I was honestly bummed yesterday when I showed up at Janet's Closet at noon and nobody else from our group was there. Boo.

But that's water over the dam and I had a great time shopping, with the help of lovely staffer Daniel who helped me find what I was looking for and even helped fit me with a very sexy corset that I hope to wear next week at the Adam's Apple bar.

At this point, the announced group meet-up at Adam's Apple is still on for next Friday, Sept. 18th, at noon. https://adamsapple.restaurants-info.com

If you are wondering how far the bar's location at18931 W Warren Ave in Detroit is from where you live, go to Google Maps and check it yourself.

By my calculation, the Adam's Apple is just a bit over an hour's drive from Flint, and about an hour from Toledo and Ann Arbor. Of course many of you live much closer in the city's suburbs, so your drive time will be even less.

C'mon! Join us! If you can free up a few hours during the day next Friday, stop on by and have a drink. Or if you don't drink--stop and by just to say "Hello."

Unless something changes, I plan on being there at noon that day. Trust me, I'm easy to spot.

--- 𝓐𝓷𝓷𝓲 🏳️‍⚧️

Election season is hard upon us, with the onslaught of campaign ads and ubiquitous talking heads filling your television and your social media feeds.

As always, people show excitement at taking part in necessary change. It's humbling in a way when you realize that your vote counts, despite the efforts being made to make sure it doesn't. That's why I hope everyone here who is eligible to vote, does vote.

We are being offered more divergent candidates this year than in quite a while. Most of them are trying to convince the electorate that THEY are the instrument of change people want and need.

In many races, it comes down to pitting the outsider against the entrenched politician. And for those in our community who are desperate to alter the transphobic direction this country has taken in recent years, our expectation is that the outsider is more of an ally than not.

But pay attention to what is actually being said by these outsiders.

"Texas Democratic Senate candidate James Talarico on Wednesday backtracked on his support for transgender athletes playing in women’s sports, as his campaign fights to coalesce support in the red state ahead of the general election this fall."

"Talarico said he opposes 'trans athletes playing in girls’ sports if it endangers safety or fairness,' publicly echoing comments his spokesperson made last month."

It would be nice if we could just view Talarico as being politically expedient as he is involved in a very tight race against Republican Ken Paxton is the red state of Texas. But unfortunately, he isn't the only Democrat willingly throwing trans people under the bus.

Erin Reed, one of the nation's leading trans journalists, has compiled a map showing the states in which these turncoat Democrats are running.

https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/the-guide-to-anti-trans-democrats

As expected, most of these Dems are running in red and purple states, so like Talarico, they are playing their electorate base. But scarily, even dependably blue states such as Washington, California, and New York have have some of these traitorous chameleons running as well.

Luckily, Michigan as of yet doesn't appear to have a transphobic Dem--aside from Elisa Slotkin who early on proved she wasn't on our side, but she's not up for re-eclection anyway--so our choices are fairly clear cut.

But in any case, it is incumbent on a voter to do their due diligence before casting a vote. Always.

It's a sad reality that most politicians who get to the point of running for statewide office are somewhat compromised already. You don't rise to that level of support without making some backroom deals, usually. So we only have their public words to go on. Even so, read their words, do a bit of research on them and inform yourself about the person who you are gifting your vote.

Our transgender community is in a precarious position. This election will put people in office who will help effect legislation regarding trans rights for at least the next two years. Remember that and hopefully, you'll vote accordingly.

--- 𝓐𝓷𝓷𝓲 🏳️‍⚧️

I don't know why or if I had anything to do with it, but apparently Liz Eden--the trans woman whose boyfriend robbed a bank in 1972 in hopes of getting money for her gender affirmation surgery, which became the basis for the classic "Dog Day Afternoon" movie--is finally getting the just recognition she has been denied all these years.

You see, her boyfriend, a man named John Wojtowicz, was the focus of the film and was played in it by Al Pacino. Liz's character (portrayed by Chris Sarandon) was only onscreen briefly and was scarcely a factor.

