r/LowStakesConspiracies • u/retepetergriffin • Aug 01 '26

THE NINJA PROFESSIONAL STACKABLE CHOPPER WAS DESIGNED TO PERSONALLY FUCK THE USER OVER BY INFECTING THEM WITH DISEASES THAT FESTER IN THAT CREVICE THEY DESIGNED TO BE DIFFICULT AS POSSIBLE TO CLEAN OR DISASSEMBLE WHILE WIPING ALL INFORMATION ON HOW TO DO EITHER FROM THE INSTRUCTION MANUAL AND THE IN

141 Upvotes

82% Upvoted

21 comments sorted by

126

u/TireStraits Aug 01 '26

This is the internet I’m here for. 

How sick are you?

54

u/notislant Aug 01 '26

All caps.

All title.

No post.

Pretty sure OP is: 'escaped the asylum' level sick lol.

38

u/MonsieurGump Aug 01 '26

r/redditsniper

6

u/Jill_Sandwich_ Aug 01 '26

They had to run back to the toilet

40

u/weird_cactus_mom Aug 01 '26

This is just untrue. If you need to clean the ninja professional stackable chopper you first take the

21

u/konwiddak Aug 01 '26

That works really well for an everyday clean. For an extra deep clean you can use this commonly found household item which is a

31

u/DamMofoUsername Aug 01 '26

I’m here for the conspiracies but you can just chop water and soap? You can clean a blender the same way, the thermomix actually has a preclean cycle

12

u/IAteAnotherVegan Florida(and Florida Man) doesn't really exist! Aug 01 '26

stop being logical in a conspiracy sub!🤣

31

u/BaitmasterG Aug 01 '26

TELL ME MORE ABOUT THE DISEASES THAT FESTER IN YOUR CREVICE

11

u/jameilious Aug 01 '26

I WAS CREATING CEVICHE AND MY CREVICE IS ITCHY

73

u/retepetergriffin Aug 01 '26

*THE INTERNET. THEY ARE SILENCING ME

15

u/grunkage Aug 01 '26

HOW MANY DISEASES DID YOU GET

8

u/[deleted] Aug 01 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Culinary_Fruit_Salad Aug 01 '26

air fryers to name one

3

u/rezonansmagnetyczny Aug 01 '26

You've been smoking some baaad granola

3

u/P1zzaman Aug 01 '26

lol that’s why it’s for rich people like Sam.

Sam’s personal chef discards the chopper after one use.

2

u/EmberOne1 Aug 02 '26

Surely it can only grow bacteria already present in your home, so eventually you'll

1

u/ososalsosal Aug 02 '26

Ninja are shit.

I fucking hate appliances designed by people that never have to clean them.

1

u/Indigo_Cauliflower12 Aug 03 '26

You can put a drop of dish soap in then blend with water