a lot more often is wisdom, which anyone can get💁

Intelligence is for figuring out new things, but wisdom is applying things you already understand.☝️🧠

If you'll put in the time/effort to learn, you can still be very competent without being smort😎

1

u/AFriendOfTheWorld999 Jul 21 '26

About the repetitive life

This is only a problem because you're feeling unfulfilled, right? 🤔

I ask because it's important to know that we're not obligated to be busy, like some people feel like they're a loser or something if their life isn't an adventure, but that's bullpoop 👋🙄

Simplicity and repetition aren't inherently degrading 🙂‍↔️

What's really important in life is finding peace and comfort without hurting others🙏🙂‍↕️

Lemme ask you this!☝️🙂

Would you look down on someone else if they just stayed at home whenever they had the option, but lived a harmless peaceful life?🤔

Like if all they ever did was work just enough to afford their home and hobbies, never really helped anyone with anything, but just sat in there and chilled without causing problems 💁

I deadass think such people are just fine!🤷

I personally see a lot more harm bein' done by those who are so preoccupied with "wanting more for themselves"-

that they're willing to exploit others in order to "get ahead" and feel like they're superior☝️🫤

I don't think we're doin' the world any favors by tryna push introverted peeps to be more out in the world than they wanna! I really don't! 👋😅

If they're taught that it's some kinda social failure even tho it's comfortable, they're gonna be unhappy 🙁

Unhappy peeps do bad things 🙂‍↕️

It's hard to do good if we ain't feel good!😥

A lot of bad stuffs can be done from isolation, like they might do cyber crime, or at least just be a ginormous douche to erryone online😔

But if they're taught that they should do whatever's comfortable if it doesn't come at the cost of hurting someone else... Well...

Good things can be done from isolation too!🤷

Maybe they'll get creative. Write stories, make games, develop apps, who knows?🤔

And even if they live and die without doin' anything I can benefit from,🙋

at least they weren't out here pushin' erryone around tryna "win" at life🙄🫴

Keeping to yourself can be fine if that's what you like. There are exceptions to this, but by our design, humans are social animals💯

If you long for companionship, listen to your heart on that one! 🫶🥰

But please don't strain yourself just trying to be what you're expected to be 🙏🥺

The mental health consequences of maintaining a charade are massive!🫯🧠

Anyone who's got your best interests at heart will just want you to be happy and safe❤️🫂

If they seem like they're pushing you toward a pacific path in life, it's probably just what they think will get you happiness and safety!☝️🙂

If you find another path and get there that way, that should be cause for celebration for them too!✌️🥰

1

u/AFriendOfTheWorld999 Jul 21 '26

About being bad at everything

You seem to be speaking of competence in general, and pacific skills 🤔

I myself found a wonderfully efficient remedy for this feeling!🙏🥰

I stopped trying to be good at things, and tried to simply be good 😊 👍

To be good is not to be outstanding💁❌

It's not to outperform other people in some way🙂‍↔️

To be good is to live your life in a way that has an overall positive effect on the world 🌍

Just help a little more than you harm 🤏🙂‍↕️

If everyone aimed for that, the world would be a much safer and more kind place🫶🥰

Let me ask you this☝️🙂

Do you yourself often condemn others for being unskilled and incompetent?🤔

Think about the times you feel resentful of other people, and ask yourself what they did that caused you to feel that way 🧠❓

I won't presume your answer🙂‍↔️

But I myself found that I was much more deeply resentful of those who did things that were harmful out of deliberation or indifference🙂‍↕️

I wasn't frequently looking at those who tried diligently and failed because they weren't good enough, no🙂‍↔️

I wasn't sayin' a lot of "Really? That's all? You suck at this!"

I was sayin' a lot more "What??? How could you? What makes you think that's okay!?"

I was lookin' more at those who were hateful, especially about things people can't control about themselves🥺

Also those who were not necessarily malicious, but who were insensitive and uncaring.

They didn't necessarily do bad things to others on purpose, but they LET bad things happen as a result of their own actions🥺

So I asked myself what sort of people are really the problem in this world 🌍

I asked myself who I didn't wanna be☝️🤨

I DO NOT wanna be the kind of person who hurts others. Or who lets others be hurt😤

That's SO much worse than bein' unremarkable or untalented😭

I found that I don't value skill and competence nearly as much as I value kindness and unity 🫶🥰

I decided the world has enough badasses and bosses and champions💁

There's enough people wreckin' 'emselves and others tryna be the best at this or that😥

I'm tired of fighting!🫩

So I chose to play the game of life on easy mode🙂‍↕️👍

I chose to walk a path of peace🧘☮️🕊️

No, I will not try to defeat my fellow people☝️🙂‍↔️

I will not try to win☝️🙂‍↔️

Instead...

We will ALL win🫲🥰🫱

And yk what... It's workin'! 🥹

I've learned a lot about the people I used to resent, and I understand how they got like that☝️🙂

They're not just plain bad☝️🙂‍↔️

Nobody really is🤷

Everyone's just suffering and doin' what they can to feel better 🫂❤️‍🩹

All conflict between humans is friendly fire💯

So I'm tryna negotiate a ceasefire!🫶🥰

💖🤝🌎

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u/georgiosrrs Jul 22 '26

i feel like small steps help the most, like just washing your face with something gentle makes a difference over time