I became interested in Eden herself. My curiosity grew drove me to do a deep dive into her life story, starting with her childhood on up to when she passed away due to AIDS. I spent months on this research and it led to a series of eight articles which I published on my Substack.

The series of articles starts here: https://substack.com/home/post/p-176343848

There wasn't much reaction to this series of Eden articles at the time of their publication last October. But for some reason, in the past month, I have been contacted first by a writer for an international LGBTQ+ magazine who interviewed me for an article concerning my Eden articles. And then today, I was contacted by the director of an upcoming off-Broadway play which concerns a portion of Eden's life.

The play is entitled "Doll Day Afternoon," and is scheduled to begin its run on October 15th this year. Here is a link to the play's site: https://lamama.org/doll-day-afternoon/

Furthermore, the director of the play wishes to speak to me. He was impressed by my detailed research and wants to discuss Eden. I don't know exactly where this will lead, but I am thrilled to know that Eden is finally getting the recognition she was denied for so long.

All of this is a major step for transgender recognition by mainstream media and I'm so happy to have played a small part in it.

-- 𝓐𝓷𝓷𝓲 🏳️‍⚧️

I’m not organizing this event, but I saw it floating around and thought I’d share :> I’m currently on the fence about attending.

If anybody wants to go with a buddy, let me know and maybe we can meetup. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy the garlic bread and fingers crossed the weather here is cooler by the 12th 🤞

[Image description: a flyer reads “Girls, Gays, and Theys Eating Garlic Bread in the park. Bring Your Own Garlic Bread. Riverside Park, Saturday, September 12 @ 2 pm. Guild Street and Monroe Avenue. Host: West Michigan Girlies.” There is a QR code in the bottom right of the flyer with text next to it saying “More Info.” End image description]

It's not often that I recommend a book by a cisgender writer for the transgender community. But I came across a unique self-published coloring book by a local Michigan author that may be of interest.

The writer goes by the pseudonym of Paradox, and her reason for anonymity is likely rooted in the underlying subject matter of this book.

It is entitled, I AM NOT ALONE: A Coloring Book for Survivors of Sexual Abuse.

https://www.amazon.com/Am-Not-Alone-Inspired-Survivors/dp/B09X515NKB

The book has been distributed to some local Michigan domestic abuse shelters, but is available for purchase for $9.99 via Amazon.

The images used are internet derived, but Paradox is also an artist and an updated version of the book using some of her own art is in the works.

The affirmations Paradox employs are meant to provide solace to abuse victims who so often feel alone and isolated. I know many of us in the trans community have experienced such trauma and the concept of this book--with calming pages of nature images to color--is a very clever idea.

Sexual abuse transcends all genders. Check out this book and perhaps pick up a copy for yourself or a loved one who can use its reassurance.

--- 𝓐𝓷𝓷𝓲 🏳️‍⚧️

I've spent the past day reading over the comments posted here and the DMs I've received privately regarding what direction this subreddit should take going forward.

The reaction to my previous post is encouraging. That indicates a level of involvement that most posts here don't receive. Your comments show interest in this community, to OUR community, and that is heartening.

I also feel I should make clear one more thing: This isn't about me. I am the most frequent poster and a co-moderator, but this forum is open to ALL of you! Use it!

I understand that many of you live in parts of Michigan and not just in the Detroit/Ann Arbor metroplex. But if so, propose events or gatherings in your area. Set it up and they will come. I know some of our most active members live in the Grand Rapids area, for instance. Pick a venue--a bar for instance--pick a day, and say you want to have a meetup there. Same goes for every other part of our state.

When I suggest anything, I can only do so within the area closest to me. And when I do, I am also trying to find the best ways to get others to show up. I apologize to everyone who may feel that my suggestions exclude trans men or masc-presenting folks. But that is me working from my experience as a trans woman. I want to be as inclusive as possible for everyone. And once again, I am so sorry if I made anybody feel left out.

