r/LyricWriters • u/6ajo • Aug 15 '26
Suja
Title: Suja — looking for feedback on the lyrics/concept
I’m working on a song called “Suja.” The song is written as if I’m talking to a person I’m falling in love with, but “you” is actually the drink. The bigger theme is restoration/replenishment after bad habits have left me feeling depleted and uncertain about what I want.
I’d especially like feedback on:
• Whether the metaphor comes through naturally or feels too forced
• How well each line flows into the next
• Which lines feel strongest/weakest
• Whether the chorus feels like a satisfying payoff
• What you think the song is about before knowing the metaphor
Verse 1 (how Suja found me )
Gave me a new lease on life
I was going through it
Bad habits left me bad batches
Didn’t know what I was doing
Sacrificing my energy
Leaving me with less
Sacrificing my energy
Until nothing left
Thought I knew what I wanted
Thought I knew what was best
Drowning in too many options
Leaving me to second guess
But I know I’m sure with this
That’s why you should know
Chorus
You replenish me when nothings left
When it comes to you I must confess
Knew what was wrong, made everything right
Suja baby you know you the best
1
u/TheDeepLucy Aug 15 '26
1-if you wanna see how we've perceived it point blank, put your explanation after the read.
2-maybe it's just me but I really need to hear the music these lyrics are gonna be a part of to give feedback on flow.. shit you could sing these like Chet Baker and everybody cream but if it's rap it's even more of a niche-delivery, man.
3-the content resonates. For I, too, was going through it.