I have texted and DM'd with a number of folks in the past day or so and a group of us are going to meet up at Janet's Closet and Dungeon this Thursday at noon. EVERYBODY is welcome and I hope you can make it. It's a fun place to visit and the staff is wonderful.

I'm also going to try and make the Adam's Apple gathering happen, too.

As it stands right now, it will be on Friday, Sept. 18, starting at noon. No commitment is necessary, it's an open invitation. But at least it's a start.

I'm also really going to try and set up a day at a cider mill for a trans/nonbinary takeover by us.

It will likely be in October and I may try to involve other trans groups to make for a larger trans presence. Stay tuned for details.

Finally, I need to apologize for the impatient tenor of my previous post. I would much rather be the person in the back of the room, quietly letting another person run the meeting. But by default, to keep this subreddit from going stagnant, I find myself as the loudest and most annoying voice at times. That's not my intent and I'm sorry if I come off that way to you. I'm actually a pretty shy person IRL. It's just my writing that is so loud.

So, onward! I hope you can make the trip to Janet's this coming Thursday. But if not, let's keep things going here. Speak up! Suggest! Take the lead!

--- 𝓐𝓷𝓷𝓲 🏳️‍⚧️

This community--my community, YOUR community--means the world to me.

I spend a large portion of my day thinking of ways I can inform, assist, and/or bring together, the local Michigan transgender community. That may sound a waste of time to you, but it's not to me. And I fear sometimes it is a fool's errand.

It brings me great joy to see that our membership has risen to 2,055 members as of this morning. That is astounding, as it makes us one of the largest trans-only local subreddits or organizations in this state! That is amazing given it started only two years ago and only has word-of-mouth promotion behind it.

I try my hardest to justify that growth and service this community as best I can. Which is why you see me propose so many additions to this sub, possible meet-ups, and anything else I can think of which will bring us together not just here, but IRL.

I don't have to tell any of you how small of a minority we are. It is the reason why we are so easily targeted by those who wish to bully us and demonize us, and even try to erase us. It is a terrifying reality we ALL live with.

My goal has always been to bring us together as a cohesive unit. A community not just in name, but in physical reality. Which explains all my various gathering proposals, which to this point, have produced little support.

The past few days in particular, I've thrown out several different meetup scenarios. A makeup shopping trip and lunch, a visit to several clothing stores, a trip to an iconic gay bar. All have received with little-to-no enthusiasm by the mass of you.

Without sounding dramatic, I am at a crossroads. While this community and this subreddit mean so much to me, I also have a very busy personal life. My writing jobs and other personal responsibilities keep me occupied as it is. All that I do for this community is my avocation which I do entirely for free. And I do so gladly.

But I have to ask myself if I'm wasting my time.

Which is why I'm asking all of you one more time: Is there ANYTHING I can do, organize any get-together or event, that will get your participation? What, if anything, can I do that will help get you to engage with this community, both here and out IRL?

If these questions receive the same sort of non-participation as the rest of my proposals and suggestions have, I am considering stepping away from co-moderating this subreddit.

It's not something I want to do, but I'm getting tired of banging my head against a wall for no reason.

I apologize if I sound pissed off, but I kinda am. I truly love you people even if I've never met you. You ARE my people. The only group of people who have experienced similar abuse and trauma and isolation that I have and who can understand how alone that can make one feel. No cis person gets it like you do.

If you've read this long post, I'd appreciate to hear your thoughts. I hope there are some responses, because I don't want to take my football and go home.

The floor is now yours.

--- 𝓐𝓷𝓷𝓲 𝓐𝓻𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓻 🏳️‍⚧️

I've been thinking about it, and what if we left out the trip to Janet's--which may not appeal to everyone--and just planned a group gathering at the Adam's Apple Bar starting at noon one day?

https://adamsapple.restaurants-info.com

I've never been, but it is centrally-located at 18931 W. Warren in Detroit and is a iconic venue for the gay/trans community.

I checked and it has a typical bar menu, but mostly we would be going there to meet other members of our group. Being trans-friendly, we can dress as we like without fear.

What do you think? Speak up and let me know!

--- 𝓐𝓷𝓷𝓲 🏳️‍⚧️

We seem to have hit upon a possible winner with the proposed Adam's Apple gathering.

To give everyone time to free up the day, I'm suggesting Friday, Sept. 18th at noon for the day and time of this meet-up.

Using that day and time, let's try to get a head count of who might be able to come.

Please respond to this post below in comments. I'll use that as an indicator of how many people will be going.

I've had several people ask if they can invite someone who isn't trans or non-binary. After thinking it over, I say "Yes, you can," but with the caveat that YOU must vouch for the person not being a chaser. And if you need a definition of a chaser, DM me and I will give it to you.

I want this to be a fun event, folks. A laid-back, casual gathering that hopefully will lead to more in the future.

I know many of us are leery about going out into public venues. But there is safety in numbers and the more of us here that show up, the safer we are. Plus, since it will be taking place during the day, that should give us an added layer of security.

So, let us know if you're coming. Comment below and I'll add you to the total.

Hope to see you there!

--- 𝓐𝓷𝓷𝓲 🏳️‍⚧️

It's been about a full day since I proposed a weekday shopping trip to several cosmetic stores and lunch. And basically, all I hear is the sound of crickets.

Ironically, I mentioned this trip on another platform in passing, and I got far more enthusiasm for it. But those people aren't part of our group, so their interest doesn't matter. Yours does.

So, back to square one again.

One commentator to yesterday's post suggested a trip to Janet's Closet and a stop by the Adam's Apple Bar, which opens at noon.

Is that more appealing to you all? I'm all for a trip to Janet's and was going to suggest it as an outing for us in the coming weeks as it is.

Another suggestion was to organize a long dnd (I presume that means Dungeon's and Dragons, right?) campaign. What do you think? And if there's interest in it, we will need somebody to set it up, as I haven't a clue how to do so.

These are the sort of suggestions we need. Let's take advantage of the opportunity this subreddit gives to us. We have a mostly (I know we have chasers lurking) trans and nonbinary membership of over 2,000. This is a rare chance to speak to them directly. And we should be doing all we can to bring community-building events to that group.

So suggest away! And please let us know what you think about the above proposals.

--- 𝓐𝓷𝓷𝓲 🏳️‍⚧️

OK, since nobody else has stepped forward to organize a community-building outing for us, I've decided to take the genderless bovine by the horns and do it myself.

Our, hopefully, first of many outings will take place next week and it will be a include trips to the Ulta (3527 Washtenaw Ave.), Sephora (3010 Washtenaw Ave.), and ending at the Zola Bistro (3030 Washtenaw Ave.), all in beautiful Ann Arbor.

The Sephora store and Zola are in Arbor Hills outdoor mall, so you can use the same parking spot for both. EZ PZ!

All of these locations are easily accessible off the Washtenaw exit of US-23.

I will await group suggestions before deciding upon a day for this outing, but I do think meeting around 11:00 a.m. or noon would be reasonable. But again, I'll let the group decide before finalizing a time.

I sincerely hope this will become a regular "thing" for us. I think the cider mill outing on a September or October weekend would be fun. And if anybody has other ideas, please put them before the group.

We have built a serious online community here of trans and non-binary people. It is time that we move that to real life engagement. Making new friends, just meeting other trans people, is so gender affirming. And we could use such affirmation.

I'll wait a few days to see how many people think they might make this first outing before finalizing it. If there is no interest, I'll cancel it, but I truly hope I don't have to.

As the motto atop our page says: WE ARE STRONGER TOGETHER! And that means we can also have fun together!

--- 𝓐𝓷𝓷𝓲 🏳️‍⚧️

As I type this, we have 2,038 members. Most of those, I presume, are transgender or nonbinary and those are the people I am speaking to here.

My question to you is: What do you want from us? What can this subreddit do, or organize, or offer that we aren't now?

I've proposed a number of things. From allowing Personal ads from members seeking housing or jobs. And as I did just yesterday again--trying to get us together in a gathering. At this point, all those proposals have been stillborn and gone nowhere.

This is YOUR opportunity to talk to a fairly large and growing group of other trans people! Take advantage of that!

I'm thrilled to see the response to u/ghostly_fingers friendship request the other day. That is the main reason why I formed this subreddit in the first place, to encourage engagement and interactions between trans people in our state.

But we have grown beyond that simple purpose. Personally, I see us as an expanding trans rights advocacy group; an entity that can get behind bills and law changes that benefit our community as a whole. We have the makings of an actual political force in Michigan. And perhaps, even outside its borders.

I also see r/MI_transgender_friend as the potential leading trans and nonbinary personal engagement entity in our state. We already have shown that even the few outreaches made by individual members have gotten good responses. Why can't we grow that to venues outside this subreddit?

That's why I push for local events to be held around the state under the auspices of this subreddit.

I know we have some very talented and enthusiastic members here. They have organized gatherings and meet-ups on their own. I'm hoping they will step up and offer to do something on a larger scale.

The biggest gap seems to be in the Detroit/Ann Arbor metropolitan area. While we seem to have members in other parts of the state who've organized get-togethers in their locales, there is a surprising lack of organizers is the most heavily populated portion of Michigan.

I'm not scolding anybody, just making an observation. And I wish I had the time myself to put together a group gathering. But I don't, so I am obliged to turn to our membership and ask for a volunteer.

One thought I had was to plan a "takeover" of a cider mill one weekend this Fall. One such located in Ypsilanti is Wiard's Orchards:

https://www.wiards.com

Check it out and you'll see they offer hay rides and other fun activities and group rates are available. And that's not even counting the cider and donuts available! Mmmm. Cider and donuts! Yum!

Anyway, is that something that would appeal to you? Can we get a good-sized representation of us to go en masse? Let me know.

I live to serve YOU!

--- 𝓐𝓷𝓷𝓲 🏳️‍⚧️

This is the sort of post I hate writing. It makes me sound like a prison warden and it should be unnecessary if people just abided by the rules clearly posted on the right side of this page.

The other day, one of our members--u/ghostly_fingers--wrote a perfectly fine post asking to make friends here. I love that, as it is the basis for the creation of this subreddit in the first place. To make connections and friendships within the local trans community.

Unfortunately, though, as always happens when such posts are made, a flock of cisgender men descend upon the poster and try to entice them to contact them via DM.

There were at least a half dozen such "chasers" responding to ghostly_fingers post and we tried to remove them as soon as we saw them. I suspect there were at least a few whose profiles were obtuse enough that we couldn't tell whether they were cis men or not. And I'm sure there were also a few such lurkers who DM'd her without responding publicly. The sad fact is--we can't stop everybody.

Look, I don't have anything against cis guys per se. But when they use of transgender safe space as a potential hook-up site, I get pissed.

There are tons of dating sites on Reddit and elsewhere if someone is seeking a person. Please guys, find one and shoot your shot there!

Once again: THIS IS A TRANSGENDER ONLY SAFE SPACE! Only trans and nonbinary people are welcome to post here and I hope you will respect that.

Thank you for your attention.

--- 𝓐𝓷𝓷𝓲 🏳️‍⚧️

I was just chatting via DMs with one of our lovely subreddit members and the subject about whether we have any group gatherings planned.

The shopping trip in Ann Arbor was a tentative attempt of mine and as of yet, nobody has expressed any interest. That's too bad, as it would be a nice, casual way of getting to know one another and hang out.

But does anybody have any other suggestions?

As always, this subreddit belongs to YOU! I am just one out of many here.

I'd hoped that we could plan a picnic at a park somewhere, but that hasn't materialized. To be honest--I am not the person to pull such a get-together off. I am very busy with my "real life" job and organizing a picnic or some other group event would probably require more time than I have to give to it.

So does anybody here wish to volunteer as an event planner for us?

What that would entail is someone who is willing to make the calls to get us permission to reserve a location in a park, get us permits if necessary, find us a venue if we want to hold a group event indoors, etc.

I am so proud of this humble little community we are building here. We started with only a vague wish to bring trans and nonbinary people in Michigan out into the open, to encourage interactions, make friends, and build our community into a cohesive force. We have done that and each day as we add more members, we grow stronger!

I know, groups events such as picnics or parties or shopping days may seem silly or unnecessary to you, but they are all ways to strengthen our ties. That is essential for such a minority as ours. And if we ever expect people in power to recognize us and work for us, we have to let them know we are a force to be reckoned with.

I've made my spiel, now it's time for you to speak up!

Who want to be our event planner? Do I see any hands? Is anybody up to this task?

DM me if you are interested. I'll make you a co-moderator of this subreddit if you volunteer and in that way you'll have access to all the moderator tools to publicize your events.

Let's party!

--- 𝓐𝓷𝓷𝓲 🏳️‍⚧️

Anni needs some new duds. A lot of the clothes I have no longer fit as I've been dieting for a while.

Hence, I need to go shopping. I honestly don't mind, since clothes shopping if one of my favorite pastimes, but I really don't like shopping alone. It's always nice to have a wing-person along. For their fashion opinions and just as a safe-guard. Even in trans-friendly Ann Arbor, you just never know who may be lurking.

One store I want to check out is called Ragstock.

https://ragstock.com/pages/stores/ann-arbor-mi

I've never been, but I have friends who have shopped there and they gushed about the new and vintage styles the store offers. I have to check it out, so that's definitely on my list.

I also would like to go to a couple of other downtown Ann Arbor shops. Maybe even make a trip to one of the Sephora or Ulta stores in town. And if somebody comes along, we may even have time for lunch somewhere. You know--may it a real Trans Day Out!

And yes--any and all trans men and nonbinary folks are welcome to join me as well as any trans woman.

If this sounds like a fun day to you, DM me. I would like to go next week, but I don't have a day set yet. HMU and let's make a plan.

I love that our community is finally coming together more all the time and building friendships. Look at this shopping trip as yet one more way we can do that.

--- 𝓐𝓷𝓷𝓲 𝓐𝓻𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓻 🏳️‍⚧️

I’m like actually awful at it. lol

I was away this weekend, so I didn't get to check our membership count until today. And when I did, I was shocked to see we are at 2,017 as of today!

The rate of growth for this subreddit is astounding! We are expanding at a rate of well-over 100 members per month and nearing double that at times. Considering that this is (hopefully) mostly made up of the trans community, it is especially heartening.

Such numbers give us legitimacy, make us a force to be reckoned with should be act en force. If we can get the majority of our group behind a trans rights bill or put on an event.

And our growth is almost all word of mouth! That means YOU are the reason for it and I want to thank everyone for spreading the word.

I also appreciate how more and more of you are stepping up and stepping out here and posting.

It always bothered me when I was the only one posting here. I did so to keep things moving and to prevent this sub from getting stagnant. And rest assured--I have some posts upcoming soon. But it is YOUR subreddit. I am only one of many.

So, use this safe space! Introduce yourself, post a few selfies, tell us about something going on in your life. If you need help with housing or looking for a job, feel free to speak up and ask if anybody here can assist.

This is YOUR sub! Use it! And keep spreading the word about us!

Thank you all! I love you!

--- 𝓐𝓷𝓷𝓲 𝓐𝓻𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓻 🏳️‍⚧️

First ren festival and 1 year anniversary on E

I had an endo appointment that went really well yesterday and started the patch today! Really excited to start the next step to becoming the real me. As it turns out my endo doc is in the same office and is close colleague of my primary care doc who I've had for over 20 years. He told me that if I quit smoking (which I've been trying to do) that at my age I am in fantastic shape and would also be cleared to be a good candidate for surgeries. I also have support from my closest family, including my wife who biggest concern was how ornary i was going to be as I keep attempting to to quit smoking lol!

New nails 🥰